Parents advice needed

[Panda-girl's Mom]

How do you handle it when your daughter wants to try other activites besides gymnastics but does not want to give up gymnastics. Daughter will be training 4 days a week for aprox 13hours for level6 in fall. She has admitted she is getting bored with gym(she really does not like going in the summer). She signed up for volleyball which starts next week and she also wants to do cheer for her school I believe it is low key maybe 3 competitions a year. Volleyball is a short season only till October. So I am hoping it will some how work out but her dad says she should just concentrate on one thing and daughter asks me well if the practices are the same as gym could I just alternate. I think the level of comitment,the expense and the difficulty of gymnastics requires that you do not miss practice ecspecailly before meet season. At the same time I want her to be able to try other things and I want her to be happy. A lot of girls who have quit seem to have regrets and really miss it so I do not want to make her choose. I think she still really loves gym but wants to try other things and I quess going into her 4th year competing with only 2-3 weeks off a year could get tiresome for a kid. Do you just let her try out stuff but put gym 1st until she decides she is either done or wants to continue in gymnastics. It just seems like it would just be to difficult to take a break. Last year she did manage dance and track but dance was only 1 hour and the track coach was very lenient with her schedule plus her gymnastics coach was fine with that because they were both things that would help her gymnastics, unfortunately she no longer wants to dance.

 

[bogwoppit]

FOr us the gym commitment is huge as everything here involves at least a 90 min round trip. So if they do gym they cannot really do another organised sport. They are very active though.

I know I have some CB friends who live in cities with lots of options avaiable within a ten minute drive and their kids do lots of other activities. I wish I had more choices for my kids. Frankly I think they wouldn't even be doing gym if they had more to choose from. Youngest wants to cheer really badly, but no cheer within a two hour drive.

I would let her try something else even if it menas dropping one day a week of gym. SHe is getting older and they need to see what else is out there. Gym is not their life.

 

[MdGymMom01]

I know what you are experiencing Panda-girls Mom because I went through it and am going through it with my dd. We, fortunately live in an area where there are many different options available within a 10 or 15 minute drive. The fact that dd's gym is a lower level committment is also a big plus for us. Don't get me wrong--her league is still a committment and competitive (10 hrs a week of training, 6 meets a year, and a monthly tuition), but it still does allow her to do other things during the week. DD's ballet will be picking up this year (she is now training en pointe so she is required to do at least 3 technique classes a week), so I will still need to monitor her and see how she does with everything. She does realize that eventually she will probably have to choose between the two or at least cut down the training and committment in one of the activities.

I think it is important for kids to be able to try other things especially if the child is asking to try other things and saying that they are bored. I try to keep in mind that gymnastics is just one part of their life and should not be the end all be all of them.

Does your dd have any other options for gymnastics at her current gym that require fewer hours? If she is expressing an interest to try other things, then I would let her. She does need to understand that at some point her gym hours may need to be reduced. But, as she gets older, her interests and talents may change so why not support them? I totally agree with Bog in that gymnastics is not her life. It may be for some kids and that is fine, but if she is wanting to try other things--take her lead. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[michiganmum]

This is a really tough question since she will already be at gymnastics 4x per week- it doesn't leave a whole lot of time for much else! Looking at the big picture, if you think she can handle other activities on top of gymnastics, maybe you should let her try them this year. As she continues to progress with gymnastics and her hours increase even more, that opportunity will be gone. At some point, she will have to choose. And it would be pretty hard to accurately choose another activity over gymnastics if she's never done it before. I think she will be less likely to stick with gymnastics if the "what if" I would like such and such activity better is always in the back of her head. Perhaps she will end up choosing another activity over gymnastics in the future, or maybe allowing her to try these other things will get them out of her system. Good luck....it's always much easier to answer these types of questions for someone else's child than it is applying it to your own

 

[nettyinpa]

I say let her try other things. A big decision breaker for us would be the location of the other activities from the gym and from home. My dd's school is about 5 miles from home, the gym closer to 15. So, if she would want to do other things the timing and the drive time would have to be taken into consideration. We've tried really hard to get her to try other things, even if it meant missing just one night week of gym, and she won't do it! She loves gymnastics that much. I know another former gym mom whose dd wanted to try something else. She actually left the gym for a couple weeks, attended some practices for other sports but ended up back in the gym. But at least she can say she tried. How old is your dd? This probably won't be the last time this comes up, especially as she enters the higher grade levels.

