Can Fear Issues Rub Off On Other Gymnasts

[gymjourneymom]

Great post MGM! I have read that article before. Lots of great information! But unfortunately there are no easy "cures"...if there were you know I would be shouting "I finally found the answer!!!" from the roof top, lol. My DD's biggest help was Doc Ali's program & privates with a supportive coach. Mostly just doing the skills over & over until SHE feels confident in them.

I agree gymch34 & Notamom, these young gymmies in the OP may not be displaying true fear issues yet. This may just be that they are young & not ready for these skills yet(physically or mentally). They are young for privates, I agree. But I know some gyms with large teams at the lower levels do privates. Just so the kids get some individual attention and grow their love of the sport, not necessarily get advanced skills. Especially shy little ones benefit from getting to know their coaches in a calmer, one on one setting. That can help build that gymmie/coach trust that is always needed. I just think if you are going to do privates, the best use of you time & money is a private, not a 'group' private. 'Group' privates someone always ends up getting more attention & the others feel slighted or ripped off. It becomes more like a regular practice & shyer gymmies can get lost in the group. One on one time with a coach can give them a chance to shine & build confidence. So privates can be helpful in certain situations. But in most cases I don't think the young gymmies need them.

For kids with true fear issues(older kids), I feel that privates with supportive coaches are most beneficial. My DD doesn't not expect to have her fear issues addressed during regular practice, never has expected that. She knows it wouldn't be fair to monoplize the coaches time like that. She doesn't act out or melt down. She just does what she's comfortable with during practice. There's no big "scene" being created at practice that is disruptive to anyone.

DD's fears are addressed during privates, this is when she is pushed to go beyond her comfort level. This is what works for her. She's not holding anyone else back or spreading her 'disease'. Her & her teammates are ALL very supportive of each other. And I'm VERY proud to say my DD is viewed as a LEADER by her teammates & coaches! My DD is thriving in the sport she loves(with alot of work). I feel bad for her old teammates who quit due to fear. They come to watch her at meets & say "Maybe I should have stuck with it". Maybe they would have if they felt someone cared about whether they did or not. And gave them some support & encouragement.

Thanks dunno! I totally respect your posts, I was hoping you would chime in with more detail. You're not a debbie downer, just honest, I repect that. Yes, fear issues have always been around. But I think gymmnasts should feel encouraged that they can over come them with lots of hard work. Not be made to feel they have a 'disease' & are somehow a bother to their team or coaches. I totally agree, patience on everyones part is the key.

My DD is a member of this site. I'd HATE for her to read that this thread(anything to do with fear she WILL read) & come away thinking she is a 'hopeless case' & a 'problem to her coaches & teammates'. She loves the sport & her goal is to make it to L9 by her senior year. I think it's an attainable goal for her. She made state champ again...I think a lot of people would love to catch THAT 'disease' from her.

 

[MdGymMom01]

Getting a bit sidetracked here because there is something that puzzles me a lot that seems to be more unique in the sport of gymnastics (based on the things that I'm familiar with)... Why do some parents and/or coaches feel the need/desire for their kids to excel at such a young age. Is it because of the short career (assuming a full career)? Or, is there something else?

IMHO, at 4 to 6yo, if the kid doesn't get the skills or doesn't want to keep up with the rest, it's clearly that he/she just isn't ready yet (either mentally or physically). Just let it go and give it some time to get there.

Great question NotAMom!! I have seen this as well, especially with some newbies whose gymmies are just starting out and have also pondered the same question. I see this need/desire to excel at the higher levels in cheerleading a LOT. It's like when they finish level 2 in cheerleading (skills are RO BHS and stunting at prep-level (chest-level)) they automatically want to go to level 5 (skills are fulls, and fully extended stunting with double twist dismounts and just all around more advanced skills) the following year . I still talk to some cheer parents and am befuddled as to why they feel the need to rush through the levels often sacrificing good technique and time so that they can "chuck" a full just so that they can say their kid is on a Level 5 team. I do know that Level 5 in cheerleading is very prestigious and it is the main goal of cheerleaders. But, I still don't get why parents want to rush their kids so much and so soon. I mean, what happens after the kid makes a level 5 team at the age of 10??? Are they going to stay at level 5 for the next 8 years untill they graduate HS??? I don't know--maybe it is our society that keeps telling us that more is better and that is why people are so competitive.

