Parents A little sad about DDS' gymnastics

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gymhorsemom

Proud Parent
I feel sort of silly admitting this but I am really sad that my 2 kids aren't doing better in gymnastics. Now I didn't need them to be in gymnastics to begin with -they both begged for it and LOVE the sport. I have tried to make good choices and support them but sometimes I feel so defeated. DD1 (7) has really struggled with strength. She has good form and has shown that she can do great cartwheels/handstands from very shortly after starting gymnastics at age 5.5. She is extremely flexible. Now that she's in a 7 hour per week pre team she is finally building that strength and also picking up new skills. I had hoped that she could advance to team but we found out recently that she'll be staying in pre team for another year.

DD2 (5) is not showing any signs of being particularly talented in gymnastics -but she loves the sport and begged me to ask if she can be on pre team with her friends. The answer was a flat out "no." It's a level 1 pre team and I had thought that at this level they could work with the kids and help them to improve but I guess they want them to have some talent going in.

So 2 disappointments in one week for us.

I know it's not over -DD1 will likely compete the following Fall and maybe DD2 will advance to pre team and maybe she won't and maybe that will be just fine -there are other activities out there after all.

But I feel like we/I spend SO much time at the gym, driving to the gym, packing snacks and leos for the gym, etc, etc. And we spend a lot of money too -we've done privates, camps, and of course the regular.

It's become the main activity of our family.

I try not to get too wrapped up but I have a difficult time with this -I think b/c we spend so much time at the gym!

I don't know what kind of advice I'm looking for just venting.
 
I know that struggle all to well....I'm that 'older teammate' that the little ones come to with problems like this. Keep them going, keep encouraging them, but don't nag about gym. They are so young, strength will come over time. Make sure they know YOU believe in them and that they have to follow their dreams! Good lucK!
 
Holy crap....get the tissues! Just watched this with my 5yr old gymmie and totally started crying while trying to read the captions to her.
 
As a mother, my heart goes out to you. It is tough to see our kids, ask for something, want it, work hard towards that goal and not get it. Not all gyms and coaches are created equal. Perhaps you can look around for a gym that is hetter suited to their goals? I know girls having been turned to be part of a team then find a gym that welcomes them open arms and do well. Good luck.
 
As the mother of the only level 4 in our gym to not make states this year and the only level 4 to be repeating I can relate. We moved her from a USAIGC gym to a USAG gym so I knew the change would be hard but it was amazing the strength she was missing. Vault and bars (kip) killed her all season. Currently she is still working out with her team working on level 5 stuff but at summer she is due to join the upcoming level 4s. Suddenly she's improving on vault and kipping more regularly. With only 2 level 5 practices under their belt she is the only one doing walkovers on beam by herself and can do the baby giant and flyaway on bars. I'm sure (on most days anyway) that it will all eventually come together. I'm sure it will for your girls too. I would also consider looking at other gyms if that is a possibility. Getting them on a pre team as early as possible is best to build up the strength.
 
As the mother of the only level 4 in our gym to not make states this year and the only level 4 to be repeating I can relate. We moved her from a USAIGC gym to a USAG gym so I knew the change would be hard but it was amazing the strength she was missing. Vault and bars (kip) killed her all season. Currently she is still working out with her team working on level 5 stuff but at summer she is due to join the upcoming level 4s. Suddenly she's improving on vault and kipping more regularly. With only 2 level 5 practices under their belt she is the only one doing walkovers on beam by herself and can do the baby giant and flyaway on bars. I'm sure (on most days anyway) that it will all eventually come together. I'm sure it will for your girls too. I would also consider looking at other gyms if that is a possibility. Getting them on a pre team as early as possible is best to build up the strength.[/QU

This is my DD too -moved from an x cel pre team to a JO pre team and lack strength -well she always lacked strength so I can't blame it all on the track she was on but they do SO much more conditioning in her new group.

As far as other gyms ours is a mess and I'd love to switch but we've searched around and it's just too far to travel to anything that would work well for us. I really wish there were more options near us.
 
I don't know why my last post showed up in the quote box! Here it is again!

This is my DD too -moved from an x cel pre team to a JO pre team and lack strength -well she always lacked strength so I can't blame it all on the track she was on but they do SO much more conditioning in her new group.

As far as other gyms ours is a mess and I'd love to switch but we've searched around and it's just too far to travel to anything that would work well for us. I really wish there were more options near us
 
Your kids are still very young, I have taught thousands of kids over the years and quite often a kid can struggle when they are little and as they get older it just clicks. I have seen kids compete successfully at a national level and above in sports who could barely walk in a straight line when they were 5-7.

