Parents Daughter wants to quit.....

[cocoamommy]

Hello,

I'm here looking for some advice. My DD just turned 6 (2 weeks ago) and is in level 1 gymnastics. She's been in gymnastics since age 2 and always seemed to love it. Last night she told DH and I that she wants to quit. She's been sick on and off for the past month, and her gym was closed for 2 weeks during the holidays. So she hasn't been to practice in a month. I'm thinking she's just getting lazy and if we gently push her back to practice then she will get into the groove of things. We pay per 10 sessions, so she still has 6 session to go. We do plan on making her finish out those sessions. She only goes once a week for 1 hour. So it's not like it's a long practice. She's the youngest and smallest in her class so I'm just wondering if that's why she's getting frustrated. She's made pretty good progress in the last year, and I'm really afraid if we just let her quit then she will regress and lose all the skills that she's learned. I have a feeling if we let her quit, she'll eventually want to start back then will be even more discouraged because she's lost everything.

We did have to switch gyms about 2 years ago. Her first gym was a dance studio/gym and she started out there in the tiny tumblers class. Over the course of the two years she really got close to her coach and the teammates. When she turned 5 they wanted her to go into the "big gym" and she really enjoyed that, but the schedule they had wouldn't work for DH and I because we both work. We switched to another gym for about a year but it was a far drive. Once she hit certain skills they wanted her to go on pre-team for 1.5 hours 2 times a week. With the drive we wouldn't have gotten home until after 9:00. We couldn't do that being her starting school.

So, we found a great gym closer to us, but she doesn't seem to like it as much. I have to admit though, they are way better than the previous gyms we have been to. They have some of the highest ranking gymnast in our county, so I know they are doing something right. Anyway, sorry to get off track. My question is should we keep pushing her to go or let her quit? DH says to just let her quit because she's been wanting to try karate. We can't do both because of our schedules. Any ideas?

 

[bookworm]

She's 6 and basically still in rec...let her quit and do other things

 

[sglemon]

Re-evaluate at the end of this session. A lot can happen in 6 weeks at this age.

 

[krisnkids]

Let her quit. If she loves gymnastics she will be begging to go back in a few months. If its not her thing, she will find something new.

 

[Jaks]

My daughter had 2 week break from gymnastics over Christmas ( 1 week off and the secret week we were away). My dd is 6 and 2 months. During the Christmas break she said that she wanted to quit gymnastics and trampolining and she continued to say, that she wanted to quite trampolining so I said that I would take her on that day and if she still wanted to quit she could, we both agreed that she gave it another try as I had already paid for it ( both gymnastics and trampolining). My dd was ok with gymnastics but didn't want to do trampolining - not even one last time, she asked to do another gymnastics session instead ( same time and same price ), we just switched over. My dd was not very well in the lead up to Christmas with a cough that just didn't want to go away, and it made her tired as well.

I must admit that I did have to bribe my dd to try gymnastics again as I had already paid, she went in and enjoyed herself and had now turned into a show off at home and wants to show her splits and cartwheel and round off to her uncle when he comes round and she keeps asking to practice them but I managed to distract her. I am picking her up a thick mat up today so she can practice splits and maybe the odd cartwheel.

 

[rsm]

We've been in the situation, mostly for other activities with DS. My rule is, we already paid for the classes so unless they're sick or hurt, we'll see those classes through, and then they can choose something else if they like. As long as they are doing something active, it doesn't matter to us so much what it is. Luckily so far DD has chosen gymnastics over other activities, although there were times when it seemed she might pick something else (especially when all her friends started playing soccer). But the more she does it, the more hooked she gets, so there's no discussion anymore about quitting, but you never know what can happen.

 

[MaryA]

Yes, I would make my DD finish out the 6 weeks I had already paid for, but if she still wants to quit at the end of that, let her. My girls (twins) worked their way through a number of things... My one daughter would say, "I want to do dance" and her always agreeable sister would say, "OK, dance." And they'd do a session of dance and at the end I'd hear "I want to do ice skating" and her sister would agree. We finally got to gymnastics, and at the end of that session, when DD1 said, "I want to do dance again." her sister, for once, said, "No way! I'm sticking with gymnastics!" And she did. And DD1 ended up sticking with dance that time around. Probably your DD will find something that sticks too (and if she doesn't, as long as she's active and healthy and happy, it's not a big deal either) and if it's gymnastics, great! But if you force her to stick with it when she is telling you she wants to be done, that's a pretty sure way of making sure that it won't be gymnastics. It has to be her passion, not yours.

 

[lhmom]

I'm with the others. I would tell her that she has to finish out the amount of time that you've paid for and if she wants to quit after that, then OK. I am a firm believer in having kids try different activities at this age. Even though DD has been on team for 3 years, I have encouraged her to try other things when we can fit them in. Of course you may find that once she gets back into practicing, she'll want to stay.

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

My DD went through the same thing a few years ago. I made her finish the session she had committed to- at the end I asked her if she wanted to be done or sign up for more and surprise- she wanted to sign up again. Have her finish the sessions out and then ask if she still wants to quit, if she does don't force her not to, let her explore other things- she may want to come back some day.... or may not. Some kids just aren't that into gymnastics, even if they are pretty good at it.

