Parents Bars dismount fear

[Lkgymom]

My L7 was injured much of last year and I had hoped she would repeat L6 but the gym pushed her forward. As a result it feels like she's never quite prepared for meets. She has consistently had problems with her bars dismount. The first meet she released too late and over rotated and missed her feet. She did it well in practice but at second meet released early and under rotated and went flying. Then she strained her shoulder and didn't do it for more than a month. Now she is terribly afraid of the dismount and won't even do a cast flyaway tuck much less the giant layout she used to do. How do we help her?

 

[raenndrops]

time and patience and understanding

 

[Lkgymom]

time and patience and understanding

I couldn't agree more. But her bars coach, who is great - not mean or harsh - really thinks she could and should get it for her next meet, which is in a week and a half. Again, making this feel harried. So I don't know what to do. Allow him to push her, ask him to dial back? She's not good at speaking up for herself, despite both our best efforts.

 

[GymMom4]

I couldn't agree more. But her bars coach, who is great - not mean or harsh - really thinks she could and should get it for her next meet, which is in a week and a half. Again, making this feel harried. So I don't know what to do. Allow him to push her, ask him to dial back? She's not good at speaking up for herself, despite both our best efforts.

I know that's hard because we've been dealing with this, too, but I've learned she will get it in her own time, when she is ready. There is really nothing anyone else can do. Unfortunately mine is half way through season and still won't do the skill.

 

[Lkgymom]

I know that's hard because we've been dealing with this, too, but I've learned she will get it in her own time, when she is ready. There is really nothing anyone else can do. Unfortunately mine is half way through season and still won't do the skill.

Is it the same skill/issue? Our season is halfway over too. Luckily she has qualified but states is in two months. That said, I'd really like her to repeat 7. I didn't get it with 6 but hoping we get that chance with 7. I know most parents feel strongly that their keeps should just keep moving up but because mine skipped 5 and was injured most of the year on 6 everything always feels like a scramble. For once I'd like her to feel secure and ready.

 

[NutterButter]

I'm so sorry for your DD! I've been in your shoes. My DD's bar dismount has disappeared a few times. Twice it went missing for several months. The good news is that it will come back but as the others have said, it will need to be on your DD's timeline. My concern with your DD is that she will put tremendous pressure on herself to get the skill back in 1.5 weeks and this will become the focus and she will be set up for disappointment (BTDT with my DD).

I think it would be helpful to check in with the coach and get his take on your DD and work in some advocacy on what approach you think will work best for your DD. I would be inclined to have the coach pull back even if it means scratching (and it sounds like she is in a good position to scratch having already qualified for states and it being mid-season). The thing is, she very well could get the skill back in time but when dealing with a fear that is a moot point because it's really on her terms. Your DD needs to be free to work on the skill without the added baggage of competing it in a week.

 

[Lkgymom]

I'm so sorry for your DD! I've been in your shoes. My DD's bar dismount has disappeared a few times. Twice it went missing for several months. The good news is that it will come back but as the others have said, it will need to be on your DD's timeline. My concern with your DD is that she will put tremendous pressure on herself to get the skill back in 1.5 weeks and this will become the focus and she will be set up for disappointment (BTDT with my DD).

I think it would be helpful to check in with the coach and get his take on your DD and work in some advocacy on what approach you think will work best for your DD. I would be inclined to have the coach pull back even if it means scratching (and it sounds like she is in a good position to scratch having already qualified for states and it being mid-season). The thing is, she very well could get the skill back in time but when dealing with a fear that is a moot point because it's really on her terms. Your DD needs to be free to work on the skill without the added baggage of competing it in a week.

This is EXACTLY my problem. Actually we talked to the coach about pulling out of the last meet (mid-Jan) to remove the pressure but got a lot of push back. Not the bars coach but head coach. In the end, we settled on a bars routine with a lower start value that she could compete comfortably. But instead of going with that one for this one upcoming, he's going back to the giant flyaway. Perhaps because it is out of state. And I think she is paralyzed.

