Parents Competition Readiness (another long post from me)

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EmmasMommy

My daughter will be 6 in November and her coaches plan to move her from pre-team to level 2 in the doubt her physical readiness. I know there are girls who compete younger than that, and my daughter has all the skills she needs to compete with. She also already know the floor and bars routine. I know she would have plenty of time to improve those skills before competition. She's even recently learned a backhand spring on the trampoline . . . except she doesn't need that right now. What she needs more than new skills is more maturity. That is where I'm concerned.

We used to have some problems with her behavior. Nothing major, and I won't bore you all by recapping, but she is doing much better now. All the coaches love working with her and say she has changed so much. But I worry about her being able to focus during competition. Not rushing through things, not goofing off and getting silly (trust me, I'm all for having some silly time, but I want her to understand that team competition isn't just about her, it's about being part of a TEAM and representing your team). I wonder how well she would be able to do something without the constant reminders from her coaches. I've seen some competitions and the little girls seem focused and all doing what they are supposed to be doing. Maybe my perception is off.

I know a lot can change between now and a year from now, so this might not end up being an issue, but I guess that's what I'm asking. The coaches don't seem to be concerned so maybe I'm worried over nothing. Either way, I trust her coaches to know when she is both physically AND emotionally ready, and I hear that the coaches work with the young ones to get them ready, ut I am still curious what to expect.

I guess this is more about parenting than gymnastics. I have two other children, and one is older, but he has autism so even though he is 7 and she is 5 1/2, it's more like she is the oldest, so this is my first experience with typical child development. I just don't know how much to expect a child to mature between 5 1/2 or 6 to 6 1/2. Currently, she tends to be very silly. Like hanging on the side of equipment when it's not her turn, "racing" people to be first in line (I guess to be fair, the other person is racing is her to), purposefully "falling" after she does a trick because she thinks it's funny. Things like this make me wonder how she is going to stay focused for a meet and do her routine without goofing off. Also sometimes she gets grumpy and refuses to do things all together (this is RARE these days and seem to be connected to sinus headaches and not wanting to go upside down when she has one, which is just another thing we are trying to take care of, but is still not an excuse for getting grumpy with her coaches).

Another one of her main issues is she doesn't take failure/corrections well on the spot. (She's fine after the fact. Like she will get grumpy (sometimes! not all the time!) for a correction on her form, but then come home and practice to fix it, then be fine at the next practice.) Yet if you tell her she did a good job, she'll often say, "No, I did it wrong," and want to try it 100 more times until she gets it perfect. (She's not unhappy when she does this, though. She's usually in really great mood and smiling and not at all upset that she messed up, she just wants to do it better.) But if SOMEONE ELSE tells her she needs to fix something, that is when she *sometimes* gets grumpy and will give up. She is starting to understand that the reason her coaches correct her is so that she can get it right faster, and as she's starting to understand that her coaches are the ones who are helping her with this feedback, she is getting less and less upset by it. I can imagine though that she could be in the middle of a competition and want to retry something multiple times, or getting upset that that isn't an option and "giving up". Maybe that won't happen, maybe I worry too much. She's really smart, really strong, really sweet, and generally a motivated, well-behaved little girl. But her "off days" it's like dealing with a 3 year old sometimes.

She LOVES gymnastics a tremendous amount and has been given the option to do it recreationally but she prefers being on the team and WANTS to join the competitions. I just want her to understand that if she wants to do this she is making a commitment to her team. On one hand, that seems like a BIG THING to ask for a 5 or 6 year old, but on the other hand other girls seem to be doing it just fine. Every kid is different, etc etc. But is this more common than I realize? Is it something she will likely overcome? Is this something coaches don't usually have a problem working worth or something they are experienced in dealing with? And what can I do, if anything, or is this just a matter of waiting it out? I know this is important to her and I trust her coaches, but I feel like if she is prepared it will better experience for her.

So . . . yeah, I'm just curious to hear other similar stories or any ideas on what to expect. Has anyone experienced this with their little one or known any kids who were the same way but grew out of it? Or do they pull it together for the competition? Or have there been disasters with young kids at meets? Is this normal for her to be this way at 5 1/2? the other girls on her team seem to be a little more mature, but most of the girls she practices with are older. Are there things I can do to help her with readiness?
 
In brief, because I'm hurrying but you sound as though you need reassurance:

Your daughter will mature a huge amount in the next year, I can virtually promise that! There is a massive difference between a just post toddler five and a half year old and a little girl of six and a half/seven who has been at school a while. At some point during this time they stop thinking the entire world revolves around them and realise that other people have feelings and needs. Don't get me wrong, that happens at different stages in all children (and in some never!) but it definitely makes big strides at this time.