Good luck!

 

[Blackie6]

How do we handle it? We run around like CraZy! We have three kids that do multiple activities. We are also very lucky that our twon offers alot of programs. We have rec programs (soccer, field hockey, basketball, camps, wrestling) that offer sports programs that cost about $35 for a season. These rec programs are a mish mosh of kids from all schools put into age appropriate groups that play against each other. The comittment is low and practices few but kids get a feel for a sport. We also have a community pool that offeres swima nd dive team. My DD does dive since it is only June/July and works well around gymnastics schedule in Summer. We did have a slight problem with softball this year. We missed a couple games that conflicted with a practice, but since we were in "off season" for gym we decided which practices to "cut" for softball. Missed a couple practices in a row at the end of season but DD had a blast! She even tried out for the 10U all star team and would have made it if there hadn't been so many older girls making cut off. I was scared we would be giving up gym for about 2 months with that, but she didn't make it. If she tried again next year I am still not sure how to do it, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. My sons also do multiple sprots. One is Soccer and baseball and wrestling, the other is band, drama and baseball.

The key is finding other parents in programs that can maybe help you with car pool or rides, if you have multiple kids like I do, and finding programs that are maybe "off season" or coaches are flexible. If you tell coach upfront what your DD's schedule is like I am sure they will be ok. Most "team" sports have full roster and telling coach ahead of time you won't be at a game will be fine if there are enough kids. Now cheer...in our town is a little "funny" as they (Pop Warner) don't seem to appreciate a gymnastics schedule. For them it is all them or nothing, they will not work around schedules and put up w/missed practices or games. However, maybe some of the school cheer teams are more flexible.

Our gymnastics schedule is getting harder as DD gets older. I just recently got our new season schedule for Fall and not too happy to see an increase in hours. We are 5 dyas/week now and almost 17 hrs. But, already my mind is churning on how to allow DD to continue with some things she loves. Our comp season is Sept-Jan so I did have to put the foot down on field hockey and we will re-evaluate after the season as to where she wants to go in the gym or sports outside gym. We run around like mad, but I know that at least she gets a breather from the gym once in awhile and satisfies her craving for other sports and meeting new faces!

I say let her try!

 

[cher062]

I think we all have faced this at some point espcially from grade 6 and beyond. They see their friends in all types of activities having that free time and think they are missing out on something. We have always had the rule i our house. School work comes above all else, if you're going to be a competitive gymnast then that comes next, and any other free days you have you can fit in any other activities if you want to.

My DD is a L7 (working towards L8) she is 4 days a week at the gym. In the summer they practice from 4 - 8:30 at night so she has all day to do other things. In the summer our school has what they call "create a camp" and basicly its various workshops from 8am - 2pm. that last about an hour to an hour and a half. My dd took Archery and something called lego Club where they make lego vehicals that you can program.

During the school year she is part of her school chorus which meet before school so from 8 - 9am on tues and Thurs she is at chorus and they have 3 concerts a year. She takes piano after school for an hour on the day she doesn't have gymnastics, she is also a girl scout and goes to the meetings at night on the night she doesn't have gymnastics - GS allows her to try lots of activities. With Girl scouts we have been camping, orienteering, rock climbing, canoing, baking and cake decorating, going to museums with hands on workshops, karate, live entertainments (concerets, plays etc), and lots of fun things like movies, bowling, go karts, mini golf.

So look for activites that can be done on days or times she doesn't have gymnastics. There will be many to choose from and offer those up to her.
Karate was one my dd did for about 2 months she loved it and the schedule to go to practice was very flexable. She would still be doing it but the cost of that added in was just more than we could afford so I gave her a choice and she choose gymnastics.

