Anon Gymnasts who are scared of everything

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Anonymous (3a33)

I coach two gymnasts, who are very cautious and timid to try anything new especially on beam and floor, and a little bit on vault and bars too. I'm looking for some suggestions how to approach the issue.

The gymnasts are the same age (turning 12 this year) and I have coached them for a long time now (more than 3 years). When they were little, they were the superstars who medaled all the time in the lower levels. Then they started to regress. They both developed a mental block on beam back walkover at first. I'm a little hesitant to call it an actual block, because it was a new skill to them and not yet automatised. They had that skill in their beam routine but didn't compete it, they just took the deduction. This was like 2-3 years ago. It was hard, but we did not make it a huge deal, they even scored out of that level missing the BWO completely. We moved on and started to train for the optionals. At this point floor was not a problem. Then one of them balked on RO-BHS-BHS. She didn't get hurt or anything, but of course got very scared. We stopped back tumbling for a moment. Then the same thing happened to another one! And then things got really complicated!

I tried to treat it like an injury - I did not make it a big deal. I just said: you will get it when you are ready. At first it was just the BHS, but then it started to affect their confidence in everything. Things got bad real quick, and at one point (like a year ago) one of them would not even do a front tuck on floor! A skill she learned at 7, maybe... I'm not exaggerating when I say that at one point she wouldn't even do a full turn on beam. I don't know if she was actually THAT scared or if it was all about losing the confidence and hating it.

Well, now the situation has been ongoing for 2 years. I'm getting really tired. I'm trying not to show it to them. They have lost their will to even try new things. If I suggest them some new skill try work on, it's immediate no. No matter if it's a front or back tumbling skill. They can only do tumbling on floor if there is a mat on floor, but that's not allowed at every competition and they would need a mat for every pass! It's getting so frustrating. On beam, they are willing to work on ALL KIND OF SKILLS on floor beam (I mean, they are talented kiddos, they have their back tucks, back handsprings, aerials, you name it, on floor beam), but not willing to even consider the high beam. Sometimes I'm able to bribe them to try BWO on high beam with a spot, but it's always a huge deal and they are not willing to try again the next day. Same with floor, they can do all kind of tumbling to the pit and all kind of flips on the trampoline, but when you try to take it to the competition setting they refuse. On bars they can do anything on straps and on pit bar, but it's been a HUGE struggle to put those skills in their actual routines. Not because they can't do them, but because they don't really like working out of their comfort zone.

Last competition season they competed the bare minimum skills in their level (like level 6 in the USA) and because they are talented gymnasts with nice form and presentation, they scored well and medaled all the time again. They would do some of the skills in competition if there were mats on floor and under the high beam, but if those were not available or they didn't like the mats, they would just not do the skill. They were happy to medal many many times with those darn mats. When I asked them what kind of upgrades they would like to work on to add in their routines, both just said they don't know. So basically they are happy with the skills they already have. In most of the competitions extra mats are allowed, but we are attending a bigger travel meet where they are not allowed without deduction, and they are both just thinking to take the deduction. It drives me crazy, because I know that without that deduction they would be able to qualify to the big finals and everything, but they don't seem to care.

Is there anything I can do? I have had countless conversations with their parents, and we all agree that we should not put too much pressure on them, but at the same time I feel like they will be STUCK in this level for the rest of their gymnastics career if we don't change something. They both love gymnastics, they are best friends and love our group and us coaches. The issues IS NOT that they are done with the sport, because they aren't. They just can't get out of their comfort zone.

Please help!!!
 
Is there anything I can do? I have had countless conversations with their parents, and we all agree that we should not put too much pressure on them, but at the same time I feel like they will be STUCK in this level for the rest of their gymnastics career if we don't change something. They both love gymnastics, they are best friends and love our group and us coaches. The issues IS NOT that they are done with the sport, because they aren't. They just can't get out of their comfort zone.

No... their gymnastics lifecycle will come to an end eventually... and that is OK. They will find something else that they will have fun with.

It's time to encourage more sport sampling / other activities.

It's time to stop catering to their every need and just coach. If they are still the same level next year... then that is were they are at.

Many times people think I sound like a very negative coach when I state things like this... but it's the opposite... what you have typed above sounds negative to me.

Coaching an athlete in a sport and "saving them" are two completely different things... coaches don't "save" athletes.

In this scenario I always use the 0 or 1 concept. You are either a 0 or a 1 on each and every different thing you are doing in the gym. If you are a 0... then nothing that you are doing (turns... drills... etc.) is useful as anything x 0 = 0. If you are a 1 then everything that you are doing is useful. Taking empty turns on a low beam is useful at first... but it turns to a 0 very quickly. 100,000 stuck BHS on a low beam x 0 = 0.

