Parents Advice for 5 y/o gymmie

[flipnastic]

So, here we are in our first preteam class (level 2)...since may. Last week, hours increased from 2->3 hrs, twice a week. First day, she tells me "I want to go 4!" Next two days, she gets in the car bummed, telling me she cried at gym and her friends were looking at her (first incident, it was because her teacher stretched her really hard and it hurt...I know this is part of it, but up until now, she has smiled her way through it..said this was a different coach that stretched her harder. (I have mixed feelings at 5 and would love input!) next practice, she was the only one who couldn't do her press handstand (I told her all the girls have spent the past year practicing these...and really,she's so young! Press handstands are so hard to learn!...oh, she finally got it last night though, as well as a beautifuk backhandspring on tramp, and was glowing!)
Yesterday, I watched practice to see what was happening. The girls were learning floor routines, and my dd was having a hard time with arm placement and some coordination things (pivot turns mostly) but, they were moving pretty fast and like me, she takes a little longer to get things, but once she does get it,she's "got it." She started crying, backing away from the class, and sort of shutting down...it was hard for me to watch.
After snack, she goes tramp, learns her back handspring, and it was beautiful. I picked her up, and asked how was practice. "I had a hard time with my floor routine but the teacher said I was doing it good. I did my back handspring all by myself!!!" She hopped and skipped out of the gym, comes home, and that night randomly pops into her press handstand for the first time.

My husband asked her last night if she likes her gymnastics class and she said "I loooove it! This much!" (Arms behind her back) She's obviously doing really well, and really loves it...she is the youngest in her class (by a year or so, I'm pretty sure) all of the other girls have known each other for a year or more, and she's very very shy. I KNOW she loves the sport, and I know not every day will be easy..but I'm wondering if I should:
1 approach it a certain way as a parent to help her understand that hard times help you become stronger (my approach so far, but not sure it's working?) maybe another parenting approach is best?
2: consider a rec class for another year or so...maybe she's needs a little more maturing? I don't want her to end up hating the sport because its too much for her right now.
3: any other thoughts/advice/experience welcome...

 

[bogwoppit]

Gymnastics is like that, ups and downs are constant. It continues like that all the way until they stop doing it. Good days, bad days, sad days and happy days.

Sounds like the coach has a good handle on her, that is really a great thing.

 

[flipnastic]

Gymnastics is like that, ups and downs are constant. It continues like that all the way until they stop doing it. Good days, bad days, sad days and happy days.

Sounds like the coach has a good handle on her, that is really a great thing.

Ok...this is what I was hoping someone would say!!!! Thanks! Lol!

 

[Serenity28]

Practice for 6 hours a week for a 5 year old is a lot

 

[flipnastic]

I p

Practice for 6 hours a week for a 5 year old is a lot

osted a thread a little while back about 6 hours during the summer and it seemed like it was pretty normal...(i wasnt thrilled about it at all when i first realized the increase for summer.) The 4 hours was perfect for her..maybe the six hours is wearing her out?

 

[wandrewsjr]

Let the coach worry about her behavior in class. Sounds like the coach thinks she is doing fine. You can keep in eye on her behavior outside of class to see if it might be too much for her. Occasional tears of frustration are perfectly normal and the best thing you can do as a parent is to treat it as such, not make a big deal about it.

 

[thefellowsmom]

Bog is so right. My level 9 still comes home with a hundred different emotions, new skill excitement, tears of frustration in and out of gym and even struggles with a hand placement now and again. And now there is pain and school work and pressure and best of all sisterhood.

These are totally normal gymnastics emotions. This is also a new class for your dd. The other kids are older and have been in the class longer. She will make friends and catch up in time and a few weeks/months from now probably fit in perfectly.

We just went through a huge transition and change is just a bit hard and. Awkward for both the new kids and the old. A month in, things are settling down, but dd still doesn't quite feel herself, but it will come. I just try to tell her to take one turn/rotation/day at a time and to be in the moment.

Your messaging to her will make all the difference. Struggle makes you stronger, gymnastics is supposed to be hard. Gymnastics is the hardest sport in the world, being talented at it makes you special. Most kids could never do it. Your doing great, just keep doing your thing. Try your best each turn, that is all you can expect of yourself. I love you and believe in you.

My biggest advice for you and that you can help instill in her is to focus on her and only her and her progress. All anyone can ask is that she go In and work hard, try her best and have a good attitude. What other kids are doing or how far along they are is irrelevant to your dd.

She is only five and this is a lot right now, but she sounds talented and starting to establish this language and thinking early will only help her down the road to be strong and enjoy the whole gamut of the process more.

