G
gymnasticcoach
I found this a few years ago and it is posted in our gym. Some of the alibi's refer to older style equipment and may be gender specific and politically incorrect and i apologize for that in advance. If you have heard any new ones please feel free to add them.
I ATE TOO MUCH..........I'M WEAK FROM THE LACK OF NOURISHMENT..........I'M BUILDING UP FOR THE NEXT OLYMPICS, DON'T RUSH ME..........I DON'T WANT TO IMPROVE TOO RAPIDLY..........I DIDN'T THINK..........I THOUGHT TOO MUCH..........POOR JUDGES..........I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK..........I GOT LOST..........TOO MUCH COMPETITION..........NO COMPETITION..........CHEAP MEDALS..........I WANTED TO SEE WHAT THE OTHER PLACE MEDALS LOOKED LIKE..........NOBODY CARED ABOUT MY PERFORMANCE..........I DON'T LIKE ORGANIZED ATHLETICS..........I FELT GREAT AND THAT IS ALWAYS A BAD SIGN..........I HEARD WE WEREN'T GETTING A MEAL AFTER THE MEET..........I CAN'T STAND TOO MUCH SUCCESS..........THE HORSE WAS SLICK AT THE END..........THE LONG HORSE HAD A LOOSE SKIN..........THE RINGS WERE TOO WIDE..........THE HORSE WAS THE WRONG COLOR - IT WAS HARD TO SEE..........HE DIDN'T BEAT ME - HE JUST GOT A HIGHER SCORE..........MY STEPS WERE WRONG..........MY PANTS WERE TOO TIGHT..........THE P-BARS WERE FACING THE WRONG DIRECTION..........I DIDN'T ALLOW MYSELF ENOUGH REST..........I WAS TOO HIGH TO STOOP THROUGH..........THE HORSE WAS TOO SOLID..........THE COACH REMINDS ME OF MY FATHER AND I HATE BOTH OF THEM..........NO CHALK..........MY GRIPS TORE..........MY HANDS HURT..........I'VE GOT A SORE TOE..........I SHUT MY EYES..........MY HAIR GOT IN MY EYES..........MY SUSPENDER'S BROKE..........I NEED A SPOTTER..........THE GYM WAS TOO HOT..........THE GYM WAS TOO COLD..........THE FLOOR EX PAD IS TOO HARD..........THE FLOOR EX PAD IS TOO SOFT..........NOBODY TOLD ME..........I'LL TRY THAT TOMORROW..........NOBODY ELSE DOES IT LIKE THAT..........I'M TOO SMALL..........I'M TOO BIG..........EVERYBODY DOES THAT..........IT'S IMPOSSIBLE..........YOUR'E RIGHT BUT BUT I DON'T BEND THAT WAY..........IT HURTS..........I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU CAUSE YOU ARE NOT MY COACH (MY MOM IS THE HEAD COACH, MY PARENTS OWN THE GYM, ETC, ETC, ETC)
I ATE TOO MUCH..........I'M WEAK FROM THE LACK OF NOURISHMENT..........I'M BUILDING UP FOR THE NEXT OLYMPICS, DON'T RUSH ME..........I DON'T WANT TO IMPROVE TOO RAPIDLY..........I DIDN'T THINK..........I THOUGHT TOO MUCH..........POOR JUDGES..........I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK..........I GOT LOST..........TOO MUCH COMPETITION..........NO COMPETITION..........CHEAP MEDALS..........I WANTED TO SEE WHAT THE OTHER PLACE MEDALS LOOKED LIKE..........NOBODY CARED ABOUT MY PERFORMANCE..........I DON'T LIKE ORGANIZED ATHLETICS..........I FELT GREAT AND THAT IS ALWAYS A BAD SIGN..........I HEARD WE WEREN'T GETTING A MEAL AFTER THE MEET..........I CAN'T STAND TOO MUCH SUCCESS..........THE HORSE WAS SLICK AT THE END..........THE LONG HORSE HAD A LOOSE SKIN..........THE RINGS WERE TOO WIDE..........THE HORSE WAS THE WRONG COLOR - IT WAS HARD TO SEE..........HE DIDN'T BEAT ME - HE JUST GOT A HIGHER SCORE..........MY STEPS WERE WRONG..........MY PANTS WERE TOO TIGHT..........THE P-BARS WERE FACING THE WRONG DIRECTION..........I DIDN'T ALLOW MYSELF ENOUGH REST..........I WAS TOO HIGH TO STOOP THROUGH..........THE HORSE WAS TOO SOLID..........THE COACH REMINDS ME OF MY FATHER AND I HATE BOTH OF THEM..........NO CHALK..........MY GRIPS TORE..........MY HANDS HURT..........I'VE GOT A SORE TOE..........I SHUT MY EYES..........MY HAIR GOT IN MY EYES..........MY SUSPENDER'S BROKE..........I NEED A SPOTTER..........THE GYM WAS TOO HOT..........THE GYM WAS TOO COLD..........THE FLOOR EX PAD IS TOO HARD..........THE FLOOR EX PAD IS TOO SOFT..........NOBODY TOLD ME..........I'LL TRY THAT TOMORROW..........NOBODY ELSE DOES IT LIKE THAT..........I'M TOO SMALL..........I'M TOO BIG..........EVERYBODY DOES THAT..........IT'S IMPOSSIBLE..........YOUR'E RIGHT BUT BUT I DON'T BEND THAT WAY..........IT HURTS..........I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU CAUSE YOU ARE NOT MY COACH (MY MOM IS THE HEAD COACH, MY PARENTS OWN THE GYM, ETC, ETC, ETC)