 

[Shelovesthebars]

Thank you everyone for responding to this thread.
Sheplaysinthechalk- I am not sure why the 2 parents wanted my dd to share a private but the money and hoping the skill would rub off sound like motivation to do it for them. Honestly, I don't know why and I am not going to ask. Very interesting insight.
Gymch34- I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that the girls should still be having fun and this is their way of letting the coaches know that they aren't ready for what they want them to do. This is great to hear from a coaches point of view. My 4 year old will try ANYTHING and work until she gets it because it is fun for her. She is not having fear issues but some other ones (and they are all 6) are having these issues. Maybe the older you get, the more you have the ability to connect what you are doing to possible danger. Makes sence.
NotAMom- Yes, I too do not get what the hurry is. I honestly notice that it is often quite easier for the girls who begin at around 6 to excell. Heck, one of our level 8 girls going level 9 didn't start until she was 8 and just won the all around at her last meet.
Gymjourneymom- My main focus of this thread is what you are adressing. Forget the whole private thing with a bunch of young gymmies and let's figure out if coaches really think that fear is something that they think they have to contain. If the coach hadn't said anything I wouldn't have known the difference. It is not even something a newbie mom would even be knowledgable about. But the thing is is that I probably wouldn't have done a private anyway with someone just because my daughter is 4.
I will admit that in the past we worked out a one class one private arrangement that worked for my dd but didn't cost me any more than if I had done 2 classes. My dd just didn't fit into any "Class" at the time because of her age vs. skill. She was bored out of her mind. Now she is doing two classes and is having a lot of fun. During class she does alot of the same skills the other kids are doing but she is allowed to do some more diffucult tumbling and bars. She fits in pretty well and has made a lot of friends. It is a good fit now but at the time she did the short privates, it was the right decision.

 

[gymjourneymom]

Just wondering...did the coach actually use the words "fear issues" related to 6yr olds??? If they are being "labeled" already, I find that very disheartening. Pack up your leos poor little 6yrs olds, once your "labeled" the fight becomes so much more difficult on all fronts. As we can see from the some of the views right here. And parents wonder why kids give up & say they want to quit??? No it's not the sport for everyone. But let the kids try, give them a chance & a helping hand...don't drive them away with a "label". JMHO.** sigh**

 

[gymnut1]

Just wondering...did the coach actually use the words "fear issues" related to 6yr olds??? If they are being "labeled" already, I find that very disheartening. Pack up your leos poor little 6yrs olds, once your "labeled" the fight becomes so much more difficult on all fronts. As we can see from the some of the views right here. And parents wonder why kids give up & say they want to quit??? No it's not the sport for everyone. But let the kids try, give them a chance & a helping hand...don't drive them away with a "label". JMHO.** sigh**

Labels can be good or bad - it depends how they affect the way we treat the child. For instance if I know I have a child who is fearful of going backwards then I use that information to adjust how I coach that child. More support, more drills, slower progressions. This knowledge can help me to coach the child well. I think not knowing that information is more of a problem. And yes I do coach 6 year old that show fear already- some of height on beam, some of fast backwards movement and other things. I have not 'labelled' them but I have 'flagged up' in my mind what that child's needs are. That makes me a better coach not a worse one.

I disagree that fear is caused by coaching (I may have read that wrong ) although I'm sure it can be made worse but I do think overcoming fear to gain skills is massively helped by encouraging and supportive coaching. And what a tremendous achievement that is.

 

[gymjourneymom]

Labels can be good or bad - it depends how they affect the way we treat the child. For instance if I know I have a child who is fearful of going backwards then I use that information to adjust how I coach that child. More support, more drills, slower progressions. This knowledge can help me to coach the child well. I think not knowing that information is more of a problem. And yes I do coach 6 year old that show fear already- some of height on beam, some of fast backwards movement and other things. I have not 'labelled' them but I have 'flagged up' in my mind what that child's needs are. That makes me a better coach not a worse one.

