Parents Does this sport promote more Drama than most.

[gymmomntc2e6]

I stay for every practice for a couple reasons:
- I now coach classes while DD is at practice.
- I love gymnastics and want to learn all I can
- I would hate to not be there if DD got hurt and it would be 20min before I could get there.


I make a point of asking DD about once a month if gym is still fun, does she want to quit? I have gotten the same response every time so far "why would I want to do that? You know I love gymnastics. Gymnastics is my life.". Then I tell her that if it ever stops being something she loves or feels she wants to stop it is fine with us, we just want her doing what she enjoys.

 

[MdGymMom01]

I totally and completely agree with what GT (and others) posted. I think that it really gets dramatic sometimes in the gym. I just hate that part.

I've found that (for me) I deal by keeping my ears open and my mouth shut. I don't feel like I gain anything from the drama, the stage parents, the screaming at judges, the way some of them speak to their children...a lot of the time I just keep still and am thankful that I'm not in on it. I think it all speaks for itself. Who the true supports are in the gym, who is out for themselves, who is trying to live through their children, who isn't a true team player...but in the midst of all of the drama, the really great personalities of those uninvolved really shine!

On occasion, though, I sometimes want to connect with the real drama queens in the gym...get to know them...take them out for coffee and just sit and chat. I've done this on a few occasions and have found that: a lot of the time, when someone is creating drama in any given situation, things are often starting to go well for them in their lives...they seem to create the drama as a shield - because they don't know how to handle happiness and "need" the drama. I'm not saying that ALL people are this way, just something that I've noticed...here...where we live...in the middle of east-flippin-nowhere...

Actually this makes a lot of sense. It is also known as "crisis-oriented living". When people have grown up in a dysfunctional family be it alcohol, drugs, abuse, etc., they tend to always have some sort of crisis going on at home. When you grow up like this, you tend to get used to the drama happening and that is "normal" to you. When things run smoothly and calmly, many people get freaked out and don't know how to handle it, so they create drama for them to feel "normal" again. It is pretty common, actually. Dysfunctional, but common.

 

[TeamDad]

DD's been doing gymnastics for 2+1/2 years now. She's an 11 year old L6 and she's loving every minute of it. She might not win in meets where she's competing against kids who've been doing this since they were five, but she sure does make their parents nervous

The olympic dream is a wonderful thing. Representing our country in sport is a remarkable accomplishment. To those that travel that path, we should make an effort to respect their sacrifices.

 

[mbphoto]

I actually have found myself wondering the same thing. I have never been involved in gymnastics until my two DDs started. Now, I am at the gym 5 days a week(of course they couldn't go on the same days). And gymanstics seems to run a lot of my life.

I have come to the conclusion that whether it be gymnastics, ballet, horseback riding(which is what I do and my girls DO NOT), tennis or any other sport, I will be totally involved because I can't stand to miss it when they accomplish a new skill.

So, I believe the drama will be there no matter where we go. And I choose to love the drama for what it is - CRAZINESS!! And we all keep on going.

I don't remember all the pressure and drama in the horse business. My mom was our trainer and we had a barn full of all level riders. I guess I was more focused on the horses and didn't get the parent perspective yet. I think that is why I posed the question in the first place. Horse business seemed very different to me. I was also a trainer for a short time after college and still didn't find the mothers at my barn this way. Congrats on almost making the Olympic team. Because I was a pony rider for most of my career, the bigger horses were not in my future because of my size. If you were in my region, you may remember my pony Farnley Monsoon or my horse Broadway Blues. I sure do miss the horses and wish at least one of my daughters had shown an interest.

 

[Blackie6]

Everyone made such great points, I agree with almost everything that's been said. I think gymnastics drama is no different that any other kid sport drama. My 2 sons have been involved with baseball for the past 6 years. One played one year on an Traveling all star "A" team. If your kid wasn't having a good day at bat, you should HEAR the unkind comments from the parents sitting on the bench. I also had a son that played on an All star "B" team and then you get the negative comments from the "A" parents and the "A" children as to why is your son even playing because he was not good enough for the A team? Sometimes kids just want to play ball (and know they are not "a" material) and not be training for the major leagues at age 12. Anyway, some of those parents are not afraid to scream things at coaches, umpires and even kids! My son also finished up a season of wrestling. Parents stand on side of mats and scream to their kids with they are in middle of a match, sometimes standing only a couple feet away! Talk about pressure!

I try to stay out of any drama in the gym, but it is everywhere and in every sport!

 

[SkiBumGymMom]

Great post Bogo (to jump on the bandwagon).

There's definitely nothing wrong with being involved in your daughters activities and lives. To some extent its healthy. As a teacher I completely support parental involvement, nothing irks me more than parents who won't return phone calls or come to conferences!

That said, I'm pretty anti-gym mom. But from the sounds of it, my girls are a lot older than some of your girls. I think there's a big difference between a parent talking to a coach at every practice and pushing their daughter to motivate them when they're in elementary school than the same kind of behavior with a high schooler. I just speak from my experience with some of the older girls and behavior I see from parents at the higher levels. Blah.

