Parents Article on why parent's shouldn't watch practice

[COz]

... but then I can't picture a gym set up in a high school gymnasium either.

There are lots of gyms set up this way in Australia by the way.

Here, there will be a gymnastics program either run by the school or by an external provider hiring gym space at the school.
There is usually a mix of recreational and competitive groups. There is a HC and a bunch of other coaches and generally but not always, children who do not attend that school can attend gymnastics classes there. They can compete with the club in competitions, but not take part in inter-school gymnastics competitions.
There is usually some part of the floor that is sprung and then other areas of pack away matting, no pit.
It is common for classes to be on at the same time as basketball, trampolining, rhythmic gymnastics, other stuff happening in the gym... It makes for interesting viewing

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

I just think it is very important to keep the roles separate. One of DD's coaches has two girls on the team, and over the years, I have seen what a terrific job she does in making sure her daughters understand when she is wearing her coach hat as opposed to being their mom. Because the gym does event coaching, she has coached them both on her event all the way.

I am glad that you have had positive experiences with this. I have had very negative experiences with coaches with their own kids on the team/in the gym (both in gymnastics and hockey). Not only blatant favouritism, special treatment, lack of discipline and double standards of expectations and behaviour, but allowing the children to "rule the roost" so to speak, enough so that entire organizations have basically crumbled.

Mentioning this was to say that it can be extremely difficult to differentiate and maintain the line between parent and coaching roles from both sides of the viewing windows.

I think it's a struggle that we all face sometimes, if we are being totally honest with ourselves. Which, getting back to the original topic of this thread, can be harder if we stay and watch them training.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I'm a little scared to wade in here because I'm afraid this thread is going to go south but in the name of living recklessly..... LOL

I'm a big believer in each family doing what is best for their situation. I am at the gym a lot. I watch some. As my daughter is maturing, I leave more but am still the mom who is there the most. However, I also work 3 to 4 days at the gym in the office and am a booster club officer. There is really only about one day a week that I'm not there in some sort of "official" capacity. On that one day, sometimes I stay, sometimes I don't.

DD prefers me being there. We are very close (single mom/only child) and she likes to sit with me during break and tell me about her school day. Given how little time we spend together during the week, this can be a time of the most deliberate conversation we have until the weekend. When I don't stay, she tells me it makes her sad. I encourage her to sit with her teammates but they are teenagers and a ten year old just doesn't care about boys in that way yet. I have heard some people on this board make comments about it being unhealthy for kids to be that close to their parents. While I respect their right to hold that opinion, I have to think of some pretty extreme circumstances for that to be true.

In the past, my daughter had some health issues that could have caused social embarrassment. This, and our commute, is what started my pattern of staying. I've built a nice carpool circle over the years with some of the other families who share my hometown so the commute is no longer much of an issue. Her health issue has mostly resolved itself so now, I mostly stay because of my responsibilities and my desire to spend time with my beautiful child.

That being said, I don't coach the kid. If I tried, she would suck! I'd be all like "point your elbow and flex your eyebrows"! I don't pretend that my five years riding the lobby bench instills ANY expertise or even practical knowledge. I like to listen sometimes and watch sometimes because I find the sport fascinating and I just like to know things. I'll help my daughter with her flexibility and at home conditioning WHEN SHE ASKS and with ballet because I do know about dance. However, if she doesn't ask, I don't offer and if she tells me her coach says something different, I tell her to definitely listen to her coach! And I want to reiterate, this is only when she requests. She knows what home assignments she has been given and has been told why she has the assignments. But I don't nag her (or even remind her). She owns it and if she chooses not to do it, she only answers to her coach, not her mom.

It appears your views are slowly changing and you appear to be watching less. And I think that is important for parents here too see. You went from viewing every workout to finding something to do in the gym that doesn't include the viewing area. You were even "self admittedly guilty" of crossing over the line with coaching your daughter at one point, and have learned from that (according to the title in the old thread). These are all things that need to be brought up, because we as coaches and parents (including me) do make mistakes and helping others to not make the same mistakes is really the only thing we can do here on CB.

 

[KSLaura]

I'm surprised age hasn't come up as a variable. Sticking around for a 5/6 YO is totally different than watching a 15 YO. As kids get older, they gain more independence and parents get more comfortable with dropping them off.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I'm surprised age hasn't come up as a variable. Sticking around for a 5/6 YO is totally different than watching a 15 YO. As kids get older, they gain more independence and parents get more comfortable with dropping them off.

