Anon Dd wants to join team but wasn't invited--what to do?

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gatorz

Proud Parent
My dd(7) has been doing recreational gymnastics 1-2 classes per week since age 4. This year, she took six months off to try other sports. She decided she likes gymnastics best and now is back to gymnastics 2x per week. She's recently been asking me if she can join the team. The problem is, she hasn't received an invitation and our gym is mysterious about how one can join team. I have never heard anything about tryouts, so I assume kids just get invited from the rec classes. I would just assume she isn't good enough to make the cut, except for she heard that her bff from school will be joining team next year. Her best friend just started rec gymnastics this year (in other words, hasn't even completed a full year of recreational gym once per week). I acknowledge the possibility that her bff is just very naturally talented and props to her for getting an invitation that quickly. But it confuses me that bff would be *that* much better than dd given how little time she has been doing it. I suppose it's possible, just seems unlikely (or maybe I am just a delusional parent lol??). I don't think dd is a super star gymnast or anything, but she isn't bad. Dd is well-behaved, we've always paid tuition ahead of schedule, etc. One possibility is that (I think) they send out invitations around April, but dd didn't start up again until April. So maybe they didn't even consider her?

Do you think it would be appropriate for me to ask them if dd missed any kind of tryout for team during her six month break? Or is that going to come off as trying to elbow her way onto the team? Or would it be better to wait until closer to next year? Or should I say nothing given they don't advertise the team at all? I definitely don't want her on the team if they don't think she would be a good fit....But I hate for it to be a situation where they are like "we didn't even think of it--if you had only told us she was interested!". You know? What would you do?
 
If your daughter is interested in joining the team it's definitely a good idea to ask what the process is at your gym. Maybe they choose from rec classes, maybe they had a tryout, maybe there is another opportunity for her to join at a later point- you won't know unless you ask, and it's a perfectly normal question so don't feel intimidated to reach out.
 
You need to let the gym know that she is interested in being on a team and ask for an evaluation. If they give you the run around or say the team is full or some other excuse, call other gyms in your area and ask for an evaluation. Some gyms have specific criteria that are not necessarily based on overall potential so don't be offended if you don't hear what you want at your current gym.

7 is a great age to get her onto a team. I would not wait another year w/o at least calling around and asking.
 
My girls got invited to try out for team after 7 months of rec. they were 6 and 9 at the time. We had a friend who had been in the rec classes for years but didn’t get invited. She ended up asking for an evaluation after she found out my girls made the team, and she did end up making the team too.
 
If your daughter is interested in joining the team it's definitely a good idea to ask what the process is at your gym. Maybe they choose from rec classes, maybe they had a tryout, maybe there is another opportunity for her to join at a later point- you won't know unless you ask, and it's a perfectly normal question so don't feel intimidated to reach out.
Thank you, that makes me feel better to hear it's not crazy to ask about it!
 
You need to let the gym know that she is interested in being on a team and ask for an evaluation. If they give you the run around or say the team is full or some other excuse, call other gyms in your area and ask for an evaluation. Some gyms have specific criteria that are not necessarily based on overall potential so don't be offended if you don't hear what you want at your current gym.

7 is a great age to get her onto a team. I would not wait another year w/o at least calling around and asking.
You read my mind--I was worried 7 was a little young for me to be asking about it (although dd is asking, so not as though I'm forcing it). Good to know that's not the case and that some gyms just have weird criteria. Thank you for the insight!
 
My girls got invited to try out for team after 7 months of rec. they were 6 and 9 at the time. We had a friend who had been in the rec classes for years but didn’t get invited. She ended up asking for an evaluation after she found out my girls made the team, and she did end up making the team too.
Glad to hear it worked out for everybody! Weird how these gyms do things sometimes.
 
It may be that she quit and came back and so they don't realise she is serious about it and would remain commited? Worth reaching out to them. Good luck!
 
Update: I did go ahead an email them. No response so far. It's only been 2.5 days so I realize I need to be patient lol. I'm feeling antsy since I felt nervous to send it in the first place though. I thought I was respectful, but did they take it the wrong way? Are things going to be awkward now? Hopefully they don't try to address it in front of other people and/or my daughter when I bring her to class.
 
Update: I did go ahead an email them. No response so far. It's only been 2.5 days so I realize I need to be patient lol. I'm feeling antsy since I felt nervous to send it in the first place though. I thought I was respectful, but did they take it the wrong way? Are things going to be awkward now? Hopefully they don't try to address it in front of other people and/or my daughter when I bring her to class.
Honestly, many gyms are not that great about answering emails. I would just talk to someone the next time you are there. Just go to the front desk and ask who you can talk to about possibly having your daughter evaluated for preteam. It's okay to ask, no one will think you disrespectful or pushy for asking questions.
 
