WAG Do fears lessen once they stop growing?

[Bajanswife]

I have a small 10 year old who doesn't fear things easily (adores thrill rides, throws skills easily) but she does occasionally get stuck on something. There is usually a concrete reason for her fear. Right now it's the flyaway, and that's because she's not letting go at the right time and is coming too close to the bar. She knows she has to let go when she is stretched out, and therefore far away from the bar, but she just can't get it worked out yet. I know something in her brain will click one day, and her flyaway will be forever easy after that. We have been through this with other skills. On beam it's usually because she's done a "cowboy" (split the beam) trying something hard and she's afraid to do it again for a while. I just keep reassuring her and reminding her of past fears that she's conquered successfully.

 

[iwannacoach]

So, am I summing this up correctly? Once a cautious gymnast, always a cautious gymnast. She will likely hit the limit of the skills she is willing/able to do at a lower level than the "running into a burning building" gymnast, but I should be amazed by the things that she CAN do rather than worry about the things that she CAN'T do?

I would venture a guess that my DD is a VERY cautious gymnast!

I don't see her running into a burning building, let alone ride certain roller coasters either!!

yes.

And then there's this to consider.........

The two darling daughters of MaryA and AlexsGymmyMom started at clubs that didn't challenge them to learn new skills to the extent their new clubs are. I think that starting in a "laid back" program is fine, but that kind of program will ingrain the notion that skills beyond a certain point are too hard or dangerous. Why???? Because only the best of the best kids in these programs learn skills like bhsx2, and then only after several years of working at it. The message sent to all the kids is that it takes a lot of work and a lot of time filled with hundreds of hesitations and balks.

The other limit built into the child is they progress so slowly they begin to believe that whatever mistakes they make define their potential and ability. Really, if a child one to two years doing clear hips just at or above horizontal, she'll decide that she doesn't have what it takes to make one to a handstand..... because that's who they are, courtesy of the laid back program.

I think the spin I'd put on the idea you have to teach it all before they turn 12 is that the age isn't as much as a factor as is becoming adjusted to the pace at which they progress......... more to come

 

[iwannacoach]

So getting back to it......

I'd say that if a child can wrap her mind around her successful move to a new club, and treat the quickly gained new skills as a testament to their ability, they then have a chance to recover from the previous gym clubs approach.

Dunno is absolutely correct about the caution alarm. I don't know how the kids come to possess the alarm, but I feel it's partly inherited from how a child's parents react to alarming events during the child's formative years.

There are a few others on chalkbucket who've made the change, as these two have, and done well just as these two have, and I hope they "get it" that they have plenty ability and room for growth. It's hard to do and there's no certainty of the outcome, but just having the guts and self belief to try is an accomplishment in itself.

To them........ Way to go!!!

 

[JBS]

^^^^^^ @iwannacoach ...awesome posts!

 

[iwannacoach]

^^^^^^ @iwannacoach ...awesome posts!

I do what I can and every once in a while I get it right for some of the people, and sometimes not so much.

Thanks for the compliment, JBS, it means a lot to me.

 

[Aussie_coach]

In my experience if it is treated correctly then the fears can be lessened. The young ones don't have as much fear because they usually don't think in the abstract. They deal with concrete facts, once the kids hit their pre teen years they start to think in the abstract and imagine all possible things going wrong that never have gone wrong before.

Just like with most new changes, the kids brains can find this new thinking hard to control. They start to imagine all these things going wrong and can be very fearful.

As they get older they can learn how to approach their fear more rationally. There is a small possibility of these things going wrong but they can weigh up the risks and realise that the odds of those things going wrong are very strong.

But if they are not taught to a mange their fear, some never improve.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I think there are naturally cautious people. Pink and Fluffy was/is afraid of anything and everything as a smalls child with zero self belief. She was scared of her relatives, cats, grass, sand (and we live on the coast), school and gym. 3 years of gym have changed her a great deal. She still is nervous of new things/people/places, but gym has given her the self confidence she never had.

I am amazed the way she chucks herself around the gym, and this year even got on a rollercoaster for the first time, and enjoyed it !

 

[maryRS]

In a nut shell - no. What they fear changes and sometimes as they get older rather than taller they understand more and tend to take longer to get over the fear. At least that has been my experience.

This is kind of what I have seen.

 

[stxrdusty]

Fears inherently come with the sport, they may become less frequent when you stop growing (I have no idea). But what I know for sure is that fears will always be present in gymnastics. That's why we love the sport, that little bit or adrenaline drives us and keeps bringing us back.

 

[littlegirlsdream]

So getting back to it......

