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stillgotmyleotard

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Feb 15, 2014
1,322
So here we are in school holidays which, as ever, consist of gym, gym and more gym. And, as ever, I can't help but feel for the non-gymnasts in my household.

I wonder how other families manage the balance between helping their gymnasts get what they need, while not leaving the other kids out. How much time do you manage to make as a complete family unit? Do your other kids ever feel like they miss out because of one sibling's gymnastics?

Any responses will be gratefully received.
 

Faith

Coach
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Gymnast
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Aug 17, 2011
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Same, both ways. When dd was too young to do gym and holiday activities, yes we were running round after dd1, but we'd go off to the park, cafe, shops, generally spend quality time. I often felt dd1 missed out a lot.

Now dd2 is the gymnast but dd1 is off at her other sport anyway. So it's just me hanging round in me lonesome. Must find a hobby :p
 

stillgotmyleotard

Trainee Numpty Watcher
Proud Parent
Feb 15, 2014
1,322
I am surely not the only one whose kid only ever wants to do gym? She has never complained about going or anything she misses because of it.

Occasionally, I have had to deal with the left-out feelings of the non-gymnasts in my household. More often, I have to deal with my own worries that I might be over-looking them with all the time and money gym takes.

I imagine these worries are normal and common.
 

munchkin3

Proud Parent
Jun 6, 2008
2,102
My non gymnast son has taken the 180 degree opposite......he HATES gymnastics and swears he will never put his kids in gymnastics.........we will see.......

Until then, on gym nights he gets to be the 'only' child, something very appealing to a middle child.
 
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Jenny

Coach
Proud Parent
Sep 17, 2012
3,440
It has been a struggle sometimes and I have felt guilty sometimes about what each child is missing out on. And that is with dd training gymnastics a maximum of 15 hours a week. However I really wonder how it affects those kids at elite level and the tops kids who train up to 30 hours a week. That must been an insane burden on the family to make sure siblings are nurtured and flourishing.
 

2G1B

Proud Parent
Jan 27, 2013
2,226
All 3 of mine are gymnasts, so it isn't quite as bad; but they do all still get bored and complain about the others' meets (pretty much they only want to watch their sibling, then they have no interest in watching the other kids). Sometimes I go to the meets with whom ever is competing and DH stays with the other two.

We are going to run into some issues this summer. One kid is doing 20 hours/week now. Another will be doing I believe 12 this summer and the 3rd will be doing 10. I see my two who only have 3 days per week getting frustrated with their sister's 5 days...
 
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Mrs. Puma

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Sep 23, 2014
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Syracuse, NY
This is always a constant guilt of mine...but I give my 9 &1/2 year old the same opportunities as my 8 year old gymmie. They are different kids and want different things and I'm trying really hard to respect that (even though my type A self doesn't get it!!!!) She wants to quit competitive dance, and had even made noises about perhaps returning to gym which I am very concerned about. She will never catch up to little sis, she only would want to do it on a rec level, but I guess if she's ok with that, I should be too...I feel your pain! Good luck! :)
 
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Natasha

Proud Parent
Jan 28, 2011
1,712
Lots of guilt here. We simply do not have the resources to put the time and money into activities for the other 2 that we put into gymnastics, and no, its not fair. Thankfully older son (now 18)had picked a very inexpensive sport, but I think he is well aware of the vacations we could take and how much money goes into gymnastics. I have purposely steered younger dd away from gymnastics even though she seems to have some natural talent and enjoys it. I am bringing younger dd along on fun trip to beach for upcoming meet, so it helps that she gets some of the travel benefits.
 

Rockygym

Proud Parent
Aug 6, 2014
886
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Our strategy - if you can't beat them, join them! younger DS is 5 and doing very well in his advanced rec class and loves it as much as DD. Just not looking forward to 2 sets of competition fees if they both stick with it
 

GYM0M

Proud Parent
Jul 23, 2013
1,398
It is an impossible balance, but we are very careful to make individual time with all of our kiddos and we make time as a family as well. Luckily, we have been blessed with only one extremely competitive child! I mean, if we are playing checkers, she's trying to beat you! My son plays football, basketball, & baseball, but let's just say, he just plays for FUN! He could care less if they win. Basketball is through a church league & they erase the scores every quarter. Gymmie would write them down so she could see who won! My oldest has caused me some grief. I have wondered if we give her enough attention, but as it turns out, it was just hormones making her constantly upset! She's much better 3 out of 4 weeks per month! We have dinner together every night, movie night on Saturday or Sunday.
 
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Faith

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Aug 17, 2011
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@GYMOM Did your older ones try gymnastics at all? If not how did your youngest get into it? Often the ones who are good very young are in it because of older siblings.

Our club is always watching out for siblings as usually the genetic base is there so they're more likely to have a natural aptitude, plus they've been hanging around from birth watching and picking stuff up. HC asked me the other day if I'd considered having any more children!

@Mrs. Puma brings up another point I worry about- having one who is doing so well, how to deal with a sibling who is younger or maybe not as talented. We probably make more of DD2's little successes, but then we don't want to downplay DD1's achievements either!
 

MILgymFAM

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Feb 6, 2014
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Twin Cities
@GYMOM Did your older ones try gymnastics at all? If not how did your youngest get into it? Often the ones who are good very young are in it because of older siblings.

