WAG Do you ever regret not quitting sooner?

[Orangesoda]

I am sorry you think so.

But I find it rather important to the children, our kids. This is about them. Their sport. They are doing the work, getting the rips, giving up other activities. Seriously its not my sport to quit. Its not my hard work. The OP didn't quit, her daughter did. And her daughter is OK with that.

My job is to make sure I have my "stuff" under control to support her and her sport and choices. Last thing my kid would need is pressure or a guilt trip because its about me.

Sometimes oversimplifying can get one into trouble. My daughter is okay with many things I'm not okay with, so her OK is not enough for any major life decision. You know? Like I'm sure she'd be okay with never brushing her teeth and eating candy all day, because she doesn't understand long-term implications of such poor choices. That's where parenting comes in, right?

Hopefully you aren't reading this as angry. I'm not angry. The decision was just a little less cut and dry than what I perceive you to think.

And ultimately, we agree. Because SHE quit. We quit. Whatever, semantics. I listened, weighed, and decided to give something else a try.

 

[B.Gold]

Last week I had lunch with a friend that I met through my dd's gym. Her dd quit three years ago and she's still sad. And this mom has her "stuff" together more than anyone I know.

OP... Your feelings are yours, you're entitled to them, and you're experiencing a loss. Like any loss it'll get easier over time.

 

[ROMfan]

At 6, I probably would have kept her in gym long enough to at least do that first competition season you said she was slated to do. No reason she couldn't have done both for a few months-- yes you wouldn't perhaps want that as a permanent schedule-- but until she actually got a chance to compete and see if she liked it I wouldn't have had her quit.

I have a 7 yr old. They are not exactly the most dedicated age group. One week she may like this, another that.

I really think your sadness and second guessing comes from her never really actually getting that chance to compete

But your choice has been made, so at this point I would let her do the soccer season. She can always switch back, try both, or may find she loves soccer.

And I agree with above posters--if you think soccer plus level 3 hours are too much time away from home, it's good maybe you're not going further into gymnastics because the hours only increase.

At 6, nothing is permanent, so don't beat yourself up over decisions.

 

[Faith]

Yep, mine quit and sometimes I still feel sad.

She quit because she was selected to train elite in another sport, and couldn't do both- the gymnastics club we were at wouldn't let her. In hindsight it was the right decision as she's absolutely flying in the other sport.

She's not the type of kid that appears to "love" it though. It's what she does, it's who she is. If she quit, I think she could find another sport and go at it with the same dedication.

It was a post on here made me think. The poster was an ice skater, and take about the rink being "home"- the smell of the ice, the chill, the feeling of flying over the ground. Pretty much sums up my feelings about gymnastics, and it made me understand other people feel the way about other sports that I feel about gym. So maybe your DD loves the feel of the grass, the adrenaline when she approaches a goal, the congratulations from team mates.

Still though, I watch kids doing their floor routines or swinging bars and can't understand why you'd pick a different sport!

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I had a conversation with Pink the other day, wee were watch TV and she said "Mum I really would love to be able to fly" I turned to her and said, "but hun, you already do", she thought about it and said "yup, I do don't I", that is why gym is cool !

 

[profmom]

Every year in the spring, I get a little sad and DH gets very sad that our eldest stopped playing baseball. I loved going to the games and sitting out in the stands, and DH often coached or managed while I sometimes kept book. He's still playing soccer and we enjoy it, but DH has been a baseball fan for his whole life and having his son involved in the sport was a new way to enjoy the game.

Then I remember the 40 degree nights and those games where it was raining but not quite hard enough to cancel and the ones where the wind was howling at gale force, and I don't feel so bad.

 

[Frase]

Dd (12) has just decided to quit artistic gymnastics. She made her final decision this week. Am I sad - absolutely - I love artistic gymnastics and I love watching her do her stuff but, for a number of reasons, she feels 'done' and I have to respect that.

She has been offered the opportunity to move into another discipline of gymnastics which she has decided to take. I'll be honest - I don't 'get' the new route, but I'm hoping that one day I will - I hope I'll come to love it as much as I do artistic but, for now, she's excited (if a little nervous) which makes me happy.

 

[Ali'sMom]

@Orangesoda I totally get it.
I have a 7th grade Level 6. Either this year is her last, or next year is. This is almost a guarantee. She strives more for honor roll in her high school classes than she does for medals in gym. And it's getting more & more difficult and stressful (please note: it is SHE who puts the school stress on herself, not DH and I. my favorite statement to her is "The world will not end if you get a bad grade, I promise")

She's got a huge beam fear, which might keep her from making level 7 next year with the rest of her group (they were all very close THIS year, so definitely next year).

