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MILgymFAM

Proud Parent
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Feb 6, 2014
4,717
42
Twin Cities
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I figured now is as good a time as any to give a long update on both of my DDs. We've gone through a ton of changes in the past 6-8 months, with more to come this summer. Their seasons are officially complete- we've declined regionals for both sports for financial reasons with our upcoming move from CA to VA.


My YDD switched gyms in September because her old coach was breaking her spirit. He ignored her successes and hard work and only cared that she wasn't picking up new skills quick enough for him. He told me he didn't like her and thought she wasn't earning her place in her group. He wanted to move her to the L3-5 training group to make room for kids who "want it more". She was a L6 at the time. They also ignored multiple injuries and belittled her for them, even when directly caused by them.


She switched to her new gym and we love it. The atmosphere is just what she needed. Unfortunately she was again pushed up (to L7) a little quicker than she was ready for (in a much kinder way, at least), and adding the stress of our upcoming cross country move.. and boom. Recipe for a block. She's been battling a block on backwards skills since February. This is especially unfortunate in T&T because almost everything is a backwards skill. She's gone from being pushed through, to scratched, to forced to stand on the tramp in front of judges at a meet shaking and crying, to finally telling her coach NO, she was scratching at states.


She competed states this weekend and was so relieved that she found the courage to scratch. She competed double mini and was a happy camper. She didn't win.. just one of those things. She stuck all her warm ups and then took a step in comp, but she did place second and is happy to be in the off season where she can focus on getting better in her head- her term. That second place medal at states felt like a huge victory in overcoming her anxiousness and desire to skip competing altogether.


T&T is shaking up their levels next season, so who knows where she will shake out. Neither of us care at this point. We are taking her last two months with her gym (we move in June) as a gift of time and just looking to stay in love with the sport.


So, ODD. We pulled her from artistic (L6) in October because the commute was hellish (gym was supposed to move closer in June and didn't. Finally did in February).


She decided to give rhythmic a try and fell in love. She was originally going to compete JO, but she was significantly older than everyone else in the state (at least 6 years older than the next oldest girl of her level) that they decided to try USAG's new Xpress program for her. It's the rhythmic equivalent of Xcel. She has had so much fun and learned so much in her six months on rhythmic team. She is the only Xpress gymnast in California, which could be embarrassing for some other girl, but she's happy to be somewhat of a brand ambassador and hopes that her putting herself out there will let other older girls feel comfortable giving rhythmic a try.


Since the rhythmic team is at my YDDs T&T gym, she decided to give power tumbling a try. That morphed into her fully joining the T&T team as well. She started off her T&T season in last place in all three events. No biggie, she was last place at all but one artistic meet last season- no one could ever say she's in it for the medals! Ha! Anyway, she worked really hard all season and ended her L6 season on Saturday as the double-mini state champion! She medaled on the other two events as well. She never believed she could be a state champion at anything and she was positively beaming. She made friends with all the girls from other teams- her competition- and they were all cheering for each other so loudly at awards. It was amazing and everything I as a parent could hope sportsmanship could be.


Throughout the season she has maintained an hour a week private in artistic with a local gym's HC. She has gotten over her artistic blocks and gained some new skills to boot. She "got" a new bar and beam routine, a new vault, and new floor skills (she adores her previously made floor routine). When we move she is going to try out at two rhythmic gyms, two Xcel gyms, and two T&T gyms. Rather than going to VA with expectations she is going with an open mind. She has figured out that finding a coach that she can connect with, and an environment she can breath in, is more important than which discipline she ends up competing. It will be whichever discipline she feels at home with the coach and team. I am chalking that up to a mark of extreme maturity. She's also going to Italy for a month while we move, and I am pleasantly surprised to say my anxious girl isn't worried about losing skills at all. It's amazing the amount of ease and confidence the rights coaches can help instill.


Finally, a confession. My hubby is that gym parent. The one everyone hates. The one we talk about on here. It flows to my girls, but he's even worse at meets. He picks apart all the girls and derides them. I have tried to kindly explain why he shouldn't. I have pointed out that it would stink for people to talk about our girls (he truly wouldn't care). I have straight out asked him to just be quiet. He's impossible and he's cluelessly rude. For anyone who ever sat by us at a meet- my sincerest apologies. Thank goodness he only makes it to a few meets a year.
 

suebee

Proud Parent
Dec 6, 2012
378
What a great season!

(My mom is also that classic rude person at meets. And she wonders why I don't want her to come to meets. I'm just mortified by her commentary and don't want to subject anyone to her, including myself. I see so many sweet nice grandparents at meets ... and then there is my mom.)
 

MILgymFAM

Proud Parent
Fan
Feb 6, 2014
4,717
42
Twin Cities
What a great season!

(My mom is also that classic rude person at meets. And she wonders why I don't want her to come to meets. I'm just mortified by her commentary and don't want to subject anyone to her, including myself. I see so many sweet nice grandparents at meets ... and then there is my mom.)

