MAG Crying at practice

[homer]

Hi
My son is 8 and this seems to have become more regular lately. He has had a new coach since Dec.
It is embarrassing for him in front of his mates but he cant control it. It is always concerned with tumbling as he finds this really difficult. I can see his coach is frustrated that he is not able to do things at the same speed as the others, but sometimes he just seems plain mean. I'm anxious that this will end up putting my son off gymnastics for good.
And I also find it slightly ridiculous that my 8 year old is being told to 'man up'......
Is this typical of mens gymnastics?

 

[JBS]

This is typical of "men"...not "men's gymnastics".

Just talk with the coach and see if you can figure out his angle. Used sparingly...that technique can work...after all...boys want to be men.

 

[BlairBob]

It happens with some coaches and other male gymnasts, especially in 'Murica. As a coach, I could tell the other boys not to say it but it's hard to be in police mode every moment.

I used to have one of my guys around 9 or 10 and we could just cry his eyes out and then hide under a mat in the gym. My other guys were very WTH, from the 6-11yo. A lot of the girls team would ask me if I knew if so and so was hiding behind a mat and I would generally just say thanks and think, WTH now. Super emotional kid that to go to therapy for it (and btw was also something of a child actor). Generally he never cried because it was because of skills but some other stuff.

He eventually quit. Hopefully it works out for you.

Bring up the issue to the coach. Sounds like maybe he just needs to get a spot or go take it down a notch and do an easier progression with or without the coach.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

well, 8 is a bit young to be told to man up. just my take.

 

[munchkin3]

My son is a cryer......yes AND he is 12......maybe he is a mama's boy.....cant say for sure because he is 12...
He doesnt ball or anything but he definitley gets all welled up often.

I am glad he has not learned to bottle it ALL up, lets just say that he is in touch with his emotional nature LOL!!
Dear Brother on the other hand, he pushes it WAAAAYYYY down!

I think the sport is very intense and emotional for both coach and gymnast. I cant imagine how to get kids to do something incredibly dangerous that they may not want to do!

If my son loves going, then I take....and ask many questions to make sure he is OK in there.

 

[skschlag]

Honestly, I think it depends on the reason for the crying. D's coach will tell them to "man up" depending on their reason. D can be emotional, but he has learned coping strategies for it. He knows that he doesn't need to cry because he isn't getting things quickly enough or if the coach seems upset. Coaches get upset. D knows that his coach is hard on him because he knows he can do better. But D will get emotional after practice, in the car or at home. He kind of releases if he has had a hard day.

That being said, I think one thing coaches and teachers have to do is gauge the emotional maturity of each child. Some children need different tools than others. Nothing works for all! In fact, we had one kiddo quit gym because he used to get so emotional that other kids (my son) got in trouble! Never bothered my son, who, unfortunately, needs the tough love to get through things sometimes!

 

[JBS]

And I also find it slightly ridiculous that my 8 year old is being told to 'man up'......
Is this typical of mens gymnastics?

What exactly is he being told to "man up" about?

 

[profmom]

We have a few boys who get teary when working on their splits. No one seems to mind. The coach is in fact sympathetic and tells them it does hurt if they're really working them hard. For the most part, tears are ignored unless a kid is falling apart or seems to be in serious pain from a fall or something. Falling apart = sit for a few minutes and pull yourself back together. When one of the parents seemed embarrassed that her/his boy was crying, the head coach told the parent that X over there (now a L9 national qualifier) used to cry all the time during practice.

I think that's a better approach than "man up" to an eight year old.

 

[Mom2twingymnasts]

I agree that "man up" seems a bit much for a crying 8 year old. I don't think MEAN helps kids get over fears. Kids cry sometimes (boy or girl).

When my was 8, his coach used a more positive form of the "man up". He would tell the boys they would get their "man card" when they were brave enough to try certain new skills. Well my son was the first on his team to try some new skill (don't remember what is was). He was the first one on the team to get his "man card". My son really expected to get a card. He came home excited that he got his "man card" but "coach forgot to give me the card".

 

[JBS]

What exactly is he being told to "man up" about?

Is it like...

"I need you to man up on this press handstand. It's a very important skill that is going to take lots of hard work to achieve. I would like you to practice 3 at home every day that you do not have practice. Is this something that you can do?"

-or-

"You just need to stop crying and do the RO-BHS...man up!"

 

[homer]

Hi

Thanks for all your replies. It always concerns tumbling, mostly backwards but forwards as well. For Example if they are practicing back tucks off a high mat(onto another one) he can do it with a very light spot but not on his own. If coach asks him to he may cry - presumably because he is frightened, and coach will tell him to 'man up and get on with it. I can see that coach is frustrated as he does have potential and doesn't seem to be struggling on other events. My son never complains about the coach but he spends a lot of time at the gym and he gets quite a bit of criticism. I dont want it to break his spirit. He is also starting to dread going on floor or tumble trak. It's hard because the others in his group dont seem to have any problems with it. I know that no one can answer this question really but if he is having such a problem already with fear how does this affect his progression in the sport? We will have to make a decision in the next few weeks as to whether to put his hours up and I cant help thinking that devoting so much time to one sport may not be in his best interests, taking into account all of the above.
Sorry have gone on a bit!! any help or advice appreciated.

 

[JBS]

Coach is probably just frustrated...like you said. The whole "man up" thing is probably not going to work in this case. I would speak with the coach.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

and now it sounds like it's a vestibular problem.

 

[gymbo]

I think this is how boys just talk to each other. My son gets told to "stop being soft" and "man up" (he is 10) when his coach KNOWS he can do a skill but he is backing off a bit and not giving it everything he's got. Its the only way that my son will actually try something new. Personally it wouldn't bother me but if it upsets you, maybe you need to have a meeting with the coach?

 

[All Chalked Up]

We have an older boy (I think he's 14) who is a crier, particularly when he is in pain (VERY low pain tolerance) or when he is tired/scared/embarassed.

Usually the coach reminds him that he is a role model for the younger ones and to set a good example by controlling his emotions, which always seems to do the trick.

I didn't have time to read the post so hopefully it's revelent!