Logically, I KNOW it's not a bad thing if she quits. I am PROUD that school is so important to her. I am also proud of what gym has given her - the discipline, the confidence, that maturity.
But I think I may cry harder than she does the day we leave the gym. She knows the coaches are great, and friendly, and sweet. I am the one who knows that they view her as family, that they've always "got" her, anxiousness and all, and that they've always, since Day 1, had a plan for her, and changed the plan as necessary to make it work for HER. I am the one who knows how much they truly care what happens to each girl. I'm the one who never worried about leaving her at gym, because she was with her other family.

I moved a lot growing up, and I despise good-byes. Even when she finished 5th grade, I had NO problem about "my little girl growing up and going to middle school", but I had such a hard time leaving the place we had loved so much for 6 years, the teachers that cared so much about her.
And I know it will be so hard the day we walk out of gym
I will most likely cry a few times in the car by myself, because, well, I am indeed a cryer.
But I will make sure that she feels none of what will be going on in my head and heart, and all she will know is that I support her decision. That's my job as her mom.

 

[sevenatenine2]

I think the worst time to quit is when the kids have invested a lot of time in the sport, yet maybe don't want to do it in high school. Gymnastics kept them from doing things like 7th grade basketball, etc, so then if they quit in 8th grade it's really too late to make the school team. If they stay with it all through school, then great, but if they like other sports, it's a hard choice. We have been sending our daughter to attend volleyball and basketball clinics/camps/etc., just so she's not "behind" if she decides to go that route. It wouldn't be an easy choice, but I think I will encourage her to try out for the school teams when she gets in 7th grade. I won't make her quit gym, but I hate to shut those kind of doors so early.

 

[IreneKa]

Sometimes oversimplifying can get one into trouble. My daughter is okay with many things I'm not okay with, so her OK is not enough for any major life decision. You know? Like I'm sure she'd be okay with never brushing her teeth and eating candy all day, because she doesn't understand long-term implications of such poor choices. That's where parenting comes in, right?

Hopefully you aren't reading this as angry. I'm not angry. The decision was just a little less cut and dry than what I perceive you to think.

And ultimately, we agree. Because SHE quit. We quit. Whatever, semantics. I listened, weighed, and decided to give something else a try.

I understand your feelings very well. I used to dream of DD becoming a dancer. I signed her up for dance classes when she was 3, and even at that young age she was already really good at it. But when she was 5 she suddenly decided that she didn't want to do it anymore. I was thinking, "she is only 5, what does she know", so I kept practically drugging her to classes every week for the next few months. But even when I forced her into class, she would fool around and not do anything the entire lesson, so we finally decided that it was time to quit. I was so disappointed, I think I cried for a week (silly, I know ). But we learned our lesson, and next time we asked her what SHE wanted to do, and she chose gymnastics.

Well, fast forward 6 years, and we are now facing a much more difficult situation. She DOESN'T want to quit gymnastics, she loves it so much, she doesn't want to do anything else. BUT, she is having back issues, and we've tried everything, but it's not really getting better. So, at some point soon we, parent, are going to have to make the decision for her, and make her quit. And I'm dreading that moment. It would be so much easier if she WANTED to quit. But to take away something that she truly loves is going to be very difficult.

So, yes, you are right, sometimes in life parents need to make the decisions for their children, because we know better. But you can't force them to do something they don't want to do. So, if she chose soccer over gymnastics, you absolutely made the right decision by letting her quit.

 

[CCGymbug]

I dreamed of attending my daughter's ice skating comps. She was very good and talented from age 3-6. She only dreamed of being in the gym. She is an good gymnst always middle of the pack....so not great but she loves what she is doing and that's all that matters now. Embrace what you DD loves even if it's not your choice. She will do better and go farther with her choice.

 

[Orangesoda]

I think you need to analyse what exactly it is you're so upset about. I would be very sad if my DD decided to quit gym, yes. But crying everyday is a bit excessive and a little crazy...

Is it because you don't understand soccer? I find it hard to "get into" sports I know nothing about and don't understand the rules. I'd be a bit of a lame soccer or cricket or footy mum. I really enjoy watching gymnastics and find ball sports a bit of a yawn. Anything to stop you going along to her former team mates meets and supporting them? I reckon I'd still do that to get my "fix" if DD ever quit.