=
Totally, we allow parents of 5 and 6 year olds to view so long as the kid is paying attention. And if they don't then we just ask that they hide in the back.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I'm surprised age hasn't come up as a variable. Sticking around for a 5/6 YO is totally different than watching a 15 YO. As kids get older, they gain more independence and parents get more comfortable with dropping them off.

This with the exception that should be more about the kids. As in the child's comfort level. Not unusual for kids to have separation anxiety for any number of reasons and that needs to be considered. The parents separation anxiety issues not so much.

 

[happychaos]

I can assure folks adoptive parent is a parent.

And "like a parent" is not a "parent".

The article and discussion is about actual parents. As is this room.

You need to stop. There are many people who take their "like a parent" role far more seriously than "actual" parents. In too many cases, "actual" parents are not worthy of the title. It is a fortunate child that has another loving adult willing to step up and be the parent that the "actual" parent is unable or unwilling to be.

I don't know the specifics of Raenndrops situation, but she has posted before that the family situation is complicated, and her gymmies rely on her 110% when it comes to gymnastics, and many other things.

To insinuate that Raendrops should not post on the parent board because she is not the "actual" parent is ridiculous. Who the heck are you to judge the level of commitment she has to these children?

 

[happychaos]

yes I agree, Raen should not be posting in this thread as a 'bench coach' or 'judges eyes' as that is off topic. While it seems strange and unusual to us this role obviously works for her her, her HC and her step children. However the thread is about parents being 'just' parents watching not anything else. She should stick to posting about watching practice as a parent on this thread.

I really wanted to let this go...but I just can't. Almost every single one of Coach P's posts has been from the perspective of COACH. Please reread the thread if you don't understand what I am talking about.

It's not fair to criticize Raen for what she has posted, when Coach P is doing the same thing, and to a far greater extent.

Also, I believe much of what Raen posted was in response to questions that were asked of her.......

 

[cbifoja]

There are coaches around. The coaches are just working with other gymnasts. She has permission from a coach (which means that coach has taken responsibility, so gym insurance is fine). It is no different than a coach setting up side stations while she works with gymnasts on something else. Her "side station" for before practice is full routines on bars and / or beam while HC and Assistant HC work with the High School team.

This is how it is at our gym too. The team girls are allowed to enter the training area before their actual training time. Rec kids can't go in until the coach calls them in. That is one of the benefits of being on team. Once in the gym, the team kids can begin warming up on the floor, start doing some tap swings, jump on the tramp or hop on a beam. There isn't a coach actually coaching them but there is always one coach or another in the gym.

Mostly what they do though is lay on the resi or straddle the pommel and sit on the mushroom while catching up with one another's life in the whole 18 hours they were apart.

 

[raenndrops]

You need to stop. There are many people who take their "like a parent" role far more seriously than "actual" parents. In too many cases, "actual" parents are not worthy of the title. It is a fortunate child that has another loving adult willing to step up and be the parent that the "actual" parent is unable or unwilling to be.

I don't know the specifics of Raenndrops situation, but she has posted before that the family situation is complicated, and her gymmies rely on her 110% when it comes to gymnastics, and many other things.

To insinuate that Raendrops should not post on the parent board because she is not the "actual" parent is ridiculous. Who the heck are you to judge the level of commitment she has to these children?

Thank you!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I really wanted to let this go...but I just can't. Almost every single one of Coach P's posts has been from the perspective of COACH. Please reread the thread if you don't understand what I am talking about.

It's not fair to criticize Raen for what she has posted, when Coach P is doing the same thing, and to a far greater extent.

Also, I believe much of what Raen posted was in response to questions that were asked of her.......

No, false and the post you are referring to isn't even mine. .....

 

[Bess]

I'm surprised age hasn't come up as a variable. Sticking around for a 5/6 YO is totally different than watching a 15 YO. As kids get older, they gain more independence and parents get more comfortable with dropping them off.

. I agree wholeheartedly. There is a 5 yr old that would freak out if mom or dad did not stay the whole time. Where as my niece has been " oh you are still here?!? adios and see ya in 3 hours" since she joined team at 4 1/2. She looks at me funny if traffic is light and I get to the gym a half hour early. And then she goes back to forgetting I'm there...thank goodness because she can be a goofball