For Parents Hanging up the grips, but not the Tiger Paws

[msl529]

Just wanted to let you know that I pulled dd from artistic girls' team. I know, crazy mom, right?

They actually started the new team earlier this week. DD had decided to go back & give it a try. Practice went fine, the new coach is awesome, the girls that came w/ her are nice. DD had a decent practice, picked back up on a new skill she was learning and had left-off on two months ago, but lost a skill on another apparatus. She's been off for two months, so it's to be expected.

Well, she came home crying, moody, broody and sulky. All upset over the one bad thing that happened at practice, and did not allow herself to enjoy or relish in ANY of the good that went on there that day. She was right back where she left off 2 months ago, fussing over all the negative, not enjoyinig the positive, complaining & all.

If she truly wanted, in her heart, to be back in the gym, she would have been at least a little pumped about being back at it, w/ maybe some concern over the one skill, and maybe even some fight and determination to get it back. But she immediately started talking about possibly not continuing w/ it, after all.

After discussing it w/ her, she basically wanted me to make the decision for her. She said if I wanted her to, she'd stick w/ it. She couldn't make up her own mind. That told me I needed to step-in. When I told her I might make her stop, she was fine w/ it. That also told me she was not so eager about continuing w/ it.

So I thought about it. It seemed to me that her reasons for wanting to go back and try it were more about her IDENTITY as a gymnast ("it's all I know, I wouldn't know what to call myself if I quit"), than her LOVE of the sport. She was really going to go back more b/c she was AFRAID to QUIT, rather than pure & simple LOVE for the sport.

So, I called the gym and told them she would not be joining the girl's team. When I informed dd of this, she didn't even bat an eyelash, and has been fine since. And I told her this decison is final for a year.

She DOES, however, want to give the Tramp & Tumble Team a try. She's already been taking tumbling w/ the T&T coach, and adores him. I think it would be something fun for her to do, and will help her thru the transition out of artistic. She can still be in the gym, it's still a USAG sport, and it has none of the negative 'baggage' that she has collected over the years w/ artistic (mainly all the angst she has had over the years, w/ bars, beam & vault). A fresh start, so to speak.

Thanks for the support and good advice. You all have great ideas and good perspective. And you are all champs for reading my continual 'rants' thru this saga! I love y'all!

 

[gymjourneymom]

I think you handled this situation wonderfully!!! You've given everything a lot of thought, let her have in put, but stepped in (as a parent should do) to help guide her when she needed it!!! You are a GREAT mom!!!! I think this sounds like a wonderful new adventure for your DD!!! Something she can be happy about & not stressed all the time!!! Good luck to DD & you as you travel down this new exciting road together!!!

 

[bogwoppit]

Soemtimes they just need a parent to be a parent and make the decision. I am 100% certain that she will be fine, she will do other things and move on. You see I am saying this because I am only a few steps behind you.

BBB went back to gym last night for the first time in 3 weeks, the Sport therapist said she could try, she couldn't do much and was miserable. One coach said to her "what are you doing here if you can't do gym!" (NICE, I did send an email off to the head coach about that snide comment) she sat in the lunch room and watched the girls who are going to Provincials having their photos taken for the newspaper. When she came home I could tell she was out of sorts, we had a long chat which involved lots of tears, she want to stop, she wants to do less, she wants to go to IGC and Gymrep, she wants other girls in her group, she wants to do well. AGH!

I could tell she was just totally knocked off kilter by her injury, the comment, not training, not going to provincials and all thoses injuries. I asked her if she wants me to decide, not really she said. I can see this being an ugly few months. She has no gym until next Wednesday and then it s the last course of the year on the 9th. She will have to decided whether she does extended training or not throughb the month of May and June.

I am so glad that you have shared all of your experience with us, it has really helped me look at this in a very rational way. The only tough thing here is that it is a very small town and we just do not have many other things to try. The school has a swim team, but with her asthma and the chlorine it would not be the best for her.

I can totally see how they identify themselves as a gymnast and that it must be so hard for them to let go and just be. It is great that she has found the tramp and tumble, it is a lot of fun without the rigdity of WAG.

Keep us posted, I still need to live vicariously through you!

 

[msl529]

Thank you for your support, Bog. I am just sorry to hear what your dd is going through. It's so wierd how the possibility of leaving this sport stirs up such emotion and angst. I can't imagine it happens quite like this w/ other sports, lol!

Hang in there w/ your dd. I really feel for you, as you said, it may be a rough couple or months! All I can say is, strap yourself in, it's going to be a wild ride!

But seriously, I'll be thinking of you. Someone who has some really good advice & perspective on this, is 'livinatthegym'. She was really helpful to me w/ this. As was everyone else on CB, I might add!