Hope there's no hard feelings! There's definitely a backstory behind every girl that we don't see, so whoever said to try not to judge too much is right. But every so often there is going to be that situation that makes you cringe and turn away lol.

 

[ellabella]

Parents are crazy everywhere. As I talked about in another thread my DD just started TBall. At her last practice a lot of the parents were coaching from the stands. They were yelling things and were getting really mad at their kids for not doing different things correctly. I would never go the gym and yell something across the gym at my kid.

The funniest thing I heard was actually in reference to my DD. She can't hit (can barely hold the bat up actually), definitely can't catch and can't really throw either, but she can fun really fast. They have races and eliminate the last one across the line until there is only 2 left. DD has won every time. This dad was getting on to his son for losing to a "girl". He wasn't saying it in a funny way either. It's not like my DD is in competition for a spot in the in field. She will be holding down the outfield.

 

[gymjourneymom]

I think there are "crazy" parents involved in all kids sports. Since gymnastics involves such intensive training year round(not seasonal like some sports), maybe it seems like there are more "crazies", because you never get a break from them. Once when my DD did pee-wee(co-ed) soccer she was taking the ball down the field, towards the goal. This big burly Dad stands up in the stands & yells to his son, "Get the little girl!". Not get the ball or block the goal...but "get the little girl"! Can you believe it? DD made the goal & continued in soccer for a few more seasons. But we saw plenty of crazies in soccer too.

 

[TeamDad]

I was sitting backstage at the Met last night waiting to pick DD up. All the other kids were released from rehearsal so it was just me and the parents of the other acrobats sitting there (DD is in Pagliacci). I started listening to the conversations of the other parents and I had to laugh after reading this thread.

Is this where the term 'stage mom' comes from?

 

[sheplaysinthechalk]

I was sitting backstage at the Met last night waiting to pick DD up. All the other kids were released from rehearsal so it was just me and the parents of the other acrobats sitting there (DD is in Pagliacci). I started listening to the conversations of the other parents and I had to laugh after reading this thread.

Is this where the term 'stage mom' comes from?

I'm thinking maybe, or probably that's where it comes from!

I never really thought about it before...just assumed (A$$ of U & ME) that 'stage mom' referred to those trying to be 'on stage' for their children because they don't believe that their children are capable of 'winning' on their own.....so they do ANYTHING and everything to get in the way of everyone else...and everyone else's children....

i'm not scared to admit that i was probably wrong about this, though ...since i've been wrong before - and will be wrong millions more probably!

 

[TeamDad]

I'm thinking maybe, or probably that's where it comes from!

I never really thought about it before...just assumed (A$$ of U & ME) that 'stage mom' referred to those trying to be 'on stage' for their children because they don't believe that their children are capable of 'winning' on their own.....so they do ANYTHING and everything to get in the way of everyone else...and everyone else's children....

i'm not scared to admit that i was probably wrong about this, though ...since i've been wrong before - and will be wrong millions more probably!

LOL....Sorry, I should have explained. They were ragging on their gym, their coaches etc...talking about finding an Olympic coach to do privates with and so on.

I introduced myself because the rehearsal was running late, I was illegally parked, and my 5 y.o. was tearing the place up and getting me in trouble with the security guards. I was hoping one of them could bring DD out for me after rehearsal finished so I could wait in the car and put a story on for DS - assuming the car was still there and hadn't been towed

Then one of them asks me who my DD is, says she hears she's very good and starts asking me if we have plans to get her to the Olympics.....

It just made me laugh because a had just read this thread and it struck me funny...yup, just hanging back stage with the moms

BTW - This is what DD is looking at when she's on stage

 

[ValleyGymMom]

I think everyone agrees that there is some degree of drama in gymnastics. Some gyms more than others. My dd is forunate to go to a gym that is light on drama and heavy on support for each other. We have two gyms in our small town and we frequently get girls from the other gym. Their reason for switching? Too much drama and pressure at the other gym. Our girls work extremely hard (my dd goes up to 18 hours a week) but the coaches try to keep it fun too. So yes, there is drama, and yes there are pushy parents, but some gyms have much more than others.

About cheerleading (and I apologize to all the cheer parents) I believe there is much more drama there. When I was in high school 30 years ago , the cheerleaders were the most popular girls in school and I don't think that has changed much. Maybe I'm wrong, my girls were never cheerleaders, but it just always seems to be the case. Gymnastics isn't necessarily a popularity contest.

In every sport you will find drama. As parents we all want our kids to succeed. Whether it's a sport, music, or academics. I encourage my kids to do SOMETHING. My dd went to her first class at age 8 and has no interest in anything else. She is a hard-core gymnast. I love it when she does well, because like any other parent I am proud of her accomplishments.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

I think that alot of drama is created by the kids themselves, they are a bunch of girls spending alot of time together in a competitive sport. My daughters team it seems like one minute they are bickering and complaining about each other the next minute they are hugging each other and are best friends. I am trying to stay out of it so when my daughter complains about one of her teammates I just ignore her because I know the next day it will pass. The girls seem alot more closer than I have seen other team mates from other sports. I know from time to time the coach will have to address the catiness with the girls. I am lucky the other parents are all very nice and supportive and we cheer the all the girls on as a team.

