For Parents DD only one in her team who did not qualify...

[Playgrounders]

Just a little story to tell...

So we just got back from DD's first sectionals meet. Some background first: DD joined her gym's L4 team later than most of the girls (they invited her this past fall instead of the beginning of the summer like half the girls; plus the other half were in L4 for the 2nd year in a row).

She qualified for her first Sectional meet even with no backhandspring after her roundoff on floor, and with no front hip circle in her bar routine.

For the Sectional meet, she and her coaches were working on both skills, and yay, she got her backhandspring on! She is very excited.

At the meet: Her floor routine was extra-joyful with the addition of the backhandspring to finish it off. Bar scores were on the low end as expected without the front hip circle. Vault was pretty awesome. Her last event was the beam, which she needed an 8.2 to qualify for States.

But then she fell on the wrong side of the beam for her dismount. Poor girl! She climbed back on and finished (WTG!) but then she did not get the 8.2.

Skip ahead to the end of the meet. We met her, prepared to be all joyous and congratulatory (because after all, that backhandspring was a thing of beauty, and her hair was so cute!). We were not at all going to mention the whole "did not qualify" part because she has 3 more sectionals on the schedule to give it a go. But then the first thing she said to me and hubby as soon as we met her was, "Mommy, I didn't qualify." And she was all sad! I said, "Who told you that?" "Coach," she said. "And I think I'm the only one on the team who didn't."

When I asked her if she knew what "not qualifying" meant, she couldn't give an answer. But she knew it wasn't a good thing. My poor darling, I'm so upset for her. I'm not one for shielding my kid about the realities of life, especially when it concerns her, but I wish her coach had also explained what "not qualifying" meant, and that she had 3 more meets to try.

As for me, I'm so disappointed at myself for feeling slightly disappointed. I love, love, love watching DD compete, but I now also understand why Nastia Lukin's mom never watched her. Back home, hubby and I are focusing on focusing her on the positive aspects of her meet. Even her brother is impressed! And really, I know that if she doesn't make it to States, it's okay.

 

[bogwoppit]

Well considering she has three more opportunities to qualify I would seriously file this under learning experiences. Our kids only have three meets to make it, so many times they don't.

She has lots of time to get the score and certainly has the skills required. A first BHS at a meet is huge.

 

[mtbmom]

The same thing happened to my daughter in Level 4 and I think her first year in Level 5. She was at a gym that pushed kids to the next level whether they had all their skills or not. This was a very difficult thing for her.

This gym is pretty aggressive with their feeder program to search for elites so they don't like to let kids repeat the lower levels (they take up needed slots for new blood). It is a bit late now to put her back in Level 3, but I'm curious why they would send her to Sectionals when she doesn't even have all her skills for the level. They set her up for failure and then told her "SHE didn't qualify." I think this sends a terrible message to the young gymnast and is damaging to their self esteem. This treatment either caused or contributed to an anxiety disorder in my daughter.

Leaving that gym and moving on to a gym that cares about each gymnast and will not let them compete at Sectionals or States unless they have ALL of their skills, did wonders for my daughter's self esteem. To compete at any level they must be able to perform ALL of the skills in 3 out of 4 events. May seem strict, but this policy enabled my daughter to have a wonderful 2nd year at Level 5. She not only qualified, but she was the Beam Champion, Came in 4th on Floor, 7th on Bars, and got over the vault table (her nemesis at the time).

I may sound harsh, but the style of progression in the sport, you describe really hurt my daughter and I am very against it. Give your daughter a hug for me and remind her that she did her best and she will learn her skills when she is ready. You may not want to set her up by telling her she has 3 more chances, since she is missing some skills and this will greatly decrease her chance of qualifying. Sorry she's up agains this. Help her to setup realistic goals for her meets and that should help.

 

[lhmom]

Good for her getting that BHS and FHC in competition!! Personally, I'd be annoyed at the coach who pointed out that she was the only one who didn't qualify. What was the purpose of that when she has several more opportunities to make it? Ugh.

 

[Deanna]

Poor baby. She has three more meets left. Im sure she will get it before the season is up. Keep us posted on how she does. And good for you for focusing on the postivie

 

[gym law mom]

I would focus on her getting the new skills at a big meet(and having killer hair!) and make sure she understands she gets to try to qualify 3 more times----but don't dwell on when and where.

 

[MaryA]

Good for her getting that BHS and FHC in competition!! Personally, I'd be annoyed at the coach who pointed out that she was the only one who didn't qualify. What was the purpose of that when she has several more opportunities to make it? Ugh.