You can coach and motivate "can" (1). You can't coach or motivate "can't" (0). Find the "cans" (1's) and coach and motivate them. Find the skills that these two athletes are a 1 on... coach them there and you will see progress.

Teach the athletes how to turn themselves into a 1. I use numbers as numbers don't have emotions... 0 or 1... that's all... it's just math.

This is just all my opinion.
 
I feel your frustration and can understand it but as an old and jaded coach, have come to the realisation over the years that the kids need to want it for themselves. It doesn’t matter how much you want it for them or their parents want it for them, they need to want it for themselves and be willing to do the work and push themselves outside their comfort zones.

It sounds like they are doing recreational gymnastics, at a high level obviously, but for fun, with no competitive or high skill level goals. If it is not fun (scary, challenging, uncomfortable), then they aren’t interested. I would sit down with them individually and see what their goals are, if they have any, then work out a plan together on how to achieve them (If they write the plan they may be more willing to work to it). If they don’t have any but to have fun, you need to make a decision on if your program is willing to cater to that, or if there is a recreational program or another gymsport that would be more suited to them.

I’m not sure where you are from, or how your club/program works but there are natural consequences for every decision and you need to let them happen. If they fall behind the group because they won’t try new things, then they move down to a group of appropriate skill level. If they don’t qualify to the big meets and everyone else does, then they miss out on the trip. They will either push themselves if they don’t like the consequences, or not. If they want it, they will work for it. Give the opportunity to someone who wants it.

As with JBS, it can sound harsh but better than pushing them to achieve your/ their parents goals. I’m all for working through or around blocks with gymnasts but it has to be because they want it, not because I do.
 
It isn't easy, but it's great to have kids like this from time to time as it really helps us develop our skills as coaches. Even if you don't manage to get them through the mental blocks, the work you do with them will help you to support other gymnasts in the future.

First off, its not unusual for kids to go through this, these girls are suffering a particularly severe case of mental blocks, but at their age you see this to varying degrees from most kids. When kids are little they don't possess the ability to think in the abstract, they consider the here and now. As they reach puberty their thinking skills develop and they start to be able to consider possible consequences for their actions, even if these things haven't happened. It is an essential life skill, which they will need to keep themselves safe in life. But just like any new skill, it's not easy to control at first, and they can let this type of thinking take over. The young pre-teen brain is all over the place and they can't always access the logical part that tells them, "Its okay, i've done the drills, my coach is spotting" etc.

Ultimately fear is not a bad thing, it is a good thing in gymnastics. Its keeps our gymnasts safe and when they learn to work with their fear it helps them to know when they are ready to do a skill and when they are not. If we help the kids to celebrate it and look on it positively it can help.

The main method for dealing with fear is to break each skill down into a huge ladder of as many steps as your can, from the super basic drills, to the full skill. Have the gymnast identify where in the ladder they are confident and work there, stepping up as ready.



FUN
When kids are having fun with a drill or skill, their desire to do it can help push past their fear. Find ways to make drills fun (use equipment, the pit, trampolines), have fun side stations that address the movements of the skill. Find creative ways to make it exciting.

SELF BELEIF
Make sure you give them lots of positive encouragement when any step of the skill is mastered. Help them to see that they are doing well.
 
We have two sayings / concepts that we use...
  • Riding the Wave = This means working on something that is already going well. For example... taking the 9.5 event and trying to make it a 9.7 instead of taking the 8.0 event and making it an 8.5. The concept that the athlete is working something that is valuable to the entire team (9.7 is a great team score)... many times this positivity will bleed over to some of the negative stuff and help.
  • Flip the Switch = This refers to "turning the problem skill off"... not doing or talking about it at all. If it is a back handspring then we would just have them front tumble instead. If the skill has already been learned... then the skill can stay turned off for months and sometimes it simply comes back.
If we inform our entire coaching staff to "flip the switch & ride the wave" on a particular athlete... it can be very powerful. We are basically telling the staff to remove all negativity / corrections / coaching... unless it is on a wave skill / event.
 
Thank you everyone! You really got me thinking...

I agree that it should be them who are willing to change. It should not be me, nor their parents.

I think they have all kind of goals. They talk about them frequently. But actually, I think they are their dreams, not real goals. They want to be good. They want to do gymnastics every day. They practice 15 hours a week. On their day offs, they still go to the open gym. It doesn't look like they are done. They just can't get through all these fears and blocks.

One of the most challenging part is not knowing if they are just fearful in nature, or if this is actually a very severe mental block. If it is an actual block, I feel awful "blaming" them for the situation, because that would mean they have no control over it. And what makes it even harder to recognize if they have blocks or not is the fact that they are having it at the same time, same skills, same everything. And both have been through a lot lately - one had parents taking a divorce at the time when it all started, and one had a pretty severe conflict with her school best friend last year and then she started to regress even more in the gym. Both are mentally in a better place now (at least I think so).

