How do you know when it is time to make a gym switch?

[mimi]

I'm hoping some of the experts can help with a very tough situation. My daughter's gym has been going through a rough patch. They lost a good coach and have been dealing with coach turnover. What has resulted has been some pretty unfocused practices, and "musical coaches" at the meets. What's more, the gym currently does not have the best of equipment, i.e. no pit. I have looked into other options and have found a gym with a coach who has been in the program many, many years, seems well-respected, and the facility has all of the equipment that gymnast could ever need. The problem is, the gym is a 30 minute drive away. My daughter is a level 5 gymnast, and has a lot of talent, is TINY (projected to be about 4'10") and is very driven. However, I have no idea if she could ever attain the elite/collegiate level, as I know few gymnasts do. Do you think it is a waste of time to put the stress into my life of driving that much, or do I owe it to my daughter to give her the best option available? I know that no one can tell me what to do, but thoughts/opinions/experiences are welcome. Thanks!

 

[bookworm]

If you're even thinking of a gym change, it's overdue... as far as the drive of 30 minutes, don't worry about it, she'll get used to it ..we've always had a long drive to gym (1-1 1/2 hours each way)and my daughter has done fine with it..

 

[TXmom]

We also switched gyms, the drive is longer, about 25 minutes and the new gym has all the equipment needed and pits as well, so somewhat similar to your situation. For us the move was a good one and my kids are loving the new gym. I think none of us know what our kids will end up doing, no matter how driven they are. There's no guarantee my child will decide to quit gym and want to focus on dance, soccer, baseball or heck no sport at all and that's ok, that's the great thing about being a kid, there's so many things they can do and try. As parents, we're just along for the ride and get to be chauffer's and bring our checkbooks! Good luck with what you decide, for us the decision was a good one and I find that during the 25 minute drive I get to talk to my kids about their school day, friends, etc. So it is nice one on one time

 

[my4buffaloes]

Who knows how far your dd will go with this sport (or any sport) but I feel as a parent it is my responsibility to give my kids the opportunity to go as far as they want. it doesn't sound like your dd will have that opportunity at the current gym, but would at the new gym. We waivered on switching gyms and decided to wait another year and finally we switched 2 years ago but we should have switched much sooner. That is something I totally regret. You are already questioning it, so it is time to do it. Why waste another year?

 

[Deleted member D3987]

you do what you gotta do.

 

[Empowered]

My general thought, having a child who's switched gyms twice, is that if you're even considering it then you're probably not in the right place. The commute to my daughter's gym went from less than 5 minutes to 50 minutes but the time sacrifice has been well worth it to see her progress so much at this sport.

I would prepare you though that switching gyms is generally not easy. The gym being left often times takes it as a slight and sometimes no matter how nicely you try and leave, they can be downright mean. But you can't not make a move that's right for your child because you're afraid of what other people will think.

The only constant I've noticed in gymnastics thus far, is change. Teammates come and go, coaches come and go, programs go up and down... You have to be willing to change with the sport even if the change isn't necessarily convenient.

 

[Quadqueen]

I have no answers...I am in the same boat as you are!!

 

[Ingwe]

We just recently made a gym switch (in the middle of the season no less)

Without getting into all the ugly details, I will leave it at I wish I had made the change 6 months ago when I first started thinking about.

We have gone from a 40 minute drive to well over an hour but IMO it is totally worth it.

Like the others have said, if you are thinking about it, then it is time to change.

 

[BlairBob]

A 30 minute drive isn't a big deal. It isn't as easy as 15 minutes, but as long as you don't get into that 40-50m range, it goes by fast.

Typically I have had nearly a 30 minute commute to most of the gym's I've worked at, except one gym which was about 3 minutes away. Pretty handy to just walk a block to the gym. Err, I forgot I did live about 5 minutes from another gym. Roughly 7-10 minutes on my bike, or a 20 minute walk and about 5 minutes in the car.

But don't bank on ever really being closer than 20 minutes. I think there was a survey done that most gym parents would prefer a gym within 20 minutes though which is only really possible in a Metropolitan city not requiring getting on the freeway.

 

[wallinbl]

But don't bank on ever really being closer than 20 minutes. I think there was a survey done that most gym parents would prefer a gym within 20 minutes though which is only really possible in a Metropolitan city not requiring getting on the freeway.

