Parents Gymnast asked not to return

[GymRat246]

In April, our gym requires us to inform them of our intent to return, but the season doesn't end until May 31st. My child has been with this particular gym for 5 years, but we have decided to try a different gym for the upcoming season.
Our team just wrapped up state competition and there is a full month before the season officially ends. My child suffered an ankle injury at school today and asked if she could skip gymnastics practice today. Of course, we said yes.
We called to notify the gym that they would be out and we were told "not to return, it is best we part ways!" They also stated they would refund our payment for May.
There is an end of season team party next week, we have already RSVP'd.....does this mean my child can't attend? She hasn't even received her score card from the state competition, cleaned out her locker or said goodbye to her teammates.
Who would do this to a child?
We are livid!!!!! Any advice on how to handle this situation? My child does not know any of this yet.

 

[Ty’s Dad]

They found out you was switching gyms. Most gyms do that

 

[gymgal]

Most gyms DO NOT do this. Unfortunately the ones that do ruin the reputation for all the more reasonable ones. I would be livid too. It is probably best in the long run to let it go. Arrange a time to go pick up her things without her and hope that this gym has not bad mouthed your family to the new gym. However, I personally would be tempted to call them back and let them know your thoughts on the matter in terms of how this will affect your child, who was part of their family for 5 years and tell them that she plans to go to the party so that she can gather her things and celebrate the season with the team before saying her goodbyes

 

[Ty’s Dad]

Most gyms DO NOT do this. Unfortunately the ones that do ruin the reputation for all the more reasonable ones. I would be livid too. It is probably best in the long run to let it go. Arrange a time to go pick up her things without her and hope that this gym has not bad mouthed your family to the new gym. However, I personally would be tempted to call them back and let them know your thoughts on the matter in terms of how this will affect your child, who was part of their family for 5 years and tell them that she plans to go to the party so that she can gather her things and celebrate the season with the team before saying her goodbyes

Don’t know where you’re from but yeah I heard about at least 5 gyms doing this my way Once they find out your leaving t

 

[ORgymmom]

I can see it from the gym’s perspective. If they knew in April that you weren’t returning for next season, and they’re putting together the team for the next season, it’s very likely they have been running tryouts for your daughter’s level and were ready to fill the spot in that workout group. In our area, team slots are at a premium and I could see this happening, especially if they were competing with another gym for a new athlete. If it’s a full gym and they sense you’re half out the door, they may as well get the new athlete in right away and have an empty locker for her. It must feel awful for you and the conversation could have been less abrupt.

 

[GymnastMomX2]

I hate that gyms do this, but unfortunately I think it’s pretty common if they learn that you’re switching to another gym.

 

[GymRat246]

They found out you was switching gyms. Most gyms do that

We never told them we were going to a new gym...just not returningto that one. We're still looking at the moment and doing research.

 

[GymRat246]

I can see it from the gym’s perspective. If they knew in April that you weren’t returning for next season, and they’re putting together the team for the next season, it’s very likely they have been running tryouts for your daughter’s level and were ready to fill the spot in that workout group. In our area, team slots are at a premium and I could see this happening, especially if they were competing with another gym for a new athlete. If it’s a full gym and they sense you’re half out the door, they may as well get the new athlete in right away and have an empty locker for her. It must feel awful for you and the conversation could have been less abrupt.

I wish this were true, but they hold tryouts at the end of May. The Summer season starts in June, so my child still being there shouldn't have affected their roster.

 

[Aussie_coach]

It does sound like they found out you were looking elsewhere. There doesn’t seem to be any other explanation for them asking you to leave.

The gyms worry because quitting can be catching. If one child or parent is unsatisfied they worry they will chat to others and increase the discontent.

It can’t hurt to ask them why she has been dismissed, you don’t really have anything to lose with this gym now.

 

[WV Gym Mom]

We never told them we were going to a new gym...just not returningto that one. We're still looking at the moment and doing research.

If you have talked to any other gyms in the area, they probably already know that you have.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

A lot of gyms do this if they hear you've been trying out other gyms, and it's really scummy imo.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Ok so you told them in April you would not be back next year. But the “season” goes until the end of May. You daughter is now hurt.

So they essentially said your daughter can’t practice this month. One month. Likely because they don’t want to deal with a potential injury for a gymnast they know is not returning. And they are even giving you the the months tuition back.

For perspective. You go imagine doing this to us after 5 years. They go,
imagine doing this to us after 5 years.

The reality is you saved a month’s tuition at a gym you already decided to leave and told you were leaving. Your daughter has time to heal her ankle.

Go to the party and say your goodbyes, which is what you were going to do any way.