Gymnastics is a fabulous sport for kids at their age. It develops incredible coordination, strength, balance, flexibility, work ethic, confidence, goal setting skills and passion. It will stand them in good stead to pick up any sport or activity as they get older and excel at it. Just because they don't seem to be excelling now doesn't mean all this hard work is being wasted.

Besides if they love the sport it's certainly not a waste.

It teaches incredible life skills to do something that isn't taht easy for you and to have to work hard to achieve it. Kids who are naturally talented often give up when it gets hard but kids who have to work hard at it from the beginning łearn the rewards of hard work early on.
 
Your kids are still very young, I have taught thousands of kids over the years and quite often a kid can struggle when they are little and as they get older it just clicks. I have seen kids compete successfully at a national level and above in sports who could barely walk in a straight line when they were 5-7.

Gymnastics is a fabulous sport for kids at their age. It develops incredible coordination, strength, balance, flexibility, work ethic, confidence, goal setting skills and passion. It will stand them in good stead to pick up any sport or activity as they get older and excel at it. Just because they don't seem to be excelling now doesn't mean all this hard work is being wasted.

Besides if they love the sport it's certainly not a waste.

It teaches incredible life skills to do something that isn't taht easy for you and to have to work hard to achieve it. Kids who are naturally talented often give up when it gets hard but kids who have to work hard at it from the beginning łearn the rewards of hard work early on.


Thanks Aussiecoach -this is really well put and does help keep things in perspective and see the positive. And of course I remind myself that we are in it for the fun of it and the lessons that they might learn from it -such as work ethic and others you mention as well as coordination, etc. We certainly don't have any big gymnastics dreams (well they might, but I don't!) so it really doesn't matter if they progress at their own slow pace.

Yet it is still hard to watch ODD be joined by YDD's friends (which will happen now that DD isn't advancing) and YDD not able to join her friends on pre team -they literally all left her class and she's really sad without them :(.
 
DD has pretty much always been the bottom of the pack on her team. But guess what -- the team where she owns the basement now is the L8 team. She is doing and learning things that only a tiny percentage of the people in the world will ever achieve. As long as they're happy doing gymnastics, it's all good. If they go onto the team and continue to progress, they are all headed in the same direction at different rates, and could well wind up in the same place.
 
She is doing and learning things that only a tiny percentage of the people in the world will ever achieve.

I talk about this anytime my DD or any friends or their parents get discouraged about their performance in the gym. These kids are essentially learning to fly. Having the bravery and work ethic to do it is an accomplishment in itself. Love it!!
 
Thanks Aussiecoach -this is really well put and does help keep things in perspective and see the positive. And of course I remind myself that we are in it for the fun of it and the lessons that they might learn from it -such as work ethic and others you mention as well as coordination, etc. We certainly don't have any big gymnastics dreams (well they might, but I don't!) so it really doesn't matter if they progress at their own slow pace.

Yet it is still hard to watch ODD be joined by YDD's friends (which will happen now that DD isn't advancing) and YDD not able to join her friends on pre team -they literally all left her class and she's really sad without them :(.

I'm with those suggesting checking out other gyms, if that's an option. Just take them for evaluation and see where they would place them. Maybe their current coaches are right, and they are just not ready, then they'll tell you the same in other gyms. But maybe your current gym is just too picky? Now they are telling you ODD needs another year on pre-team. Next year they might tell you she is too old to join JO team, and will place her in Xcel or something. Do you know how their team is doing? Are they very competitive?
It's the end or almost end of the season in most regions, and the new season doesn't begin until at least August. Seems to me a little too soon to be sure that she won't be able to compete next season. Can you tell us what skills she has now? How many hours do they train on pre-team?
They might be still young, but that doesn't mean they have to waste another year in a program that doesn't want them or doesn't believe in them.
 