We're about 8 minutes away! There are two really good gyms about 30 minutes away, but we're quite happy with ours. The distance was a factor in why we didn't check out the other two gyms when we switched to this one (from a different gym that's 8 minutes away). If DD were training 8 hours/day and homeschooled, it might be one thing, but for your average competitive gymnast, 30 minutes each way several school nights a week seems a lot to me.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Questions to ask yourself.

1. Is your daughter happy where she is, is she enjoying her training and happy with her teammates?

2. Is your daughter progressing and moving forward in her training at this point? This progress might not be fast but gymnastics progress is often not fast, the question is if she is steadily moving forwards?

3. From looking at what is happening with the older/higher level girls at your gym will this progress continue to the higher levels? Or does the gym have difficulty getting quality gymnasts beyond a certain point?

4. What are your goals for your daughter in gymnastics, what do you want her to get out of it?

5. What are your daughters goals in gymnastics and what does she want to get out of it?

6. If you left your current gym would they allow you back if things don't go as planned at the new gym or would that door be closed forever?

7. Have you spoken to parents/gymnasts from the other gym, are they happy? Are there any issue's you should be award of?

8. What kinds of financial changes would this change incur and can you afford them?

9. Will the change impact any other family members? And how will it do so? Is there anything you can do to lessen this?

10. Will your daughter cope with these changes meaning more time in the car and less time for rest, homework, friends etc?

11. Will you cope or are you likely to go stir crazy spending 2 hours in the car each day (30 there and 30 back, twice once to drop her off and once to pick her up).

12. If you don't plan to go home what will you do?

Once you have answered all the above questions in most cases you will have found the answer you are looking for.

 

[mimi]

She is mostly happy at her current gym, but unhappy at the lack of equipment. Her teammates are great, except for one, who has been "mean girling" her for almost a year. We have handled it as well as we can, and my dd has developed a thicker skin. I have another younger child, who will be affected by being dragged along. Financial is not a concern. My old gym would have an open door policy, but I feel like even still it would be weird to return. GEEZ, this is a tough one!!!

 

[LaurieJay]

Just belong

hey there, sorry to hear that your gym is going through several changes that has you questioning whether you still belong there or not. This is always a tough situation...but in my opinion we will have to adapt to change all though our lives. My daughter does not do well with changes and for awhile when she was around 8 yrs old, I let her walk away from things when change upset her and raised her anxiety. When a good friend of hers left her team...i let her sit at home and sulk about it, when a coach left we were upset and sulked about it...and finally.....after this happening several times I did alot of soul searching then sat her down a few months ago (she's 10 now) and explained that not everyone has the same committment level as we do and we will continue to see them come and go and we will have to accept it and adapt to it. Gyms grow, coaches grow and move on, equipment grows, girls grow out of it, parents get gossipy and forget about whats really important. They chose a gym....I feel that is hard on the gym and friends they leave behind every time a mommy decides she might have made a mistake 3 years ago. Myself, I don't feel like you made a mistake. I don't think that when someone questions themselves that it means that its time to change gyms. As mommy's we usually question ourselves when we know we have already made a good choice with gyms....if the gym was a bad place to be you would not have stayed and your mommy intuition would have told on day 2 to go explore other gyms in your area. I made a choice for my daughter several years ago and I will always support my gym through changes as I trust them. Even though I support my child being able to adapt to change, I wish that more parents would stand behind their original choice and remember they will leave friends behind to again deal with change. It has broken my heart on several occassions to see my daughter say goodbye to someone through her tears or come home from training asking "why isn't ??????? coming back to class?" Its hard on the families you leave behind. On the other hand, I realize its hard dealing with your daughters coach leaving....things happen for a reason. Maybe a different coach will have a new and refreshing perspective? I choose to be positive about change. Possibly as a team you could offer some awesome fundraising ideas for some new equipment. An inspiring story we were told at a competition last year from the head coach of a very rural gymnastics club: The team practiced in the basement of a church as a knock down facility, meaning they had to set up and take down the equipment before and after each practice. They only had a strip of mats for tumbling, one low beam, a set of bars, and no vault. They would have to stack panel mats as there vault. Well....it was a tad embarrassing as each awards ceremony came and went and each time at least one of their athletes were on the podium. You don't have to have it all.....if you can dream it....you can achieve it. Do some soul searching, you'll find the answer for your family. Good luck to both of you in your gymnastics journey. I myself know where I belong, maybe you do to.