It is hard to watch our kids struggle and have fear and pain and heartache, but these things are the things that make them strong and the life lessons they will take with them forever. If she is saying that she loves it "this" much and her coach thinks she is doing well and she can't wait to go again, then you are all good. Just keep hugging on her. She will be fine.

Now, if she starts having a harder time with the hours, like change in temperament, school troubles, tantrums or really not wanting to go to practice, that would be when I would start talking with the coach about maybe it is a little much and what options do we have. I wouldn't go back to rec, but that's just me.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

All anyone can ask is that she go In and work hard, try her best and have a good attitude. What other kids are doing or how far along they are is irrelevant to your dd.

Two great points here: My husband (Puma lol) coaches another sport and he always tells his athletes that the only things you can control are attitude and effort. And it really is all about each individual's own journey. You cannot worry about what others do. It sounds like you're doing a great job. One thing I have learned here is that when things are "bad" (because like @bogwoppit said, it is a rollercoaster of good and bad!) the less I talk about gym, the better. I let her bring up what she wants when she wants, and if the conversation gets too negative, I change the subject. Things always get better. Then we can talk about gym a lot!!! (someone remind me of this next time I'm freaking out...lol) Good luck!!!

 

[flipnastic]

Bog is so right. My level 9 still comes home with a hundred different emotions, new skill excitement, tears of frustration in and out of gym and even struggles with a hand placement now and again. And now there is pain and school work and pressure and best of all sisterhood.

These are totally normal gymnastics emotions. This is also a new class for your dd. The other kids are older and have been in the class longer. She will make friends and catch up in time and a few weeks/months from now probably fit in perfectly.

We just went through a huge transition and change is just a bit hard and. Awkward for both the new kids and the old. A month in, things are settling down, but dd still doesn't quite feel herself, but it will come. I just try to tell her to take one turn/rotation/day at a time and to be in the moment.

Your messaging to her will make all the difference. Struggle makes you stronger, gymnastics is supposed to be hard. Gymnastics is the hardest sport in the world, being talented at it makes you special. Most kids could never do it. Your doing great, just keep doing your thing. Try your best each turn, that is all you can expect of yourself. I love you and believe in you.

My biggest advice for you and that you can help instill in her is to focus on her and only her and her progress. All anyone can ask is that she go In and work hard, try her best and have a good attitude. What other kids are doing or how far along they are is irrelevant to your dd.

She is only five and this is a lot right now, but she sounds talented and starting to establish this language and thinking early will only help her down the road to be strong and enjoy the whole gamut of the process more.

It is hard to watch our kids struggle and have fear and pain and heartache, but these things are the things that make them strong and the life lessons they will take with them forever. If she is saying that she loves it "this" much and her coach thinks she is doing well and she can't wait to go again, then you are all good. Just keep hugging on her. She will be fine.

Now, if she starts having a harder time with the hours, like change in temperament, school troubles, tantrums or really not wanting to go to practice, that would be when I would start talking with the coach about maybe it is a little much and what options do we have. I wouldn't go back to rec, but that's just me.

Bog is so right. My level 9 still comes home with a hundred different emotions, new skill excitement, tears of frustration in and out of gym and even struggles with a hand placement now and again. And now there is pain and school work and pressure and best of all sisterhood.

These are totally normal gymnastics emotions. This is also a new class for your dd. The other kids are older and have been in the class longer. She will make friends and catch up in time and a few weeks/months from now probably fit in perfectly.

We just went through a huge transition and change is just a bit hard and. Awkward for both the new kids and the old. A month in, things are settling down, but dd still doesn't quite feel herself, but it will come. I just try to tell her to take one turn/rotation/day at a time and to be in the moment.

Your messaging to her will make all the difference. Struggle makes you stronger, gymnastics is supposed to be hard. Gymnastics is the hardest sport in the world, being talented at it makes you special. Most kids could never do it. Your doing great, just keep doing your thing. Try your best each turn, that is all you can expect of yourself. I love you and believe in you.

My biggest advice for you and that you can help instill in her is to focus on her and only her and her progress. All anyone can ask is that she go In and work hard, try her best and have a good attitude. What other kids are doing or how far along they are is irrelevant to your dd.

She is only five and this is a lot right now, but she sounds talented and starting to establish this language and thinking early will only help her down the road to be strong and enjoy the whole gamut of the process more.

It is hard to watch our kids struggle and have fear and pain and heartache, but these things are the things that make them strong and the life lessons they will take with them forever. If she is saying that she loves it "this" much and her coach thinks she is doing well and she can't wait to go again, then you are all good. Just keep hugging on her. She will be fine.