Ugh! I tried to not sit with him this weekend but then he's just louder! No one complains when he can't make it to meets!
 

cadybearsmommy

Proud Parent
Dec 31, 2010
1,683
Region 8
Your daughters have not only done well at competitions but it sounds like they have had some really amazing personal victories as well which is even more important. You are a great mom for supporting them in trying to find their own path. I hope they both find a gym that works great for them after the move. Keep us updated and congratulations to them both!
 

sce

Proud Parent
Mar 11, 2014
6,149
So glad they had a positive finish to their season. All the best to you in your upcoming move.
 
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NutterButter

Gold Membership
Proud Parent
Jan 24, 2013
883
Congrats to your DD's! Good luck on your upcoming move too.

My mom is like your DH. When she comes to any sporting event I make sure we are sitting away from others because I never know what's going to come out of her mouth.
 

Seeker

Proud Parent
Aug 30, 2012
6,687
USA
I'm glad they both had some successes this weekend! Your stories were heartwarming and then the end bit about your hubby cracked me up! At least you know so you can try to protect others! :D
 

EGPtriumph

Proud Parent
Mar 30, 2017
36
View attachment 6654 View attachment 6655 View attachment 6656 I figured now is as good a time as any to give a long update on both of my DDs. We've gone through a ton of changes in the past 6-8 months, with more to come this summer. Their seasons are officially complete- we've declined regionals for both sports for financial reasons with our upcoming move from CA to VA.


My YDD switched gyms in September because her old coach was breaking her spirit. He ignored her successes and hard work and only cared that she wasn't picking up new skills quick enough for him. He told me he didn't like her and thought she wasn't earning her place in her group. He wanted to move her to the L3-5 training group to make room for kids who "want it more". She was a L6 at the time. They also ignored multiple injuries and belittled her for them, even when directly caused by them.


She switched to her new gym and we love it. The atmosphere is just what she needed. Unfortunately she was again pushed up (to L7) a little quicker than she was ready for (in a much kinder way, at least), and adding the stress of our upcoming cross country move.. and boom. Recipe for a block. She's been battling a block on backwards skills since February. This is especially unfortunate in T&T because almost everything is a backwards skill. She's gone from being pushed through, to scratched, to forced to stand on the tramp in front of judges at a meet shaking and crying, to finally telling her coach NO, she was scratching at states.


She competed states this weekend and was so relieved that she found the courage to scratch. She competed double mini and was a happy camper. She didn't win.. just one of those things. She stuck all her warm ups and then took a step in comp, but she did place second and is happy to be in the off season where she can focus on getting better in her head- her term. That second place medal at states felt like a huge victory in overcoming her anxiousness and desire to skip competing altogether.


T&T is shaking up their levels next season, so who knows where she will shake out. Neither of us care at this point. We are taking her last two months with her gym (we move in June) as a gift of time and just looking to stay in love with the sport.


So, ODD. We pulled her from artistic (L6) in October because the commute was hellish (gym was supposed to move closer in June and didn't. Finally did in February).


She decided to give rhythmic a try and fell in love. She was originally going to compete JO, but she was significantly older than everyone else in the state (at least 6 years older than the next oldest girl of her level) that they decided to try USAG's new Xpress program for her. It's the rhythmic equivalent of Xcel. She has had so much fun and learned so much in her six months on rhythmic team. She is the only Xpress gymnast in California, which could be embarrassing for some other girl, but she's happy to be somewhat of a brand ambassador and hopes that her putting herself out there will let other older girls feel comfortable giving rhythmic a try.


Since the rhythmic team is at my YDDs T&T gym, she decided to give power tumbling a try. That morphed into her fully joining the T&T team as well. She started off her T&T season in last place in all three events. No biggie, she was last place at all but one artistic meet last season- no one could ever say she's in it for the medals! Ha! Anyway, she worked really hard all season and ended her L6 season on Saturday as the double-mini state champion! She medaled on the other two events as well. She never believed she could be a state champion at anything and she was positively beaming. She made friends with all the girls from other teams- her competition- and they were all cheering for each other so loudly at awards. It was amazing and everything I as a parent could hope sportsmanship could be.


Throughout the season she has maintained an hour a week private in artistic with a local gym's HC. She has gotten over her artistic blocks and gained some new skills to boot. She "got" a new bar and beam routine, a new vault, and new floor skills (she adores her previously made floor routine). When we move she is going to try out at two rhythmic gyms, two Xcel gyms, and two T&T gyms. Rather than going to VA with expectations she is going with an open mind. She has figured out that finding a coach that she can connect with, and an environment she can breath in, is more important than which discipline she ends up competing. It will be whichever discipline she feels at home with the coach and team. I am chalking that up to a mark of extreme maturity. She's also going to Italy for a month while we move, and I am pleasantly surprised to say my anxious girl isn't worried about losing skills at all. It's amazing the amount of ease and confidence the rights coaches can help instill.


