Anon CGM reaction or valid complaint?

[Anonymous (26e3)]

I want to say something to the gym owner and/or head coach about this, but I’ve kept it to myself because I don’t want to appear petty and crazy.

Our gym does not usually compete level 6. This year was a little different and my daughter and another girl were deemed not ready to jump from 5 to 7, so the coaches reluctantly decided to try them at 6 at the last minute. The coaches seemed disappointed in my daughter and her teammate but the girls made the best of it. My daughter and her fellow teammate had an incredible season and ended up both winning states in their respective age groups.

On the gym’s Instagram, they have posted a feature every few days celebrating the team’s accomplishments at states and each girls’ placements and scores. They started with optionals, and worked their way down from level 10 to level 7. I thought 6 would be next so I was a little disappointed when I refreshed Instagram one day and they started honoring compulsories from level 3 to 5. Fine, I figured they were batching 6 with them and it would come after level 5.

Except now it’s been 10 days and it’s a month after states and my daughter and her teammate are the only girls who were never recognized. It’s possible it’s an oversight and the owner forgot they had two girls competing level 6. Except part of me thinks they’re never going to post it because they don’t usually compete level 6 and they don’t want college teams thinking that the gym has girls who don’t skip 6. I’m sure I’m over analyzing it but I’m disappointed that my daughter won AA and multiple events at states and isn’t being celebrated like the rest of the girls.

I don’t want to reach out to the owner because I’ll come off as crazy and petty, so I’m venting here instead while refreshing Instagram daily. There has always been some favoritism in my daughter’s workout group so I have trouble seeing this objectively.

 

[JBS]

Simplest way to find out is to just ask the person doing the social media.

 

[Anonymous (d3a5)]

Curious as to why it would matter to college coaches if the gym skipped 6 or did 6? Been around the gymnastics world a good amount of time now, and I have never ever heard of this being a factor.
Also, can you send a pic of your daughter to whoever does the social media and say something such as: here's a pic of ----- she is the level 6 AA champion?

 

[gym_dad32608]

Yes, you are over-analyzing it. I assure you that colleges don't care about gyms and whether or not they skip level 6. And while it is nice to have some random social media post about your daughter's accomplishment at Level 6, in the long run, and grand scheme of it all it means nothing. Keep your eye on the prize so to speak, which is further down the road.

 

[Aussie_coach]

It’s very possible that it was just an oversight because the gym isn’t used to having 6’s. So they have gone onto autopilot and done level 7-elite then 3-5, just because that’s how they always do it.

You won’t be considered a crazy gym Mom if you ask in the right way. Sure, if you go in there and scream at the owner, that would do it.

 

[kzpage]

I'd post the pics of your daughter winning her level on social media and tag the gym - problem solved LOL

 

[GymnastMomX2]

My guess is whoever runs social media is just used to the gym not having a level 6 team and totally forgot, or didn't even know? I'd probably just let it go, but it would definitely bug me too. This does make me glad our gym doesn't post anything on social media, it would be so easy to make someone feel left out, and if no one gets posted, no hurt feelings can happen. Anyways, vent away!!

 

[Anonymous (6c20)]

Yes, you are over-analyzing it. I assure you that colleges don't care about gyms and whether or not they skip level 6. And while it is nice to have some random social media post about your daughter's accomplishment at Level 6, in the long run, and grand scheme of it all it means nothing. Keep your eye on the prize so to speak, which is further down the road.

I get your point but when you are at level 6 then level 6 is your world. I think it's ok to want your daughter's accomplishments to be celebrated. Who knows how far each girl will make it in the sport. I think it makes sense to celebrate each victory.

 

[gym_dad32608]

I get your point but when you are at level 6 then level 6 is your world. I think it's ok to want your daughter's accomplishments to be celebrated. Who knows how far each girl will make it in the sport. I think it makes sense to celebrate each victory.

Sure, but you don't need to celebrate or get validation from a silly social media post from the gym. As mentioned above, if you really feel strongly about it, make your own post and tag the gym. Its certainly not something that I would confront (and even going politely to the owner is confronting someone) the owner asking why my daughter was not on a post. That's the context of the OP's post. Reasonable to be annoyed, but it's definitely not a hill I would die on.