I recently watched the littlies in our club compete (age 5-7). They did amazingly and were so cute. Not one acted up, or wandered off or 'let the team down'. To be honest most of them just looked a bit bewildered by the people watching and the coaches guided gently and were with them the whole time. Some were remarkably composed. When it comes to it her coaches will know exactly what to do and will go through it all with her and I really don't think you need to worry.

My daughter is 7 and my eldest son is also autisic, so I can understand very well how it feels to have a second child, but feel as though you are still learning things for the first time. I had another inbetween my eldest and my 'gymnast', but I recognise the feelings well.


Honestly though, it doesn't sound as though she is doing anything in class which you wouldn't expect of many/most five year olds. (My second one looked like he was being naughty until I realised he was just doing normal stuff and my eldest just never really did that silly stuff. ) She's having fun and sounds as though she is still doing really well or she wouldn't be moving to team. That's great!

Relax! It's a long time and she will mature loads and her coaches will know how to handle it. She's doing great and I don't think you have anything to worry about :)
 
I can remember taking my DD to pre-school gym when she was 4. She was awful, constant tantrums, hiding behind the equipment sulking, refusing to do anything. Back then she also used to run past all the other kids to get to the front of the line! At 6 she went in her first novice competitions and she was very serious and focussed. At 7 she did her first competitive WAG competitions. She has always been a good performer, very focussed. She is still temperamental and has tantrums and sulks with me sometimes, but hardly ever at gym or school. She still does silly things at times, like the deliberate flopping which makes me worry she'll hurt herself. She went through a phase of getting anxious when she thought the coach was 'yelling' at her. She still gets upset when she can't do something and gives up easily. I have talked with her a lot about persevering and 'chipping away' at skills and given her lots of encouragement, and I think she has improved over time.

I would say don't worry too much about your DD. She will likely learn what she has to do as she goes along. You could talk to her gently now and then without making a big deal or lecture out of it. Ensure she understands the expectations at a competition. Give her lots of encouragement. I think she will be fine.
 
DD had just turned six in her first competition, driving to the venue she announces that she has "totally forgotten the beam routine so don't think I will do beam today MUm" I was thinking of gosh how much of a disaster is this going to be? Turned out fine when we got there, coach reminded her of the routine and she ended up finishing 5th AA.
She was focused, much more than I had ever seen during training and much more than I was expecting.

Like the above posters have said a year makes a big difference.
 
I just don't know how much to expect a child to mature between 5 1/2 or 6 to 6 1/2.
Quite a lot (relatively speaking). It's harder to see the progress as a parent because you see them every single day. Have any nieces or nephews that you see once or twice a year? So much easier to see it there. I teach Sunday School, and the difference between the grade levels is huge. K to 1st is a big jump (5/6 year old to 6/7 year old). 1st to 2nd is a big jump. 2nd to 3rd is still a good sized jump.

Currently, she tends to be very silly. Like hanging on the side of equipment when it's not her turn, "racing" people to be first in line (I guess to be fair, the other person is racing is her to), purposefully "falling" after she does a trick because she thinks it's funny. Things like this make me wonder how she is going to stay focused for a meet and do her routine without goofing off. Also sometimes she gets grumpy and refuses to do things all together (this is RARE these days and seem to be connected to sinus headaches and not wanting to go upside down when she has one, which is just another thing we are trying to take care of, but is still not an excuse for getting grumpy with her coaches).

I can't remember the exact chronology of it now, but I'll try to work myself backwards to approximate ages. DD started doing gymnastics in preschool (3 or 4, I'd guess). It was largely play time, at least I thought it looked that way. It seemed to me like she played more than the other kids and was more of a distraction than the other kids. They moved her up (Little Stars, Super Starts, Hot Shots, etc). In Kindergarten, she broke her arm because she was fooling around too much - she fooled around *a lot*. There was even one 6 month period in which I think DD basically did push ups through practice every day because that particular coach had girls do that when the fooled around too much. She'd do one skill, then fool around then push ups. Repeat throughout class. We were always amazed that she was excited to go back and that the gym didn't tell us to leave.

