Parents So Sad for Little Bit

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lovofu

Proud Parent
She went back to the old gym tonight to support her sister in her tramp practice...her new gym didn't have practice so I prayed it would be OK. It was horrific...the girls tried to talk to her during their snack and the coach yelled up into the balcony..."Stay away from her"....all the girls faces fell and my daughter was crushed....

Makes our decision to leave so much stronger...

Sigh......

K
 
I don't mean this in a rude way, but did you really think it would be okay to take her back there to watch? I'm not saying their behavior was right, but I wouldn't have expected anything different.
 
Sounded like the girls were ok with it and it was the "adults" that had issues - so sad really. I don't care what happened the adults should be adults and during break or snack time the girls should be able to talk to anyone they are friends with. Adult drama i swear is worse than kid drama. With that said expecting a warm fuzzy feeling and thinking it would be OK usually never happens unfortunatly.
 
I've just been around gyms long enough to know that with most coaches, especially how this one was described, going back to visit is never okay.

I had a friend whose DD went to my DD's first gym before DD ever started gymnastics and then left for greener pastures along with most of the Level 10 team. Several years after she left we had dinner while DD had gym and she stepped in to watch for a minute and the head coach freaked out. They did not want her there because they thought she was spying for her DD's new team. Then the owner told me they didn't want me talking to her about anything related to the gym. Um, my DD was in preteam. What info could I possibly be giving her? Which girls can do a pullover?
 
She went back to the old gym tonight to support her sister in her tramp practice...her new gym didn't have practice so I prayed it would be OK. It was horrific...the girls tried to talk to her during their snack and the coach yelled up into the balcony..."Stay away from her"....all the girls faces fell and my daughter was crushed....

Makes our decision to leave so much stronger...

Sigh......

K

So sorry for you and your daughter. I learned my lesson the hard way too in a similar situation...It is a shame that the adults can't behave like adults...I know EXACTLY what you mean by it affirming the reason you left, but it still hurts a lot to see your daughter treated this way :(

I hope your other daughter is being treated fairly...that must complicate things quite a bit still having a daughter at the gym you just pulled your other daughter from.
 
I don't mean this in a rude way, but did you really think it would be okay to take her back there to watch? I'm not saying their behavior was right, but I wouldn't have expected anything different.

Well, I would have considering those involved are supposed to be adults. JMO, but she's just a kid saying hello to friends on their break. lovofu, I am so sorry that your girl had to experience that. :-( Hope she is settling in well in her new gym.
 
all i can think of is that stencil i talk about of the Italian finger...
 
This just makes me so sad. Your daughter is only what, 7? "Stay away from her"? that is so mean!! How do you keep your other daughter there? I'd pull her out immediately. If they are still accepting your money for your other daughter, then how can they treat her family (regardless of where she attends gym) that way? I just can't understand why your other daughter is there. But you don't have to explain to me, I'm not involved. Just my 2 cents.
 
So you have a another child still at old gym? UGH! I would start looking for another place for her as well now. You will never feel comfortable or accepted there again. While that behavior towards a child is not acceptable in my book, if you look at it thru their eyes (owners, coaches, staff, ect...) you still being there will raise alot of questions among the parents. A simple question about why Sophia isn't there anymore will generate talk and because she left, probably negative talk. This sounds like they are doing damage control by not wanting Sophia any where near old friends or teamates. When kids leave, it's not usually just one, it can become contagious and gyms can loose entire teams! I know, because I was part of an entire L5 team that left one gym for another.
 
That's terrible that the coaches act that way, but unfortunately it is quite common. I feel bad for your older dd now because the coaches may take their anger and resentment out on her. This doesn't look like a good situation and I foresee a lot of tension for your family at this old gym. Is there a different gym that older dd can switch to where you had no previous ties? Good luck with this. This is a really tough situation.
 