 

[JBS]

The gyms worry because quitting can be catching. If one child or parent is unsatisfied they worry they will chat to others and increase the discontent.

I agree with this statement.

While it's not cool that gyms do this... they are a business... they have employees to support. While it's not a huge deal with one athlete... the chatting can increase that to 3... 5... or even 10 athletes shopping around. 10 athletes could hit the gym at the cost of a full-time coach depending on tuition.

While I don't agree that this is the best way to do things and clubs should find a better way... reality still exists. What clubs usually don't take into consideration is that cutting the athlete / family many times creates more talk and bad vibes than anything else ever could.

I would contact the gym and talk to them. I would lead with the fact that you are moving to a new gym and then ask your questions.

 

[NutterButter]

While it's not cool that gyms do this... they are a business... they have employees to support. While it's not a huge deal with one athlete... the chatting can increase that to 3... 5... or even 10

This happened at my DD’s gym. A very talented younger sister left to train at an elite gym but the older sister wanted to stay. Gym said no. Next thing, 6 walked out the door to a gym down the road. Little sister trained at the elite gym 45 min away while the gym lost an entire cohort to an another gym 7 min away.

 

[Gigi]

Sounds about right. I have seen it happen a few times. It is terrible that they do that. Letting the girl go doesn't stop it from catching, the moms and the girls still talk after they leave.

True story, I actually know someone who was not truthful about what gym she's from when she tried out at another gym but it got back to our gym anyway, because one of the girls there recognized this girl from a meet and told her mom, who immediately called a mom at our gym, who went to the coach that very day. I don't know what there is to gain for this mom to tattletale, maybe to gain favor? You really have to be secretive about even checking out other gyms.

 

[Aussie_coach]

For perspective. You go imagine doing this to us after 5 years. They go,
imagine doing this to us after 5 years.

Yes, the truth is that a lot of the time, both for coaches and gym owners. When a gymnast goes elsewhere, especially one we have had for a while. It hurts.

How do people usually react when they feel hurt? Get defensive, pretend they don’t care, is common.

Not the way I’d deal with the situation. My choice would be to make sure their last most at my gym was so amazing that after a month at the new gym, they may consider coming back.

Kids who left, tried another gym, realised they like it better here and come back are one of your best selling points. In the waiting room, parents chat and they tell other parents it’s better here.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

A lot of gyms do this if they hear you've been trying out other gyms, and it's really scummy imo.

They literally told the gym they weren’t coming back.

 

[bookworm]

This happened at my DD’s gym. A very talented younger sister left to train at an elite gym but the older sister wanted to stay. Gym said no. Next thing, 6 walked out the door to a gym down the road. Little sister trained at the elite gym 45 min away while the gym lost an entire cohort to an another gym 7 min away.

Good for the other gym!

 

[JessSyd]

My daughter’s gym loses a lot of girls to other gyms when they go to high school. It’s not personal - the gym is in a public transport dead zone, and the high schools we lose them to are private girls schools with well equipped gymnastic clubs of their own. The girls don’t want to leave, but it’s insane for parents to spend the afternoon rushing across town when their kids are literally located onsite with a gym.

So what happens is my daughter’s gym brings these gymnasts from littlies right up to (usually) optional level with the sort of technique that gets many of them onto podiums every time. And just when they are at the point where state selection becomes a thing (level 7-8) they head off to another gym, get selected, and that gym claims the credit. It is intensely frustrating for our head coach, but it’s also very Sydney and we aren’t the only gym with this issue.

All we can do is see it coming, take it on the chin, and make the transitions gentle and friendly for the girls (who are always sad about it). The girls love this gym and their team and they tend to train with us until literally the day before school starts. It’s always hugs and happy reunions when we bump into them at competitions - because sure, our girls belong to ‘them’ now, but not so deep down they’re also always ours! Sometimes they even come back and visit.

My daughter has been at a gym where when someone leaves it is like they died. They don’t get mentioned or if they do it is in hushed voices away from the coaches. It’s so toxic, and it makes the girls feel insecure - as though any sort of rapport they have with the coach and the team isn’t actually real and can be easily discarded.

 

[SupportingHerDreams]

I hear a lot of gym owners and staff explaining these actions. I do understand that an athlete leaving coaches that they have been with for years is tough on everyone but I don't understand why gymnastics coaches seem to get a pass at unprofessionalism. My sister does childcare and gets very attached to the children that she works with but if a family starts to wonder if there may be a better option for them then my sister chooses to continue to act professionally to the family. Many small businesses deal with this same issue in a professional way.

I think parents and gym staff need to quit being so tolerant of this behavior and start speaking out on how unprofessional it is!