It's a good advice to focus on things they CAN do. At this point, bars are our best event. Much less tears there. One of them just learned her giants on competition setting, and I made it a HUGE celebration! It was one of the only new skills she has learnt during this 2 year period on competition setting. The other gymnast is very close getting her clear hip to handstand on real bars (she has had it on pit bar for like a 1 now, so baby steps..). Also they are really good at leaps and jumps, both are flexible and graceful and can work on advanced leaps, jumps and turns on floor and some even on beam. So I'm taking notes, let's focus on those for now.

We have had many individual conversations with both of them. Them are very emotional when it comes to this subject. I know that they hate to even talk about it. They are so frustrated, I can see it. They try to explain to me what they are scared of, and it's always about getting hurt. They are so afraid that they are going to balk on everything. That's why they "need" their extra mats, pits, straps... We have also made those goal ladders for them, and for some time it usually works, but at some point they hit a wall and can't get past it. Then even the previous ladders start to cause us headache!
 
I agree that it should be them who are willing to change. It should not be me, nor their parents.
They are 11 years old, they need a lot support from adults to be able to get through this.

This is likely the first time in their young lives they have hit a big wall in their ability to achieve the things they want. Them deciding to change isn’t going to be enough.

As the adults we need to teach these kids how to break down their fears.
 
Yes, I understand that this is really, really hard for them. But it would be much easier to work through this, if they were willing to even try some new skills that I suggest. We are absolutely able to work around back tumbling fears, if that was the only thing, but I feel like they are not even willing to try new front tumbling skills without mats. I have had kids with blocks before, and we have always been able to work around it, but with these two, we have tried literally everything except a sport psychologist. I had a talk with one parent and we agreed that the gymnast should try sport psychologist, but it didn't work out - the one that we had been using before with other athletes had relocated without us knowing, and was no more available. And after a little bit of research we found out that she was the only one in the area. The next closest would be like 2-3 hours drive, and the parents are not willing to do that. I think we would need someone to help us, watch the situation from "outside the box", but we live in an area where help like this is not available. There are not even other gyms to try.
 
I think that your level of patience is truly remarkable but perhaps no longer effective for them.

I used to think that having two kids in a similar block/fear boat work together would be an great way to help them to get past the block. They could encourage and challenge one another, etc. But somehow I have not seen it actually play out that way. My kid had a lot of fear of beam that started as a level 6. In the beginning, she and another child who experienced similar fears were always put together to "work through things". It seemed nice for a bit, because it kept them from feeling hopeless and isolated, but it soon seemed to become a sort of crutch and neither made any headway. When the other child left the sport, my child seemed to undergo a strange transition like the fog lifted and she quickly worked to get everything back and "catch up" to her group. All that to say that perhaps you might try to separate them in some way. If not possible in physical space or time, then perhaps in the skills they will focus on that day. I'm not suggesting they be pitted against one another, but more that they have to look inside themselves and not at the other to find their motivation. Currently, they are likely perpetuating each other's fears.

Another thing to try is to use humor as a form of exposure. One of my children is a diver and her team keeps a shared google photo page for "amazing" fails from their practices. Like hard smacks, ridiculous mid-air bailouts, balks that make them just fall off the board into the pool, etc. They have video cameras with delayed playback at the pool and they all make a specific effort to grab a video of their most spectacular fails to share. I used to think that it was insane that she'd watch these - I worried that it would actually cause her to associate failure with the dives and lead to fear, but instead it ties humor to the failure. It almost makes the kid realize that most times a failure does not result in a disaster, but mere discomfort. And often once past the discomfort, the fail is pretty fantastic.
 
I don't understand the big deal? If they are scared to do new things and are happy at the level they are currently at, let them continue at the level they are at and be happy? If that means they move into a more appropriate group that only does that level then yes, maybe they need to change groups but gymnastics is literally just a hobby, there's no point stressing yourself and them out over it.
Not every kid is going to be a high level gymnast so maybe these 2 gymnasts are at their limit and that's okay
 
I don't understand the big deal? If they are scared to do new things and are happy at the level they are currently at, let them continue at the level they are at and be happy? If that means they move into a more appropriate group that only does that level then yes, maybe they need to change groups but gymnastics is literally just a hobby, there's no point stressing yourself and them out over it.
Not every kid is going to be a high level gymnast so maybe these 2 gymnasts are at their limit and that's okay

No Doubt Yes GIF by The3Flamingos
 
I think that your level of patience is truly remarkable but perhaps no longer effective for them.