 

[sheplaysinthechalk]

BTW - This is what DD is looking at when she's on stage

(eyes bugging out of my head...jaw on the floor)

UUUMMMMMMM: HOLY MOLEY!!!!!!!!!!!! How incredible for her! That is breath-taking and quite magnificent!

 

[Hattie]

wow that stage shot is amazing-you'd have to have serious guts to get up there!
I used to be a surrogate gym Mom for my cousin (her Mum simply gets too nervous to watch her!) and I agree about the whole 'typical girls' thing-her class is 9 11 year olds, who she can't stand one day adn came back crying because they'd been *****y about her then is best friends with the next! Personally i think that horse riding (in particular show jumping) is the worst sport for pushy parents. It's basically a load of rich parents who buy their kids a ready made, push button pony so kid can go out and win tonnes of rosettes but doesn't really have to do anyting and most of the time isn't really having fun. Although I competed at a high level in pony jumping classes my parents can't stand the pushy parent thing and were more than content to be in charge of holding the pony's rug, my whip and a packet of polo mints, whilst my trainer provided the drama!

 

[Tim_Dad]

"Does this sport promote more Drama than most"

Clearly you've never been to a Boxing or professional wrestling match.

Gym, like most sports, has it's moments, but nothing even remotely close to other competitive sports.

I've seen some faily obsessed Gym parents in the past, but they are romper-room parents compared to some of the Football/wresting dad's. These people actually scare me.

 

[FlipsLeos]

My daughter - now 8 - changed to gymnastics after watching one of her soccer teammate's dads make his daughter cry. For missing a goal. When they were up by about 10 goals already, and the kids were six going on seven.

So I don't know that I would say gym promotes more drama than other sports. I think there are definitely dramatic parents, but they are there in every sport!! They are the ones I just steer clear of when we go, avoid as much as humanly possible.

I've been pretty impressed at our gym. I USED to think there was a fair bit of drama, but I came to realize the drama was just ONE mother. I was silly enough to actually TALK to her!! When I'd had enough and opened my eyes a bit, I found out all these other supposedly horrid parents and their children were really very, very nice people with decent kids... and --gasp!!-- I actually enjoy talking to them more! We sit together at meets, encourage ALL our children, and take pride in what they are all doing as a team.

And - as Hattie mentioned - you should try the horse show world if you want drama.

 

[GasnGoMum]

It's comforting AND discouraging to learn that the "Gym Drama" isn't limited to the sport of gymnastics. After several years of being in this sport and observing some of the out-of-control my-daughter-is-going-to-the-olympics gym parents, I have come to one major conclusion. I believe many of these parents probably had good intentions at the start of their child's gymnastics journey---they wanted to be supportive, and encourage them to do their best. However, somewhere along the line they forgot that the sport was about the child, and that their child's *physical* performance doesn't reflect good or bad parenting. How a child scores at a meet should generate one response: clapping, encouragement, and hugs. Regardless of whether they come in first or last place.

Unfortunately, many of these "stage parents" get so involved in the end result ("Did she win first?" "Did she beat out such-and-such on the team?") that they completely lose control. Suddenly the parents are there at every practice, yelling at their kids to "try harder", or "I can't believe you fell off beam again!". I have even seen parents push the coaches into teaching them how to spot their child on the beam or floor so they can practice an optional-level skill at home! Highly dangerous and unnecessary when you have coaches who are trained to do that in a safe environment.

The worst part is a lot of these gym parents constantly gossip and complain about other girls on their DD's team, especially those that are scoring 'better" in their opinion. They don't even realize they are doing it in front of their kids. They have no idea the animosity this creates amongst teammates, and the performance anxiety they cause their own kids. These are the parents that won't cheer for certain girls on the team, constantly keep track of other kids' scores, and create division.

I am sorry for the long rant; I just hope there are some parents out there reading this that may realize they have gotten a little too deep into their child's sport---whether it be gymnastics, soccer, ballet, hockey, etc. Perhaps they may see the damage they are doing not only to their child, but to other kids as well. When it comes right down to it, talented or not, first or last, they are ALL just kids, right? Let's protect them and let them enjoy their sport!

 

[mariposa]

Interesting thread. I haven't seen much gym drama at DDs gym. There are some pushy parents, but for the most part, all the girls and parents are really great and supportive of all the girls. I think drama is in all sports/activities.

I do think that my DD has had more than her OWN share of drama with the sport. She dreams big and sadly, her coaches apparently don't share that dream with her, so lately, with the season ending, move up time, etc, she is feeling extremely sad and has cried the whole way home both practices so far this week. She hasn't been put in the uptraining group and her best friend has been and she is devastated.

I hate seeing my kid so sad and not wanting to do what she LOVES to do. I came to watch for the last 30 minutes of practice today and the only time she was having fun was when she was doing front handsprings into the pit. I watched her stand there staring at her friend in the other group, looking very sad, obviously wishing she was in that group working on L5 and L6 stuff. Broke my heart.