 

[Anonymous (098e)]

Yes, you are over-analyzing it. I assure you that colleges don't care about gyms and whether or not they skip level 6. And while it is nice to have some random social media post about your daughter's accomplishment at Level 6, in the long run, and grand scheme of it all it means nothing. Keep your eye on the prize so to speak, which is further down the road.

I can’t agree. These girls work hard, and to be slighted like that hurts. Yes, I’m talking about them, not the parent. These girls know what’s going on, they see Instagram, etc. In 10 years, no it won’t matter, but it matters now. And they will still remember how it felt to be slighted. I see you’re a dad, a guy, and sometimes it’s hard for guys to understand the female brain, emotions, feelings, etc. It does matter. Whether a gym competes 6 or not does not matter to colleges, but not honoring state champions, when all the others have been honored, does matter.

I still remember how it felt to read the newspaper article about my softball team’s state championship win, and I wasn’t mentioned, even though I had a huge role in that win, while most of my teammates were mentioned, no matter how small a part they had in the game. The coach, also a guy, just said “oh, sorry. I guess I forgot to mention you.” (Now I don’t have a problem with men, don’t go there, it’s just some things matter to girls that don’t matter to boys, that’s all.) I’ve rambled enough.

 

[gym_dad32608]

I can’t agree. These girls work hard, and to be slighted like that hurts. Yes, I’m talking about them, not the parent. These girls know what’s going on, they see Instagram, etc. In 10 years, no it won’t matter, but it matters now. And they will still remember how it felt to be slighted. I see you’re a dad, a guy, and sometimes it’s hard for guys to understand the female brain, emotions, feelings, etc. It does matter. Whether a gym competes 6 or not does not matter to colleges, but not honoring state champions, when all the others have been honored, does matter.

I still remember how it felt to read the newspaper article about my softball team’s state championship win, and I wasn’t mentioned, even though I had a huge role in that win, while most of my teammates were mentioned, no matter how small a part they had in the game. The coach, also a guy, just said “oh, sorry. I guess I forgot to mention you.” (Now I don’t have a problem with men, don’t go there, it’s just some things matter to girls that don’t matter to boys, that’s all.) I’ve rambled enough.

Rigggghhhhttttt. Its ok, but remember the context of the OP question, that the post wasn't made because colleges look at the posts. I obviously have a daughter, to imply that there is somehow some secret other level mental happenings that only women know about is a bit sexist. In the course of a child's gymnastic career, there are going to be many many battles fought by parents trying to advocate and make the best possible outcome for them. My point is, this is just not one of those battles to go to war with (to use a male cliche, lol). You want me to say it sucks for the daughter and mom? Yes, I agree. Who doesn't want to be recognized for their accomplishments real or perceived? But the beauty of social media is that it is democratized, so as suggested by others, make your own post, tag the gym, tag the state agency, tag the local newspaper/tv outlet. That would get probably as many views as anything posted by the gym. It's just Crazy Gym Mom behavior to go confront the owner/coach/social media manager about your Level 6 "not getting some kind of post for her state meet!"

 

[Anonymous (098e)]

Rigggghhhhttttt. Its ok, but remember the context of the OP question, that the post wasn't made because colleges look at the posts. I obviously have a daughter, to imply that there is somehow some secret other level mental happenings that only women know about is a bit sexist. In the course of a child's gymnastic career, there are going to be many many battles fought by parents trying to advocate and make the best possible outcome for them. My point is, this is just not one of those battles to go to war with (to use a male cliche, lol). You want me to say it sucks for the daughter and mom? Yes, I agree. Who doesn't want to be recognized for their accomplishments real or perceived? But the beauty of social media is that it is democratized, so as suggested by others, make your own post, tag the gym, tag the state agency, tag the local newspaper/tv outlet. That would get probably as many views as anything posted by the gym. It's just Crazy Gym Mom behavior to go confront the owner/coach/social media manager about your Level 6 "not getting some kind of post for her state meet!"

I wish your replies weren’t so condescending, it would be much easier to have a conversation with you. Saying things like “ perceived” accomplishments demeans the gymnast. And it’s not Crazy Gym Mom behavior to ask about it.

