Parents Balking on skills

[Deleted member 10727]

Last season, my son lost his back handsprings. He'd had BHSBHS for a year, when all of the sudden just before comp season, he just couldn't do them anymore. By Regionals, he had them back after a slow process throughout the season. It was painful for me, as a parent, to feel helpless as he struggled through it, but I know it was something HE had to go through and to figure it out.

Fast forward to this season. We moved to a bigger gym and have been here for about 4 months. He has struggled with the hibar, especially flyaways and baby giants, but he has had his BHSBHS BT. Then suddenly, he lost his BHS again. He can sometimes throw a BHS, but he is balking on anything more. What is going on?

My honest question is, and I hope I can communicate this, even though I am not sure really what I am asking (lol?), is this going to be a common theme for his gym career. He is showing a pattern, though he is quite young. Have there been successful Elite gymnasts who have gone through this? He loves gymnastics so much and has dreams for the future (which I will never dash, no matter what anyone thinks about this, fyi).

 

[Dr Maleficent]

How old is he? Could it maybe be a vestibular thing? May be worth asking dunno as he knows lots about this - I believe it can suddenly affect tumbling and is important to recognize and explain to the gymmie so that they don't feel like they are failing .

 

[B.Gold]

My DD will never train elite, so maybe I'm not the reassuring opinion you are looking for, but I do believe L10 could be in her future, and she has a balking pattern like you describe.

She has a skill that she balks/loses every so often, and I now associate the loss with growth. The first time she lost it I was incredulous. She had been fearlessly doing the skill for years-and then one day -*POOF*-gone. It took the whole competition season to get it back. She has now gone through this pattern 3 time. The nice thing about a pattern is you can predict the outcome and I now sit back and trust her coaches will get her through it...again.

Skills come and go... and then come back again... and then go again only to again come back, though it is no fun at all feeling helpless on the sidelines.

 

[munchkin3]

Yes it is common...although the skills will change.
We had a girl who had been doing BHS BHS BT, and any combination of it.....one day she lost it.
She could not tumble backwards for anything.......her coach very wisely told her, not to worry. That she knew she could do it and whenever she felt ready, it would come back......LO and behold, they were doing yurchenko drills and this girls REALLY wanted to do them. So she did. After that the girl realized it was the same as doing a BHS, so she went over to the floor and poof! They were back again.......funny thing is she NEVER lost her BHS on beam. Weird.
Don't stress out, it makes the block worse. Just tell your son that it's in him, he can do it, it's just temporarily misplaced....

 

[Deleted member 10727]

I don't think the is vestibular. It happened at exactly the same time last season. I think it's pressure of competitions and perfectionism taking it's toll, He got immediately super frustrated, which resulted in a complete meltdown of the skill.

He is almost 9. His coach said he will not let him balk, meaning he gets a few tries and moves on. I am glad to hear that! Yesterday, my son kept trying to do them over and over but ended up balking sometimes where he landed on his back because he was not following through with his hands. That makes me incredibly nervous for his safety.

 

[gymisforeveryone]

The most successful gymnast of my club of all times (retired 3 years ago but went all the way to the Worlds and was on national team) told me once that when she was young she just completely stopped doing RO BHS and it was a huge struggle and almost made her quit. I don't remember the story exactly but she told that at some point she could do a RO BHS but ONLY on one strip of the floor area and only one direction. She refused to try it diagonally and that was huge problem because in her floor routine she HAD to tumble diagonally. She told her coaches tried everything, they even put thin mats on the floor and made a lane that ran diagonally so that she could feel like doing them on the middle strip of the floor! She also told that eventually the coaches just took all the pressure off her back tumbling and she focused on front tumbling. Later she started to tumble out of RO only so no BHSs at all on floor. She did her double backs out off RO and other cool stuff and didn't to do that horrifying BHS anymore. On beam she did them though.

So I'm telling you that struggle with one skill doesn't mean you can't have a wonderful gym career!

 

[Deleted member 10727]

That is good to hear. Unfortunately it is not just one skill right now. I mean, the kid is dealing with a new coach, new gym, and new teammates. But he had the same issues at the old gym and doesn't have that "fearless" attitude that seems rampant in the most successful boys I have seen. His old coach would talk about this one (very disruptive) kid on the old team and how he will be a gold medal winner. This kid is seriously fearless, and while his form needs improvement, he just throws the skills and gets them done. Then the coach said to me, privately, that my kid has talent, but also issues with balking that will likely hold him back (and nothing about him winning gold medals, which I really could care less about, but my kid does to some extent).

They say that some caution is good, and can reduce injuries. I am not seeing that. I am seeing a kid who will try to throw a skill and midway through the skill will just shut down. That is dangerous!

 

[sce]

I have no idea how this will play into his future in the sport. Just want to say poor kid. It does sounds like he puts a lot of pressure on himself.