Now, if she starts having a harder time with the hours, like change in temperament, school troubles, tantrums or really not wanting to go to practice, that would be when I would start talking with the coach about maybe it is a little much and what options do we have. I wouldn't go back to rec, but that's just me.

Thank you thank you thank you!!!! Excellent perspective!!

 

[cadybearsmommy]

I think it sounds like she is doing great. There will always be ups and downs as long as she is in gymnastics. Good days and bad days. As long as the good days outnumber the bad, and they still love the sport, I think that means they are in the right program for them. If that ever changes and she starts to have more bad days than good, it might be time to do some reevaluating.

I wouldn't stress that she is having trouble with perfecting some of the newer skills right away, as she is so young, and like you said one of the youngest and newest to the pre team. If she has a back handspring and press handstand at 5 she is doing remarkably well. It can take up to age 7-8 or even later for them to really start grasping the small details like arm placement and such. She will get it.

I would probably sit back and let her and the coach handle it for now. It sounds like the coach is doing a great job of keeping her interested and having fun which is so important at her age. The only way I would say something is if she continues to be stretched out in a way that is painful. A little bit of pain when stretching is normal but if it happens regularly or you think they are pushing her too far, it might be time to just politely inquire about it especially since your dd is so young and may not feel comfortable speaking up to the coach. Building that flexibility is important but it's a slow process that you gradually have to build on and can lead to minor injuries if you do too much too fast. I'm sure your coach knows what she is doing but if could be that your dd has a super tight muscle somewhere that may need more time to get fully stretched out than normal, my dd's hamstrings are like that and it has taken a while for her to achieve good flexibility in that area.

 

[flipnastic]

I think it sounds like she is doing great. There will always be ups and downs as long as she is in gymnastics. Good days and bad days. As long as the good days outnumber the bad, and they still love the sport, I think that means they are in the right program for them. If that ever changes and she starts to have more bad days than good, it might be time to do some reevaluating.

I wouldn't stress that she is having trouble with perfecting some of the newer skills right away, as she is so young, and like you said one of the youngest and newest to the pre team. If she has a back handspring and press handstand at 5 she is doing remarkably well. It can take up to age 7-8 or even later for them to really start grasping the small details like arm placement and such. She will get it.

I would probably sit back and let her and the coach handle it for now. It sounds like the coach is doing a great job of keeping her interested and having fun which is so important at her age. The only way I would say something is if she continues to be stretched out in a way that is painful. A little bit of pain when stretching is normal but if it happens regularly or you think they are pushing her too far, it might be time to just politely inquire about it especially since your dd is so young and may not feel comfortable speaking up to the coach. Building that flexibility is important but it's a slow process that you gradually have to build on and can lead to minor injuries if you do too much too fast. I'm sure your coach knows what she is doing but if could be that your dd has a super tight muscle somewhere that may need more time to get fully stretched out than normal, my dd's hamstrings are like that and it has taken a while for her to achieve good flexibility in that area.

Yes, I agree with the stretching part..she is one if the more flexible girls on her team..she has all of her splits..there is a coach that has been filling in that makes her cry. The head coach does not, and never has made her cry...in fact, my dd actually enjoys when her head coach stretches her (yes, weird..lol! I think that her way of dealing with the pain) I'm definately going to keep an eye on that part...the pediatric physical therapist in me cringed when she told me this...

 

[GymDad9.9]

Acclimation and familiarization to increased training for a 5 year old is inherently difficult. I'm sure she'll adapt well sooner than you think.

 

[l.c.o]

3-hr practices at that age are SO VERY LONG! My son tried team in first grade 2x3hrs a week like your DD and NOPE. It was sooo too much for him that he took a nine month break, then restarted in rec at a different gym where his hours built more slowly and he just competed his first season (while training 6-7 hrs over 3 days).

That said, all kids are different (and girls do tend to mature more quickly in general), and you have to work within the constraints of the program. It's possible that my DS would have adapted fine, and had he not specifically asked to be completely done, I probably would have encouraged him to push through a bit.

But overall, I agree with others that YES, this sports has ups and downs, often even during the same practice or rotation. Some days they come home with big grins, some days tears! As my 12 year old DD just texted me from camp last night "OMG I'm so tired. Gymnastics is a lot of work!". And like another person mentioned, definitely leave any behavior corrections to coaches while she's being coached. I've had a couple chats with my kids over the years about gym behavior I don't like, but I do it at home as a reminder of proper behavior in general.