Just remember no one can do everything and learning to balance what we do is part of lifes lessons our kids need to learn. Taking a day off to do other things really isn't that big a deal to me. If my DD gets behind well that's the cost of trying something else and she has to accept that. I go with most of these gymnasts aren't going to the olympics or having a career in gymnastics. Most will quit somewhere in the 7th - 9 th grade. My job as a mom is to support my dd's choices for fun activities and the things she wants to try.

 

[Livinatthegym]

Hey, now that the girls are "retired," I pop in only occasionally, and forgive me if I forgot about how old your daughter is. See, a lot of the answer depends on the age of the child. The younger the child, the more likely I am to say let her miss a bunch of practice to try new things, and if the coach doesn't like it . . . . However, I'd ask an older child to make some choices herself and not let her do it all.

We used to try, as much as we could, to let the kids do other things in addition to gymnastics, but honestly, it didn't work out all that well. Dd2 used to play softball in the summer. It worked because she was an optional, with a spring season, so meet season wasn't rapidly approaching. Plus, it was a rec league, very low key. Coaches for school sports/activities are a lot more like gymnastics coaches - less forgiving about missing practice. When dd1 was a freshman, she was still in gymnastics, but joined the color guard for the marching band. Well, marching band is graded, so guess which one had to come first? Didn't make gym coach very happy. Made for a lot of stress.

I'm really of 2 minds on this one. I did want the kids to try other things. The transition out of gymnastics was easier becuase they knew other things were waiting. And let's face it, darn few stay in through their senior year of high school. You want them to be able to transition out. On the other hand, looking back, I am not happy with the way we used to cram the schedule with too any activies. Life was crazy busy, and I don't think that's healthy for any of us. I also think we missed the opportunity to teach things like the importance of prioritizing and of leisure.

 

[flipper's fan]

It's always a balancing act. If you can afford it and can logisitically get her to and from everything I have found that it is best to let them try to do two sports.
My dd has played soccer both spring and fall while training gymnastics for the last several years. On Saturdays during the fall, she often leaves gym practice early to get to a soccer game or goes straight from a soccer game to gym practice late. She has gym practice MWFS and soccer practice T,TH with games on Saturday in the fall and Sunday in the spring. Sometimes she takes a day off to hang with friends but that is getting less frequent as she gets more serious about both sports.

I think dd would have quit a few years ago if I didn't make efforts to accomodate other adventures. She got pretty bored with level 6 gymnastics but did not want to move up mid season for complicated reasons. She is now an 11 yo level 8 and walked onto a division 1 soccer team ( from a division 4) when her league merged with another. Over the years she has also done diving and horseback riding in combo with gymnastics and soccer. I don't know how she does it, and believe me none of this has been my idea.

I don't know how families with more than one child can do it.

 

[NGL780309]

DD is 5 year old Level 4 and she does 10.5 hours a week. She has taken dance since she was 2.5 and this is the first year there is a conflict. I decided to let her continue with dance because she'll only miss one hour of practice a week. The good news is that she'll be moving up a level in January and gym will start later and she will be 5 minutes late at the most.

She has the oppurtunity to take an additional dance class that would require her to miss 2 hours right now and an hour when she moves in January. I'm still debating that one.

 

[vagymmomma]

Definitely a tough issue and age is a factor. I encourage my DD to do other activities at school. For example, French, band and track club. These are primarily in-school activities (or occur immediately before or after school day for just an hour a week so they don't interfere with practice). In the summer she's tried several types of day camps like cheer, dance, karate, etc. (though she always says nothing tops gymnastics). The camps are nice because the kids can see what the activities are really like up close (rather than hearing from a friend or assuming how fun they'll be). I don't want her to resent gymnastics so I try to be flexible. It really helps that she's becoming good friends outside of the gym with some of her team mates. School work always come first though.

