Am i crazy?

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Nov 29, 2008
Minn eee sooo ta! :)
So my gym isn't really working for me, and i kinda need to find a new one. Problem is, the only deacent gym around here is like an hour away. Well, there's this gym that i used to go to about an hour away, and my mom has a really good family friend that lives there with two kids, including a girl that is my age. This friend has offered for me to come live with them so i can do gymnastics. She is really nice, i love her, i would totally feel comfortable living there and stuff, but do you think that i am out of my mind to consider leaving my school, friends, and family to go live with somebody else, just for gymnastics? Moving isn't an option for us because we farm, and i just want a scholarship to a d2 or a low d1 team, but my gym isn't safe or very prepared for my level because of some coach issues. Am i completely out of my mind to consider this?:confused:
Sep 19, 2008
From a selfish parental perspective, I wouldn't let my daughter move for a program that's an hour away. The only instance I could see myself letting her move for would be as an elite athlete, and it would take a lot more distance than an hour drive.

If you really want to go to this gym, I'd make a mature level headed case for it's necessity and hope your parents go with it. There's a compromise in there somewhere, just not enough details posted to find it.
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Jan 4, 2008
You are not crazy, in fact many girls move away from home to pursue gymnastics. If your love of the sport is great enough then this is understandable. This is quite similar to girls your age going away to boarding school, they often need to in order to get the education that they want and it is a big sacrifice for the family but the family has decided that education is a priority.

Having said that, this is a desicion that you must make with your parents. They may not feel comfortable with this and you are their child. This is a big desicion for the whole family so you will need to spend a lot of time descissung it wth your parents.

If you are a high level gymnast and your current gym can't teach your level safely and effectively then it is essential that you do consider training elsewhere. Poor coaching at higher levels can lead to very serious problems including life long injuries or at the very least poor technique making it impossible for you to reach college level gymnastics.

Is it possible to get there from where you are living now. many gymnasts drive this far on a daily basis.

The other option to consider is partial living away from home. Could you live away during the week and come home for weekends? Could you just live away for certain days during the week?

Another thing to consider is if your goal is realistic. How old are you now? What level are you competing? Are you having a lot of competitive success or often just coming in the middle of the pack or lower?


I don't think you need to move. I think your parents need to go to your current gym ASAP and get this coaching thing worked out. You're not the only one in danger. The other girls this coach spots are too.

If you're the only one the coach has trouble spotting for your parent can help in that area too. Sometimes it takes a parent stepping in to get things resolved.
Jan 19, 2009
honestly i think if you love this sport as much as i think you do from reading this moving would expand your gymnastics career. and its only an hour away you said so its not lke your moving across the country love. you'll meet new people and no matter what your family is always going to love you. just ask your self what this sport means to you and where you want to go i know you'll make the right choice(;

Deleted member 1703

This kind of decision is really hard.

I would suggest that you write down all the positives and negatives about the decision/situation. It often helps to look at the thing more objectively. Then you could go through it with your parents and this other family. There are some obvious issues like: what if you fall out with the other family, would you ever be able to go back to your old gym if you were unhappy, what affect on your schooling/education would there be etc etc.

Best of luck with your decision - hope it really works out for you and.... of course, let us know as we all care!!
Nov 29, 2008
Minn eee sooo ta! :)
The other option to consider is partial living away from home. Could you live away during the week and come home for weekends? Could you just live away for certain days during the week?

Another thing to consider is if your goal is realistic. How old are you now? What level are you competing? Are you having a lot of competitive success or often just coming in the middle of the pack or lower?

I was considering just living there during the weeek and then i would be home on the weekends and over breaks and stuff.
I'm 14, 9th grade, i would be a USAG level 9 (i'm not competing USAG right now, i'm doing a different organization called MAGA) I'm currently at the top of my pack but MAGA isn't as high leveled as USAG, meaning i would probably be in the top 1/4 in USAG.

gym law mom

Proud Parent
Dec 23, 2006
Before moving off to this other gym, I would recommend going there for a tryout and have those coaches evaluate where you are in the USAG system if thats what you would be switching to. Also right now, all optionals are in the middle of meet season, so you would probably have to wait until the season is over before making a move. Have you and your parents thought about letting you try this gym for a couple of months this summer? Then if things don't work out, there won't be the switching back and forth with schools.

