Parents How to move on… advice needed

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Hello. So the gym my dd competes for originally had two kiddos on her level including her. It has since become just my dd so it’s just her and her coach at competitions and this is her first meet season.

Recently, there has been a ton of drama in our gym to include bullying by both children and adults. On top of that, her coach lost her in an event center when she was the only kid she was to be responsible for. Another mom from another gym found her , alone and crying. (I was just down the hall waiting for her coach to bring her to me like I was told to do.. it was a huge miscommunication and very upsetting for everyone involved) I have also witnessed many injuries due to unsafe training practices. All of these reasons have led us to finding a new gym. My daughter has begun training with the new gym and loves it. She is doing the due process of going to their tryout but the coach has assured me they will find a spot for her which I really appreciate. We are really looking forward to the fresh start. She even chose to skip regionals, nationals etc and just move on to the new gym. My question is… how do I tell the gym we are at that we are moving on? We have no contract with them but I feel like I should let them know as soon as possible. They also have no idea she won’t be going to regionals/nationals etc so I need to tell them soon.
 
Just email them and move on. Thank them for their time and tell them that your daughter will not be returning. It doesn't sound like she has many connections there so just go. Not sure what the hesitation would be at this point based on what you said is going on.
It’s just a very small gymnastics community here so I want to do it the right way, without upsetting anyone. I mean maybe that shouldn’t be my main concern at this point but I just want to make sure we move on the “correct” way.
 
A polite email should be fine.
This is what I figured out when a bunch of kids left the last gym.
You do not have to give reasons. Actually, don't. Don't say she's at a new gym. Don't make a list of complaints or hint there was anything wrong. You don't owe them an explanation and any explanation you give can only be a pain in the butt for everyone involved.
"My daughter has had a wonderful time at your gym but it's time for her to move on. Good-bye and thanks for everything."
Don't forget to change her gym at the USAG website.

ALSO: I'm surprised she can't continue meet season with the new gym.
 
That would be the best way in my experience, especially given the situation. Just thank them for their time and what they have given to your daughter and let them know she will not be returning. Most people on this board that have "been there, done that" would advise the same.
It would be different if you were moving far away, if she was leaving the sport, or you were switching from XCel to DP, for example. It would also be very different if she needed to say her last goodbyes to close friends and coaches.
 
A polite email should be fine.
This is what I figured out when a bunch of kids left the last gym.
You do not have to give reasons. Actually, don't. Don't say she's at a new gym. Don't make a list of complaints or hint there was anything wrong. You don't owe them an explanation and any explanation you give can only be a pain in the butt for everyone involved.
"My daughter has had a wonderful time at your gym but it's time for her to move on. Good-bye and thanks for everything."
Don't forget to change her gym at the USAG website.

ALSO: I'm surprised she can't continue meet season with the new gym.
 
Thanks for the reply. Really great advice! Also, it seems like all the gyms here don’t take kids mid-season. They have designated tryout periods and that’s about it.
 
That would be the best way in my experience, especially given the situation. Just thank them for their time and what they have given to your daughter and let them know she will not be returning. Most people on this board that have "been there, done that" would advise the same.
It would be different if you were moving far away, if she was leaving the sport, or you were switching from XCel to DP, for example. It would also be very different if she needed to say her last goodbyes to close friends and coaches.

I 100% concur with this. Short and sweet email is all that is needed.

ETA - I'm glad the new gym is working out!
 
If she's not going to regionals with ANY team, why would you need to wait until they're finished? It seems irrelevant, but maybe I'm missing something?
Are you still paying the old gym?
 
Should I do it now or after she completes the regular meet season? I believe there are two more competitions left.
If you already committed to the new gym and your daughter is already training there, rip that band-aid off ASAP!! Your daughter is not competing in the last meets anyways, right? So you don't need anything else from them. Ideally they should hear from you, and not the grapevine that your family is leaving so if it were me, I'd give them notice right away.
 
If you already committed to the new gym and your daughter is already training there, rip that band-aid off ASAP!!

Think of it this way... they need to plan their finances. If you're not paying them next month, they need to figure out what that means for their books. The coach would probably love to know so they can make their own plans for those comp days they had one gymnast to "watch."
 
Could you clarify if she already have a spot on the team at the new gym? Or is the plan to move and then try different gyms? If they are doing states now, then they’re deciding move-ups right after and I would be worried about making sure she has a spot on a new team asap. Our gym decides move-ups right after states and then there is a brief period of time when they bring in athletes from other gyms for 1-2 weeks of tryout practices before allocating remaining spots. So my impulse based on where I live (and CT could be very different, of course) would be to move now to get a spot at a new gym, especially because compulsory levels can be big and/or have limited spots before the attrition of optionals.
 