 

[gym_dad32608]

I wish your replies weren’t so condescending, it would be much easier to have a conversation with you. Saying things like “ perceived” accomplishments demeans the gymnast. And it’s not Crazy Gym Mom behavior to ask about it.

Yet, I am the one that is not hiding behind an anonymous posting? Perhaps its because I am an academic, I do not mean to be condescending but I also understand bias both internal and external, hence my statement. We all have biases, its a fact, so yes, someone can have a real accomplishment or perceived one. I am not saying one is more valid than the other, both are valid, certainly from an individual standpoint. But in application, there are real accomplishments, and perceived ones.

This is a message board, a free exchange of opinions, I tend to be very logic to a fault. I am also big contrarian or there "are always both sides" type of person. As I see so much on most boards there really tends to be a group think, once one general theme is chosen. The fact that most scenarios posted here are presented with limited information culled by the poster and their bias (intentional or unintentional) and only one side should be a red flag to anyone trying to draw some type of conclusion. As with any research, you are trained to immediately find holes. Most of my posts in these cases tend to try to challenge the groupthink to stop and consider that there genuinely could be some other explanations. Anyway, now I am the one rambling.

 

[GymnastMomX2]

I’d have to agree with gymdad here. You can be upset, and like I said in an earlier post it would probably bug me a little too, but actually going and complaining about it is completely full on crazy gym mom territory.

 

[Anonymous (a91b)]

Yet, I am the one that is not hiding behind an anonymous posting? Perhaps its because I am an academic, I do not mean to be condescending but I also understand bias both internal and external, hence my statement. We all have biases, its a fact, so yes, someone can have a real accomplishment or perceived one. I am not saying one is more valid than the other, both are valid, certainly from an individual standpoint. But in application, there are real accomplishments, and perceived ones.

This is a message board, a free exchange of opinions, I tend to be very logic to a fault. I am also big contrarian or there "are always both sides" type of person. As I see so much on most boards there really tends to be a group think, once one general theme is chosen. The fact that most scenarios posted here are presented with limited information culled by the poster and their bias (intentional or unintentional) and only one side should be a red flag to anyone trying to draw some type of conclusion. As with any research, you are trained to immediately find holes. Most of my posts in these cases tend to try to challenge the groupthink to stop and consider that there genuinely could be some other explanations. Anyway, now I am the one rambling.

Winning a level 6 state title is a perceived achievement?

 

[Anonymous (ed8e)]

Funny to read this and realize that it has definitely bothered me deep down that the same thing has happened to my kid - twice. She won AA at states two years in a row in addition to holding the state title in several events. Our gym makes IG posts for every state/reg/nat meet winner but literally TWO years in a row has not included my child in the brags. Why? No clue. The social media person is actually my kid's coach and they have a fabulous relationship. It hurts my kid's feelings and clearly makes me a little sore, but like someone said above...I'm not going to die on that hill. I make excuses to my kid (you were in the last session, you were the only kid in that session, etc etc) and hope she never takes it as a personal slight. I encouraged her to remind her coach to include her win on the IG if it was really important to her (she did not). But really, I get it. It stinks for the child to feel unrecognized.

The bigger reason I'm choosing to comment is more because I'm looking at what @gym_dad32608 wrote about real v perceived achievements. I do not know if he and I share the same interpretation of the difference but in mulling it over, I started to recognize that there is a difference and that the difference varies kid to kid.

The real achievement for my kid is that after being pretty much dead last in nearly every meet two seasons ago and after having two surgeries, she worked her butt off and crushed her next two seasons...including winning back to back state titles. Had she not won states, her achievement for the season is no less real. The perceived achievement in her case would have been to be featured on the gym's IG for winning. Being left of the IG page, however, makes her achievement no less real.

The real achievement for another child could be working hard and competing a certain skill, competing all four events, hitting all four events, etc etc etc. while the perceived achievement could be actually winning states. For example my kid has a teammate who was pretty much expected to win states and make the state team for regionals. She is so good that even with a fall, this is still a realistic expectation for her. So to win is likely more just a perceived achievement while she'd report that her real achievement was that she competed mostly level 8 skills on bars and floor successfully.

Okay. I will stop now! I'm waxing quite unpoetically about all of this!