Honestly, many gyms are not that great about answering emails. I would just talk to someone the next time you are there. Just go to the front desk and ask who you can talk to about possibly having your daughter evaluated for preteam. It's okay to ask, no one will think you disrespectful or pushy for asking questions.
Thank you for the encouragement! It's odd because they are usually prompt in answering emails. But I guess not this time. So I will have to put my big girl panties on and ask them in person!
 
They finally got back to me and it's a polite "no". They said they actually didn't invite anyone for next year though, so dd's friend is mistaken. I'm not sure if they don't have the capacity for more girls on the team or if there wasn't anybody good enough this year. Either way, I've got to find a way to break the news to my daughter, blah. She is still super excited about the idea of joining a team.

There is another bigger gym 2X the distance away. We are going to that one for the summer anyway (ours is closed), so I think if dd loves her summer classes we might inquire about their teams. I'm not set on that though, as we are happy with our current gym otherwise. And she has several friends in her current rec classes.

Anyway, thank you all for the encouragement to talk with them! You were right that they weren't offended. And I'm glad we found out sooner rather than later this way.
 
Your current gym closes for the summer? Do they close the whole gym or just not offer rec classes during the summer? Usually, team practice hours increase during the summer, and I don't know of any gyms around here that shut down for the whole summer. If your daughter is happy there and wants to stick with rec classes then going back to her current gym next fall sounds great, but if she does really want to compete, I would look into the programs at the gym she'll be going to this summer and enquire pretty quickly about what their process is for joining team.
 
The fact that the gym you are at closes for summer, makes me think they aren't really that team-focused...and the fact that noone new was invited to team is also a bit of a red flag, as a team without incoming gymnasts every year is dying.
Summer is really the biggest training time for team. Its absolutely fine to aske the "new gym" how they decided on who gets invited to team, what your daughter would need to be considered. It doesn't have to be a mystery!
 
Thank you all again for your words of wisdom! I had no idea teams usually practice more in the summer. In light of this newfound knowledge, I messaged the “new” gym to ask about their teams. Nothing back so far which makes me think it’s not a good sign. But I’d rather know sooner rather than later!
 
I will say also--its not always about the kid's talents or abilities in making the team. When I'm recommending or pulling a kid from a class, I'm looking for strength and flexibility, yes. But way more than that, I am specifically looking for kids who are strongly self-driven to improve the boring, not tell me something is boring. Its the kid who will work on straightening that leg, pointing that toe, finding that hollow position over and over. Who wants to do that boring drill 5 more times because its not perfect yet. The one who never complains that something is "too easy" or "boring"

There's also the parent factor. I have not recommended kids to team due to parents being rude and disrespectful to staff or after watching questionable interactions with their kids. Remember, team kids practice many more hours a week than the one hour a week rec kid. Gyms absolutely consider the dynamics of the families they are adding to the program! Not saying, or even implying, this is you (and with the info that the gym you're at doesn't seem to have a well-developed team program-- if they close for the entire summer, that's not common--), but just info for families that may also be reading this.
 
I will say also--its not always about the kid's talents or abilities in making the team. When I'm recommending or pulling a kid from a class, I'm looking for strength and flexibility, yes. But way more than that, I am specifically looking for kids who are strongly self-driven to improve the boring, not tell me something is boring. Its the kid who will work on straightening that leg, pointing that toe, finding that hollow position over and over. Who wants to do that boring drill 5 more times because its not perfect yet. The one who never complains that something is "too easy" or "boring"

There's also the parent factor. I have not recommended kids to team due to parents being rude and disrespectful to staff or after watching questionable interactions with their kids. Remember, team kids practice many more hours a week than the one hour a week rec kid. Gyms absolutely consider the dynamics of the families they are adding to the program! Not saying, or even implying, this is you (and with the info that the gym you're at doesn't seem to have a well-developed team program-- if they close for the entire summer, that's not common--), but just info for families that may also be reading this.
That makes sense that team selection goes beyond physical skills. If I was a coach I'd be picky about motivation/discipline as well. One kid being a pain can derail the whole team! Same goes for respectful parents.

As far as I can tell, dd is very driven. Of course maybe she acts differently with me than at gym (parents can't usually watch), or maybe I'm just a biased mom lol. However, on a similar note, dd does have an issue with crying easily if she gets hurt or is overwhelmed. I imagine that would be annoying to deal with in a competitive team situation. Maybe that is part of it at her current gym and they just didn't want to tell me?
Thank you for the insight!
 

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