Its one thing to be great friends, its another to live together 24/7:)

Good luck with whatever you and your parents decide.
Nov 29, 2008
Minn eee sooo ta! :)
Well, i used to go to this gym for a year, and then had to stop because it was too far and because of some coaching issues. Then, one of the girls that was on my team, her parents bought the place and are running it. They are really good friends of my parents and we know them really well. Also, if the coach is who we think it is, (we still have to ask) then she is the coach that was originally there when i started going there, and then she left. In other words, i know she is a good coach. Also, i wouldn't switch now, i would wait until this summer to switch. I am working on a pro/con list and i will post it on here when i get it done. I was a level 8 gymnast, and i have gained skills and form since then, so i'm pretty sure i would be a level 9.
The other option i have is driving to a gym that is about 15 minutes farther away, but it sounds like its better. We don't have any connections to the place, and it sounds really intense, and i'm not sure i want that. :(
Nov 29, 2008
Minn eee sooo ta! :)
So my coach was being annoying yesterday. She yelled at me and was going to send me home because i wouldn't do my pushups. Sounds like my problem i know, but here's the rest of the story.
So we have 3 sets of bars and 8 girls. We were on bars and the high bar on the one set needed to be chalked really badly. We were all making comments about it, and my coach was standing there, completely oblivious to the whole thing. So somebody asked coach if she would chalk the bar and she said sure. So we waited for her to chalk the bar. And we waited some more. and we still waited she didn't do anything. So were were chalking up between each turn, and we only have 1 chalk bucket. "75 pushups girls. the bars are empty" I looked and saw that somebody was just going to get on the middle set, and people were just getting off the other two. One girl started doing her pushups right away, and the rest of us just kinda looked at her. 75 pushups is kinda a lot of pushups and the bars weren't even open.
"you need to do your pushups now!" She yelled at me. I just stood there like what the heck. nobody else is doing their pushups. So she comes right up in my face and screams "Do your pushups now!" I told her no because she was already on my nerves from everything else and she has no right to yell at me like that. So she stormed off into the office and called my mom who luckily didn't answer the phone. So i did like twenty pushups and then got back up on the bars. Only one girl did them all and two other girls didn't even do any. I finished bars and we went to vault, and i was not having a good gymnastics day skillwise. So i did tuck tsuks to my face and ya wanna know what she said? "Good" I'm like. ur an idiot! I just landed on my face. So i was pissed at her and i told her
"that was not good! What do i need to do differently so i actually make it next time!?" ( I have been competing tsuks all year and they have been great) She just looked at me and said "but that was good" So i just walked away and did 4 more vaults. They all landed on my face and after each one she would say "Good"
So i got 5 turns on vault and we were there for 30 minutes with 7 girls. (2 are out with injuries) So i asked her when we were done "How many vaults should we get in a day?"
"10" She said.
"Well we only got 5 today"
"Thats your problem. You didn't go for all of them"
"No, i only got 5 turns. warm ups included"
"Whatever" she told me. The reason we only got 5 vaults was because she had to take 2 springs out of the springboard and that takes her 1 whole minute (i timed it) And she has to move the vault for some girls (that takes 1 whole minute and i timed it) So she wasted 15 minutes of our time just for doing that. So we go to floor and i lost my double fulls somehow. So i was attempting to get them back into the pit. So i did a 1 3/4 and guess what she said. "Good"
"no! its not good. I have competed these all year and now i can't make them. Thats not good! Tell me what to fix!" I was pissed. She just gave me a blonde look and told me guess what. "But it was good." So i just walked away and did another one. She must have gotten the clue because she said
"your arms are coming out." So i said ok glad she told me something, so i made sure my arms were in. I landed and they were still in. only a 1 3/4.
"Good!" She said. I gave a dirty look and she goes.
"Um i mean keep your arms in."
"I did keep my arms in. Thats not the problem. I'm getting lost." I told her
"if you don't want to be coached by me then you can just go home." So i just ignored her and went back to practicing. When practice was done, She called my mom again and my mom talked to her. I found out that my coach was a gymnast for 9 years. I have been a gymnast for 11. She has never coached anything above level 5 before. I'm a level 9 (or would be whatever. I do level 9 skills) So my mom asked her if she has ever spotted double backs before, cuz thats what i need to do and have been working.
"well i spotted your daughter on some" (Yeah, and she almost killed me)
"What about before that?" My mom asked
"I spotted (this other girl on my team) on some before" she said. I later explained to my mom that she 'spotted' a girl who could already do them, and therfore didn't do anything. So, now my dad and i are going to go meet with her (and basically tell her to step up her act or we're leaving) (in a nice way of course) So i'm wondering what questions we should ask her, and what we should talk about at our 'meeting'
Nov 29, 2008
Minn eee sooo ta! :)
Alright, so my mom made me write my coach an appology letter, and i did. Then i saw that the other coach (who can actually spot stuff) was there today and i was excited. So we started on floor and he was our coach. We did floor routines, and seemed fairly upset that i had lost my doublefulls. So i worked my doublefulls into the pit the whole time and he told me that my head was out. So i said ok and went back to try again. I was talking to another girl on my team and i said i was glad he noticed that because nobody had told me that before. So i did abother one and still didn't make it around, but he didn't tell me anything. and then he called over the 7 big girls on our team and he talked to us.
(this isn't exactly what he said but it was something like this)
"You guys act like you don't even care if you win. Your floor routines were bull! You guys act like you can just walk into anywhere and win. Did you know that there are two team ahead of you right now? And you guys don't even care. You (girl on my team) you always fall on your but and you scream. just to draw attention to yourself. And you (he pointed to me). you go and tell her that what i told you to fix on your double full isn't right."
So basically he told us that we sucked and stuff and then he proceeds to making assumptions about what i was talking to another girl about. I was saying something good about him and he just assumes that i was saying something bad. That mad me really mad. For the rest of the day i had the coach that i got mad at on tuesday. She was nice and we talked about how we had both competed USAG. i asked her what level she was. She was a level 6. and she's trying to coach me? Well anyways, she was good today and i had a good practice, and then on bars we had this other coach who is fairly new to our gym. She is really nice and she can't spot much, but she sure knows what she's talking about when it comes to skills. I don't know much about her but she must have been a fairly good gymnast. I really like her even though she can't spot anything. She knows what to tell you to get your skills and how to get you motivated and keep everything positive. I kinda don't like this have 3 coaches thing. We don't have a single coach for everything which is kinda nice but also annoying.
Just an update because i kinda need somebody to vent to.

