Parents Help Needed - Reality Check on Switching Gyms

[JennyJones]

New here, looks like a great forum.

My daughter is 8 years old, just finished the level 5 competition season on her team (she won a few meets on floor) and is now ready for level 6. We are not doing the state meet due to a conflict and frankly my daughter was relieved). But I do feel bad for missing it since it's the grand finale of the season. Her gym is very intensive for her age and level (about 15 hrs./week - all week nights) and some nights go well after 8pm. She's not getting enough sleep and wants more time off to play and needs more time to get school work done. The new season may even add more hours.

We recently told the gym that we're taking a month off to evaluate what we want to do. They want us to pay the whole month, so I said I would need to quit the team. I said if they need to fill our place with another gymnast that's fine and I was honest that we may need to change to a gym with earlier release times so my daughter isn't sleep deprived. I also told them we need another week day off.

There is a smaller gym in the area where they practice from 4-7:00pm three week nights and one Saturday practice. The problem is that they only have one other child in level 5 which will probably go to level 6. There are about 4 kids in level 6 who may go to level 7. Their level 5's and 6's practice together.

I'm sure she'll get more one on one coaching (her group at the current gym has 25 kids!), but how important is the team comaraderie? Was I wrong to take the whole month off...I've been getting phone calls from the owner, coaches...ughhh...major guilt trip but frankly my daughter has been very happy now that the pressure is off.

Now is a good time to make a change as we will have to pay new registration fees, buy new leos anyway at her current gym in January.

Anyone have words of wisdom?

 

[MaryA]

I do think that getting enough sleep should be a non-negotiable for kids. If she's sleep deprived, it will affect how she does in school, how she interacts with others, and how safe she is in the gym. I'd say go try the other gym and see how your daughter feels about it. If the 5's and 6's practice together, she should have a reasonably-sized group to practice with. It doesn't matter so much at the meets, since sometimes they're split by age anyway, so even if you have 10 people at your level, you may only compete with a couple of them at any given meet.

As for taking a month off, it may take her a while to make up for "lost" time, but if you're between competition seasons, I can't imagine it will make too big of a difference in the long run. And, if the other team will let her come in and try some workouts with their 5/6 kids, this is certainly a good time to do it.

Good luck with your decision! My DD switched teams this fall so I know it can be a gut-wrenching choice!

 

[gym monkeys mom]

I think you need to hear what your DD is saying you are the best judge of what she can handle not the coaches. If she is unhappy now this will only be wrose as she moves up the levels and may burn her out.

There are many types of gym and programs and one is not better than the others. Rather some programs are a better fit for some gymnasts and families than others. Otheres will say that programs with more team kids and better scores are the "best" clubs...I believe this is only realtive to what you are looking for. So what does your DD want to do?? Compette and still have a social life outside the gym?? if so find her a gym that fits her needs.



My Dd has always been at a small gym with only about 25-30 gymnasts we do still have team bonding a good freindships it is just different than in the huge gyms. We also have kids on team who other gyms would never take and it makes for great diversity on team.

I would say listen to youor DD and go from there she knows what she wants it sounds like.

Good luck...

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

my DD's gym is very small. there are only 4 L5's this year 2 L7's (there are actually 2 more L7/8 but thry chose to only compete HS meets this year) on eL9 and about 10 L3.

all of our girls work out together. They warm up together, stretch together & the split up for rotations. they come back together to condition @ the end of practice.

my DD really enjoys the small team & all the girlsre pretty close. This is the only gym we have been too & I cannot imagine being at a gym where tvere are 25 L5's. I know it works for many & I am not saying it is bad.

oue L5 & up go 12 hours a week& they do well @ meets. It sounds like your DD may do better @ a less intense gym. no harm in trying.

I would not be happy if I was being hounded about making what I feel are the best choices for my childs health & well being.

 

[mtbmom]

New here, looks like a great forum.

Welcome!

There is a smaller gym in the area where they practice from 4-7:00pm three week nights and one Saturday practice. The problem is that they only have one other child in level 5 which will probably go to level 6. There are about 4 kids in level 6 who may go to level 7. Their level 5's and 6's practice together.

