Good points right there!I understand what you are saying however lots of children have goals and aspirations they would like to achieve however that doesn't mean it's either physically and/or mentally possible. For example, a child in recreational gymnastics might have a goal to go to the olympics or be able to do a double back Salto but just because they want to doesn't mean they can do it. Personally I would let them do what they are comfortable doing and focus on your 8 other gymnasts for getting new skills etc. I'm not saying disregard these 2 gymnasts, I'm just saying I really wouldn't get stressed out about
I've now actually tried the suggested technique. I tell the whole group the reasonable assignements and point out that they have to be active asking for help or any adjustments if needed. I give pointers and corrections, but mostly just praise if they do well. If they don't work on something that I have asked for, I'll remind the whole group once saying "please remember to askhelp if you can't do something without spot. It's your responsibility to take a charge and make sure that you get the help that you need". If they still keep avoiding their tasks, I'll just ignore it. If they do ask for help and then don't do what they were supposed to be doing, I will say: "no worries, let's try again". If they refuse saying they are too scared, I'll just happily say "ok, if you are not ready, fine, come and get me when you are ready and I'll help you".
For one of them this has worked great! This has actually been a really good week for her. She even did her RO-BHS-BT on floor _without_ the mat, and I don't even remember the last time she did it! I spotted her, but still. On beam she has worked on her BHS with good attitude, making a little bit of progress. She voluntarily gave up using the beam bad and did the BHS on the medium beam with mats under, and she was removing them one by one. Very slowly, but I liked her work ethic and she seemed determined.
And the other kid... On bars she actually hit her feet on the low bar in the giant for the first time. A lot of tears and a little bit drama, but I stayed calm, I said "good job doing the right thing after hitting the feet, you fell just like we had practices! It looked very safe. And now you have experienced the worst case scenario, and like you can see, you are fine. This happens to every gymnast at some point". After icing her foot for a minute or two she actually wiped off her tears and said "it didn't hurt as bad as I thought" and moved on to other thing. At the next practice, she did the giants again, with no problem! That was huge progress for her, because she has long history of _not_ recovering well from "traumatic" accidents. I praised her attitude and bravery a lot!!
But the other events... They've been a mess. I can see that she hates my new way of coaching, when I don't give her tons of attention when she starts to act up. Now I can actually see how much I've spent time trying to over talk her to try something while she just keeps refusing to even try. Now I give her options - she can choose to try, or if she doesn't want to, she can work on stuff she already can do. I always ask her to come and get me if she makes up her mind.
On vault she actually came to me after at first refusing to try her FHS that she was "scared of". I just said she can do straight jumps instead and work on drills. After a few turns, she asked me to "stand there" and wanted to attempt the vault. And surprisingly she did it. After that she said: "It wasn't as scary as I remembered. Actually I'm pretty sure that I was just overreacting at first"
No success on beam and floor yet. Especially the beam is so hard... Today she was trying to do her leap on beam, a simple leap, but opened her legs very very little, even less than usually. And she can do beautiful 180 degree leaps on floor beam. I asked if she was done with her leap assignement (knowing very well that she did as tiny leaps as she possibly could) and she said: "kind of. I'm so scared to do big leaps". I just said: "well, sometimes it's scary to do hard things, and beam is definitely scary for a lot of people, but you are the only one in charge of yourself, and you are the one who has to want to try harder if you want to improve your leaps. You just have to work your way up to her high beam". Then I just let her be. She wasn't happy about that answer, but I pretended I didn't see that.