I disagree that fear is caused by coaching (I may have read that wrong ) although I'm sure it can be made worse but I do think overcoming fear to gain skills is massively helped by encouraging and supportive coaching. And what a tremendous achievement that is.

I didn't mean to imply that coaching causes the fear issues(well not in most cases). But a coach not addressing them properly when they surface is a deal breaker. It can make or break that trust between the gymnast & the coach. It can send kids out of the sport, who may have been helped with different coaching techniques. Ultimately the gymnast with fear issues needs to have faith in herself & abilities. But to get to that point, the child needs to trust that her coach has faith in her & really wants to help her & see her succeed. The coach needs to help this child build self esteem, not tear it down.

The coaching styles of: yelling, demeaning, kicking these girls out of practice. Are the exact opposite of what should be going on. These may work with some girls. But not all & not usually in the long term. The girls learn to ignore the yelling. They never improve & the coach just gets more frustrated. I've seen it. If yelling is the 'go to technique' for a coach...not a good sign for the gymmie with fear issues. Yes, some coaches treat these girls like they have leprosy..."so the fear doesn't spread". That treatment is what I so strongly object to.

So we agree that identifying "at risk" kids & giving them extra support IS what should be done. But not if the "label" carries with it such negative implications such as...'she is contagious' or 'a bad influence on the team' and that's what I'm reading in this thread. Not that they are to be labeled to get them help...they are labeled to be avoided because they are 'bad apples'.

The fact that a 6yr old may be labeled with such a seemly 'negative' label at that age astounds me. How can it be labeled as "fear issues" at 6yrs old? Has the child even learned enough skills to identify a pattern of "fear issues" at 6yrs old??? I guess my point is...cut the poor kid some slack!!! Give her support & encouragement whether it's fear or if she's just 6yrs old & can't do the skills yet.

 

[tumblerK]

Excellent observations TumblerK!!! Now what is done differently at this gym??? That's what you need to identify & take back your girls. Is it the girls, or is it how they are coached???

I think it has to do with how skills are introduced to the girls or how they see their teammates deal with the skill.

BWO on beam for example. One of my friends who was two levels above me hates them with a passion, as in she would rather do a standing back tuck on the beam than a BWO. She never liked them in the first place, then got stuck in the middle of a BWO in a meet and fell and managed to hit 5 different places on her body on the way down. I started working BWO daily maybe a year later, and I didn't feel comfortable with those on the high beam until the summer after I moved up from level 6 and I finally learned how not to twist... but that's another story... and even now many of the girls in my gym have fear issues with BWO on beam.

On the other hand I remember my coach saying "We're going to work on front handspring front tucks today" and I threw my very first one maybe twenty minutes later. And a couple months later two level 6s had their FHS FTs too because it looked like fun and they decided that was what they wanted to work on during open gym.

I think it's all about starting attitude. This summer we had a couple guest coaches at camp who knew how to spot double backs off of mini tramp. The very first double backs even to be thrown in my gym were thrown that morning. I was mostly coaching at that camp and when I got there later that morning and one of them told me, "we're going to do double backs later!" my first instinct was to say "You're crazy!" but I zipped my lip and they did them just fine.

So yeah. I think it has to do with how coaches introduce the skills that makes all the difference.

 

[slkbeambabe07]

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!! They have spread in our gym like rapid wildfire in our optional levels. Started with a few on BHS on beam, then spreads! We are getting better with doing more repetitions, but DON'T let other gymnasts think it's okay to balk like the other one. I HATE mind blocks, they can kill the most talented gymnast.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Great post MGM! I have read that article before. Lots of great information! But unfortunately there are no easy "cures"...if there were you know I would be shouting "I finally found the answer!!!" from the roof top, lol. My DD's biggest help was Doc Ali's program & privates with a supportive coach. Mostly just doing the skills over & over until SHE feels confident in them.

