WAG Do you ever regret not quitting sooner?

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Orangesoda

Proud Parent
Dd tried out for and made a club soccer team at a very legit soccer club and wants to do it, so we quit gym. I seriously cry every day. I know it's such a first world problem, but I'm just so sad and question whether I should have made her stick with gym another year. Dd says she likes gym, she just doesn't like how she misses out on so much other stuff. And in my mind, I get it, and I know hours just increase with skill, but my heart is just so, so sad. She was slated to compete L3 in the fall, and I know she was on track to train TOPS and had potential to go far.

And please withhold the stories about how your child does gym, dance, rugby, is on the honor roll, plays the trombone and teaches underwater basket weaving in their spare time. We can't do soccer and gym at the same time. It would be just too much scheduled time away from home.

Anyways, I don't even know what I'm looking for here. I go back and forth on whether we made the right choice. Our gym was totally classy about us leaving - head coach wished her well and said if she ever changed her mind, and he hoped she did, she'd be welcomed back with no problem. All her coaches were really sad to see her go, but expressed understanding at the same time. I'm just so bummed we have to choose, I guess. And in the long term, soccer seems more sustainable.

Sigh.
 
My dd (now in high school) have had many teammates move on to other things over the years. Many of them have found things they are very passionate about and at least one regrets not leaving gym earlier for dance as she was in high school when she started dance and it really is her "thing." Good for you for letting your daughter live out her dreams and experience soccer. Reality is, if she's not completely in love with gymnastics at L3, (no matter how much you love it) she probably won't be passionate about it for the long haul to really go far with it…
 
Reality is, if she's not completely in love with gymnastics at L3, (no matter how much you love it) she probably won't be passionate about it for the long haul to really go far with it…

^^^ I came to realize exactly this with one of my children and gymnastics. "So much potential!" coaches said, but the reality was, it wasn't my child's passion and eventually it was clear to me that it was never really going to be. Quitting was the best move ever, in hindsight. But I slaved and stressed over the decision at the time.

I hope your daughter enjoys soccer! Or enjoys it for a while, then switches to something else equally awesome. Good for you for following your daughter's lead.
 
^^^ I came to realize exactly this with one of my children and gymnastics. "So much potential!" coaches said, but the reality was, it wasn't my child's passion and eventually it was clear to me that it was never really going to be. Quitting was the best move ever, in hindsight. But I slaved and stressed over the decision at the time.

I hope your daughter enjoys soccer! Or enjoys it for a while, then switches to something else equally awesome. Good for you for following your daughter's lead.


"Slaved and stressed". Oh man. Exactly. Thanks for the response. It's what I need to hear:)
 
I don't have any experiences to relate, but I want to wish your dd the best of luck in the future! My kids have all done rec soccer and I really enjoy watching the games. I know club level is a whole other level! Your dd is obviously very athletic and I'm sure will succeed at whatever sport she ends up in.
 
I think you need to analyse what exactly it is you're so upset about. I would be very sad if my DD decided to quit gym, yes. But crying everyday is a bit excessive and a little crazy...

Is it because you don't understand soccer? I find it hard to "get into" sports I know nothing about and don't understand the rules. I'd be a bit of a lame soccer or cricket or footy mum. I really enjoy watching gymnastics and find ball sports a bit of a yawn. Anything to stop you going along to her former team mates meets and supporting them? I reckon I'd still do that to get my "fix" if DD ever quit.
 
Ok when I read the title of the thread I thought you were a gymnast.

Your daughter quit. It was her sport, not yours. You didn't quit.

She sounds like she is very at peace with her decision.

She is right the commitment is huge and there are things that have to be missed. You can not force her to be OK with that. It would have been better she continue and build up resentment for the sport and you for forcing her? Sounds like she is perfectly fine with her choice.
 
As many hours as they have to be at gym, I have always been of the opinion that it really has to be their passion. If it's not her passion, so be it. I have always been shocked that my daughter has stayed in as long as she has (now in her 6th year), mainly because she enjoys other sports. But now that mine is in middle school, I have been mentally preparing myself for the possibility that we are nearing the end. And if we are looking at the end, I will be sad but I will never regret it because she has gotten so much from the sport.
 
I have to agree with the others. It's her sport. She's the one who has to do the activity day-in and day-out. Honestly, I would much easier for a kid to decide she didn't want to do gym at L3 than L9. L3 is still recreational level. L9 (or whatever) is years and years of training, missing activities & other sports, family strain, traveling, & competing. At that point, it's very much a "family activity."
If she's not "in it" 100% at L3, I would definitely stick with soccer.
My DD made the choice between soccer and L5 last fall. Gymnastics won hands-down, but she loves the fact that soccer is still an option if she ever decides to quit. Though, in her words, she's never quitting.
 
Ok when I read the title of the thread I thought you were a gymnast.

Your daughter quit. It was her sport, not yours. You didn't quit.

She sounds like she is very at peace with her decision.

She is right the commitment is huge and there are things that have to be missed. You can not force her to be OK with that. It would have been better she continue and build up resentment for the sport and you for forcing her? Sounds like she is perfectly fine with her choice.


Deleted member 18037, a bit harsh!