In spite of all that, they wanted her on Level 4 pre team (at this point, she's 6 and will turn 7 before the first meet). DD was nervous about it, but wanted to do it anyway. Eight months or so of fooling around with the level 4 girls (many of them were repeating a year, so there was a very obvious skill gap between them and DD), and it comes to meet season. Talk amongst the parents is about how my DD doesn't know the beam routine and can't remember it. Two weeks out from the first meet, and the coach videotapes another girl doing it, writes down all the steps for me and tells me to go over it with DD at home using a line on the floor. DD can't focus for anything and can't seem to remember it at all. I try to go through it with her, but I have very little idea what I'm looking at or talking about.

First meet rolls around, and we're pretty sure she knows most of the routine. I don't remember her score, but her AA was a 32 point something (that was the state qualifying score, and I remember that she just barely qualified for state at that meet), so she completed beam and the other routines. She was oblivious to the scores and the placement for awards. She got participation medals and thought they were really cool. Plus, she got to dress up in a fancy leotard and warm up. Was she fully focused and attentive during the meet? No. Was she a lot like other little girls out there that day? Yes. She settled down a bit at meets over the course of the season, and at one point, she finally asked about the scores and why some girls got trophies. We even got to teach her about fractional numbers. She would only remember the first digit of her scores because they hadn't learned about fractions in school. She would say "I got an 8 and so did that girl. Why did she beat me?". It was cute.

She certainly wasn't there yet when she started on team, but I'm sure the coaches knew what they were asking for. They're using to teaching gymnastics to little kids.
 
In short, she sounds like a 5 1/2 year old. Don't worry Level 2 and Level 3 (and to a large degree Level 4 too) are "fun" developmental levels that some gyms (not all) do to get kids ready and learn about competition. She will change a lot in a year-- yes, but don't sweat the small stuff in the low levels- trust her coaches opinion and let them, and her, do what they are going to to. No ones life (or gymnastics career- lol) was ever ruined b/c they had an immature year as a Level 2 or 3 gymnast. She should be having fun, is she? If she is she is on the right track.
 
You all gave me exactly the reassurance I needed. Thank you! Sometimes I feel like she is the most immature girl in her group, but I try to remember she's the youngest AND I'm focused on her, not everyone else's kids (that's not to say I don't notice the other kids. The moms at the gym are all friendly and we often cheer on each other's kids and comment on their improvement or a skil lwell done) but, we still naturally focus on our own kids the most, so it's possible I see my daughter's problems but am blind to behaviors of other kids.

I really, really appreciate the reassurance. Thanks again :) I feel a lot more confident now that she will be fine when the time comes!
 
Over the next year, she'll start 1st grade(?) and have more time in a structured team program in the gym. I think you'll see a big change in her overall behavior and maturity. Just like physical growth, emotional and psychological growth is very individual---just when you think you have her figured out, she'll change it up on you.
I would just take it 1 day at a time and enjoy it all.
 
Thanks gymlaw :) I just needed to hear it from someone else, I think, that she will grow. She missed the school cut off date last year, so this will be kindergarten for her in the fall Other than gymnastics, she's never been in any structured class environment, so that alone might help her a lot. We are lucky that she already knows all of the kindergarten school curriculum and most for 1st grade, so she can spend the first 2 years in school focusing on learning to be in the setting without having to worry much about academics.
 
I haven't read the responses yet, but except for the paragraph about how your daughter takes corrections, you described my daughter exactly. Mine is a year older than yours (will be 7 in October). She's done pre-team for 2 years and has almost all the skills to move to Level 4 but I doubt they'll move her up due to her focus. It's really frustrating. She REALLY wants to move to team because her coach has been talking about it a lot with her group lately. She's going to be so upset when most of her friends move up and she doesn't.

We talk about her focus and paying attention before every class...and also on the days in between. She likes to talk, she flops around (which drives me crazy...especially when she makes herself wobble on the beam so that she can jump off. I'm not looking forward to the day she finally hurts herself doing this.), she doesn't stay in line. It drives me crazy. I wouldn't care if she needed to do pre-team again due to not having the skills, but when it's due to her not paying attention...that frustrates me, especially because I know she wants to move up so bad.

So, I don't have any advice for you but just wanted to tell you I understand how you feel. If it does make you feel better, I have seen change for the better in this past year. She does have more focus and attention span than she did a year ago, but still not enough in her coach's eyes.
 
Thanks for commiserating with me, ejgy! At least we are not alone and it sounds like there is still hope!
 
My daughter competed three this year and is much the same way. One thing I've noticed about her is that, no matter how I remind her, she does not equate hard work with success yet. That concept is just beyond her. Competitions start in August, and that is a lifetime away for her. I used to worry about focus and behavior (mine does all that you've described), but now I worry more about burn out. She's in first grade and has gym four hours a day three days a week. When she's done, she literally eats, and foes to bed. She gets very little playtime during the week and I know she would like to spend more time playing with her dolls or riding her bike.
 