 

[gym law mom]

Hmmm this is a toughie. I wonder if something else is going on with your dd. I remember she didn't want to go to gym the 1st week of summer practice because it was hot. Now she says she's bored. Isn't this a new level for her(sorry can't keep all the gymmies straight)? Usually when they are working on new level skills/routines, there is more excitement. If your meet season isn't right around the corner, then I'd let her try volleyball even if she has to miss or be late to a practice here and there.

If she's in that 10-12 age group then this is pretty common. They want to try other things and not all decide that gymnastics is IT or they need to find that out for themselves.

As long as she can do the activities and manage her homework, then I would let her try, but also probe a little about why gym is boring. Once girls get to L7 or so and the hours go up(again), that does take away so many chances to try something else.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

Thanks for all the comments, she turned 10 and is a level 6. I am not sure if something is bothering her besides she hates going in the summer. This week is camp week and it is fun time so she is having a good week. I did ask her coach who told me she is doing great she has all her level 6 skills. A lot of girls left the gym before summer one who she was close to switched gyms and daughter took it hard I think 4 girls who she was good friends with in a short period. I am wondering if that is affecting her. Also her school friends have put a lot of pressure on her to quit gymnastics, they want her to do school sports with them. I decided to just take it one day at a time let her try todo volley ball and cheer she keeps insisting that she can work it out and still wants to do gymnastics. They got measured and saw their new leos today which she was excited about. As far as reducing her hours she is only going 4 days, although the head coach has been more lenient with not increasing her hours I do not think she would let her go any less days and I am not sure if daughter wants to decrease her hours. This summer she started training with new level5 and eventhough the coaches are very creative maybe that has her bored she has always been in the group where there were girls at a higher level than her. I quess we will see what the fall brings

 

[gym law mom]

I think you have nailed a few reasons why dd is interested in doing other activities. These kids form very tight bonds with teammates and it seems the 1st time they go through having some leave the sport or the gym, they can get down, gym isn't fun anymore without x and y and maybe I don't want to be there as much too. Then the pressure of the friends to quit and do something else. Yup, I think thats why she feels she needs volleyball and cheer. I know I had to have a few talks with my gymmie about the peer pressure and that if they are really your friends, they understand about gym and will not make you feel bad because you don't want to get involved in something at school.

Usually school sports at the elementary and even middle schools are very relaxed, so I wouldn't stress is she has to miss a practice, leave early or whatever to get to gym. This could be one of those do it this year and then won't be interested in doing it ever again.

 

[NotAMom]

If you and your gymmie can swing the cost and the time (and deal with the stress), based her recent potential loss of interest, I would let her do it. Although not easy, doing it at her age and level is manageable and there is no better time. This is particularly true if the other sport is less competitive.

But, keep in mind if she does pursue multiple sports, there will be some time loss in training leading to some slowing down in progression, likely at both ends. Also, any sport will require a big commitment as she gets more skillful and more involved, that includes volleyball. In fact, we had a wanna-do-it-all girl who became good in volleyball and in her latter part of JO gymnastics she was unable/disallowed to skip varsity basketball practice for gym.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

Well she had her first volleyball practice tonight not sure if she liked it although she claims she still wants to do it. She said her hand was sore from hitting the ball and she has to figure how to hit it straight. Before going today all she was doing was talking about gym showing me a bunch of ending poses for her floor routine and and walked out her beam routine in the bench at the shoe store while her sister was getting shoes. I think trying another sport might just be a phase that she has to work out. She really lights up when she talks about gymnastics and I have not seen it with anything else.
At this point practices are tentively mondays smack right in the middle of gym,luckily we are still on summer gym schedule so no Monday night practice until after labor day, next week the gym is closed. I told her go to practice next week and you are going to have to decide if the 2 conflict you are going to have to figure which practice to do. Secretly inside I am just hoping she chooses gym practice because I think she stands to lose more. I am going to let the choice be hers despite of the fact that I am spending a fortune on gymnastics. I also plan to be upfront and honest with her head coach if she decides to miss for volleyball, I think she will be understanding and maybe give some advice.