Well, they are 5 & 7, that is young. My dd is 7 on L4 BUT I don't believe that is normal, definitely not at our gym. We had good friends who were paying for privates when her dd was in rec. Her mom wanted her on preteam really bad but the girl enjoyed it and loved coming, but just didn't have the strength. She couldn't even pull herself up on bars even without the coach assisting. Now, I really think part of the issue was that her mom compared her to my dd since they were good friends & I guess she felt since she's 1 1/2 years older, she should have been equal but each child peaks at different times. Anyway, at our gym, they wouldn't move her to preteam. The mom got angry & left. That was last year. Turns out, it was the BEST THING EVER! She's on L2 now rocking out first places all over the place!! So, I'm saying, check into different programs. I strongly believe though if she had stayed at our gym, it would have been the same timing, I just think they all figure it out & begin really "getting it" at different times. Her future in gym is wide open. Wish they had stayed but maybe the change helped her progress. But also, we're pretty lucky to have 3 really good gyms within 10 minutes of us. I hope you have other choices!
 
Perfect! You can be proud that are showing determination and dedication beyond their years. It is not necessarily a bad thing to deal with adversity.

They are both young:



I adore this video and have watched it with my daughter several times over the past year or so. She identifies with the gymnast in the video as a little girl and is determined to be the one who never quits.

To OP, I understand how difficult it is to watch your child be denied the training she needs in order to prove that she is capable. I don't understand why some gyms turn away kids and families who are clearly 100% committed to the team track and willing to put in the time, effort, and money that is required--these families would make the best customers! We recently moved from a gym where my daughter was strung along for years to a gym where she is truly wanted and her work ethic is valued, and the difference is phenomenal. The kids behave themselves much better during practice because they all want to be there, and seem to progress more quickly. If there is any way you can make the commute work, I would encourage you to have your girls evaluated at some other gyms. If they are working hard with the goal of making team, they deserve to get the hours and coaching they need in order to progress towards that goal.
 
I just wanted to say that I have 2 daughters as well that compete.
I love that my daughters are in love with this sport,
they are learning way more than just gymnastics.
(Although I often wonder if the younger is not just following what her sister has always done..)
They have great coaches that inspire them every day.
It is a giant commitment for our family, but if they both decided to quit tomorrow I know in my heart
that every minute they spent in the gym taught them something.
It can't hurt to take a look around and see if there another place out there...
 
First thing is that both of your daughter have a love and passion for the sport. From what I am getting they both put a lot of effort into every practice when they are there. You answered the other question regarding them struggling with some skills and strength, so my next and final question would be are they focused and attentive during training?
I had a very experienced and knowledgeable coach tell a group of us (moms) one day that what most high level coaches look for in a good gymnast is:
#1 (he points to his head) the ability to focus, stay on task, and make corrections when they are given by the coach.
#2 (he points to his heart) the ability to have the love and passion for the sport.
#3 (he made a circle in the air with both hands) to have a natural born ability is a plus BUT because those athletes are so few and
far between, to be able to put 100% into the sport. Try your hardest every time your at practice and if your struggling which
most gymnasts will experience at some point in their careers treat it as you would school, do homework. If your lacking upper
Body strength buy one of those pull up bars that hooks onto the doorframe and do pull ups, leg lifts, chin ups. If your lacking
Flexibility stretch at home, then start doing over splits. If you are struggling on bars and your core is weak try a few awesome
YouTube gymnastics core workouts ( core workout to Beyoncé) or (Uptown Abs workout at Gymnastics Gym Club) both of
Those can easily be found on YouTube.
Most clubs get limited time in the gym so building strength "safely" must happen on a gymnasts own time if they want to excel. I know some won't agree with me but these are easy things that can help with strength and conditioning outside of the gym. Good luck. Sounds to me you have 2 little girls with a lot of love for this sport, I hope they go on to do big things.
 
Thanks for all of the encouragement! This helps a lot :).

I would love to hear what you all think as far as skills and if it does sound possible for her to compete in the Fall. 1st meet if Sept. She isn't getting vertical on beam handstand but I can see it's getting there. She needs a spot for beam dismount -again I think she will have it soon. She has all floor skills minus BHS. She has a good pullover and BHC on bars. She has not even worked the other bar skills. She does BHS with a spot (not connected to RO).

I wasn't surprised that she's not competing this Fall but was surprised to see that she's one of only a couple who will be joining with the lower pre team group. She has far more skills than these girls and I see her more with the ones who will be moving on to team. I would so much rather see her pushed ahead than not challenged as much in a lower group. I know she is missing a lot of skills for team. I should also mention that she hasn't had a chance to work on these skills -she has been in pre team only a few months. Her new group will actually be practicing fewer hours than her current group. Do you think a different gym might put her on team for the Fall? There aren't a ton of gyms in my area unfortunately. Ours is one of the less competitive -not known to do very well at meets unfortunately.
 

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