 

[COOLGYMMOM]

My DD went to her old gym since she was two years old. But we had to made a gym switch in the middle of the season because her head coach was forced to leave the gym. We followed her to the new gym which was 30 minutes driving for me. But we just switched her again to a nearby gym (15 minutes driving distance) 2 weeks ago.
I have a younger daughter who is going to K this fall, and my husband works long hours and 6 days a week. We have no grandparents live nearby who can help out. I feel it will not be fair for the young one to stay in the gym waiting for her sister to practice 4 days a week.
My DD is happy to train with her new team mates. My younger DD finally doesn't need to eat her dinner in the gym. We are very happy about the switching.

 

[cazoon]

We just switched from a gym less that 5 minutes away to 25 minutes away. It does not feel that much different and gives us more time to get ready in the car.

 

[sportzmomov3]

No one can predict the future.
As parents, we can only support our children the best way we are able, taking account of our family's priorities, lifestyle and resources.
The comment I usually have in these situations is to ask yourself, "what can my DD gain from staying, or lose from not leaving?" This question comes after KNOWING that MORE is what SHE wants, and not what you want for her.
Regardless of her age, given the situation you have described, as well as your description of your DD's desires, don't second guess your gut instinct - it will rarely fail you; it is time to move on.

Change is never easy, but sometimes it is necessary, and sometimes needs to happen more than once.

Best of luck in your journey!

 

[MaryA]

We just switched from a gym we could walk to (!!!!) to one that's about a 30 minute drive. Do I love the commute? No, but we do a ton of carpooling, and the gym itself makes the sacrifice worth it. There are people at the gym who drive an hour to get there... I'm not sure if I'd do that... but a half-hour is do-able. DD went from "No, I will never ever leave my gym!" to asking me why I didn't start her at a better gym to begin with (and, while I was at it, I should have started her at age 2, because waiting until she was 5 years old was leaving it go way too long, and her gymnastics career will forever suffer because of it! ). I know it is a gut-wrenching decision! Good luck!

 

[Kay_Hll]

I would suggest to leave this decision to the gymnast. Since she is the one that will be there everyday and it is part of her experience making the decision. We as parents can guide her with the pluses and minuses of each and let her draw the conclusion and we support her decision.

 

[MaryA]

I would suggest to leave this decision to the gymnast. Since she is the one that will be there everyday and it is part of her experience making the decision. We as parents can guide her with the pluses and minuses of each and let her draw the conclusion and we support her decision.

When we made the switch, I did try to leave it to my daughter, but she had a lot of guilt surrounding the switch and in the end she asked if I would make the decision for her. By this point, I knew what she wanted to switch... she had made a long list of "pros" and "cons" and her "pro" list for switching was twice as long as her "con" list. But guilt over leaving the team and coaches she had been with for half her life immobilized her. When I finally told her that "I" had made the decision that she was switching, she acted like a huge weight had been lifted off her. In theory, I'm in favor of leaving the decision up to the child, but in practice, it may just be too much to ask from a child. Ironically, the guilt that had been eating her up during the whole decision-making process seemed to miraculously evaporate as soon as she started at the new gym. Now she wouldn't go back if you paid her.

 

[wallinbl]

When we made the switch, I did try to leave it to my daughter, but she had a lot of guilt surrounding the switch and in the end she asked if I would make the decision for her. By this point, I knew what she wanted to switch... she had made a long list of "pros" and "cons" and her "pro" list for switching was twice as long as her "con" list. But guilt over leaving the team and coaches she had been with for half her life immobilized her. When I finally told her that "I" had made the decision that she was switching, she acted like a huge weight had been lifted off her. In theory, I'm in favor of leaving the decision up to the child, but in practice, it may just be too much to ask from a child. Ironically, the guilt that had been eating her up during the whole decision-making process seemed to miraculously evaporate as soon as she started at the new gym. Now she wouldn't go back if you paid her.

We had a similar experience. Leaving the old gym was wrenching, but DD is thrilled to be at the new place. The coach at the old gym has been great about it - we talk at meets and she's very encouraging to DD.