I used to think that having two kids in a similar block/fear boat work together would be an great way to help them to get past the block. They could encourage and challenge one another, etc. But somehow I have not seen it actually play out that way. My kid had a lot of fear of beam that started as a level 6. In the beginning, she and another child who experienced similar fears were always put together to "work through things". It seemed nice for a bit, because it kept them from feeling hopeless and isolated, but it soon seemed to become a sort of crutch and neither made any headway. When the other child left the sport, my child seemed to undergo a strange transition like the fog lifted and she quickly worked to get everything back and "catch up" to her group. All that to say that perhaps you might try to separate them in some way. If not possible in physical space or time, then perhaps in the skills they will focus on that day. I'm not suggesting they be pitted against one another, but more that they have to look inside themselves and not at the other to find their motivation. Currently, they are likely perpetuating each other's fears.

Another thing to try is to use humor as a form of exposure. One of my children is a diver and her team keeps a shared google photo page for "amazing" fails from their practices. Like hard smacks, ridiculous mid-air bailouts, balks that make them just fall off the board into the pool, etc. They have video cameras with delayed playback at the pool and they all make a specific effort to grab a video of their most spectacular fails to share. I used to think that it was insane that she'd watch these - I worried that it would actually cause her to associate failure with the dives and lead to fear, but instead it ties humor to the failure. It almost makes the kid realize that most times a failure does not result in a disaster, but mere discomfort. And often once past the discomfort, the fail is pretty fantastic.
This is something I've been thinking before... At first I thought like you - they would help each other not feel different with these problems and they would get through this togerther. But actually I think that it's quite the opposite now. I hear them talking about how scary x, y, z is and what would happen if they tried z, y or z and balked etc. So it's not very encouraging. When one of them is sick or something and just another one is at practice, they actually do better. I have to try to separate them, but it's not always easy in this group of 10, where 5 of them are like level 6 in the USA and 5 of them are like level 4/5 and younger. We usually split them in half by level when we do event work. But we could try "random" small groups on some days.

The point about humour is also very valid! They sometimes struggle to laugh at their own fails, they are very perfectionists in nature. But we have to work on that! We try to keep the atmosphere very light, caring and fun.
 
Here is an article that we had a while back...


Here is Doc Ali... she and her associates do 1 on 1 sessions through Zoom. That way you can do them from anywhere...


Here is her other site...

Thank you for this suggestion, but unfortunately we can't use doc Ali (even if I have heard so great things about her), because the gymnasts are not yet fluent in English. We are located in Europe and English is not their first language. They are learning of course, but they are not fluent enough to have longer conversations without a translator.
 
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I don't understand the big deal? If they are scared to do new things and are happy at the level they are currently at, let them continue at the level they are at and be happy? If that means they move into a more appropriate group that only does that level then yes, maybe they need to change groups but gymnastics is literally just a hobby, there's no point stressing yourself and them out over it.
Not every kid is going to be a high level gymnast so maybe these 2 gymnasts are at their limit and that's okay
They are not necessarely happy to stay in this level. They would want to improve and move up levels. They just like to stay in their comfort zone and can't really see how that affects their progress. I feel like their thinking goes like this: "I would really want to learn that BHS on beam, it would be so cool to compete it, but today I feel like I could possibly balk becuae I'm a bit tired, so I will suggest the coach that I will work on just leaps, jumps and turns today, but I will try that BHS tomorrow. Maybe I'll feel better about it tomorrow."
And I think that they genuinely believe that they will try it "later" but that later never comes. Does this make any sense?
 
Thank you for this suggestion, but unfortunately we can't use doc Ali (even if I have heard so great things about her), because the gymnasts are not yet fluent in English. We are located in Europe and English is not their first language. They are learning of course, but they are not fluent enough to have longer conversations without a translator.

Ok... got it... is it possible to try some of her written coursework with a translator or by using Google translate?
 
They are not necessarely happy to stay in this level. They would want to improve and move up levels. They just like to stay in their comfort zone and can't really see how that affects their progress. I feel like their thinking goes like this: "I would really want to learn that BHS on beam, it would be so cool to compete it, but today I feel like I could possibly balk becuae I'm a bit tired, so I will suggest the coach that I will work on just leaps, jumps and turns today, but I will try that BHS tomorrow. Maybe I'll feel better about it tomorrow."
And I think that they genuinely believe that they will try it "later" but that later never comes. Does this make any sense?
I understand what you are saying however lots of children have goals and aspirations they would like to achieve however that doesn't mean it's either physically and/or mentally possible. For example, a child in recreational gymnastics might have a goal to go to the olympics or be able to do a double back Salto but just because they want to doesn't mean they can do it. Personally I would let them do what they are comfortable doing and focus on your 8 other gymnasts for getting new skills etc. I'm not saying disregard these 2 gymnasts, I'm just saying I really wouldn't get stressed out about it
 

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