Parents ADHD or Just Naughty

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I realise that this is not the place to come for "medical advice" but I have been having concerns about my youngest dd's behaviour. I am hoping that those with children who have ADHD can give me some advice, I am unsure wether to go the the doctor or wether it will be a waste of time.

Background:
As a baby my dd never settled at night, always was a crier (screamer) and never smiled at strangers, as she she got a little older she used to hate certain situations and whilst on holiday she used to scream so much in the restaurant I had to leave. Fast forward to now she has always been "naughty" at home, these are things I have noticed:

Cannot sit still very long unless in the right mood
Always butts into conversations (interrupts a lot)
Always shouts when she to talks (hearing is fine)
She rubs my arms and kisses my arms or head even when asked to stop
Never accepts responsibility for what she has done wrong, says it is not her fault.
Has periods when she gets over excited
Very flighty
Fidgety
Talks a lot, even to herself (cannot seem to keep quiet)
She is always moving around (could be the gymnast in her)
Has a quick temper and anything can set her off
She guesses some answers to questions (her words, she says she doesn't know and she guesses even though she gets it right)

I have always put these things down to being "a child" but as she is getting older it is not getting better, what annoys me is she is well behaved at school and is top of the class and is on the gifted and talented register for Reading Writing and Maths, she is also well behaved at gym except I have noticed that she looks like she is cream in some of the time and is not "with it", the coach has never mentioned that dd has any issues on gym. Because of her behaviour at school and gym I have always brushed dd's behaviour off as strong willed and naughty.
 
My gut feeling would be that if she can be well behaved and achieving at school and at gym she doesn't have ADHD. She just wouldn't be able to suppress her behaviour at 7 in those situations long term. I am sure someone with an ADHD child would know more though.

Her excess energy is brilliant for gymnastics and gives her an outlet. Her busy mind is obviously challenged and supported at school. So things are pretty great for her right now.

Lots of the things you mention are traits shown by children in Primary School both with and without various disorders. I can see where you are coming from. But it could equally just be part of her personality - how she expresses herself at home once her 'best behaviour in public' persona is put away. It is very common at school to have parents say their children are a nightmare at home when in school they are well behaved. I always put it down to the outlet of stress of behaving so well in school.

Some children also respond really well to clear rules in situations about how to act and what to do (narrow or no choice of activity). So maybe she knows exactly what is expected at school and gym but struggles at home because of the wide choice of activities to do (eg shall I read, watch Tv, play dress up, draw, play with cat etc etc). Maybe the home environment is overstimulating her and she finds it hard to unwind? I am just guessing at stuff here. It does sound like she is showing many traits of impulsive behaviour. I think there are things you could do to help her with this but you would need to seek advice about what to try.

Yoga is brilliant for children to help them unwind and find stillness if you can find a good teacher and build some practice into your day.

If you are really concerned and home life is a struggle then really you need to go to your GP.
 
If there are only issues at home and not at school or gym then she doesn't fulfill the criteria for ADHD. For ADHD to be diagnosed then the problems must be present in multiple settings.

School in particular is where ADHD will show up. School is where they have to sit still, concentrate, follow instructions and fit in for hours on end.
 
I have been putting her behaviour down to naughtiness and not ADHD or anything like that, my dd is now 8 and is not getting better, it seems if she is getting worse. I understand she needs to be herself at home and I am happy she behaves at school and gym. I sometimes wonder if is me as we do clash a lot. I think that the way I am with her needs to change and need to be more firmer with her. I will keep a eye on her and see how it goes.

Last night dd had a meltdown because I didn't do her tea the "right way", she had a diva strop and ended up in her bedroom. One thing I don't understand is her inability to believe anything is her fault and she cannot bring herself to say she is sorry to me or even say please & thank you (if she claims she has already said it and I didn't hear her), she can be well mannered at school.
 
Sounds like she is a perfectionist who doesn't like to fail or get things wrong. They can have issues with saying sorry (because this means admitting they got something wrong).

I wouldn't necessarily get firmer with her. But it might help to be clearer with her. Pick your battles carefully, decide which issues are really important and which really don't matter in the big scheme. Pick 5 things and discuss them with her. Write a list , put on wall. Big tick every time she does it. 10 ticks a treat. Praise is key with a 7 year old.
 