I agree gymch34 & Notamom, these young gymmies in the OP may not be displaying true fear issues yet. This may just be that they are young & not ready for these skills yet(physically or mentally). They are young for privates, I agree. But I know some gyms with large teams at the lower levels do privates. Just so the kids get some individual attention and grow their love of the sport, not necessarily get advanced skills. Especially shy little ones benefit from getting to know their coaches in a calmer, one on one setting. That can help build that gymmie/coach trust that is always needed. I just think if you are going to do privates, the best use of you time & money is a private, not a 'group' private. 'Group' privates someone always ends up getting more attention & the others feel slighted or ripped off. It becomes more like a regular practice & shyer gymmies can get lost in the group. One on one time with a coach can give them a chance to shine & build confidence. So privates can be helpful in certain situations. But in most cases I don't think the young gymmies need them.

For kids with true fear issues(older kids), I feel that privates with supportive coaches are most beneficial. My DD doesn't not expect to have her fear issues addressed during regular practice, never has expected that. She knows it wouldn't be fair to monoplize the coaches time like that. She doesn't act out or melt down. She just does what she's comfortable with during practice. There's no big "scene" being created at practice that is disruptive to anyone.

DD's fears are addressed during privates, this is when she is pushed to go beyond her comfort level. This is what works for her. She's not holding anyone else back or spreading her 'disease'. Her & her teammates are ALL very supportive of each other. And I'm VERY proud to say my DD is viewed as a LEADER by her teammates & coaches! My DD is thriving in the sport she loves(with alot of work). I feel bad for her old teammates who quit due to fear. They come to watch her at meets & say "Maybe I should have stuck with it". Maybe they would have if they felt someone cared about whether they did or not. And gave them some support & encouragement.

Thanks dunno! I totally respect your posts, I was hoping you would chime in with more detail. You're not a debbie downer, just honest, I repect that. Yes, fear issues have always been around. But I think gymmnasts should feel encouraged that they can over come them with lots of hard work. Not be made to feel they have a 'disease' & are somehow a bother to their team or coaches. I totally agree, patience on everyones part is the key.

My DD is a member of this site. I'd HATE for her to read that this thread(anything to do with fear she WILL read) & come away thinking she is a 'hopeless case' & a 'problem to her coaches & teammates'. She loves the sport & her goal is to make it to L9 by her senior year. I think it's an attainable goal for her. She made state champ again...I think a lot of people would love to catch THAT 'disease' from her.

sorry gymjourneymom. couldn't find fast enough so i posted in the other thread under "stupid mind blocking" something or other.

 

[gymjourneymom]

Thanks for your responses on the other thread dunno! I know you & I have discussed fear issues in other threads, that is why I knew you had a lot more useful info to share. I was hoping you would educate parents, coaches & gymansts by replying. Thank you! We have a lot of newbies here now that may not have read your prior posts. I wanted them to benefit from your experience.

My issue with this particular thread right here is that everyone was agreeing that fear issues are contagious. I also agree they can be. So...what do you do about it??? That is the missing link here! No one is offering any useful advice of how to "stop the spread".

Here is what I'm afraid people will take away from this thread: Fear issues=bad, fear issues= contagious....what's the next logical step in that thought process??? Gymnast with fear issues are to be avoided???? That line of thinking scares me!!! Please tell me that is not what you all are saying.

I wanted to impress on people that gymnasts with fear issues need support & encouragement!!!! They already have low self confidence. Shunning them & making feeling worse about themselves is the exact opposite of what should be taking place. They definitely should NOT be yelled at because they have fear!

They need to be encouraged to to do something, anything close to the skill they are trying to obtain. Progressions...baby steps. Small ATTAINABLE goals need to be set!!! So that they are making progess in some (however small) way each practice. Those baby steps & small goals reached, can then be slowly enhanced to higher levels that are still ATTAINABLE. This is how self confidence blooms!!!! Maybe not all fears can be overcome...but give the kid a chance to try!!! That's my point here.

I'm a nurse & I look at this from a nursing perspective. I have patients that I take care of, they need my help. The changes I ask a patient to make(to help make them healthier) are sometimes very difficult for them to make all at once. So I develop a plan of care for that patient. An individualized plan of care unique to THAT patient.