PS. Sorry this one and the last ones are so long, but if i don't explain everything, it doesn't make sense.
Nov 29, 2008
Minn eee sooo ta! :)
So i walked into practice yesterday, and i started stretching out and my coaches are like "we were talking about you yesterday"
I'm like "about what?"
So they told me.
Vault, phelps (i'm gonna stick to my tsuk)
Bars, pac saltos and blinds
Beam full twisting back tucks
Floor double backs.

And i'm thinking "Just who the heck is going to spot me on this?"

But i'm wondering if they heard from somebody that i might be leaving and so they are trying to make me stay?
But it makes me feel kinda bad that they are making all these plans (i'm not so sure how they are going to do it, but...) and then if i leave?
Thanks for keeping us updated. I wouldn't feel too bad, because if it isn't safe to do these things because of the coaches, you should definitely try to go to another gym. It's not like your just leaving for no reason, this is about your safety. Good luck.


No offense to you, you seem like a good gymnast and I hope you succeed in the sport, however you come across to me as very arrogant, and you seem to have an attitude problem.

If one of my gymnasts refused to do something I asked, I would have told them to put their clothes on.

Your coaches know what they are talking about, the things they are telling you to correct seem like common errors to me, and maybe the reason(s) they are not working when you try to fix them are: A] you are not listening properly to what the coaches are saying, you don't believe they are correcting the right thing, so your attitude is negative, B) Things dont always work the first time you change something, often when you change something, because of that change something else goes wrong.

Just because a coach was not a high level gymnast, doesnt mean they will be a bad coach - do you think Bela Karolyi did much gymnastics?! You need to stop second guessing your coaches skills and think about your attitude as a gymnast.
Feb 18, 2009
I agree with some of lasswadecoach. I do seem to wonder when you say you had other coaching issues that maybe it could be your attitude. Don't get me wrong I have no idea the whole situation however, if one of my gymnasts had told me 'No' I would tell them ok then there is the door change and go home. I agree with what your coach did about you telling her no. Gymnasts I work with know that 'NO' means no I do not want to work on my skills today or be in the gym today. I do not tolerate disrespect at all.

