Parents Help me to be a relaxed parent

[trampolinemom]

With nationals coming sunday my trampolining DS is suffering from a mental block on his first skill of his voluntary routine, a rudi out piked (a double somersault, in piked position with 1,5 twists in the second somersault) In fact he has mild blocks on nearly all his double somersaults, but this one is worse. He says he simply doesn't know how to throw this skill anymore. He is 10 years old and competing his first year at FIG youth elite level . It took him 3 years to reach this level, which is pretty quick. Normally he is competing a five double and five single somersault routine. He has done this routine for about six monthis now and competed it succesfully a couple of times.

But now things are different. He stops, doesn't start, gets upset. Coach tried different aproaches, some work better than others. He manages to jump a couple of routines per training when pushed through the other part of training is drama. He now is scared of the upcoming nationals that he won't be able to do his routine. So far I think his coach does not allow him to downgrade his routine . So I am playing my everything is going to be allright , it is not the end of the world but just another competition part. But in reality I am quite nervous for him and not as relaxed as I want to be.

So please tell me this will pass.

 

[MuggleMom]

No thoughts of wisdom just sending good vibes your way! I can only say try not just to show your calm try to be calm I feel like my kids can totally pick up when I am faking my calmness.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Deep breathing. Fake until you make it. Hugs......

 

[wallinbl]

Is he growing? That might be all it is.

 

[trampolinemom]

Is he growing? That might be all it is.

Yes indeed like mad, He has grown out of everything and I just had to buy him a new pair of sneakers, the old ones just being 6 months old..

 

[Flyaway]

Deep breathing. Fake until you make it. Hugs......

Yes. Lots of hugs. In the end, regardless of outcome, just love on your boy. It will be OK. Wishing him the best!

 

[Mrs. Puma]

Good vibes headed your way!!! I'm in the fake it til you make it camp. You got this!!!

 

[e'smum]

cocktails???
i hope your son figures it out soon. and i agree, fake it until....

 

[jenjean70]

Sounds like you are doing the right thing. The pressure of nationals is making it worse for him but you just pointing out it's just another competition is the right way to go. He's only ten and he's doing amazing things! He and the coach will figure it out.

 

[skschlag]

Having faked it for 9 years now, I say you can do it. Just be there to listen, or to distract, whatever he needs. Before D went to nationals, we completely quit talking about it at all at home, unless he brought it up. He says that helped. Otherwise, I just try to hide my nerves....pretend to eat, smile, etc. I still get very nervous for D after 9 years....and I have figured out there is nothing I can do about it. I will be nervous, no matter what

Good luck to him! I cannot wait to hear how it goes. He is doing so well for such a young kiddo! Good luck to him!

 

[Sasha]

Growing fast changes everything! He is super young, and he will get through this. Is this his first time dealing with blocks? 10-12 is a common age with boys to struggle with first real blocks, often due to growing, and the mental maturity that makes them feel 'danger' more than they did when they were wee little daredevils. Does he understand that growth can mean having to 'relearn' some skills and, though some kids are lucky and avoid major blocks, this is very, very common and a normal thing to work through? Both my gymmies have 'lost' skills due to growth spurts, and regained them by stepping back to drills and re-learning the timing. Staying calm, assuring them it is normal, and explaining the logic about growth and center of gravity and such helped them calm their initial freak-outs...

As for you, some may disagree with this, but this helps me before a meet (I'm a super nervous spectator)... I visualize... I (secretly in my own mind) envision my child having an absolutely awful performance day (other than injury - definitely not imagining that!!), and how I am going to react if that happens. I visualize holding the camera while he falls off the pommel, and still loving him, and feeling proud. I visualize myself smiling and giving him a wink and a little shrug so he knows "it's ok". I visualize us going for lunch or ice cream after, and talking about Pokemon (not gym!). I visualize a future, 3 days ahead when he's not sulking and is back to his happy self. I visualize my love for his spirit. I visualize the weeks and months and years ahead that he will train, compete, and how whether or not he hits his pommel routine on this day in 2017 will not make or break him as an athlete, or a person.