I have always put these things down to being "a child" but as she is getting older it is not getting better, what annoys me is she is well behaved at school and is top of the class and is on the gifted and talented register for Reading Writing and Maths, she is also well behaved at gym except I have noticed that she looks like she is cream in some of the time and is not "with it", the coach has never mentioned that dd has any issues on gym. Because of her behaviour at school and gym I have always brushed dd's behaviour off as strong willed and naughty.
I would not call her naughty, not with the behaviors listed here. As far as I know, and ADHD diagnosis involves seeing the behavior in multiple environments. It strikes me that she's in the gifted program. Gifted kids are just different. One thing, sounds like she has some strong sensory needs ie touch and movement. Instead of being told to stop, she needs to be redirected to meet the need a different way.

Even the issues with her emotions and rigidity in how she wants things done connect to the giftedness. Do some research about gifted children.
 
I have been putting her behaviour down to naughtiness and not ADHD or anything like that, my dd is now 8 and is not getting better, it seems if she is getting worse. I understand she needs to be herself at home and I am happy she behaves at school and gym. I sometimes wonder if is me as we do clash a lot. I think that the way I am with her needs to change and need to be more firmer with her. I will keep a eye on her and see how it goes.

Last night dd had a meltdown because I didn't do her tea the "right way", she had a diva strop and ended up in her bedroom. One thing I don't understand is her inability to believe anything is her fault and she cannot bring herself to say she is sorry to me or even say please & thank you (if she claims she has already said it and I didn't hear her), she can be well mannered at school.

haha wait till she is a teenager!!!
Add in the hormonal tears, sarcasm, door slams and you have wrecked my life and you have the teenage years down pat.
 
Okay, I have a gymnast daughter like yours. She's a perfect angel at school, gifted classes and rule follower. She's the same at gym. She is a complete perfectionist and is stubborn, head strong and as a child, the screaming in restaurants or public, ugh!! She's definitely not ADHD. As a toddler, if I wasn't doing what she wanted she would grab my cheeks and try to claw me or try to bite or slap me. She was disciplined. When I discussed it with the pediatrician, he said it was very common for a child to do this to the person she felt closest to & that she knew would still love her (she only did it to me but I'm a stay at home mom & always with her). So, she did grow out of that. She is disciplined for her attitude or the things you listed at home. And with her, sometimes it's because she's tired or hungry or just bored. I hate to say, this is just her personality.

Also, I do have an ADHD son. He's on medicine now but when he wasn't, he could read a book but never remember one word he read. He couldn't follow directions for work at school. Each year, we have had to meet with all of his teachers because of this. He has difficulty with change, so new rules are hard. Homework is a nightmare with crying. As long as he's on medicine, he can read and recall what he read. He's very smart and scores high on tests, only with medicine. He's distracted by anything when not on medicine. I mean, when doing homework or reading, there has to be total silence (even on medicine). So, I'm saying, I don't think your child has ADHD.

I do understand where you're coming from though. It does get better!

I
 
My 7 year old has adhd. She was born very intense, didn't sleep, was irritable, etc. she is very active, high sensory seeking, cannot stop talking, impulsive, etc.
these behaviors are present everywhere though. At home, at school, in the grocery store, at the gym...
A low dose of medication has worked wonders for her focus and impulse control.
 
I could have written this myself a year ago! My 7 year old has adhd. He was never in trouble at school! However, teachers made comments about how he was all boy and very busy all the time. He had trouble keeping his hands to himself and keeping his attention on one thing. At home he doesn't get in much trouble either. He is very talkative (sometimes at the wrong time), busy, and impulsive. He is now homeschooled so I spend lots of time observing behavior.
When we originally went to see a doctor I felt like you... Unsure if he was naughty or adhd! If it's something he enjoys Legos, mine craft, taekwondo etc he has no trouble paying attention! He actually gets super focused if it's something he loves! This is completely normal for an adhd child! We are on a low dose medicine now and it's made a world of difference! He has all these impulses under control. I would consider seeing a doctor just to be sure. Also adhd kids can still be gifted and do well in school, during my sons testing he scored in high school range for mathematics and he was 7! :)
 
Oh my goodness, she is probably neither "naughty" or "ADHD" she is just a different kid with a different personality which most likely needs different rules and boundaries set for her as an individual. I don't understand why people always want to jump to bad kid or ADHD when a child doesn't act just so. That is why kids in this country are so over medicated and so entitled and so undisciplined. (Not saying your daughter is, just saying the thinking causes this)
 
My gut feeling would be that if she can be well behaved and achieving at school and at gym she doesn't have ADHD.

Agreed with the above...the behaviors have to be everywhere for it to be ADHD. I have an ADHD/gifted child. She has always been difficult and when she didn't grow out of these behaviors we went for an evaluation. I noticed her behaviors everywhere; in school, at home, in ballet, in gymnastics....she would be the only child on the team rolling around on the floor when the coaches were talking, not paying attention. We also heard in school she had problems not talking/interruping and impulse control issues. However becuase she is gifted she gets straingt As without even trying. So good grades does not always mean no ADHD. She was dx at 8 years old and now at 10 she still has issues even on medication, although it's much better now.