Our club is always watching out for siblings as usually the genetic base is there so they're more likely to have a natural aptitude, plus they've been hanging around from birth watching and picking stuff up. HC asked me the other day if I'd considered having any more children!

@Mrs. Puma brings up another point I worry about- having one who is doing so well, how to deal with a sibling who is younger or maybe not as talented. We probably make more of DD2's little successes, but then we don't want to downplay DD1's achievements either!

That has always been hardest for us. We have one who seems to be naturally better at most everything, but has really outshone in school. I still haven't struck the right balance, I don't believe. But I keep trying.
 

kaloss

Proud Parent
May 23, 2013
303
Hampton, VA
Oldest dd thinks gymnastics is boring and never wants to go into the gym....except open gym. She is a beautiful swimmer though. Middle dd is our gymmie, they both started together but middle dd took off and oldest did not . Youngest dd just started tumble bunnies (she is 3) just so she has some kind of activity. She likes to "break" into the gym through the coaches door, so I figured it was best to give her a little time so she would be less likely to escape.

I do try to balance time with everyone and make sure gymmie doesn't miss out on too much as far as family outings and things like that. She is just now old enough to recognize why she sometimes has to make a sacrifice for gymnastics and is fine with it. She knows that after meet season, she can do swimming and like that too.
 
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bookworm

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We've had 2 in gym and one in another sport that my husband shuttled him to ....we always made sure to bring the whole family to the "big" meets (Regionals, Nationals) that were generally travel meets so no one felt excluded. My girls liked having their brother at those meets and he actually liked coming along....was it always "fair" in terms of time allotment and money spent, probably not but it was never really an issue in our house, it's just the way things were...
 
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BachFlyer

Proud Parent
Mar 29, 2010
1,103
My older dd is the gymnast, and I admit my younger dd is the one that gets the short end of the stick sometimes. I have found that acknowledging it with her helps. My position is that gymnasts have limited years to do their sport, and will likely be done after high school. My younger dd can ride horses for the rest of her life, and her time will come where the focus of extra funds will shift to her. Younger dd had the opportunity to do gymnastics too, but didn't like the time commitment and didn't want to give up her other activities. She gets more 1 on 1 time with me, and more time to relax and watch TV. It's not always fair, but it is what it is. We travel together as a family to almost every meet. Younger dd is a professional spectator! She does get bored sometimes, especially if we are watching other sessions at state/regionals, but she is a trooper and I always thank her for being so patient.
 

Mrs. Puma

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Sep 23, 2014
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Syracuse, NY
@GYMOM Did your older ones try gymnastics at all? If not how did your youngest get into it? Often the ones who are good very young are in it because of older siblings.

Our club is always watching out for siblings as usually the genetic base is there so they're more likely to have a natural aptitude, plus they've been hanging around from birth watching and picking stuff up. HC asked me the other day if I'd considered having any more children!

@Mrs. Puma brings up another point I worry about- having one who is doing so well, how to deal with a sibling who is younger or maybe not as talented. We probably make more of DD2's little successes, but then we don't want to downplay DD1's achievements either!
Yes, this is very hard. My older DD is actually pretty athletic, she does very well when she TRIES...but she's just not very driven. Most her dance teammates practice at home, and want to be at the studio as much as possible, but that's just not her. I'm trying to "reframe" it and accept her for being who she is. She is an amazing kid and I could fill a thousand posts bragging about her in other ways, but she is just a different breed than my younger one! :)
 
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l.c.o

Proud Parent
Oct 7, 2013
1,415
There are non-gymnast children?!

All kidding aside, I'll often schedule other activities or outings with DS when DD has practice. And each time she has a meet, my son gets a turn picking a family outing.

Of course, the plan is for him to compete level 4 next year, so I imagine that if he sticks it out, their hours will eventually start to even out, and I'll be off the hook. ;)
 
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GYM0M

Proud Parent
Jul 23, 2013
1,398
@GYMOM Did your older ones try gymnastics at all? If not how did your youngest get into it? Often the ones who are good very young are in it because of older siblings.
Nope, well they took a class or two after she started and when I worked for the gym, but the reason we enrolled her: her dad and I were coaching a tball team. She was our little bat girl! She sd something about playing next year in her tiny two year old way, but her dad told her she was too small & she got upset cuz she never got to do anything! Lol! I comforted her by saying that for her birthday, I'd find something daddy would let her do.
 

SurpriseGymMom

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Sep 11, 2013
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My older Dd does ballet/dance and up until just a couple of years ago, my gymmie was the one who was constantly at her older sisters dance studio. ;) ODD still dances, gymmie is in the gym, it works out fine because their schedules are similar enough. I just drive back and forth a lot, lol! For meet/competition season it gets a little trickier as they can have (and have had) competitions in completely different directions in the same weekend. All our meets/competitions are a minimum 2hr drive, most 3-4hrs and all dance competitions require a whole weekend stay in hotel. It worked out fairly well this season, only two major conflicts.
So in short, it was actually really nice to get YDD involved in something almost as time consuming as what ODD does. :)
The person getting the short end of the stick is really my husband, he very rarely sees us during the week and we don't have a single weekday that we can sit down and have dinner together. We try to make up for it during the weekends, but during season we are almost never home....
 
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