Parents How do you best approach a new gym?

[RTT2]

Call? Email? Stop by? And, from posts I've read here I get the sense you're supposed to keep it as quiet as possible while looking around- so do you contact the new gym and not say which gym your child is coming from? Do you wait until meet season is over? I'm definitely still in the exploratory stage, but wondering how to proceed if we decide that is the right plan.

 

[txgymfan]

Short version. Based on years of these threads. Search threads for questions to ask.

Tell no one! No One!

Look online for gyms in your possible travel zone. Consider traffic at possible drive times and siblings tolerance for car rides.

Visit possible gyms to observe, also watch at meets for coaches you admire. Do not tell staff your current gym.

Decide on your top two ( or three, at most)

Immediatly after season. Empty out your child's cubby/locker " for cleaning"

If you are 100 percent sure you are leaving send a generic email thanking old gym and give notice. Be prepared to pay double tuition for one month.

Take her for trials. Accept position on a new team .

 

[Mrs. Puma]

This is a tough one...and you're going to get lots of different answers! I'd say start super on the downlow with some internet stalking. Check out meetscores.com and mymeetscores. This will give you a general idea of how competative they are, how many kids they have in each level, whether they do JO/Xcel/USAIGC, how fast kids move up, what types of scores are common for them, what types of meets they go to. Also check out their webpage and FB page. Sometimes they have schedules on there or accomplishments like TOPS kids/state champions/NCAA recruits. Look at the pictures-sometimes you can see the type of equipment they have or how big the gym is. I'd also think about what's important to you and your family-location? Size? Schedule? How competative? After that I'd see if anyone you know, even friend of a friend, goes there and stalk them on FB ect. It sounds bad, but sometimes you can learn a lot! After that...it's tough. With our switch I made sure we were definitely ready to move and I called the gym I thought was the best fit for a tryout. Then quickly made a decision and made sure I let the owner of the old gym know before he found elsewhere. It's hard! Good luck!!

 

[GymDad9.9]

Short version. Based on years of these threads. Search threads for questions to ask.

Tell no one! No One!

Look online for gyms in your possible travel zone. Consider traffic at possible drive times and siblings tolerance for car rides.

Visit possible gyms to observe, also watch at meets for coaches you admire. Do not tell staff your current gym.

Decide on your top two ( or three, at most)

Immediatly after season. Empty out your child's cubby/locker " for cleaning"

If you are 100 percent sure you are leaving send a generic email thanking old gym and give notice. Be prepared to pay double tuition for one month.

Take her for trials. Accept position on a new team .

This should be put that on a credit card sized piece of paper and laminated for safe keeping in one's wallet or purse...

 

[l.c.o]

Welllll each situation is a little different (why you're considering switching... etc).

Move after season unless there's a serious safety concern. New gyms are also in season and focusing on meets and working towards state.

Start researching clubs now on mymeetscores, social media, Yelp, etc... but keep in mind opinions are subjective... If you narrow it down, sometimes people will sort of scope out the gym before calling (watch some practices).

Be quiet about it. Don't even tell your closest, most BFF gym mom friend.

When season is done or nearly done, I'd call the new gyms' front desks and to start just give your first name and basic info about your kid (age, level). They can let you know their process for evaluations, etc. Some will have more available space than others, and some are pickier than others, but a lot of gyms will be willing to work with you. But know once they have your kid's name, or even your last name and your kids' age, it's possible for your current gym to find out, so be cautious.

Eventually, I'm sure they'll ask your kid's name and look them up, and the interested new gyms will invite prospective additions for a trial period (few days to a week or so). After a trial period, it's a somewhat joint decision whether it's a good fit and whether a switch is a good choice.

Edit to add: just saw other posts. Ditto on double tuition on one month!! And YES clean out her cubby, if she has one. Otherwise: awkward.

 

[profmom]

And unless things were really, truly terrible, once the switch is finalized, bring your child in to thank her/his primary coaches and say goodbye. I'm really astounded that some people will hustle their kids off to the new gym without ever having a face-to-face encounter/thank you/goodbye with a coach who's been working with the child for 10, 15, 20 hours a week for many years. Even if it's uncomfortable, in almost all cases the up sides of taking the high road outweigh the down sides. My personal opinion is that not doing this sends a poor message to the child about the monetization and lack of relational quality of the coach-athlete connection.

 

[IreneKa]

Wait until the season is almost over. In the meantime, narrow down your choice of the new gyms. Closer to the end of the season call the gyms of your choice and explain the situation (I know you want to switch from XCel to JO and you are worried about your DD's age), don't mention her name, or the name of your current gym. After the season is over, take her for the evaluations.

 

[Gymmommy71]

Don't make contact unless you are ready for your current gym to find out, just doing an private evaluation with a coach who will keep it quiet is enough for the word to get out if the gym is not completely empty.

Even making a phone call and talking to "a nice lady who answers the phone and seems to be totally on your side and understanding" could lead to your current gym finding out. A lot of gyms have parents answering their phones and these types of people can gossip and talk like you wouldn't believe. I overhear receptionist moms talking w/ other moms about the people who call asking for info all the time - they say things like "some mom of 12 year old level 6 from gym X called today looking for info" and then them and the other moms will be trying to figure out who it is online and determining if the kid is good or not. I'm not even exaggerating - this is how people are and we aren't even an extremely competitive gym so I can only imagine what the cut-throat places are like.

I'd personally email coaches/owners before I'd make a phone call. Like try and figure out coaches emails online and go through them before general reception/phone numbers. My experience is that coaches and owners are much better at keeping things quiet cause they have a positive self-interest in getting new talent/customers. Many parents view new team members as competition who can possibly take attention from their kid and some of them can act in devious ways - like trying to dig up dirt about you from others they know at your current gym (whether true or not) and using it to sabotage you w/ new gym. It's sad, but I've seen this more than once. Some also may not inform the right people that someone called if the person calling is someone they would prefer not join the gym.