I don't see this as a problem at all. My daughter was at a very large gym and was lost in the shuffle. Very little actual coaching for her (not a young superstar by their standards) lots of down time with so many kids to coach. She is at a small gym now and loves it. At the other gym she barely knew the big girls. She warms up with the3's, 6's, 9's, 10's, Elites every Thursday and enjoys getting to know them. On her other practice days she is with the 5's, 6's, 7's; Their are much better team relationships here than at the large anonymous gym. I would go with what hours work best for your daughter. Also, perhaps have her do another year of 5 so she can keep her hours down next year? Just a thought, I have no idea where your daughter is skill wise.

Just listen to your DD and your mama instinct as others have said.

 

[sportzmomov3]

Your DD is only 8 yo. You are the mom.
You sense that she isn't happy with the current gym situation.
You have options.
She's just competed level 5 and the road ahead should you stay on this path, is long and arduous with no crystal ball to tell you where she'll end up.
And that doesn't matter anyway.
Use your parental instincts and make a choice as a mom.
Do not worry about whether the gym is great and can get your DD to level x.
Worry about whether your DD will continue to enjoy this activity (and get more sleep).
It's clear that at this point in time your DD does not want to make gym her only life away from school & home.
Follow her lead and find an environment that works for her personality.
Trust me when I say, all the rest will fall into place in due time.
Just because you start a sport, doesn't mean you have to aspire to the highest levels available, and in this sport in particular, there is NO rush, despite what some may tell you. Slow and steady wins every time.

Of all the posts I've read about switching gyms, this is the only one where I would say, thank goodnes, it's clear, no controversy here, find a place that has a better schedule so your DD can get to bed earlier and be well-rested for her days.

Good luck and welcome to CB!

 

[AlwaysCuriousMom]

Seems like your DD, aside from the scheduling issues was doing well with skills. There is no mention of anything else you and DD are unhappy about, besides the long hours. If her old gym is calling you (which I don't think is weird, given that after a period of time, the HC/owners do become very attached to the gymnasts - maybe they genuinely care...) perhaps they are willing to arrange shorter hours? If heard of lots of gymnasts who are allowed to cut practice early for various reasons.

My DD is the same level/age as yours. She went through periods of time when the scheduling was not manageable, but I never felt uncomfortable working something out with her gym. They understood that she was younger than the others. I also found that her ability to manage these hours were seasonal! So, please think of that option.

Pls know that I'm not making light of your DD wanting more time. But at the same time, it is always difficult for children to move gyms. There are many reasons for gymnasts to switch gyms... but scheduling alone seems like something that can be worked out. Good Luck!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

you didn't say that you brought the 'sleep' problem to the attention of the head coach/owner. work the schedule out with the owner/head coach. "you can't always get what you want"....the gym bills still must be paid. an early and unexpected departure, and especially during the season that has already begun disrupts gym finances. you may be a customer that feels that this is not your problem but the gym must go on.

and welcome to CB.

 

[flippin out]

Seems like your DD, aside from the scheduling issues was doing well with skills. There is no mention of anything else you and DD are unhappy about, besides the long hours. If her old gym is calling you (which I don't think is weird, given that after a period of time, the HC/owners do become very attached to the gymnasts - maybe they genuinely care...) perhaps they are willing to arrange shorter hours? If heard of lots of gymnasts who are allowed to cut practice early for various reasons.

My DD is the same level/age as yours. She went through periods of time when the scheduling was not manageable, but I never felt uncomfortable working something out with her gym. They understood that she was younger than the others. I also found that her ability to manage these hours were seasonal! So, please think of that option.

Pls know that I'm not making light of your DD wanting more time. But at the same time, it is always difficult for children to move gyms. There are many reasons for gymnasts to switch gyms... but scheduling alone seems like something that can be worked out. Good Luck!

I agree. It sounds like your only issue with her gym is the hours. I would try to talk with them about modified hours. I'm curious though - you posted above that her level has 25 kids. I don't see a problem with that IF they are either being broken down into smaller practice groups OR there are enough coaches and equipment to handle that number. Are they being broken up into smaller groups? or do they have several coaches with that group and enough equipment that this works well? If not, I would see that as another issue worth looking at.

 

[mamaoftwo]

If all else is going well with that gym, I'd hear them out, too. A good gym that is a good fit (otherwise) is hard to find. At least then you'd have peace of mind that you made the right choice to leave.

