Didn't mean to get you all worked up Dunno
. I really wanted this to be a thread where people could find some help with fear issues/mental blocks. My DD's situation is not the norm, of that I am sure. But she has found help(not a cure) in following Doc Ali's teachings. Fear is still a struggle for her & it pains me to watch. I have become very disillusioned with this sport that my DD loves so much. That is why I haven't been posting much of late.
I agree there are plenty of "those" parents who are more of the problem than the solution. I can with all honesty say that I have never been one to sit with my nose pressed against the glass, coaching from the side lines or 2nd guessing coaches. I have only been my DD biggest cheerleader & tried to find her help when she needed it(as with these videos, taking her to a sports psychologist & getting her privates with supportive coaches). If you've followed my posts you know I am in awe of my DD and all gymnasts! I do not push her in gymnastics(she leads & I follow along looking dazed & confused
). I know gymnastics is only part of who she is, not who she is. I see the WHOLE beautiful picture!
My DD is 14yo & in highschool now, she is a smart, strong young lady. I'm allowing her to make choices about her life. I support her totally, but I'm not living her life for her. She is doing the work & putting in the hours. As far as I'm concerned I see she has MANY talents & I will support whatever she chooses to put her efforts into. Things(school, sports, music) have always come easy to her. She excels at whatever she tries(I'm not trying to be a bragging mom here, I'm just stating fact). Gymnastics is the one thing that forces her to push herself beyond her comfort level, she has to work at it. And that is exactly what she DOES love about it. She likes to be challenged. If it also came easy to her, I don't think she would like it as much.
But I wish I could will her fears away for her, my heart physically aches when I watch her struggle with fear. Then I see how strong she has become mentally & physically. She doesn't back away from any challenge, gym or elsewhere(even her HC hasn't driven her away!). And when she pulls through a struggle she shines!!!! She is a remarkable person! I swear she's going to be the CEO of a company someday
! Actually she wants to own a gym "and coach the RIGHT way"(her words). Maybe she'll become as famous as Doc Ali one day
One of the hardest things right now, is the "level" thing. I really do not, let me repeat, do not care what level or even if she competes at all. But her "friends" that all moved up are having "L8" parties/sleepovers etc. and excluding her because she didn't move up with them. Well, with "friends" like that...you know how the saying goes
! They are the reason she stayed at this gym, through all of her fear issues & abuse from the coach. Because of her "friends" she stayed & now this is how they treat her. Yes, gymnastics really does teach life lessons at a young age
As for HC/owner. If he competed at all, it was back in grade school or highschool. It's never really talked about. Our website mentions all the other coaches gymnastics background & accomplishments BUT the HC/owner only mentions his coaching background. Basically he's a bully. A grown up bully. There are some wonderful coaches at our gym. So I'm not a coach basher
in general. But with 1 hurtful comment he can manage to undo all of the other coaches hard & patient work with her. He really doesn't understand kids or fear issues & he only cares about winning. Yes, he sees a gymnasts 'failure' as his failure & heaven forbid, HE cannot fail. There are so many issues with him...he really needs a psychologist & I'm NOT joking. He really has no business working with children, JMHO.
I've tried to get my DD to try other gyms. She never wanted to leave her "friends". Now with the combination of "friend" issues, fear issues, HC bullying. Her next step will probably be to leave the sport she loves. I really have no idea how she goes there everyday! But she has numerous other talents to explore & sometimes I wish she'd do just that.
Her & I have had many, many heart to heart talks. But with all of this...it is now the "friends" issue that hurts her the most. I think that is what is going to cause her to leave the sport in the long run. There are many mental aspects at work here. And without "friendship" she feels like she can't deal with the rest of it anymore. I can't blame her. She has been a wonderful friend to these girls since they were all very young(pre-team). She was the star of compulsories, but was ALWAYS a gracious winner & supportive of her friends. And now this is how they treat her
. I'm ready for her to leave this sport, she's learned enough to last her a lifetime. She is already very wise beyond her 14yrs. But as I said it is her choice. I will let her keeping on going if that is what she wishes to do. I will take her to a different gym if that is what she wants. But so far she chooses to stay. We'll see how the season progresses.
Sorry this is a book! I've been holding in lots of feelings. I really can't talk to anyone at the gym about any of this, as you can imagine. That is why I love CB so much! If you even got this far I want to say "Thanks" for letting me vent!