 

[Ali'sMom]

Do you have bars that dismount into a pit?
That is what helped some of our girls as they were learning the giant-layout...

Other than that, just sending support, because paralyzing fears stink!!

 

[Lkgymom]

They do but haven't heard about them using it. Right now he's just doing the release into the dead cow over and over to get her used to WHEN to release. But she won't do it on her own.

Yes, they do. This seems to be the biggest one she has encountered.

Thank you for the support!

 

[flippingtogether]

Hugs and sympathy..... it sucks for all involved.

Time and patience as everyone said. But here is my 2 cents.....if at all possible - if and only if coaches pushing her is heading to disaster - have your DD complete what she is comfortable until she is ready to go where she will ideally be on her own accord. SHE has to want it.

My DD is the slowest gymnast in the history of mankind to do her giant on a competition set high bar.
She's been trying to get confidence to do it forever, but has fought it. Coaches pushed, she froze. Then they let her scratch bars, and she just competed 3 events, which wasn't good for her psyche (she needed to get out there and compete something).
Then, our amazing coach said we are going to think outside the box. (Disclaimer: I thought this wasn't a very good idea at first, but boy was I wrong!!)

Coach developed a routine that includes a giant on the low bar (yep, a valid A skill) and her other required elements. She is actually comfortable doing it on the low bar - even a few months ago she wasn't. This last meet she had a 9.7 start value - but still scored well.
Is it ideal? No, of isn't. But is my DD out there getting bars experience where she is comfortable, so she can grow her skills and confidence from here once the season is over? Absolutely. Her confidence is brimming even though what she is competing looks a bit silly to me. She is a viable AAer which I didn't think she'd have a prayer to be this season.

So.... if your DD is not responding well to pressure and pushing, I highly advocate a plan B where the gymnast is comfortable with some sort of routine so she can be out there. A lower start value is fine. And repeating these levels can be such a great idea!!!

Good luck!!!!!

 

[e'smum]

my dd got over her cast to handstand flyaway (she could the skills separately but a little scared to put it all together) on pit bar during open gyms.
i don't know if your gym offers open gym hours but it's easier to land flyaways in a bed of soft foam with a fear like that. because the older girls use the pit bars the most (scary release moves) dd doesn't get much, if any, time on them during practice. so open gyms are a life saver.

if your dd has qualified for states and this meet is out of state, scratching is not going to hurt anything. i would think less pressure would help her getting the skill back before states.

 

[Ali'sMom]

Does your gym do privates? Does your DD have a certain special coach that she trusts 100%?
That is how my DD got over her handstand to flyaway fear. (practice meet she only went horizontal because she was afraid to do the flyaway out of the handstand. One month later (3 privates with favorite coach who CARES, over Christmas break), and last weekend she came in 1st in bars.
For my DD, it was all about trusting the coach who "wouldn't let her get hurt".

 

[GymMom4]

Is it the same skill/issue? Our season is halfway over too. Luckily she has qualified but states is in two months. That said, I'd really like her to repeat 7. I didn't get it with 6 but hoping we get that chance with 7. I know most parents feel strongly that their keeps should just keep moving up but because mine skipped 5 and was injured most of the year on 6 everything always feels like a scramble. For once I'd like her to feel secure and ready.

Mine is scared to do her layout flyaway out of her giants. Coach has improvised and my DD is doing what flippingtogether said, she is also competing her giants on lowbar and then jumps to high bar, kip cast to handstand, freehip tuck flyaway. It is somewhat unconventional and she is the only one I've seen at meets doing giants on low bar but at least this way she doesn't have to scratch bars and she can still place in AA. She hasn't had stellar scores but one week got a 9 and she has already qualified for States.I'm hoping she can get it before her State meet.

Mine should have repeated 6 but they went ahead and moved her up. She is slower to gain confidence to do new skills. She actually has had her giants since summer at the latest but she didn't work on her flyaway enough before season for her to get over the fear.