I'd say that if a child can wrap her mind around her successful move to a new club, and treat the quickly gained new skills as a testament to their ability, they then have a chance to recover from the previous gym clubs approach.

Dunno is absolutely correct about the caution alarm. I don't know how the kids come to possess the alarm, but I feel it's partly inherited from how a child's parents react to alarming events during the child's formative years.

There are a few others on chalkbucket who've made the change, as these two have, and done well just as these two have, and I hope they "get it" that they have plenty ability and room for growth. It's hard to do and there's no certainty of the outcome, but just having the guts and self belief to try is an accomplishment in itself.

To them........ Way to go!!!

This is what has happened to my DD, moved from a gym that just kept saying she is young there is time and than didn't challenge her. She asked for a change and so we did. New gym requires more from her and she has made tremendous progress and believes in herself because she feels her coach now believes in her, It wasn't that her old gym was bad, she just somehow got the message that not much was expected of her and so that's what she did. That being said I am assuming it might take a while for the old message to completely stop playing in her head.

 

[bookworm]

It has been our experience that kids with fears always have fears of one sort or another, from the moment they start...probably something to do with the "caution alarm" that Dunno speaks of but i've never really seen a kid with disabling fears totally overcome them to become a fearless gymnast going forward...it's almost like they don't forget the "why' of their fear...

 

[MaryA]

DD started becoming fearful when she started optionals... right around the same time she turned 11. So around that time her body started changing, she started doing scarier skills ( flight on beam, etc.), and she started to realize that she could actually hurt herself. So I guess it's a "perfect storm" of sorts.

 

[JessLW]

MaryA, she also really did get hurt, so that's probably not helping either with this latest fear. The first "big" injury can really shake up some kids. I hurt myself on floor when I was about her age, 12ish -- broke my hand when I came down wrong on a simple ROBHS of all things. It gave me a huge block on tumbling and although I went on to compete up till about age 16 and L8, I never fully got over it. When you're past the age of reason and possess the actual knowledge that freak accidents happen -- you can peel off the bars or miss a foot on the beam or a hand on vault even if you "know" how to do the skills -- well, gymnastics can be pretty darn scary!

Is she prone to anxiety in other parts of her life? I didn't realize it at the time, but as an adult I now know that I do have anxiety issues that probably had a lot to do with why I was a fearful gymnast. When I started driving as a teen it took me forever before I worked up the nerve to drive on the freeway and I am still scared of flying (although I'll grit my teeth and do it when I must). I'm definitely not an adrenaline junkie, you couldn't pay me enough to get me to bungee jump or skydive.

The fact that your DD seems to get over her fears when the pressure is on is probably a good sign -- she can do it but she needs that extra push. I know that I'd choke on skills even at meets sometimes, I really had no control over my fears. Your DD has also progressed pretty quickly after leaving her laid back program, and is generally one of the top girls in her group, yes? Could it be also that she's feeling a bit of pressure to keep up the pace? I remember last year she wasn't maxed out as a L7 (no giants, no BHS combo on the beam, right?) so the jump she's making to new L8 is a pretty huge one. Is it possible it is just all too much too fast? Not that there's any solution there either because I doubt she'd agree to take it slower and backing off of the skills she's having trouble with probably won't help her get there any faster. I guess you just have to ride it out and let her figure out for herself whether she's going to let the fears limit how far she'll go in gymnastics or whether she's going to push through it.

 

[MaryA]

Jess, yes to all you said. She did get hurt, though the fears seemed to start last season, before the injury. Yes, she competed 7 without giants and with only one BHS, though she still finished out the year scoring in the mid to upper 36's. She is the only one from her level 7 group to move up to level 8, though I fully expect her to repeat it. Part of me sort of wishes she was repeating this year, but I think her coaches know her tendency to step it up when she needs to and maybe they think that, without the pressure to do so, she may find herself in the same boat next year. As for anxiety, she seems like the most laid-back kid on the planet, though I did learn about this time last year that she does tend to bottle it up. At least this year we haven't had a major melt-down yet like she had right before the beginning of last season. I've learned not to press her for details about what skills she has or doesn't have too. She has a mock meet next weekend and I asked her if she wanted to invite people or just keep it low-key and she opted for low-key.

All this said, my question was somewhat academic. I have seen girls struggle with back tumbling blocks or fly-away blocks for YEARS. I would say DD's fears are probably within the "normal" range. But we hear a lot on this site about the vestibular system and growth and such causing fears/blocks but then we never see posts like, "Thank goodness my 16-year-old's vestibular system is finally fully developed and now she is starting to do all of those skills she used to be afraid of!"