Parents Dd quitting

[Deleted member 18037]

I'm curious about gymnasts retiring during this time of the year. Our official season has started and contracts have already been signed. When gymnasts decide to retire, are there still the same fees and penalties that would come if you left the gym after the season started? I hate to say it but if DD wanted to quit now, I would unfortunately make her finish the season. Unless of course it was due to an injury.

The edit timed out.

Just wanted to add. While I don't enjoy "burning dollar bills" if my kid truly did not want to be in the gym, I would never make her finish the season. Lower compulsory levels maybe. But with the skills they are doing now. The risk of injury is high enough when they are all in.

So first if they are there but not all in you are wasting the money any way.

But way more importantly a kid who doesn't want to be there is a recipe for an injury. And yep that would take care of that. But I would rather "burn the dollar bills" by leaving gym, then the copays of my high deductible plan and a potential injury that could cause life long issues, because she wasn't all in.

 

[kayjaybe]

I think most good coaches have a mission in mind while coaching their gymnasts. That mission may be to make the gymnast the best possible gymnast they can be. I think mission statement translatest o moving gymnasts through levels when they believe the gymnast is capable. DD, 10, had to sign a contract with her coach agreeing to give her all and work to the achieve the most her ability has to offer.

@kayjaybe post shows me that a good coach can keep a girl interested by realizing what each gymnast is going through and pull back the pressure when it fits the situation. In this case, it kept thi15-year-old in gym and it this makes me happy. Lesson to be garnered here is to teach our DDs to speak their minds and ask the coaches for what they need, they may actually get it. PT job at gym for a 15-year-old equals

Exactly! I am so glad he sees my dd as a person, and not just a gymnast. Some kids need the pushing, but that's not what my dd needed at this moment. She needed the pressure relieved, and we have done that. I thought she was very mature to make this choice, as many of her friends continue to move up around her.

 

[kayjaybe]

I'm curious about gymnasts retiring during this time of the year. Our official season has started and contracts have already been signed. When gymnasts decide to retire, are there still the same fees and penalties that would come if you left the gym after the season started? I hate to say it but if DD wanted to quit now, I would unfortunately make her finish the season. Unless of course it was due to an injury.

I used to think this way, until I went through a season where she spent half of it in tears. At that time, she didn't want to quit, but I was about to pull her.

In my case, this wouldn't be about a kid that is constantly quitting stuff. This is a kid who has given their body, heart & soul to this sport, and if she truly wanted to be done mid-season, we would pay out our contract and be done. Before we did that, we'd be exploring all options (including the one that is working for her right now --- staying the same level). But I'd be doing that to make sure she was truly happy and at peace with the decision, not because of the money.

 

[l.c.o]

^What @kayjaybe said.

My DD is already discussing options for next school year. She is nervous about balancing club gym and high school. We're so far going with a plan to take it month to month. As we get closer, we will likely let her coaches know (not yet - this season she's all in and we know things can change). Anyway, if DD wanted to quit right before season or mid-season, we would let her - as long as it's over something that can't be 'fixed', or if her heart just isn't in it.

And yeah, it would suck a little to pay for meets and fees she won't utilize, but in the long run it doesn't matter. The money would have been spent for the meets, etc either way.

To OP: Good on your DD for trying to think it through! Here's to hoping that she's at peace with her choice, either way. Good luck.

 

[Mamabear123]

The edit timed out.

Just wanted to add. While I don't enjoy "burning dollar bills" if my kid truly did not want to be in the gym, I would never make her finish the season. Lower compulsory levels maybe. But with the skills they are doing now. The risk of injury is high enough when they are all in.

Maybe that's why I feel the way I do. DD is a lower level complusory so their skills are pretty minimal. At this point, a BHS is probably the "hardest" it gets. And that skill is just as easy as a cartwheel for her. But I never thought of the fact that if a kid isn't into it, the risk of injuries are huge.
Also, I never factor in past expenses. That would just depress me. Lol

 

[kris]

Mine sort of wanted to quit right after she turned 12. I encouraged her to look at switching gyms instead. She was in a really bad headspace due months of her coach and her clashing on a fear issue. He would yell until she was more scared of him than the skill and they she would throw it. I kept talking to the HC who would say she would make sure it wouldn't happen again, then it would happen again. DD moved to a new gym, and luckily they had planned a summer with Doc Ali. Doc Ali really helped her work through this issue. She had a great year mentally at the new gym, but not physically (osgood-schlatter's and gymnast wrist due to gorwing 6" in about 9-months). And decided it wasn't fun any more right after that season ended. I was sad, but knew that this time she really was done. It wasn't because of something external, her heart wasn't in it anymore, and it's hard at the upper optional levels so if your heart isn't it, it's time to go. Honestly, I've loved having her around more. It's been great, but she and I are both glad she spent that last year at the new gym. She walked out on a good note, and mentally prepared to take on new challenges. She's thriving in her new sport (diving) as well. Best of luck to you both whatever happens. Hugs.

 

[profmom]

Ah, I was hoping I could find this. https://www.chalkbucket.com/forums/threads/when-to-encourage-transition-out.39961/

Fast forward nearly five years. She continued to progress slowly in JO until a string of injuries pretty much stopped forward progress and skill acquisition. In June, she transitioned to XCel Diamond. She has 10.0 start values on all events, has upgraded her floor and beam, and is working on a shoot half on bars for the meet season. Sometimes it's just hard and as a parent, you just have to support them and help them get through the hard parts. Seeing how happy she is now, I am very glad she hung on.

 

[bookworm]

I'm curious about gymnasts retiring during this time of the year. Our official season has started and contracts have already been signed. When gymnasts decide to retire, are there still the same fees and penalties that would come if you left the gym after the season started? I hate to say it but if DD wanted to quit now, I would unfortunately make her finish the season. Unless of course it was due to an injury.

I think it depends on the gym you are at...my youngest pulled the plug around the beginning of October and although she wasn't acutely injured at that time, and she thought she'd "keep going for the next few months to see the girls", I put the kibosh on that...if you are done, then we are done....no more trips to practice, no more tuition to socialize, no plane trips to be a cheerleader....either in or out. And she had been thinking about it for a while and her knee was never the same, and the coaches knew that too, so we were done...and they refunded everything I had paid until that date, and even bought the brand new leo back from me.

I think they felt bad because she was leaving the sport and not just the gym...