I loved gymnastics - everything about it! I loved watching my precious DD do a sport that was beautiful and powerful. I loved buying her leos that were pretty. I especially enjoyed "meet hair", looking for new styles, experimenting, and doing it.

I also liked the other parents at her gym. For a few years, they were my ENTIRE social circle. So, if she had quit 2-3 years ago, I would have been pretty devastated. Fortunately, I'm totally ok with her decision to quit now.

So, try not to judge too much.
 
Deleted member 18037, a bit harsh!

I am sorry you think so.

But I find it rather important to the children, our kids. This is about them. Their sport. They are doing the work, getting the rips, giving up other activities. Seriously its not my sport to quit. Its not my hard work. The OP didn't quit, her daughter did. And her daughter is OK with that.

My job is to make sure I have my "stuff" under control to support her and her sport and choices. Last thing my kid would need is pressure or a guilt trip because its about me.
 
But I find it rather important to the children, our kids. This is about them. Their sport. They are doing the work, getting the rips, giving up other activities.

While it is true that it is their sport, they do not do it in a vacuum. We as a family make HUGE sacrifices in time, money, missed opportunities in order for them to do their sport.

Gymnastics is a huge part of our lives now with two kids doing 20hrs+ of gym a week. While I will of course support them when they decide to call it quits, I am pretty darn sure that I will also be sad that the gymnastics chapter of their/our lives is over. There are many things that I enjoy about my kids being in gym (and many other things I won't miss at all!) and I don't think that I can be that detached about something that has been a part of our lives for so long....

ETA - I don't think I would cry over it, but then again I'm not a cryer :)
 
I am sorry you think so.

But I find it rather important to the children, our kids. This is about them. Their sport. They are doing the work, getting the rips, giving up other activities. Seriously its not my sport to quit. Its not my hard work. The OP didn't quit, her daughter did. And her daughter is OK with that.

My job is to make sure I have my "stuff" under control to support her and her sport and choices. Last thing my kid would need is pressure or a guilt trip because its about me.

I agree, that was harsh. Yes, its our kids' sport and it should ultimately be their decision to stick with it or quit. But you can't dismiss the investment that most parents and families make to allow their gymnast to pursue this sport. Money, time and travel commitments just to name a few. The OP seemed to mainly be venting here since surely there are other parents that have had kids leave the sport and can empathize with her. Its quite normal to feel sad when your kid stops doing an activity you've enjoyed watching them do and they excel at. Kudos to the OP for letting her DD to try out for a club soccer team and encouraging her to pursue her dream of soccer, even though it meant giving up gymnastics. It sounds like she has her *"stuff" under control to support her and her sport and choices*, like you said above.
 
While it is true that it is their sport, they do not do it in a vacuum. We as a family make HUGE sacrifices in time, money, missed opportunities in order for them to do their sport.

Gymnastics is a huge part of our lives now with two kids doing 20hrs+ of gym a week. While I will of course support them when they decide to call it quits, I am pretty darn sure that I will also be sad that the gymnastics chapter of their/our lives is over. There are many things that I enjoy about my kids being in gym (and many other things I won't miss at all!) and I don't think that I can be that detached about something that has been a part of our lives for so long....

ETA - I don't think I would cry over it, but then again I'm not a cryer :)

This exactly. I see why it was hard for the OP. I was sad when my ods quit scouts. It was his thing, but I was involved (committee member). I was sad when he quit band. And if my level 9 ds ever decides to leave, I will be very sad. We as a family have sacrificed and planned our lives around his dream (to an extent...vacations are gym meets, etc). We give him no guilt, we give him no pushing at all, but we do make sacrifices for him. I would be sad. But I would also encourage and help him along as OP seems to be trying to do.

I appreciate your vent OP! It is tough when a kiddo has talent and takes it somewhere else. I am sure she will be very successful with your support and her athletic ability!
 
I'm chuckling a little about the harsh words. Not in a mean way...just...I'm surprised it's so upsetting that I'd be sad. Luckily I do have enough of my "stuff" together to know that everyone's coming from their own place, and reactions are probably equal functions of my post and the responders' individual experiences.

Rest assured there're no guilt trips or psychological drama occurring in our home.
 
Thanks to all those who've responded. I appreciate the perspective and encouragement. I'm sad for perhaps what could have been. Did I make the wrong choice for a 6yr old child lacking insight and wisdom? Only time will tell. Being a parent is tuff stuff!
 
Thanks to all those who've responded. I appreciate the perspective and encouragement. I'm sad for perhaps what could have been. Did I make the wrong choice for a 6yr old child lacking insight and wisdom? Only time will tell. Being a parent is tuff stuff!


Well hey! Didn't know the little one was only 6! You know there is such a thing as mind changing among said demographic? She might change her mind later, back to gym, on to karate, up to guitar, or over to surfing.

It's super hard to let our kids lead the way, but in the end only you will know what is right for your family as you guide your dd through her activities and life choices.

As a post script, my dd was in both soccer and rec gym when she was that age, and she was invited to competitive gym and Pre-rep soccer at about the same time. Of course she wanted both but i told her to choose... She picked gym.
 
I think it can be harder when they are younger...you do feel like you are making the decision for her. And you worry that you might make the wrong one. But C_G_M is right.....she is young, and will possibly change her mind multiple times over the years ;) enjoy the ride!
 

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