Did you go up to your coaches and say I am leaving in the summer? Then you cannot be for sure that they know you are leaving. Have you fully decided that you are leaving? If you have I think you need to tell the coaches that. Just say hey y'know I really think I could do better at this other gym. Whatever you do I wouldn't burn any bridges because if you do then if it doesn't work out at the other gym where will you go?

You don't know if your coach moved to another gym that maybe wasn't USAG, but she could have still advanced. Also being a GREAT gymnast still could mean you are a HORRIBLE coach and vice versa. Learning the skills will be just like learning your others. So the tuck full on beam. You would start doing a standing tuck full on a line then to low beam then to a beam with a velcro mat on it or a resi pit under it. You do sound like a good gymnast and why not be pushed if you want to be?

So I'm curious you have said before on here that you just got your tuck tsuks so instead of the phelps are you going to be doing pike and layout then?


Jan 18, 2009
I didn't really appreciate the part where you mentioned what level she reached and how that meant she was unable to coach. I was a gymnast for 7 years, I only reached up to around level 7/8 skill level. But that doesn't mean I know less about gymnastics than someone who has done it longer or reached a higher level. Gymnastics is my passion, I spend my free time learning as much as I can about the sport and learning how to be the best coach I can be. Currently I only coach up to level 5, but someday I hope to coach higher levels and I certainly hope they don't say anything like that to me. I had coaches who never did a day of gymnastics in their life and they were incredible. How well someone did as a gymnast does not say anything about their coaching ability.
Just because a coach gives you a correction and you *think* you made the change on the next turn, doesn't mean there isn't something else that can be corrected or that you made the correction to the fullest extent possible. I know as a gymnast I would get frustrated with my coach because I *thought* I made the correction, but that wasn't always the case. I also know that as a coach, I only give an athlete as many corrections as I think they can digest. If their head is out, their arms are in the wrong place, their knees are bent, and a whole list of other errors, I'm not going to tell them all of those at once. Perhaps keeping your head in was just the first step and once you did that well he would have added another correction on.
And telling your coach "No", not a good idea. That is something that bothers me so much as a coach. You feel like the athletes are not respecting your decision. Coaches can tell when an athlete doesn't respect their corrections, opinions, or criticism and as a coach, it sucks.
I totally know that it's sometimes hard to see why a coach is doing or saying what they are, I know I felt like that often as a gymnast and I know I made my coach so mad at times. But it's important to trust your coach and to think about how they might be feeling, there are two sides to every story.
Nov 29, 2008
Minn eee sooo ta! :)
Did you go up to your coaches and say I am leaving in the summer? Then you cannot be for sure that they know you are leaving. Have you fully decided that you are leaving? If you have I think you need to tell the coaches that. Just say hey y'know I really think I could do better at this other gym. Whatever you do I wouldn't burn any bridges because if you do then if it doesn't work out at the other gym where will you go? So I'm curious you have said before on here that you just got your tuck tsuks so instead of the phelps are you going to be doing pike and layout then?

Well, i agree with what you guys are saying about the disrespect thing. I have always kinda been fairly disrespectful to everyone, and ive been trying to work on it lately, and things seem to be going better. I did not tell my coach or anybody else except for one girl on the team that i am even thinking about leaving. I haven't decided that i was leaving yet because my dad is kinda against the whole moving in with a different family thing. I agree with the don't burn your bridges thing. I have my tuck tsuks, and i'm working pikes (although they didn't go too good today). I would like to turn it into a layout or even a layout full someday. I just don't think a phelps is worth that much?

Now back to what i said about my dad. He says that he doesn't want to just ship me off to live with some other family. I am his kid and he doesn't think thats right.
I tried to explain to him that i would only miss out on 5 hours a week with him, my brother and my mom, because i would be home on the weekends. He says that this is just the easy way out and i'm his kid and he doesn't think its right to just have another family raise me.
I explained that he has raised me for 14 years of my life, and i'm soon going to be out on my own anyways. My other option is going post secondary after next year to get to a good gym somewhere. (i'm not too fond of this idea).

Also, I know this isn't a site for religion, so i'll make this brief. There is some spirtual part to this, and i think that its 'right' for me to do this, but i don't think my parents are getting the same message.


Jun 24, 2008
Actually, a Phelps has a 10.0 SV in L9 and 10 if it's a layout. A 1/2 1/2 front (tucked) is a 10 at L8 and a 9.7 at L9 and 10. A layout tsuk also has a 9.7 SV.
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