If they are not willing to compromise, then I'd leave. My DD's sleep and well-being are far more important than any ol' team. Good luck with your decision. And, welcome!

 

[emorymom]

Another avenue to explore is what is your school doing that she has all this homework at 8yo? Does she really need that homework to progress satisfactorily, or will they give her a waiver as long as her test scores stay high? Do you have a different, good schooling option available with a later start time? Are there any schools for athletes / actors / etc. in your area or have you looked at part or full time home study? I'm not saying this is the right gym for you, but perhaps there can be give on both ends.

 

[JennyJones]

More information regarding original post

Thanks for all your support and advice,

more information:

We do like the gym, but the owner is not a coach and is overextended financially (just bought the gym and upgraded equipment, hired lots of coaches, etc.)

The level 5 team has 25 kid in 3 groups, overall good training.

Because the owner is overextended, she keeps raising rates and I believe that's why there's so many hours required...more hours - more billable time.

I do believe she might compromise on hours, but I want to be done by 7:00 and have another day off during the week. considering she has soooo many kids to accomodate, I doubt she can really work a schedule around what we want, and I'm sure we'd have to pay for hours we don't use (if we took another day off for instance since they don't practice Saturdays)

I don't expect her to run the gym around our specific needs, so that's one motivating factor to just switch gyms.

 

[NGL780309]

I really doubt the owner is making money off of having the level 5 girls go 15 hours. Team doesn't charge much per hour if you break down the cost. We pay much less than rec for the resources we are using. Team doesn't generally make money for gyms.

15 hours doesn't sound like a lot of hours at all for level 5. That would be on the normal to lower end for our area. Most go closer to 17-20. DD is a level 5 and she does about 16 and we do less than a lot of gyms in our area. The gym we left does 5 days a week, 4 hours each day.

You need to do what's best for your child, but being a team gymnast generally means being at the gym till after 8pm and paying year round tuition even if you aren't at every practice or decide to take a month off. That's not an unusual practice at all. We must give a 30 days notice.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Thanks for all your support and advice,

more information:

We do like the gym, but the owner is not a coach and is overextended financially (just bought the gym and upgraded equipment, hired lots of coaches, etc.)

The level 5 team has 25 kid in 3 groups, overall good training.

Because the owner is overextended, she keeps raising rates and I believe that's why there's so many hours required...more hours - more billable time.

I do believe she might compromise on hours, but I want to be done by 7:00 and have another day off during the week. considering she has soooo many kids to accomodate, I doubt she can really work a schedule around what we want, and I'm sure we'd have to pay for hours we don't use (if we took another day off for instance since they don't practice Saturdays)

I don't expect her to run the gym around our specific needs, so that's one motivating factor to just switch gyms.

1. that's right. she would. but you haven't asked.

2. but you didn't ask. are you being serious?

3. like i said...you can't always get what you want. some of you want the moon and the sky, great coaches, great equipment, clean gym, clean bathrooms, great customer service and all that other stuff....yet you don't want to pay for a couple hours that you won't be there. so then, the gym is probably worth it. and maybe you're not...you will never be satisfied and it will always be about the dollar. some people are not ready for compeitive sports and ALL that go with it. and for that couple of dollars you had not one bad thing to say about the program.

and before any of you skewer me, remember i'm a club owner.

now consider my sig line gasrgoose...

 

[JennyJones]

Dunno, my reply to you

Thanks for your honest feedback...a little brutal, but honest.

I have never complained about anything at this gym...to the owner or coach...I've always paid my bill the first day of the month, never once gave her a headache about anything...we have been very low maintenance (unlike many other parents). I also freely volunteer my time to help with meets, setting up the gym etc.

Your comments confirm why I should switch to another gym...My daughter's need for more sleep and homework time just doesn't fit the current gyms schedule or philosophy. This is why I haven't wanted to ask...I don't want to appear to be one of those overbearing parents who expect the gym to revolve around me.

There is another gym in the area with a perfect schedule for us, it's an easy solution. Their rates are reasonable and you have the option to attend either 3 or 4 days per week through level 6 (and release time is 7:00pm). You only pay for what you attend. Yes, there are compromises, we do like our coach. But, if I don't do something different my daughter will probably quit the sport altogether because she's already complaining about going to practice.
She's a real natural at gymnastics, she will do fine with a few less hours, and frankly she's in it because she likes it, not because she has to win every meet.