I totally agree. We don't have sectionals in our state anymore... you just need to get a certain score at any "sanctioned" meet in order to go to states. Of DD's team of 6 level 6's, four have qualified... one at each of the 4 meets they've had so far. Even though DD has qualified, she is now worried about those remaining two girls and saying that she hopes either they both qualify or that neither of them qualifies. She hates the thought that there would be just one girl who doesn't qualify! And one of those two remaining girls has a dad who is making noises about making her quit if she doesn't qualify. No pressure or anything!

In this situation, where your daughter is so close to qualifying and still has three more tries, I think that a "Wow! Look how close you came to qualifying on your first try!" would be a more appropriate response. I would also be annoyed with that coach!

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

Try to be positive she still has 3 more chances. My daughters first year competing she was 7 and her and another teammate did not qualify. It was really tough since her gym was hosting the state meet and her coach made her watch her teamates compete. At the time I thought this was really harsh but gymnastics ecspecailly at the USAG level is a harsh sport. It sounds like your daughter is handling it well my daughter came very close to leaving the sport after this but she ended up staying another 4 years her teammate who also did not qualify is the only one left from the orginal group and is doing amazing as an optional. You just never know. I do not think it was a bad thing to let her try she might of had a chance. My daughter was not allowed to compete bars which she needed to qualify because of that dreaded FHC but the very next week got a qualifying score but unfortunately states was already over and it was too late.

 

[JessLW]

I think it was kind of cruel of her coach to point out to her that she was the only one who didn't qualify, especially since she still has 3 more tries. It would be one thing if she was goofing off and not concentrating or something, but she actually made a skill she hadn't made before in a meet, that's great progress!

I guess it would depend on the context, was it something the other girls were talking about and your DD overheard and asked if she qualified too? Or was it totally from the coach? In any case, just keep reinforcing to your daughter how well she did and tell her there are lots of chances left to make State so not to worry.

 

[wallinbl]

I wouldn't fret too much over the coach pointing it out unless you knew the context of it. This happened two seasons ago at DD's gym where at the first meet all the girls were excited because they thought they had all qualified for state and when they tried to confirm with the coach, they found out that only one had not made it yet. That one qualified at the next meet and all was good, but I'm sure it was wrenching for the coach to have the whole team of girls bouncing up and down asking about it and knowing there was only one that didn't make it yet.

 

[lhmom]

I guess it would depend on the context, was it something the other girls were talking about and your DD overheard and asked if she qualified too? Or was it totally from the coach? In any case, just keep reinforcing to your daughter how well she did and tell her there are lots of chances left to make State so not to worry.

I hope it was just taken out of context. I've never been a firm believer of using negative reinforcement to motivate a child, especially when that child has just accomplished something they've not done in competition before. And I have to say that reading this thread makes me glad that our state also does not have sectionals! Like Mary A's state, ours count in-state meet scores as qualifying score. Good luck to OP's daughter! We'll be cheering for her here to make that score.

 

[bookworm]

Just a little story to tell...

So we just got back from DD's first sectionals meet. Some background first: DD joined her gym's L4 team later than most of the girls (they invited her this past fall instead of the beginning of the summer like half the girls; plus the other half were in L4 for the 2nd year in a row).

She qualified for her first Sectional meet even with no backhandspring after her roundoff on floor, and with no front hip circle in her bar routine.

The same thing happened to my daughter in Level 4 and I think her first year in Level 5. She was at a gym that pushed kids to the next level whether they had all their skills or not. This was a very difficult thing for her.

This gym is pretty aggressive with their feeder program to search for elites so they don't like to let kids repeat the lower levels (they take up needed slots for new blood). It is a bit late now to put her back in Level 3, but I'm curious why they would send her to Sectionals when she doesn't even have all her skills for the level. They set her up for failure and then told her "SHE didn't qualify." I think this sends a terrible message to the young gymnast and is damaging to their self esteem. This treatment either caused or contributed to an anxiety disorder in my daughter.

3.

Playgrounders..I feel bad for your daughter but I can't help but think the coaches had to know the outcome when going into the meet she was missing basic essential skills for her level...did they think the judges would just overlook this?

I totally agree with mtbmom in that by having her do sectionals lacking the skills she needed, she was set up to fail, and that's not right. She's young so would it have killed them to leave her training the skills she needed so she could succeed rather than pushing her into a meet and she's the only one on her team who doesn't make it...I know she has 3 other meets to get the score but if she's still missing the skills, those meets may have similar outcomes unfortunately...hopefully they work like heck on the skills she missing!