Finally, a confession. My hubby is that gym parent. The one everyone hates. The one we talk about on here. It flows to my girls, but he's even worse at meets. He picks apart all the girls and derides them. I have tried to kindly explain why he shouldn't. I have pointed out that it would stink for people to talk about our girls (he truly wouldn't care). I have straight out asked him to just be quiet. He's impossible and he's cluelessly rude. For anyone who ever sat by us at a meet- my sincerest apologies. Thank goodness he only makes it to a few meets a year.
Congrats to your girls!
 

NY Dad

Proud Parent
Sep 2, 2016
1,101
New York
Thanks for the update. I've really enjoyed following your story. You should be so proud of your dd's. Good luck with the move.

He picks apart all the girls and derides them.
Thanks for your confession. You're braver than almost all of us (I'm sure very few of us are 100% transparent here) I got the impression from previous posts that your husband isn't really involved in gymnastics. I'm just curious what kind of things he's saying?

I haven't been to too many meets so thankfully I haven't came across this negativity yet.

I tried to not sit with him this weekend but then he's just louder
Is he trying to upset you?

Sorry, you put it out there.
 
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MILgymFAM

Proud Parent
Fan
Feb 6, 2014
4,717
42
Twin Cities
Thanks for the update. I've really enjoyed following your story. You should be so proud of your dd's. Good luck with the move.

Thanks for your confession. You're braver than almost all of us (I'm sure very few of us are 100% transparent here) I got the impression from previous posts that your husband isn't really involved in gymnastics. I'm just curious what kind of things he's saying?

I haven't been to too many meets so thankfully I haven't came across this negativity yet.

Is he trying to upset you?

Sorry, you put it out there.

No worries, I'm 100% transparent all the time. Anyway, he doesn't try to upset me, he's just a really loud person and I shush him a lot. Lol. It's just that he thinks everyone is too sensitive and too politically correct and he should be able to call things as he sees them.

He is not involved in gymnastics very much. He doesn't drive to/from practice and doesn't know their coaches or even their levels until he is going to a meet.

Some of the things he would say at meets are (and these are highly censored- we cuss a lot and he can't seem to turn it off like I can):

Dang, she ate poop (while laughing)
Wow, it's like she's not even trying
That looked awful
Why come if you're not even gonna try
That's gonna be last place
Her legs were bent/far apart/ froggy

He's also made fun of boys' hair on occasion if he thinks it's weird or off.

He has mentioned girls' weights (which is particularly ridiculous given my girls).

Like I said, he's kinda a jerk about stuff like this. He is critical of my own girls performance, and thinks comments like his should slide right off people.
 
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my4buffaloes

Proud Parent
Apr 14, 2010
5,287
Midwest
Oh my, my MIL is like that! She only makes it to about 1 meet every 2 years at this point, but it can be so embarrassing. I remember when we lived by them and they came to every single sporting event for my kids. I mean I want them there, but please be quiet!

So glad your girls have found success in what works for them. Good luck with the move.
 

BachFlyer

Proud Parent
Mar 29, 2010
1,103
I am so happy for your girls! I know they are both multi-talented, and it's really awesome that they have you to help channel all of their talents into a healthy outlet, whatever that might be! I love hearing your story, and you should be super proud of them, and yourself, too. It can be exceedingly hard as parents to navigate gymnastics with all its ups and downs, but especially when you don't have another parent that understands to bounce things off of. I am in that boat myself; I rely on my gym friends a lot for that! Wishing you all the success in the world with the move and the new gym hunt! And I hope your daughter has an AMAZING time in Italy, too!
 

Sasha

Proud Parent
May 15, 2013
1,583
It's amazing the amount of ease and confidence the rights coaches can help instill.

^^^^^ THIS a million times.

Lots of well-meaning parents and coaches on CB send out general advice to worried parents to the themes of "just relax and enjoy the ride" and "let the coaches coach and stay out of it."

That is WAAAAAYYY easier to do when you DO actually have the 'right' coaches and environment that are a match for your child. Many of us have not always had this, or still do not - either due to lack of opportunities in one's area, or lack of knowledge of how to look for and get the right fit. There is no 'relaxing' and 'enjoying' and 'trusting' when the environment (personality, program philosophy, etc) is not a fit and not fostering the love of sport in one's child. Your story @MILgymFAM is a perfect example of this difficult journey through which you and your beautiful daughters have fought and persevered. Thank you for sharing it! And I am so glad to hear you and your girls found a place of peace and achievement at the end of your California adventure, and are now well-equipped and empowered to find the best fit in your new home.

And LOL about the husband. Mine is not quite that bad, but still doesn't realize (despite me repeatedly shushing him :confused:) that even his 'soft voice' critiquing little Susie or Johnny's floor routine can be heard by the parents squeezed next to us in the stands o_Oo_Oo_O
 

Ali'sMom

Proud Parent
Feb 20, 2014
3,116
I have followed you ODD's journey, and this whole post made my heart smile for both of your DDs!!!
I am so glad they have both found the fun and confidence!
I teared up picturing the other girls cheering for your DD!!!! And I love that she's willing to try out for everything in VA and go where she's happy and where it works. I applaud you for that. For showing her that no matter what, she can find her happiness and joy in a sport. You, ma'am, have to be one of the greatest gymmoms out there!
 
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