Parents Comments about body shape on 8 year old

[Delilah_gymnast]

My daughter is a competitive gymnast and is 8 years old. She isn't tiny - but her BMI is on the lower end of normal range. She has a fab six pack and is very muscular but her coach has made a comment (only to me) about her carrying too much fat around her bottom. She eats a very healthy diet, trains 18 hours a week and swims as well but I think it may just be her build. I'm not sure what I can do. I don't think it's fair to make comments like that that make zero difference to her actual gymnastics and only make her (in the coaches words) not look as pretty in competitions. What would you do?

 

[amiandjim]

Personally, I would tell the coach that it is inappropriate for him/her to comment on your daughter’s weight or build and that if you hear it again, you will be taking her elsewhere.

 

[RTT2]

My response to that would appear as **** *** on this site.

 

[claudidoll]

We left a gym that had a senior coach make comments about my daughters body. That's not an ok topic of conversation, ever

 

[l.c.o]

Red flag. I'd probably be concerned beyond the comment's face value.

 

[honu]

Certainly not appropriate to make that comment to you or anyone. I am glad that it was not said directly to your DD. If you have a good relationship with the coach and you are otherwise happy with the gym, I would express your concern and let the coach know that you are uncomfortable with comments about your DDs body shape. Reiterate that she is healthy, happy, and enjoying gymnastics and you do not want her to lose confidence and joy by hearing negative remarks about her body shape. Sometimes people say things without thinking. It does not make it right or less offensive, but I think the first response should be to make the coach aware of how the comment impacts you and could impact your DD. If the coach is not responsive or continues to make body comments than I agree it is better to look for other options.

 

[sce]

Personally, I would tell the coach that it is inappropriate for him/her to comment on your daughter’s weight or build and that if you hear it again, you will be taking her elsewhere.

I agree completely with this.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I take it that at 18 hours a week at 8 she is a compulsory gymnast?

Firstly 18 hours a week is a lot at 8, unless she is stuffing her face with cakes and chocolate ever other waking second she is not overweight.

Some gyms compulsory programmes can be very harsh, and they will select for body type. If this is your gym you have the option to either put up with it or move, the coach wont change their attitude.

To me its a red flag, but as a parent its your responsibility to watch the way the coach interacts with your daughter and go fro there.

Was it said as a "reason" she may not score as well, or is there an underlying culture of body shaming ? Only you can tell.

If you are worried, and you are in an urban area, there will be other clubs who can help your daughter excel.

 

[jennyj]

I would also be concerned that his/her comment to you might not have been the first time, maybe some comments have also been said to your daughter during practice when you're not around. I personally wouldn't keep my dd in that kind of environment if I have any doubts like that, espeacially since she is normal weight and healthy as you mentioned.

 

[Aussie_coach]

If she has a 6 pack and is still at the low end of BMI she is not anywhere near the overweight catagory. Muscle weighs more than fat so often really toned kids have higher BMI's than you would expect.

I would be concerned about this, right now she is only 8 but as she goes through puberty these unrealistic expectations are more than likely going to be relayed to her at some point not just you. At that vulnerable age eating disorders can become rampant.

 

[RTT2]

If she has a 6 pack and is still at the low end of BMI she is not anywhere near the overweight catagory. Muscle weighs more than fat so often really toned kids have higher BMI's than you would expect.

Yeah, the problem is definitely not with the 8yo girl's body. I would be extremely concerned about the coach's comment. I'd follow up with him to fully understood what he meant that she is "carrying too much fat around her bottom"- is he suggesting she diet? do squats? have lipo? Ultimately, if body weight is a big issue for him in a strong 8yo gymnast I would look for another gym.

 

[LindyHopper]

What would you do?

Gut instinct? Find another coach, and If that's not possible find another gym.

But that's my gut instinct, and I know life isn't always that simple.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Muscle doesn't weigh more then fat.

A pound is a pound

 

[duyetanh]

Muscle does weigh more than fat, but who the hell cares, she is 8! Not ok. Not. Ok. At all.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Muscle does weigh more than fat, but who the hell cares, she is 8! Not ok. Not. Ok. At all.

No, it really doesn't. A pound is a pound is a pound. But! Muscle is more compact than fat, so a pound of muscle takes up less room than a pound of fat, and a muscular person is heavier without necessarily looking bigger.

ETA: but I agree with the sentiment. Even if she were straight up chubby- she's 8 and it's inappropriate.

 

[duyetanh]

No, it really doesn't. A pound is a pound is a pound. But! Muscle is more compact than fat, so a pound of muscle takes up less room than a pound of fat, and a muscular person is heavier without necessarily looking bigger.

ETA: but I agree with the sentiment. Even if she were straight up chubby- she's 8 and it's inappropriate.

Yes, thank you, that is what I meant, but I am struggling today with saying what I mean, lol. Thank you for the better explanation.

 

[gymisforeveryone]

I would go to the club director / gym owner and ask if they are aware of their staff making such comments about young, developing kids' bodies and if they are, is this kind of "coaching" compatible with their clubs values? If not, I would ask them to do something about the issue. I don't know how it works in the UK but if that happened here in Finland and the coaches and the club refused to take actions to stop that kind of abusive behavior the next place to contact would be the national gymnastics federation (so British Gymnastics in the UK).

This whole thing about coaches commenting young girls' bodies is a problem here in Finland also and especially with the Eastern European coaches coming from a different culture. Now the Finnish Gymnastics federation is starting to take actions, educate the coaches and make this issue show more in the social media and in their own publications. Unfortunately we've lost too many gymnasts in this country to anorexia and some have even died.

I'm thankful that my club takes this issue seriously, even if we don't have any foreigner coaches. We'll be having a conference for coaches about nutrition and preventing eating disorders next week.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

A pound is a pound.

It's density and space.

https://images.search.yahoo.com/ima...11d23j3ef&.crumb=ZzCH5FCyjuq&fr=yfp-hrtab-900

 

[raenndrops]

Muscle doesn't weigh more then fat.

A pound is a pound

Muscle is more dense than fat. Yes, a pound is a pound... but a pound of muscle takes up less volume than a pound of fat. That is what people mean when they say muscle weighs more than fat.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Muscle is more dense than fat. Yes, a pound is a pound... but a pound of muscle takes up less volume than a pound of fat. That is what people mean when they say muscle weighs more than fat.

Yes I know what they mean. But it is incorrect to say muscle weighs more than fat. And only adds to confusion about what "weight" is. About what "healthy" is.