For Parents Another thread about blocks

[MILgymFAM]

I'm not really asking a question here- more like venting. My YDD is 13 and L7 on trampoline, and she's having a seriously rough time. She started out losing a single skill (back tuck to stomach) that she used to think was amazingly fun, and it's slowly spread. Yesterday she couldn't even make herself go for a back tuck in a belt (on the trampoline), or with a spot, or even with her coach physically throwing her around the skill. She is suddenly terrified of all skills going backward. Her baranis, which used to be so scary to her, are suddenly a breeze just because they are forward flips.

Her coach doesn't want to scratch her, and has said she'll be on the tramp at meets even if it's to get a zero. This strategy surprisingly worked in the last meet, which is the only time she has ever done the whole L7 routine. Never before and not since. She has another meet Saturday morning and the stress is really, really breaking her down. She's cried more in the last 2.5 months of blocks than in the rest of her life combined.

I have offered to have her switch to rec, or to quit altogether, and she's having none of it. She says she loves it and she just wants to get past her fear but she doesn't know how. Her coach does seem to have an infinite amount of patience with her, but in his opinion if you don't go for it you aren't trying and that makes her feel even worse.

Anyway, not really looking for advice so much as commiseration.

 

[Ali'sMom]

I will totally commiserate with you!!!

I hope her meet goes well, and somehow she manages to pull it out!!!

 

[MILgymFAM]

I will totally commiserate with you!!!

I hope her meet goes well, and somehow she manages to pull it out!!!

Thank you! I just feel like it's really rotten luck, so get slammed with major blocks right before a forced gym switch. She is nervous (as am I) about moving and trying to get into a new gym without any skills. I can only hope she makes progress back before then.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

Lots of ((((HUGS)))) for you both, hopefully it's just due to a growth spurt and will pass quickly!

 

[MILgymFAM]

Lots of ((((HUGS)))) for you both, hopefully it's just due to a growth spurt and will pass quickly!

I hope so too! She would actually be consoled by that. Her doctor told her she was done growing and she was so mad! She's shorter than everyone else in the family by at least 3 inches! Lol

 

[l.c.o]

Oh, man. Sending hugs!

Could there maybe be some nerves about the impending gym switch (and any school changes... and move itself...) be affecting it, maybe? She's at an age where it may be taking a bit of a toll without her even realizing it. Change is scary, particularly in her age range. When we entertained the idea of moving out of state recently, my DD said that if we did move, we don't need to consider local gyms because she'd be done with gym. She doesn't want to start over again with new coaches, new kids, etc (she's almost 13). If nothing else, perhaps the fear of moving 'without skills' is enough that it's sorta pushing her over the edge? I have no idea if it could have anything to do with it at all (and maybe you already considered it) - I'm just trying to think outside the "it's vestibular/growth spurt/etc" box.

I mean, I know my own DD goes through a bit of a rough period each new school year anticipating changes, etc.

Hope this bout is short-lived!

 

[MILgymFAM]

Thank you! I don't think the impending move caused this (though it all did start with a voluntary gym switch), but I do think it is making it worse. My YDD is really shy, and starting over with coaches and teammates is awful to her even in the best of times. It's the reason she stayed a whole other season at her first gym even after she knew she should leave. I know it will be rough on her regardless, but I am hoping this (the move on top of the blocks) isn't what pushes her away from what she loves.

 

[Seeker]

Sending her (and you) good vibes. I know it must be very frustrating for her and probably a little scary too. When do you move? Hopefully she will have some time to work thru at least some of the issues before you go.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Sending her (and you) good vibes. I know it must be very frustrating for her and probably a little scary too. When do you move? Hopefully she will have some time to work thru at least some of the issues before you go.

Thank you! Beginning of June. One minute it feels like a lifetime and the next barely a minute.

 

[l.c.o]

Thank you! I don't think the impending move caused this (though it all did start with a voluntary gym switch), but I do think it is making it worse. My YDD is really shy, and starting over with coaches and teammates is awful to her even in the best of times. It's the reason she stayed a whole other season at her first gym even after she knew she should leave. I know it will be rough on her regardless, but I am hoping this (the move on top of the blocks) isn't what pushes her away from what she loves.

Thinking of you all! June will be here before you know it. I so hope that she overcomes this bump quickly, and that she can truly enjoy more time in the sport.

 

[GymDad9.9]

Hoping your daughter bounces back.

 

[momnipotent]

You know I feel for you after L competed all last season with incomplete routines (thanks, barani)! Sorry she's having such a tough time right now. I've been feeling the same way for S at practice lately since she is still (after over a year and a half) struggling with all her front flipping skills. This too shall pass, (like a hemorrhoid) right?

 

[OzZee]

No advice but sympathy and hopeshe gets over it soon vibes

 

[NutterButter]

Blocks and fears just suck. I'm really sorry your DD is dealing with this now; especially with all the upcoming changes coming up with your family. The 'if you don't go for it, you must not be trying or want it bad enough' is so demoralizing.

While I wish your DD wasn't in this situation at all, you will at least be able to tell upfront how any potential new gym addresses fears/blocks and what their overall philosophy/attitude is in helping athletes move beyond fear/blocks. You will learn a lot about the gym when this is part of the conversation up front.

 

[NY Dad]

Sorry in advance for the negative spin)

Her coach doesn't want to scratch her, and has said she'll be on the tramp at meets even if it's to get a zero. This strategy surprisingly worked in the last meet,

Hopefully it wasn't that it appeared to work (since she did the routine) but ended up causing more stress/pressure.

Her coach does seem to have an infinite amount of patience with her, but in his opinion if you don't go for it you aren't trying and that makes her feel even worse.

It sounds like the coach has good intentions but this could be causing more stress/pressure.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Sorry in advance for the negative spin)


Hopefully it wasn't that it appeared to work (since she did the routine) but ended up causing more stress/pressure.


It sounds like the coach has good intentions but this could be causing more stress/pressure.

Trust me- I'm an expert over thinker, and have considered both of those things. We've had so many experiences where I didn't actually think coaches had my girls best interests at heart , that now that they have someone I truly believe cares I want to trust his process.. I'm a bit of a worrier by nature though, so I second guess my own trust. It can be crazy making for sure.

What is certain though, is he will be her coach until we move- and honestly neither of my kids even want to move and lose this gym- so we have to work with him where he is.. if the high pressure tactic fails to produce results this weekend I hope he will reconsider... and in that scenario I hope my DD learns to deal with the embarrassment without a breakdown and how to stand her ground with him when she knows she isn't able to do something.

 

[NY Dad]

I'm sure you know our kids can read us like a book. It helps that you know her coach believes in her and cares so much for her.

Positive vibes being sent your way for this weekend.

 

[Judybird]

I'm so sorry you both are going through this. These mental blocks are the pits!

 

[duyetanh]

My immediate thought was the block is happening because she knows she is moving. Especially when you consider her age. I don't know how to help that though. You ARE moving, and it's back to unknowns for them. They seen to be such strong girls both mentally and physically. Even though she is very shy, she obviously is a determined child. I do hope the move doesn't push her away from doing what she loves (and back to that letter....wish the coach would write an email to the new teams being considered...now, more than ever, I would think it would be very helpful). It will be a true test once you move about if she pulls it off or not. My heart goes out to her, and to you. I have never hurt so much as when I have seen my child deeply upset. It's so hard to see them suffer, and know they need to find and make their own way through it all...yes you give support, but in the end it has to come from within. Candle is lit for her this weekend!!

 

[NY Dad]

and back to that letter....wish the coach would write an email to the new teams being considered...now, more than ever, I would think it would be very helpful

This.