What you describe may be excess energy from being smart. :) Please read the Emotinal Intensity of Gifted Students.

http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intensity-Gifted-Students-Explosive-ebook/dp/B008XKBHRO
 
I agree with previous poster. Do some research on traits of gifted and talented students, you might recognize some things. G&T kids aren't just bright kids, they are usually intellectually well beyond their peers.... way above grade level, etc. That often comes with some interesting social and emotional challenges. The first step is understanding them. There are some great support groups at both state and national levels that have articles about parenting G&T students (and some of the challenges). The good news is, you don't have to spend hours on end with her working on math homework. The bad news is, you might have to spend an hour talking to her about not quitting her band instrument after one month because she can't play perfectly yet and two kids are doing better than her.
 
I have a child with ADHD and I can see a lot of similar behaviours BUT; the fact that she is behaving perfectly at school and Gym, may mean she is not. Many highly intelligent kids act up in a similar fashion. They become impatient, are energetic, interrupt alot and can be downright tyrants.

For my situation, my child is gifted with ADHD which means the trouble showed up mostly at school where sitting still and listening for an hour was very difficult.

There is a girl in our gym class that I suspect is very ADHD. She is very excitable, talkative, laughs and cries right away, runs around like crazy......when Mom is present, she behaves WAY WORSE than when Mom is not there. The Mom is in denial with her behaviour so she will back up her daughter no matter how badly the girls behaves. I suspect she behaves fine in school too and gets excellent grades......

With my ADDer, when the behaviour gets bad, i must tighten my discipline up....I must be more regimented, and less reactive...the behaviour improves when I do this....really this work with all my kids. I have to be sort of like a drill sergeant without being mean.
 
I agree with other posters who suggested researching gifted kids. Also, it sounds like she may have some sensory issues. Her rubbing your arm, talking very loudly, etc. may suggest that she is seeking this extra stimulation in order to function optimally. Gymnastics is one of many things that can provide this extra sensory input that she may require.
 
We are currently in the testing phase for my DD. We return to the doctor later this week for either a diagnosis or special pills for mommy. :)

It really is an all over the place thing. My DD exhibits several of the traits you mentioned. But I see problems everywhere.

At home: messy, can't stay on a task unless I chunk it into very small pieces, never accepts blame/responsibility, mentally drifts when I'm talking to her, can't never keep track of her belongings.

At school: makes careless mistakes, easily distracted by anything (EVERYTHING), messy, talks to much, struggles socially with peers, loses her homework and her pencils and her lunch box and her coat.

At gym: misses a lot of instruction because she's watching everything else going on, can only focus on one thing at a time so she can focus on choreography, but not form too or she can focus on straight arms and legs, but not head and toes as well, can't remember what she is supposed to do from station to station.

It's easy to not put it all together until someone leads the horse to water! I made excuses for the home stuff by saying she is just a strong willed child. I made excuses for falling behind in school because of common core. I made excuses for the gym because she is so much younger/immature than her training group.

It was actually her coach who gently brought up the possibility because she has a child with ADHD who was also a gymnast and felt like DD was exhibiting very similar traits as her child. Even still, it took me another 6 months of processing and considering the possibility. It was really hard for me to accept the possibility that my child might have ADHD. I'm going to be very anxious all week until we go to the appointment and get some answers.
 
spend an hour talking to her about not quitting her band instrument after one month because she can't play perfectly yet and two kids are doing better than her.

You must live in my house :)

I must be more regimented, and less reactive

Same with us...if you give her an inch she will take a mile...I can't give in to anything

struggles socially with peers

Yep here too...this is very hard on her especially since she is 10 and the mean girl stuff is starting...one good thing about this though is that she plays with boys mostly becuase she doesn't get the girl social stuff
 
As someone who has ADHD, and an anxiety disorder. I would say borderline ADHD, but probably has social anxiety. It would make sense that she is able to behave and concentrated at school, this is called hyper focusing, or it could be social anxiety and she is comfortable at school and gym. Other unfamiliar situations make cause her to act out due to the unknown.
 
sounds like a normal bright child to me.

Mine drive me nuts most of the time but they are full of personality.

I learned many years ago not to sweat the small stuff, house is never tidy, always running round after them trying to get them ready to go to school / gym/ rugby / tennis, there is lots of shouting to get stuff done and sometimes my best laid plans are thwarted, but they are loving, caring and generally a pleasure to have.
 

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