At our gym, we do not compete until Level 5. We have different levels in developmental, with the one prior to L5 being 'pre-team' (so L3/L4). When they moved my dd to pre-team this past January, I thought they were crazy. She was a complete goof. Their reasoning: give her more time in the structured pre-team level (this mom is hoping she stays there 2 years) to help her focus rather than keeping her in the lower levels with less hours in the gym and less conditioning. They thought she could handle it - I didn't. Five months later with a newly minted 6 year old and I'm amazed. She focuses on the coaches and for the most part does what they say (she is 6 - so no miracles). I have learned that when it comes to gymnastics - trust the coaches.
 
Honestly she sounds like your average 6yo learning a new skill who can be distracted (which is normal too). If the coaches aren't worried I would say they have it under control and for you not to worry unless they say something to you. I think your description deacribes half the 6yo's out there taking gymnastics. Just take a deep breath and relax if there is an issue the coaches will have a meeting and address it with you (if they are good). They all hang on the equipment and run to be first can be distracted and doesn't always take corrections its part of being a kid (even a focused gymnast) to want to just fool around you probably don't notice it in the other kids because they aren't your kids.

She will be fine and welcome to the wonderful world of team here is your glass of Koolaid :)
 
Time will likely cure most of the behavioral issues. I should introduce you to my youngest daughter. She's 8 and just finished her first USAG year at Level 4. Before that she did a year at Level 3 and another at Level 4 in GIJO (it's an IL program that uses the USAG program but is a little less intense when it comes to scoring.). During her Level 3 year, she failed to do two vaults at a meet because the carpet had a bump in the middle that she didn't like. After about 5 minutes of discussion with her coaches (or it seemed like it to me), they wisely decided to scratch the second vault. Last year, we never knew what vault she would do, sometimes she did the Level 3 vault instead of the Level 4. Form on floor was questionable at all times. Beam, well, if she felt off balance, off she went. But she loved it so she continued.

This year, doing the second Level 4 year but in the USAG system, I was nervous. I knew she'd get a lot more deductions. However, she matured. She routinely took first on floor at her meets. She actually got at least one first on vault. Her beam was lovely. Bars still needed work but she made huge progress. She can still be a goofy kid, at state, I watched her sit by the floor and air drum to the music that was playing. She's still my goof at home and at practice but she can bring when its time to compete. So give your daughter time, she's still very young yet.
 
Thanks :)

Her gym competes AAU for levels 2 and 3 and USAG for levels 4 + up. Does that sound okay? I don't know much about competition gymnastics, to be honest, but from what I've heard this is the best gym in our area and we love the coaches. They seem to do well at all their competitions and my daughter has grown a lot with them, but naturally I am curious what is the norm.

So far I know their pre-team practices for 1 hour, 1 time a week. The class she is in now is 1 hour, 2 times a week, but since it's not competitive, maybe that is pre-team, too. (They call it team, though, maybe just to separate the payment schedule on that class?). In the summer, the girls moving up will practice 1 1/2 hours each, 2 times a week. Then in the fall, those moving up to level 2 will practice 2 hours, 2 times a week. Does that sound right?

I don't know how often they practice after that, but the higher level girls I think practice 16 hours a week.

I think level 2 is good for her, maturity-wise, but skills wise she is always seeking more of a challenge. Her group is working on bridge kick-overs still (off an elevated mat) while she's doing back walkovers and back handsprings. She's only been in gymnastics for about a year now, so a lot can happen in the next 3-6 months, but I'm pretty sure they'll hold to their thought of moving her up after the summer.
 
It sounds like you're describing my daughter! My DD is 7 and competed level 3 last season. She is very high energy and likes to play around a lot. She is definitely not focused yet, not at all. So her scores did suffer quite a bit because she rushed through routines and didn't always have straight legs, pointed toes, etc. Does it really matter? Nope, it's level 3. I look at it like a fun introduction to gymnastics where she can get comfortable performing in front of people at meets. She loves it. :) I'm hoping that she gets some focus and maturity over the summer. We're actually in the process of switching gyms- I've got a whole long thread about it :), and we have found that some coaches really like having the energetic playful kids and others get frustrated by it. The HC at the new gym we are moving to said that he loves getting the little ones that are full of energy and channeling that energy into the sport. Other coaches won't put those kids on team because they want them to be more mature first.

I wouldn't worry about your DD at all. As you've read most of us went through the same thing with our girls. I'm still dealing with my little crazy one :).
 

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