Parents Having a moment

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littlegirlsdream

Proud Parent
There is many a time I question my daughters involvement in this sport. Sometimes, as a parent, it feels like the physical toll and emotional and mental stress is far from worth it. My dd feels differently about it though so here we are 6 years later still plugging along. Despite pain and injury, despite tears and frustration, despite sacrificing. We do this knowing she won't ever be an elite, Olympic or national gymnast. She is not the kid first on the podium all the time (in fact rarely). We do it because despite everything she loves it...even if we (the parents) don't. I just hope at the end of this journey she has learned that her tenacity, strength of character and ability to over come fears far out weighs the challenges set before her and that hard work and perseverance matter.

There are days and weeks that feel like defeat is the only thing she is learning
 
Not defeat, but how to cope with adversity and come out smiling on the other side. As someone once said, it's not the number of times you fall, but the way in which you get up which counts - if she can learn to get up and keep going now, she will be so much better set up to cope with life's challenges than kids who have never known and overcome defeat.
 
Aw, I'm sorry you are having a tough time. It is so hard to watch our kids struggle, isn't it? Despite all of what you mentioned I still think gymnastics is worth it. So glad your dd loves it.
 
As we continue to wrestle with beam acro issues over here, I keep reminding myself to continue smiling and telling myself that all of this is building character, strength, a positive outlook, and perseverance. Now, I would have figured that, at my age, I was already well supplied with these things . . .

All good thoughts for your DD. When she's grown, she'll remember the good times.
 
I am having one of those moments too. This spring we almost switched gyms but made a last-minute decision to stay so our daughter could stay with a particular coach in a particular group that we thought would be the best fit for her at this time out of the available options. Fast-forward 6 months, and the coach has started missing practice on a regular basis, half of the group (which was supposed to stay together all year training to compete L4 next season) has been moved up to compete L3, and my daughter still loves gymnastics but often bursts into tears in the car after practice because she feels like she's not getting anywhere. I have had to change my work schedule to accommodate gymnastics, my daughter had to give up ballet, and for what exactly? We let her continue for the same reasons you let your daughter do gymnastics--because she loves it and it builds character and fitness. But just like you, sometimes I feel as if all she is learning is defeat.
 
Hang in there! She is learning valuable life lessons! And on the upside, when she does overcome a fear or learn a new skill that has taken longer to achieve, the pride that comes from that is priceless!
 
As someone else said--she's learning how to overcome adversity and keep working at something despite not having instant results. This will help her tremendously later in life. If I had it to do over, I'd still put my girls in gymnastics and support their goal of team--but I almost certainly would go to a different gym than the one we stuck with!
 
As a family that recently left the sport, try to enjoy the positive aspects of your gymnastics ride because it will be over before you know it. I remember the times when it all seemed so overwhelming with the driving, volunteering, drying tears, money, drama, etc. But, looking back, I wouldn't trade any of it because my DD learned so many valuable lessons. She is now a strong, independent young woman who knows how to work hard for what she wants, doesn't make excuses and has a drive to overcome challenges that I just don't see in other kids. I give a lot of credit for her work ethic to this crazy sport. In her 12 years in the sport, she saw and overcame things that many adults have never faced.

My DD was very rarely on top of the podium. She was always behind her friends and teammates and often got left behind in move ups and got skills at a much slower rate than others. So, I understand what you mean about feeling defeated. However, sometimes the strongest kids are born out of this type of adversity. She never gave up and lasted in the sport way longer than most of the kids with all the talent in the world. The lessons your DD is learning right now will help her set the course for the rest of her life. And chances are she will be amazingly successful because of her gymnastics foundation. Good luck!
 
There is many a time I question my daughters involvement in this sport. Sometimes, as a parent, it feels like the physical toll and emotional and mental stress is far from worth it. My dd feels differently about it though so here we are 6 years later still plugging along. Despite pain and injury, despite tears and frustration, despite sacrificing. We do this knowing she won't ever be an elite, Olympic or national gymnast. She is not the kid first on the podium all the time (in fact rarely). We do it because despite everything she loves it...even if we (the parents) don't. I just hope at the end of this journey she has learned that her tenacity, strength of character and ability to over come fears far out weighs the challenges set before her and that hard work and perseverance matter.

There are days and weeks that feel like defeat is the only thing she is learning
Hi littlegirlsdream, just wondering how many hours a week your DD trains?
 
There is many a time I question my daughters involvement in this sport. Sometimes, as a parent, it feels like the physical toll and emotional and mental stress is far from worth it. My dd feels differently about it though so here we are 6 years later still plugging along. Despite pain and injury, despite tears and frustration, despite sacrificing. We do this knowing she won't ever be an elite, Olympic or national gymnast. She is not the kid first on the podium all the time (in fact rarely). We do it because despite everything she loves it...even if we (the parents) don't. I just hope at the end of this journey she has learned that her tenacity, strength of character and ability to over come fears far out weighs the challenges set before her and that hard work and perseverance matter.

There are days and weeks that feel like defeat is the only thing she is learning
Hi littlegirlsdream, just wondering how many hours a week your DD trains?
 
I hear you. I struggle with knowing what else we could be doing if not for gym; international travel, long vacations, high school dances, etc. I feel my kids sacrifice a lot that they don't even realize they are sacrificing. In addition to the struggles and injuries. But I have a mantra - they love it. They love it. They chose it. It is not MY thing, it is THEIR thing, and I love them, so will continue to support them in every way I can. And try to keep my reactions/feelings/anxieties separate from theirs. I like all the positive things previous posters have said, and in my heart I know those things are true. But sometimes it is hard.
 
I have felt like this often. My dd has struggled with fear. Her first year as a old L5 i think she placed close to last every meet. Her second year was better. There were a lot of tears. I never understood why she kept doing it. I wAs proud of her that she continued. We moved to xcel last year. Not having to have her bwo on beam, took off the pressure. She had a great season last year. And is gaining big skills on all the other events.
 
Hi littlegirlsdream, from our time in this crazy sport, I believe as long as the gymie loves it and the defeat is not felt overwhelmingly by them it's ok. If your Dd is feeling defeated but still loves the sport I would get her to focus on 4 positive things that happen each session. Best of luck
 
Hi littlegirlsdream, from our time in this crazy sport, I believe as long as the gymie loves it and the defeat is not felt overwhelmingly by them it's ok. If your Dd is feeling defeated but still loves the sport I would get her to focus on 4 positive things that happen each session. Best of luck

The "tell me a few good things that happened at practice" has been a great strategy for me and DD as well. It can help to refocus or close out a conversation about things that didn't go well and maybe make her feel a little better about the session overall.
 

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