My only relative concern is the pushing in splits - and I know some programs tend to do it or NOT do it. My DS cries when pushed in splits, too! He hates it, and I hate it when they do it.

 

[sce]

I picked her up, and asked how was practice. "I had a hard time with my floor routine but the teacher said I was doing it good. I did my back handspring all by myself!!!" She hopped and skipped out of the gym, comes home, and that night randomly pops into her press handstand for the first time.

This is quite mature for a 5yo to feel and say. Wow! Honestly, if she loves gymnastics and understands that it's not all easy and fun then let her continue where she is. I feel that my kids are learning more from the hard parts than anything else. It's hard to watch them go through stuff but seeing them come out the other side stronger and more confident is so amazing.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I don't know when my kid got her press handstand but it wasn't 5, she doesn't remember either. Not before 7 though.

 

[CuriousCate]

My kiddo was also practicing 6 1/2 hours at age 5 level 2. She had not even started kindergarten yet and it was a lot! My hubby and I decided to ask to put her back to pre-team level which is 4 hours a week and the coaches discouraged it. When we asked out DD if she wanted to go back to her old group she immediately said "NO! Why would I do that?!?" and so there it was! She was the youngest kid and struggled (still does - still the youngest at level 3) emotionally and with regads to maturity but she hung in there! I bet if you ask your DD if she wants to go back, she'll give you the best answer for herself.

 

[lovemygymnast]

This really does depend on the child and I agree with doodlebug, if you ask her, she'll tell you. My dd was 4 1/2 when she was moved to train old 3 (now 2). She wanted it so bad that she pushed to get every skill. She did have her pressed handstand at this age too.We did ask her and the answer from her was there was no way anybody was going to move her back to preteam. She ended up on the podium every meet against girls at least 1 year older than her. So, if it had been up to us parents, we probably would have said to stay back in preteam another year but she was having none of it. She's training 6/7 at age 8 now and still the youngest on her level every year. I will say, my dd never cried though, she's a stoic kid at gym and has been from day 1, if she cries, she's hurt really bad! So, if she cried, I might have 2nd guessed it, but I'm sure she'll be fine. Her coaches are used to this, I'm sure. It really does depend on the kid and not necessarily the age though about whether they are ready for team or not. As far as gymnastics discussion? I let mine lead but I do ask if she had a fun practice. If she wants to tell me anything, she does, if it was bad, she generally says yes & moves on to another subject. It sounds like she's off to great start though!

 

[flipnastic]

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and input! She has really gotten so much better. There are still some days where she cries, but they are few and far between. One thing I am learning about her is that she really seems to put a lot of pressure on herself… especially when the other girl are able to pick up on things faster than her. So, we are really working on talking through this… it blows my mind that a five year old can do that! But, she reacted the same way in pre-K when she was learning letter blends and spelling short words... She is the youngest in her class and all of the other girls have gone through kindergarten already, so I really think maturity has a lot to do with it. But, he has had a lot of really good practices were for teachers have told me how amazing she is doing, and I have asked her a few times if she wants to try a different sport for decrease hours And she told me that no way! She wants to go every day and she refuses to try another sport because "gymnastics is the only one I love."

I also wonder how much has to do with some asthma medications she is on… we have been playing around a lot with her asthma medication in the past year and I know several of them have side effects of anxiety or roller coaster emotions, and I wonder since this is really her first experience with the type of structure and challenges that are required in a competitive class, if the side effects are "magnified" I know that is a different topic for a different time, but that is always on the back of my mind.

 

[scgymmom322]

I also wonder how much has to do with some asthma medications she is on… we have been playing around a lot with her asthma medication in the past year and I know several of them have side effects of anxiety or roller coaster emotions, and I wonder since this is really her first experience with the type of structure and challenges that are required in a competitive class, if the side effects are "magnified" I know that is a different topic for a different time, but that is always on the back of my mind.

My daughter's best friend had severe anxiety that her parents realized was caused by her asthma medications. She got to the point where she couldn't leave her parents at all without becoming completely hysterical. It was so sad to see. After changing her meds, she got increasingly better. She still has a tendency to become anxious, but not nearly to the level she was at on certain meds. I definitely think that is an area to explore if it continues!

 

[flipnastic]

My daughter's best friend had severe anxiety that her parents realized was caused by her asthma medications. She got to the point where she couldn't leave her parents at all without becoming completely hysterical. It was so sad to see. After changing her meds, she got increasingly better. She still has a tendency to become anxious, but not nearly to the level she was at on certain meds. I definitely think that is an area to explore if it continues!

Yikes!!!! That's so sad I'm glad they got it figured out though..unfortunately, I've heard a few similar incidences.