 

[gasrgoose]

Short version. Based on years of these threads. Search threads for questions to ask.

Tell no one! No One!

Look online for gyms in your possible travel zone. Consider traffic at possible drive times and siblings tolerance for car rides.

Visit possible gyms to observe, also watch at meets for coaches you admire. Do not tell staff your current gym.

Decide on your top two ( or three, at most)

Immediatly after season. Empty out your child's cubby/locker " for cleaning"

If you are 100 percent sure you are leaving send a generic email thanking old gym and give notice. Be prepared to pay double tuition for one month.

Take her for trials. Accept position on a new team .

This ^^^^^^^ is the correct way to do it.

 

[MILgymFAM]

And unless things were really, truly terrible, once the switch is finalized, bring your child in to thank her/his primary coaches and say goodbye. I'm really astounded that some people will hustle their kids off to the new gym without ever having a face-to-face encounter/thank you/goodbye with a coach who's been working with the child for 10, 15, 20 hours a week for many years. Even if it's uncomfortable, in almost all cases the up sides of taking the high road outweigh the down sides. My personal opinion is that not doing this sends a poor message to the child about the monetization and lack of relational quality of the coach-athlete connection.

One reason would be that it isn't allowed or welcomed. Believe it or not, that's been the case for most switches we have experienced or seen (when a move isn't moving related). Gone means gone to a lot of gyms, and don't let the door hit you in the you know what.

 

[txgymfan]

When calling or emailing use a generic email address and possibly a friend's phone. An email address with your name will not protect your ananomity. No joke, gyms are sneaky and they TALK! We've had members kicked out of gyms because they started to look and got caught.

 

[Gymmommy71]

There is a HUGE difference between how exiting gymnasts are treated when they move or quit the sport versus when they go to another gym. Move away or quit the sport and they will have a huge party for you and post about you like you were their greatest gym family ever on social media - they'll even invite you back for year-end parities and social events, etc. Switch gyms and it's like you didn't exist. Don't even think about going in one last time to say goodbye unless nobody at all even knows yet and you announce it to your friends in the parking lot as you're about to get in your car and drive off for the last time.

 

[MILgymFAM]

When calling or emailing use a generic email address and possibly a friend's phone. An email address with your name will not protect your ananomity. No joke, gyms are sneaky and they TALK! We've had members kicked out of gyms because they started to look and got caught.

You have no idea the panic we felt once. We had anonymously contacted two gyms before the last meet of the season when we were certain my DD wouldn't stay with her current team. We went to try one out after emailing back and forth- no names or numbers were ever exchanged, only age and level. Then the team happened to be in my DDs session AND rotation at that final meet. We were so worried someone would say hi and spill the beans! I mean, she was leaving the next week no matter what, but she didn't want a scene or to be kicked out right at the meet (yes that was a real possibility). Luckily the coach knew her current coach's rep and kept mum, and even had the girls keep mum. She didn't end up switching to that gym, but I was massively grateful. Her eventual new gym knew of the coach's rep too.. he had apparently made quite an impression on a lot of people.

 

[RTT2]

Deargod, reading these responses is terrifying. Maybe it would be easier just to get DD to pick a different sport altogether! I hesitated to even post the question out of fear that her coaches/fellow parents would read it and somehow know who was asking the question. Think I'll have to keep mulling the whole thing over for a while.

 

[GymDad9.9]

Deargod, reading these responses is terrifying. Maybe it would be easier just to get DD to pick a different sport altogether! I hesitated to even post the question out of fear that her coaches/fellow parents would read it and somehow know who was asking the question. Think I'll have to keep mulling the whole thing over for a while.

Who's Paranoid Now?

Disclosure: We've never moved gyms and hope we don't, so I haven't experienced the consequences of such. My hope is if we ever do, it'll be done without some of the drama and fear of being outed discussed here.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Deargod, reading these responses is terrifying. Maybe it would be easier just to get DD to pick a different sport altogether! I hesitated to even post the question out of fear that her coaches/fellow parents would read it and somehow know who was asking the question. Think I'll have to keep mulling the whole thing over for a while.

Just wanted to tell of a positive experience too- they do happen! When my DD had to switch gyms to go from Xcel to JO (0% possibility of it at her Xcel gym), her coach was amazing about it. She was encouraging, discussed possibilities with us, and made sure DD was invited to the team sleepover at the gym even though it was over a week after she left. The girls even came to have a bday sleepover a few months later. We still keep in contact with that coach now, and even go to one meet a season to cheer the girls on. Sometimes it is a pleasant experience, I promise. You know your current gym/coaches and know better than we do how cautious you have to be. We only kept secret that one switch. Everything else has always been honesty and full disclosure and it's never betrayed us.

 

[txgymfan]

Sorry! Ten plus years of these threads and the dramatic/traumatic switches stand out.

 

[GymDad9.9]

Sorry! Ten plus years of these threads and the dramatic/traumatic switches stand out.

It's perfectly understandable. Caution on the side of crazy!

 

[RTT2]

Who's Paranoid Now?

Disclosure: We've never moved gyms and hope we don't, so I haven't experienced the consequences of such. My hope is if we ever do, it'll be done without some of the drama and fear of being outed discussed here.

I just don't like conflict, and I find the whole thing daunting.

 

[GymDad9.9]

I just don't like conflict, and I find the whole thing daunting.

Sorry if I offended you or made light of your situation. The irony of your reaction to everyone's reaction of your initial post was too much to resist not commenting on. I hope you find a conflict-free and stress-free resolution.