What about your dd coaching the little ones at the gym? Do you guys have rec, and would she like that? My dd has talked about that, they have asked ger about it at the gym, and she really wants to do it over the Summer.

Too bad about the chlorine-asthma prob. We had a friend w/ a similar problem and she had to quit swim team for the same reason. Now they have a salt water pool at their house, which she does fine with. But you don't find those at city pools, unfortunately.

 

[flippersmom]

It sounds like your DD knew what she needed to do, but maybe needed to make sure it was Okay with you. I'm glad that the decision was made together. It sounds like you are both ready for changes.

I'm glad that you share your stories. Although my DD still loves gym, I think there will come a time when it is no longer as much fun as it is now for her. I guess I will now know the signs to look for and how hard it will be for her. I am glad that she found something quickly that will keep her busy and happy.

Good luck with your DD Bog. I hope she is able to reach a decision that will bring her happiness. I know you mentioned your DDs will be at IGC around July 4th I think? Are they going the week before the 4th, or starting on the 5th? My dd will be there from June 28-July 4th.

Keep us updated MSL!! Let us know how her transition goes.

 

[bogwoppit]

I know you mentioned your DDs will be at IGC around July 4th I think? Are they going the week before the 4th, or starting on the 5th? My dd will be there from June 28-July 4th.

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They will be there the week beginning the 5th, shame they are missing the Shawn week, but we had other commitments.

 

[gym law mom]

MSL, sounds like she was really ready to move on and I think deep down you knew it too. Great idea to let her give it 1 last try and it certainly sounds like this is not what she wants/needs to do right now. I think its great that she wants to do T & T and start some new fun things with them.

Great call mom---she needed your help and you were there.

Bog--Hope things start looking up for BBB. You are right, it may take her a few months to finally settle on what she wants. I think the bottle of wine is being passed around right now.

 

[nettyinpa]

Well, it sounds like the right decision was made. It is a difficult one but she didn't seem too upset about it. My dd would pitch a fit if we told her she had to quit. This week, anyway! Who knows what the future will bring but it sounds like your dd at least is willing to stay active and continue with the tumbling part of it. Maybe some day she'll change her mind and want to go back to the team?? If so, she'll still be in good shape via the T&T.

Good for you, too, for being such a great parent and helping her make the right decision. I'm sure everything will work out for the best. Good luck!

 

[MdGymMom01]

It sounds like a perfect solution! Think of it as not quitting gym, but expanding her skill set within a subgroup of gymnastics (T & T). She is now what they call "a specialized" gymnast LOL. Sounds like she will have a blast and yes, sometimes us parents have to step in and make these decisions for them. You and her must have an awesome relationship because she still needs and respects your input and opinion on what is best for her!!! Good job mom!!

Keep us posted!!!!

 

[momofagymmie]

That was really well done! My brain hurt just sorting through all the feelings she and you must've had trying to sort it all out. Good Luck to her in T&T. You get the mom of the year award!

 

[Jamarie]

Good luck with the tumbling & trampoline. I'm sure she will love it, I know my daughter does. I can't wait to see videos!

 

[Granny Smith]

A very well thought out decision made on your part and I do believe it was the correct one based on dd's reaction.

Good luck with future endeavors, hope she takes to the T & T.

 

[mariposa]

I think that both of you put a lot of thought into the decision and that both of you together made the right decision. I hope she LOVES T & T. I love the "specialist" take on it. Especially since your DD has struggled with beam, bars and vault, she will get to do what she loves and still compete! Good luck to her.

 

[msl529]

Thanks to everyone, so much, for your positive feedback. It is really easy to doubt those 'mother' choices sometimes!

DD is just fine w/ everything, but we will see how things progress, lol. She knows there's no going back to WAG for at least a year, so I think she's resigned to moving on.

I talked to the T&T coach today, and he says he'd love to have her, & thinks she's really going to like it a lot. He's been coaching T&T a number of years, and also coaches WAG, but says T&T is more fun, in his opinion. He also said all of the kids he's had over the years that changed from artistic to T&T loved it and never looked back. If she chooses to do it, it's two days a week for 3 hrs each., comp season starts in Jan., & it will cost about $150 less per month than the gym's current WAG program. That's all good stuff if you ask me!

We will let her try a week of practices & then have her decide. So I'll let you know how next week goes! That is, of course, if the gym remains open--we have several entire school districts around us closed for the next week or so...but that's another subject! (Which I've already posted on in the 'off topic' forum, lol---can't keep my mouth shut around here!)

 

[gym mom]

What a great mom you are ,I hope I can handle it has well has you when my dd wants to move on.T & T sounds like a lot of fun she should have a blast!