WAG Finally facing fear

[cbone]

I've been told that fear was coming and we're finally there. The skill? BWO on beam. She's finally going by herself after a ton of start-stops. SHE GOT IT! (Sorry for the running commentary.)

 

[cbone]

It's odd that her having fear sort of validates her experience for me. It's like it's a rite of passage.

 

[iwannacoach]

I hate to see the start-stop work on beam. If it's happening because she's trying before she's truly ready (because *she* wants to do it) it canlead to a bad habit and problems down the road.

I give a kid ten seconds once they're standing on the beam. If they can't do the skill in that span they're not ready. Very plain ad very simple.

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

I hate to see the start-stop work on beam. If it's happening because she's trying before she's truly ready (because *she* wants to do it) it canlead to a bad habit and problems down the road.

I give a kid ten seconds once they're standing on the beam. If they can't do the skill in that span they're not ready. Very plain ad very simple.

So then what? Down to a lower beam or a floor line? Curious.

 

[profmom]

This backwards stuff on beam can be incredibly frustrating for gymnasts and coaches, believe me! I really hope it sticks for her, Cbone, but be ready to support her if it doesn't. Remind her that if she got it once, she can get it again. It just takes time, endless repetition, and an entire mine full of patience. (From the parent whose child is now on I think round 3 or 4 of handstand-BHS drama.)

 

[cbone]

I don't usually have a lot if good input for her gymnastics, but this time I did. Years ago, in my young and dumb days, I went with my buddies to a place that had cliffs you could jump off of into a pool of water. The highest was 80+ feet high. I started and stopped several times until I finally just stood there. After several minutes, a wave of calm washed over me and away I went! I told my daughter that story and that she'd know when she was ready to try and not to push it. She had me tell the story again and then finally went.

She really wanted to get this one and was really courageous. I was so proud that she stuck with it. I get where you're going with your comments, iwc, but this was her pushing herself. The ten second rule seems to be a good one if doing the skill is coach-driven, but if it's the gymnast driving it, it seems too hard-and-fast.

 

[iwannacoach]

So then what? Down to a lower beam or a floor line? Curious.

Back to wherever they can be productive fo another 30 repetitions of the skill. The number is what it is, because I don't want them to "conquer" their fear that day. I want them to work the reason for fear away over time, and thirty is more than they have time for in one day, well usually.....

 

[iwannacoach]

Cbone......

It's not a matter of who wants it because it should always be the child driving the car, not me. I present the notion to the kids that time is precious and to move a skill to the next level is a waste of time and mental energy if you're not confident enought to do it on little more than a deep breath and a quick mental image.

 

[cbone]

I see that. Especially when it's a team practice.

 

[profmom]

Cbone......

It's not a matter of who wants it because it should always be the child driving the car, not me. I present the notion to the kids that time is precious and to move a skill to the next level is a waste of time and mental energy if you're not confident enought to do it on little more than a deep breath and a quick mental image.

I want to like this 100 times, because it does such a good job of de-escalating the stakes.

 

[vagymmomma]

Cbone - just to reiterate an earlier post, the backwards "stuff" on beam is what I see gymnasts struggle with more than anything else from a fear perspective (yes, kips and giants are gate keepers, but kip issues in particular aren't base on fear). I've seen many girls struggle with these backwards issues for years. They'll compete BWO on beam for 1/2 a season and then refuse to try it again for a month. Same with BHS. So be prepared because it might come and go, and it is incredibly frustrating for parents. "She's been doing it! I don't understand! ..." I've seen parents try bribes. Some girls have moved on to cheer just because of these beam fears. I really, really hope your daughter has rid her fears, but note it may come back.

To IWC's point, whatever the skill, the gymnast has to want it above all else. It's true with everything in life. When my kids were much younger and taking their first tests in school, I remember studying diligently with them and then first realizing the outcome was completely beyond my control. I can't take the test. Or perform the skill. Or apply for the job.

These kind of times in gymnastics are truly great life lessons. My DD was ecstatic this weekend with the realization that she had accomplished all the summer goals she had set for gym. I know that her connecting the hard work with the accomplishments will help her in life.

I'm always delighted by the unbridled joy you show in your daughter's accomplishments. Obstacles are big a part of the sport though and how she works around them is as important as getting over the obstacle itself.