 

[gymmomtoo]

My answer might be different if she were older and struggling with a skill, but she's 6--have her finish out the sessions already paid for and if she still wants to quit then--let her.

 

[Twosmiles]

I have 6 year olds too (twins) and I think you just have to really listen to them at this age, not so much by what they say but what they do We were in a very similar position last year with the girls being in a level 1 class with girls MUCH older than they were. They liked gym but I could tell they felt awkward socially and only had each other to lean on.

We switched to another gym that doesn't have an elite program or many high level girls but does has an absolutely amazing pre-team program for high energy girls. The difference in format made a huge difference for my girls and they went from liking gym to loving gym.

In our old gym, the girls had to sit around a lot and were basically treated like 9-10 year old versus the little girls that they are. In the new gym, they are constantly doing circuits and their coaches, well they act like little kids sometimes too. Its basically catered to their age group.

Bottom line, if you think she really likes gym but not the format take a look around and find a better fit for her personality and social needs. However, its also ok to take breaks and try new things. Its 6 and now is not the time to be super serious about anything. Its about exploring and trying new things and having fun.

It is such the perfect time for that since my DDs are hearing things that other kids are doing and it makes them want to branch out into things I never thought they would be interested. (btw - violin is painful for the parents - I'd rather watch gym any day- ha!)

If she loves gym and is in the right environment for her, she'll come back to it pretty soon.

 

[GymBee97]

she is only 6 and alot can change from week to week. At 6yo they are just starting to experience life without mom and dad for a part of the day (school) and are starting to make little friends who have other interests. What they liked as a toddler WILL change as they get older. I would have her finish out the 6 classes she has left (unless there is a major fight to get her there) then see if she still wants to quit and try something else. Lots of kids quit and move on to other interests from 6 - 8 yo. She is growing and getting new interests let her explore them so she can really see what else is out there. If you can do some other things over the next 6 weeks before she quits that would be ideal so she can compare them both.

don't force her because you think she should stay and would be good at it. Hey she might be then next karate queen if given the chance or dance queen or what ever it is she wants to do (soccer, dance, karate, piano what ever) Be open to the idea that gymnastics is just something she may have outgrown at 6yo and its time for her to move on.

 

[bogwoppit]

I let my five year old quit gym mid way through a course, she wasn't enjoying it and it showed in many ways. After a six month break she begged to go back and then did gym for six more years.

 

[gymmommy123]

I think I'd have her finish her classes and then let her switch to something else. My daughter is also just barely 6 yrs old, and there is NO QUESTION about her favorite activity. Gymnastics all the way. She recently moved to 3 hrs practices, 3x a week, and what she says at the end of 3 hrs is, "When can I start staying for 4 hours!" We did some dance and swimming, which she liked, but she lives for gymnastics. She may have another hobby or sport that will end up being her favorite. If not, she won't loose much with a break for a few months, and she could always come back to level 1 at anytime.

 

[OzZee]

I agree see how she goes over the six weeks, could be just the break.
But if you can only get her to one session a week (im guessing on a Saturday maybe?) due to work then gymnastics isn't going to be a long term option for her unless you can find a car pool.

 

[GymBee97]

I agree see how she goes over the six weeks, could be just the break.
But if you can only get her to one session a week (im guessing on a Saturday maybe?) due to work then gymnastics isn't going to be a long term option for her unless you can find a car pool.

The above is so true If you are hoping for a gymnastic Team track you have to know now that it is all consuming. It goes very quickly from one class a week to 3 a week and from a few hours to anywhere from 12 - 25+ hours a week. and the cost is huge as you move up the levels. If your not prepared to have gymnastics as a lifestyle where you adjust just about every aspect of your schedule for Meets practice etc then this isn't going to work out in the long run and another activity might be the best thing.

 

[pirateslovebacon]

It's a little soon, but be careful enough to recognize when it is done. It's much easier to quit sooner rather than later. My girl was level 9, had won state, ranked 4th in the western region, and college was paid for. You don't want to go through that.

 

[tooootsie]

Both my kiddos (4 & 6) are on pre-team, and I tell them both that if they ever stop enjoying being in gymnastics that they can quit! I want them to do what makes them happy. I would finish out the 6 weeks, and then pull her out. I agree with what the other parents have said... if she really misses it, she will let you know Good luck!

 

[Galadriel]

my dd started baby gym age 4- 5, quit aged 7
nasty coaching ethic but was our 1st venture into gymnastics and we thought it was NORMAL.
re visited gymnastics aged 9 (different gym and went back to rec vs team)
she stuck at it and loved it (and now this is 10 years down the line.)

 

[kwnative]

I agree with the others.....have her finish out her 6 week session, then let her quit if she still wants to, but I would just not talk about it much until the end of the session. She may be enjoying it so much by then that she won't give quitting another thought. My daughter entered pre-team a year and a half ago, and is now level 4. I told her if she ever doesn't love it, to please let me know, because I don't want to force her to keep doing something she isn't enjoying. However, there was one girl on her team who had spent 9 months at their level, paid all the meet fees, coaches fees, bought the team leo, etc., and then quit less than a week before the first meet. After that, I told her I won't force her to stay in, but if she ever wants to quit, it will NOT be after I have paid all those fees! At that point, she's locked in through meet season.