Unfortunately, I would not have taken her back to the old gym!! We also have personal experience w/the exact same situation. My DD left a gym and when we went back to support her teammates at a meet held there, we were both banned from the gym.... o.k. seriously??? At any rate, the kids always seem to be o.k. and adjust and even welcome their old teammates. It's always the adults who act like the jerks. I'm hoping you're looking for a program for older DD at the new gym as well. It would make things SO much easier for everyone involved!! Good luck and keep us posted!
 
I'm sorry but if anyone treated a family member of mine like that, I would never support them financially. I'm assuming that they might be the only tramp game in town so if your other daughter wants to tramp, it's there or no where. But I would consider this a lesson in character development and loyalty. Of course, it's easy to say that when you have one child rather than multiples. Loyalty is very important to me and I cannot imagine supporting a gym and coach who treated my daughter like that.
 
1. The behavior was inappropriate, no matter what.
2. It wasn't even like she just "stopped in to say Hi" or whatever... she was there because her sister is still a (paying) student there. If siblings are allowed to be in the gym with a parent, then she should be allowed to be there.
3. The behavior was inappropriate, no matter what.

It makes me furious when I see adults behaving in a way that I wouldn't allow my child to behave.

It would be awful to have to pull your older DD out if she's happy with where she is and has wonderful coaches, but I just can't imagine having to go back there for anything after a coach treated my child that way. :(
 
My DD left a gym and when we went back to support her teammates at a meet held there, we were both banned from the gym.... o.k. seriously???

Banned from the gym? At a meet that is open to the public? A mother and child? Really? Were you wearing T-shirts that said "Gym X Sucks! You should quit and join Gym Y instead!"???
 
I'm sorry to hear that you and your dd were subjected to adults acting like spoiled children. Does it happen in this and other sports? Yes, but that doesn't make it acceptable or justified behavior.

I agree with others that you need to take your other dd out of that gym. I can't imagine its the only gym in the area with a tramp program. Absolutely cut all ties with that gym and move on.
 
Well, I would have considering those involved are supposed to be adults. JMO, but she's just a kid saying hello to friends on their break. lovofu, I am so sorry that your girl had to experience that. :-( Hope she is settling in well in her new gym.

As I said in my post the behavior was not okay, but not even knowing the coach personally and only from her description, I would have known beforehand that it would not be okay.

It's the same way that everytime a parent on here asks if they should take their kid back to say goodbye to all their teammates, most posters agree that it isn't the best idea. Invite them somewhere neutral.
 
Unfortunately, I would not have taken her back to the old gym!! We also have personal experience w/the exact same situation. My DD left a gym and when we went back to support her teammates at a meet held there, we were both banned from the gym.... o.k. seriously??? At any rate, the kids always seem to be o.k. and adjust and even welcome their old teammates. It's always the adults who act like the jerks. I'm hoping you're looking for a program for older DD at the new gym as well. It would make things SO much easier for everyone involved!! Good luck and keep us posted!

I think anyone whose been around gymnastics long enough knows this is how A LOT of coaches act when someone leaves their gym.
 
As I said in my post the behavior was not okay, but not even knowing the coach personally and only from her description, I would have known beforehand that it would not be okay.

It's the same way that everytime a parent on here asks if they should take their kid back to say goodbye to all their teammates, most posters agree that it isn't the best idea. Invite them somewhere neutral.

Well, in this case, Little Bit has an older sister still at the gym. I'm not sure what she could've done differently. It sounds like lovofu needed to be there for her older child and Little Bit had to come along. It wasn't like they showed up unannounced and disrupted the practice to say good-bye. Where we live, we have 2 gyms- the one my daughter competes at and the other one. There was a move the season before my daughter competed where 4 compulsory girls from the other gym moved to DD's gym. However in the competitions we were at with the other gym last season, I did not once see the other gym's coaches act rudely to their former girls. The parents of these girls confirmed this. I've seen the same from our coaches with a few older girls who moved to the other gym for optionals. There can be civility where gym switching is concerned. Our HC has the girls sign a form that says if they switch gyms locally, they can't come back to her gym. However, I've not seen her hold a grudge if they do switch. Lovofu, hopefully you find another gym for your older girl to switch to. Sounds like they will not be forgiving for moving Sophia.
 

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