Thanks for your comments...it's added clarity.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

sleep and homework are important issues in what we do. just because you ask does not make you an "overbearing" or meddling parent. you're supposed to ask. we don't have a crystal ball. it's your job to be the parent and our job to coach AND attempt to accomodate practice schedules to the best of our ability. if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out.

you have no idea how hard it can be to find a good fit for your daughter in a gym program. i hate to see someone leave a program when they have no complaints to speak of. your concern is homework and sleep. if they can't make that work in their program then you have to look elsewhere. so then, unless i'm missing something, you haven't broached the subject matter with them. call me crazy...

 

[Faith]

I'm with Dunno. At least chat to the coach/ owner and explain your reasons for leaving. You never know, they might be able to accommodate you, or they may be thinking of changing their hours in the future. On the other hand, your new gym may be about to change their schedule!

At least if you talk to them, and can't reach a compromise at the minute, your more likely to leave on good terms and leave doors open. If you just up and leave they'll be wondering what they did wrong and get defensive/resentful.

 

[gym law mom]

I agree with those the recommended at least talking with the owner or HC. You never know until you ask. I agree with NGL in that team hours don't bring in alot of money, so I don't see the increased team hours as a big moneymaker for the gym.

Homework and getting the right amount of sleep are absolutely necessary and its good you set that as a priority over being in the gym. Something else jumped out at me in the original post. It was mentioned dd had taken time off and was not doing states and was fine with that. This raises a red flag to me that something else is going on. The girls work hard to get that state qualifying score, fine tune routines to do well at the meet---it is a big deal. Just wondering why your dd seems ok with missing it?

 

[mtbmom]

you have no idea how hard it can be to find a good fit for your daughter in a gym program. i hate to see someone leave a program when they have no complaints to speak of. your concern is homework and sleep. if they can't make that work in their program then you have to look elsewhere. so then, unless i'm missing something, you haven't broached the subject matter with them. call me crazy...

Yeah, what Dunno said. It really can be very difficult to find a program that fits. Also, it feels overwhelming with school and gym early on. The kids learn how to juggle and manage their time remarkably well. Please talk to the owner. You say you don't have complaints but you describe the owner as "overextended" and no coaching experience. Do you have complaints that you are just not talking about.

We recently told the gym that we're taking a month off to evaluate what we want to do. They want us to pay the whole month, so I said I would need to quit the team. I said if they need to fill our place with another gymnast that's fine and I was honest that we may need to change to a gym with earlier release times so my daughter isn't sleep deprived. I also told them we need another week day off.

Looks like you did tell the "gym" why you may leave. Who is telling the "gym?" Is that the owner, coach, director, secretary? I would think you'd want to begin with coach or program director.

As for them charging you for your month off, that is how team gymnastics works. Even if your kid is injured you pay your team fees. Now, they may work with you for an extended injury, but a month off to figure things out (and probably try other programs) no... they're not going to let you skip your obligation.

I also agree with others, team fees is not where the gym makes profits.

Also, keep in mind a month off at level 5 is very difficult to come back from. Your daughter will lose a lot of strength and may hate gaining it back. It is a lot of WORK!

Good luck...


As for overbearing parents, they will always be... Going to the coaches/owner regarding too many hours for an 8 year old is not overbearing. At least give your gym the courtesy to make things work for you. Unless there really are other things you're really not liking about the program.

Good luck!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I agree with those the recommended at least talking with the owner or HC. You never know until you ask. I agree with NGL in that team hours don't bring in alot of money, so I don't see the increased team hours as a big moneymaker for the gym.

Homework and getting the right amount of sleep are absolutely necessary and its good you set that as a priority over being in the gym. Something else jumped out at me in the original post. It was mentioned dd had taken time off and was not doing states and was fine with that. This raises a red flag to me that something else is going on. The girls work hard to get that state qualifying score, fine tune routines to do well at the meet---it is a big deal. Just wondering why your dd seems ok with missing it?

i did not overlook this either. glad someone else raised the red flag. call me crazy...