I break the major changes down into small managable, doable bits for them. Bits that they can accomplish, feel good about & then be ready to make more changes. This is how I feel fear issues need to be addressed. With enormous amounts of patience, support & encouragement and most importantly...small ATTAINABLE goals. Do not pressure them & don't push them too hard or too fast.

The biggest part of this plan is a supportive coach! One who agrees with the plan & HELPS the gymmie carry it out. A gymmie can't do this alone.

Also, no gymnast with fear should be standing doing nothing while others are practicing the 'scary' skill. That is just letting her mind imprint the fear more. She needs to be doing something positive(baby steps toward the skill) to keep her mind focused & not let fear in.

This 'recipe' has been the key to my DD overcoming many fears. I'm not saying it's a 'cure all'. It's just what has helped my DD after much trial & error. I just wanted to share something postive & hopeful regarding fear issues. If you read this far I thank you for enduring another one of my rants. As always my disclaimer...this is all JMHO. Hope it helps someone, somewhere.

 

[MdGymMom01]

I second your post GJM!!! I also wanted to stress that just because a gymnast has a fear issue on one event doesn't mean that they will have fear on all events. Take my dd for example. She has fear on backwards tumbling, but is working through it with lots of repetitions and patience and understanding from her coach. This past meet dd actually got her highest score ever on floor, a 9.15, and placed 4th!! I don't mean to brag, but all of you that have followed dd's story understand the frustration that she has been going through for the past 2 years with the skill. So a placement and a score in the 9's is amazing for her. My dd also is very strong on bars and beam and doesn't seem to have too much fear with those events.

Over the past 2 years I have down played the ROBHS and taken the urgency out of her need to get that skill. I think by doing that it actually helped her gain the confidence to excel at the other events where she is strong. She knows that she can still be a very successful gymnast even though she has some fear on other events. I felt that it was also important to down play her fear skills just so that the fear would not spread to other events. It can be common for fear to be so overwhelming that it can overtake the gymnasts thinking to where they can't focus on any event.

Fear can be overcome--slowly but surely. I think that it is more important to give the gymnast a chance to excell at the other events even though they may not even place on one or another event because of fear. I would hate for my dd to quit the sport because all she thought about was one skill that was keeping her from the AA. What I love about gymnastics is the fact that there are 4 events which are all different and each gymnast has at least one that they excel at regardless of whether they have fear issues.

Fear is something that EVERYONE encounters at some point in their lives. And for these gymnasts who do struggle with fear to go out and face those fears on a daily basis should be commended for their courage. I think they show great spirit and courage NOT to give up on something they love. These kids will go very far in life and many of us can learn a lot from them.

 

[gymgymgymnast08]

From a gymnasts point of view: First of all I do not think they should be called "fear issues." Just because someone is afraid does not mean that they have issues. Everyone gets scared at some point in their career and has mental blocks.
I think that fear is contagious when the team sees one of their teammates get hurt doing a skill. One meet my teammate broke her foot doing a back tuck on beam and then the rest of the team was afraid to compete their back tucks after that. Once we got back to practice the next day, most of the fear was gone.
I think that if the fear just developed without something triggering it, then it is not contagious. I have one teammate who is very afraid of tumbling backwards but it does not seem to affect anyone else. Personally, if I was afraid to try a skill and I saw one of my teammates doing it perfectly fine, that would help me to go for it. I think that not being afraid is contagious. If one person tries something and is fine, others will be a lot less scared to try it. Personally, I think all it takes is one fearless person to get the whole team not afraid.

 

[NotAMom]

...I do not think they should be called "fear issues." Just because someone is afraid does not mean that they have issues. ...

I also think this, particularly for someone at a very young age. To me, an issue is something that is problematic and needs attention to be resolved. For a 4-6yo gymnast who is afraid to do a skill, neither is applicable.

 

[gymnut1]

I also think this, particularly for someone at a very young age. To me, an issue is something that is problematic and needs attention to be resolved. For a 4-6yo gymnast who is afraid to do a skill, neither is applicable.

I would agree with that. I would use the term fear issues for a child who has developed fear of several different skills on different apparatus, usually skills they have previously been able to do. Being afraid to do a new skill is different. That is normal!