 

[Jenny]

The fear thing always pops up eventually. You just can't predict it. It is great when they find a way through it. Just takes time and patience. I always thought that hurling herself off the bars head first would be more scary than just doing the move (which was what my dd did for a while) but who knows. LOL>

 

[bogwoppit]

Oh Jenny I totally hear you on that. Mine was doing the hurl thing off the beam and scaring the crap out of everyone, herself included. I think she did it just to get the skill done, but once she slowed things back down and went back a few steps things got easier.

Fears are all about the child, when parents try to talk to their gymmie about the issues it just makes things so much worse as they can never get away from the fear.

 

[LizzieLac]

Fears are all about the child, when parents try to talk to their gymmie about the issues it just makes things so much worse as they can never get away from the fear.

Yes, totally agree. My DD was having trouble with the BWO on beam when she first learning it, afraid to go for it and standing up there forever. I tried talking to her and I was even going to bribe her until I realized that there was NOTHING I could do and bribing was just plain stupid. That is not what this sport is about.

Now, I say almost nothing about gymnastics other than "how was practice" or to praise her/congratulate her when new things come or when there is great improvement on a skill (bars would fall into that category).

I have found that being too involved in watching pratice and all of that is just bad all the way around, for us anyway.

 

[Ingwe]

My daughter totally stresses when I start asking too many questions or spending too much time watching practice. She is training/competing level 10 this season and I really didn't want to add to her stress level.

I haven't been in the gym in over 4 months. I have no clue what's been going on (other then the 1 or 2 videos she has shared with me)

When I was fixing her hair for school today I finally got the "nerve" to ask about the specifics of her training. Within 5 minutes she was annoyed with me. I am retreating and I guess just be surprised when I actually see what she has accomplished.

Back on topic.......I learned (the hard way) a long time ago when it comes to fear issues that I just need to back off, keep my mouth shut, and let her work through them herself in her own time.

 

[gymmomtoo]

My daughter has, thankfully, never hurled herself off anything to avoid a skill--I can imagine how that would make your heart stop, Jenny!

And I don't think strength of will has much to do with overcoming a block or fear--beyond just having the strength to continue to work at it and push through.

 

[luvmygymdtr]

What is the moment in a child's gymnastics career when fear has won? I am always concerned when my daughter has a block on a skill that it's all over, and it's time to find something new. Or is overcoming fear and a block just part of a day in the life of a gymnastics, and I should get over it? How much time do you give it?

 

[dchawkfan]

Well, after two years of doing her bwo on beam, she decided two weeks ago she just can't do it....the gym has a judge coming next Friday for our team mock meet and first real meet is a month away! Fearful now about how her seasons will go (she does new L5 oct-dec and new L6 jan-mar). Praying she gets over this block soon! In the meantime, her coach has her doing back extension rolls which look fine, but her L6 routine has ticktock/bwo series so not sure what will happen there.

Don't ya just love the gymnastics roller coaster!!

 

[Granny Smith]

What is the moment in a child's gymnastics career when fear has won? I am always concerned when my daughter has a block on a skill that it's all over, and it's time to find something new. Or is overcoming fear and a block just part of a day in the life of a gymnastics, and I should get over it? How much time do you give it?

Some fears/blocks can take a long time, years. I have mentioned many times that my dd has had a block that she has been working (see present tense) since she finished up her L7 season. Here we are 6 years later and it's still present. She does twist now, but she is definitely behind other L10s. She can get through doing some twisting but I can still see the fear when she is about to go for her floor passes that involve twisting.

It's a very slow process and if it was a "backwards" issue, she would of probably been out of the sport by now. You just can't move on with a "backwards" issue, maybe you can get around it if it's just on beam, but definitely not if it is on floor also. Twisting, she can kind of work around and honestly you don't start twisting until optional levels so you can work with it. It takes a caring coach, who can work with the situation to help get the gymnast through it. For my dd, twisting is definitely her weakest link on floor and beam dismounts, but she has worked with it and it is to the point where she can do the minimum to get by at her level.

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

DOes it make sense that a child might have fears of a backwards series on beam (ie BHS BLO or BHS BHS) but NOT a single skill (ie back tuck)?

DD acknowledged to me that she now has issues with these two series? I asked if she is scared, and she said not exactly, but is still quite young so sometimes can't verbalize. I told her she had to talk to her coach about it, and to be honest (she tends to say nothing so as not to let her coach down), and that moving the skill back to a lower beam, fat pad, line on floor is OK until she is more comfortable. She was relieved. But strangely the standing back tuck is fine