I also understand about it being scary too. Hopefully his coach will manage the situation well, to avoid injury.

 

[Popcorn]

That must be scary for you, GymBoyzMom. And for your ds, too.

I can speak to that "fearless" issue though: My ds is the fearless kid at our gym. He'll do anything he sees the older boys do, or even sees on YouTube. And that used to make the other parents think that he was advancing faster, but the truth is that it takes him the same amount of time to perfect the skill he's throwing as it takes the cautious boys to learn it properly. Sometimes, the cautious boys learn the skill better because they haven't had to unlearn the technique my ds taught himself (in the Target parking lot, haha).

One of the reasons gymnastics is awesome is that these kids get to take their own personalities (perfectionist/cautious/fearless/"nerd"/etc.) and put it into their sport, most times turning it into a strength. (As in, in school my ds is not applauded for being "energetic"...and at home he catches a lot of flack for it, too...but in the gym he is allowed to be himself and that is beautiful.)

 

[Popcorn]

Also, for boys, almost 9 is very young. He has years and years before the real pressure comes. We have really good gymnasts at our gym who haven't mastered a competition-worthy BHS on floor yet at that age. At this age, everybody gets candy at the end of the competition and that's what really matters.

 

[Deleted member 10727]

It' very scary to me, to watch him crash on the floor. I will have to avoid watching at all for a long time, and just watch in comps.

 

[gracyomalley]

Hugs to you - hard to watch/support them through this. With DD, it was (in retrospect) clearly vestibular, and hit at about 11. 1.5 years later she's starting to at least understand her issues, but has lost tons of progression, repeated L7 and now just training a hodge podge of L7/8....never ever balked before BHS-BHS on beam. However, my youngest has a significant fear of heights and has struggled with high bar from L4 on due to that - won't really swing....and "lost" his ROBHSBT this summer - but got it back in about 2 months. I fully expect him to go through phases of losing skills, but I'd love to be wrong. My oldest just plugs along, slowly, then quickly, and hasn't seemed to have any fear issues, although he's a bit worried about his back giants out of front giants this year.

All I can say, is that once again, it doesn't help at all to push them or tell them to "be strong" about this type of issue, and if that happens, at least for DD, the self esteem hit is much worse - as they feel like true failures. Taking the pressure off, working other skills, and giving it time is the only thing that seems to "work". It hard as a parent - I know I am doing better accepting DDs path, but I still cringe when she says things like "I just don't understand why everyone else can learn to giant and I can't" when for the last 2 years I've watched her giant intermittantly with perfect technique - then "lose it" again for months....but I'm seeing her getting closer to re-framing things into "I wish I could always do my giants instead of only sometimes - and maybe I'll figure it out soon"....just an example of a fellow spirit! Hang in there and let him know its only one part of his gymnastics journey -

 

[profmom]

Encourage him to take the pressure off himself and remind him it's a marathon. Sounds vestibular to me. You've said he is in a good gym with experienced coaches, so hopefully they can get him to knock off the quitting in the middle of a skill. He will get there!

As for tumbling trouble with upper level gymnasts, we were at a chalk talk thing once and Jonathan Horton said he cannot do a simple layout. He always twists. DD blames his coaches for not making him twist down after working on twisting in practice! She's had a couple of upper level teammates with the twisties, which is also really frustrating, but they work through it in time (twisties is where they feel like they are lost in the air and freak out). Your son will too, if he can just be patient. It sounds like the coaches know what they're doing.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

it's vestibular. be patient. more common in girls than boys.

 

[Deleted member 10727]

How do you know it's vestibular? Why would this happen just before comp season 2 years in a row? I keep hearing that he lacks mental toughness, which is discouraging to hear, so I hope you are right. But he turns 9 in a few days, and that seems rather young for vestibular.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i have seen these vestibular issues in kids as young as 6. and it's coincidence 2 years in a row.

and therein lies the problem with coaches..."not mentally tough enough".

hogwash...

 

[Deleted member 10727]

He also seems to grow in the Fall. He grew 10 lbs in 4 months, and 4 inches in 6 months. He is still short for his age though.

 

[Deleted member 10727]

Dunno, too bad you can't be his coach. He needs to hear he is ok and this is no big deal. I think the "get mentally tough" thing is making it worse for him.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

tell him you spoke with someone that had the "twisties" when he was an athlete. he'll know what that is. and tell him it went away as i got older.

 

[B.Gold]

i have seen these vestibular issues in kids as young as 6. and it's coincidence 2 years in a row.

and therein lies the problem with coaches..."not mentally tough enough".

hogwash...

But the op asked specifically how do you know with %100 certainty that its vestibular? Without ever having met that gymnast, what are the clues in what she has written would allow you to determine vestibular with such conviction?