Now if my kid makes the Olympics or something, then I will have to be sedated. But until then, I'm going with the above as best I can. Hugs! It's hard!! As said by others, Love on your boy. He's amazing in more ways than just his rad tramp skills

 

[trampolinemom]

Thank ypu Sasha for your amazing reply. I love the visualisation for parents thing. Will definitely try that. It is the fist time a block is so hard it touches skills he has had for a long time.

 

[profmom]

Also figure there's no cloud without a silver lining. Imagine him going to this meet and having All The Bad Things Happen. Sure, it will be tough and he will feel terrible afterward, but he will learn that it's ok to have a bad meet, even if it's a big meet. He'll survive, he'll get past it, and his system will eventually catch up with all the growing he's been doing. He'll learn from this and be stronger because of it, and it truly is a gift to have it happen for the first time at his age than when he's significantly older and the stakes are significantly higher.

 

[trampolinemom]

Aargh with one training to go tonorrow it is getting worse. He now has trouble with everything and does not do any routine basically. Coach says he'll try the No pressure at all aproach. Like not pay any attention and just compliment the good things aproach tomorrow. See how that works out.

 

[Sasha]

Aargh with one training to go tonorrow it is getting worse. He now has trouble with everything and does not do any routine basically. Coach says he'll try the No pressure at all aproach. Like not pay any attention and just compliment the good things approach tomorrow. See how that works out.

I'm so sorry. It is very tough - for your son of course, for the coach, and most certainly for you to watch him go through. This is a tough sport mentally and physically, and you are raising a tough kid! He will prevail - not necessarily at this next meet, but he will come through this stronger, as we all do after those times when nothing seems to be going right. In these challenges, he will learn through failure, possibly some heartbreak, how to push forward when he feels lost. Eyes on the broader view as he is a young man forging his identity.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I really feel for you. Went through this with my YDD on a much smaller scale- she's only L7. She switched gyms, found out we were moving, grew 4 inches, and pushed herself up a level too fast. The perfect storm for massive blocks. She competed once the whole season and is just starting to come out of it, but we leave in a week. It was so hard to see her pushing herself so hard and getting nowhere- she couldn't do ANYTHING for awhile. I had to distance myself for both of us. She still tries to talk to me about it but I won't even get into the conversations- I keep trying to skillfully change the subject every time it comes up. I have no help (I literally had to take my anxiety meds for meets a few times), but I just want to give you a virtual hug. He's amazing, your son, and he will come through eventually. This meet will come and go either way, and he'll keep trucking.

 

[trampolinemom]

I really feel for you. Went through this with my YDD on a much smaller scale- she's only L7. She switched gyms, found out we were moving, grew 4 inches, and pushed herself up a level too fast. The perfect storm for massive blocks. She competed once the whole season and is just starting to come out of it, but we leave in a week. It was so hard to see her pushing herself so hard and getting nowhere- she couldn't do ANYTHING for awhile. I had to distance myself for both of us. She still tries to talk to me about it but I won't even get into the conversations- I keep trying to skillfully change the subject every time it comes up. I have no help (I literally had to take my anxiety meds for meets a few times), but I just want to give you a virtual hug. He's amazing, your son, and he will come through eventually. This meet will come and go either way, and he'll keep trucking.

How is she doing now MILgymFAM? I don't think the level makes any difference, fast progress maybe. Hugs for you too.

 

[trampolinemom]

My new motto hahaha and the cocktails! Definitely cocktails.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

My new motto hahaha and the cocktails! Definitely cocktails.

Exactly

 

[MILgymFAM]

How is she doing now MILgymFAM? I don't think the level makes any difference, fast progress maybe. Hugs for you too.

She's a mess, honestly. She was better- got all her missing skills back for a few weeks.. then my ODD went to Italy and the movers showed up and BAM- back to totally blocked. I honestly feel awful for her.