I've thought about this a lot. I actually love soccer. I even still PLAY soccer regularly, so you'd think I'd be thrilled.

I think I'm more upset by the question I have of whether or not I've made the right decision for my child. She'll succeed at whatever se chooses, and she enjoys many things. After gymnastics class, gymnastics is her favorite; after soccer practice, soccer is her favorite. If she's sitting on the couch watching tv, well that's her favorite and don't ask her to get up and put practice clothes on!!

We'd already put all this time and effort into gym and she enjoys gymnastics and shows much promise, so sticking with it seemed a good choice. But I see her disappointment at not being able to do some of the things her siblings can do - play with friends after school, etc. And this is at 6yrs old, where hours are relatively low for gymnastics. So do you stick with it and hope she matures and realizes every activity requires the sacrifice of another? Or do you cut your losses and choose something else you know your kid will enjoy and hopefully excel at, knowing it's a relatively more social and less demanding sport at a young age?

This is not a "kid loves soccer, mom loves gymnastics" situation. This is a "kid loves everything but can't DO everything and be happy" situation. She's already feeling the weight of the training time now, so adding another extracurricular, at least at age 6, wasn't appropriate I guess if she plays a year of competitive soccer and decides she really misses gymnastics, she'd still be a 7yr old training level 3.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

Dd (12) has just decided to quit artistic gymnastics. She made her final decision this week. Am I sad - absolutely - I love artistic gymnastics and I love watching her do her stuff but, for a number of reasons, she feels 'done' and I have to respect that.

She has been offered the opportunity to move into another discipline of gymnastics which she has decided to take. I'll be honest - I don't 'get' the new route, but I'm hoping that one day I will - I hope I'll come to love it as much as I do artistic but, for now, she's excited (if a little nervous) which makes me happy.

Oooh @Frase hope she has fun at her new endevour. Pink has tried a bit of tumbling and now does some Acro and Rhythmic as well, so fun can be had away from WAG

 

[B.Gold]

I guess if she plays a year of competitive soccer and decides she really misses gymnastics, she'd still be a 7yr old training level 3.

Absolutely! What I've observed at my dd's gym is you can't keep a gymnast out. She may be begging you to bring her back in a week, a month or a year. But, if not, you've helped her form a great foundation for a childhood full of athletics. Be confident with your choices...

 

[lhmom]

We'd already put all this time and effort into gym and she enjoys gymnastics and shows much promise, so sticking with it seemed a good choice. But I see her disappointment at not being able to do some of the things her siblings can do - play with friends after school, etc. And this is at 6yrs old, where hours are relatively low for gymnastics. So do you stick with it and hope she matures and realizes every activity requires the sacrifice of another? Or do you cut your losses and choose something else you know your kid will enjoy and hopefully excel at, knowing it's a relatively more social and less demanding sport at a young age?
This is not a "kid loves soccer, mom loves gymnastics" situation. This is a "kid loves everything but can't DO everything and be happy" situation. She's already feeling the weight of the training time now, so adding another extracurricular, at least at age 6, wasn't appropriate I guess if she plays a year of competitive soccer and decides she really misses gymnastics, she'd still be a 7yr old training level 3.

Mine loves other sports, especially basketball. I can tell you what we did because mine started competing at age 6. While she was in compulsory, she was at gym 9 hrs a week (MWF) then increased to 12 hrs at level 5. While she was in compulsory, we found other sport leagues that were much more recreational (AYSO for soccer, 1 practice a week, game on Sat, local basketball league that was 1 practice a week, game on Sat-NO TRAVEL, not tons of practice). During the summers, she got to go to other sports camps. That seemed to satisfy her need for other sports and that is probably the only reason that she has stayed in this sport as long as she has. If she had only done gymnastics during those 1st few years, I think she would've left as soon as she finished the compulsory levels. And if she does to go back after one season of soccer, it's ok if she is a 7 yr old training level 3. I know when DD was old level 4 (now 3), the largest age group was usually the 7 to 8 yr. old. Good luck to her and to you!

 

[Orangesoda]

Absolutely! What I've observed at my dd's gym is you can't keep a gymnast out. She may be begging you to bring her back in a week, a month or a year. But, if not, you've helped her form a great foundation for a childhood full of athletics. Be confident with your choices...

Thanks