Yes we have paid for the entire season so it would be nice to finish
I'm confused now. I thought you said your daughter didn't want to finish the season? Or are there more meets and she doesn't want to the post-season? You don't have a contract so when you say you've paid for the entire season are you talking meet fees? I know meet fees are not a small chunk of change but if you can make a clean start in a new gym then I'd still be inclined to take my kid lead and go now. Also, I'm not even sure how that works if your DD is already training at the new place but you would still compete at the old gym? This scenario would not even be allowed at my kid's club. You are either in or not (they frown on open gym at neighboring clubs).
 
I'm confused now. I thought you said your daughter didn't want to finish the season? Or are there more meets and she doesn't want to the post-season? You don't have a contract so when you say you've paid for the entire season are you talking meet fees? I know meet fees are not a small chunk of change but if you can make a clean start in a new gym then I'd still be inclined to take my kid lead and go now. Also, I'm not even sure how that works if your DD is already training at the new place but you would still compete at the old gym? This scenario would not even be allowed at my kid's club. You are either in or not (they frown on open gym at neighboring clubs).
I’m sorry if I come off as confusing. There are two more “regular” meets left that I have paid for entirely, including her training. I hope that makes sense! They are the meets before the regionals/nationals etc. We all want her to finish those last two meets, including the new gym. She is just not going to any of the others she has qualified for. I hope that makes sense. Also, the new gym does not mind us being there at all as we are not competing with them until next season.
 
I'm confused now. I thought you said your daughter didn't want to finish the season? Or are there more meets and she doesn't want to the post-season? You don't have a contract so when you say you've paid for the entire season are you talking meet fees? I know meet fees are not a small chunk of change but if you can make a clean start in a new gym then I'd still be inclined to take my kid lead and go now. Also, I'm not even sure how that works if your DD is already training at the new place but you would still compete at the old gym? This scenario would not even be allowed at my kid's club. You are either in or not (they frown on open gym at neighboring clubs).
I’m sorry if I come off as confusing. There are two more “regular” meets left that I have paid for entirely, including her training. I hope that makes sense! They are the meets before the regionals/nationals etc. We all want her to finish those last two meets, including the new gym. She is just not going to any of the others she has qualified for. I hope that makes sense. Also, the new gym does not mind us being there at all as we are not competing with them until next season.
I'm confused now. I thought you said your daughter didn't want to finish the season? Or are there more meets and she doesn't want to the post-season? You don't have a contract so when you say you've paid for the entire season are you talking meet fees? I know meet fees are not a small chunk of change but if you can make a clean start in a new gym then I'd still be inclined to take my kid lead and go now. Also, I'm not even sure how that works if your DD is already training at the new place but you would still compete at the old gym? This scenario would not even be allowed at my kid's club. You are either in or not (they frown on open gym at neighboring clubs).
I also want to mention that without giving myself away entirely, these two gyms do not compete with eachother. They are two separate entities of gymnastics. My daughter does not compete with these kids at meets.
 
Could you clarify if she already have a spot on the team at the new gym? Or is the plan to move and then try different gyms? If they are doing states now, then they’re deciding move-ups right after and I would be worried about making sure she has a spot on a new team asap. Our gym decides move-ups right after states and then there is a brief period of time when they bring in athletes from other gyms for 1-2 weeks of tryout practices before allocating remaining spots. So my impulse based on where I live (and CT could be very different, of course) would be to move now to get a spot at a new gym, especially because compulsory levels can be big and/or have limited spots before the attrition of optionals.
Ignore my response…I think I confused two different threads and completely lost the plot! Good luck to your daughter, this sounds like a positive change.
 
Treat this like a business transaction. Use facts, no emotion. "Hi there, I am writing to let you know that effective XXX date, DD will be leaving the gym. We truly appreciate all of the time that you have devoted to her training. She will compete at XXX meet and YYY meet because those are indeed paid for in full and it is important to see the commitments through. Then, effective XXX date, we would like to terminate her tuition / training costs (however you refer to it). Please let me know if I need to sign anything or if this email will suffice as notice. Again, thank you for all of your hard work - it is appreciated."

There is 0 reason to elaborate, get into the weeds or give feedback. State the facts and move on. If they ask, you can just say "We feel that it is in DD best interest to train elsewhere at this point." Less is more here.
 
Treat this like a business transaction. Use facts, no emotion. "Hi there, I am writing to let you know that effective XXX date, DD will be leaving the gym. We truly appreciate all of the time that you have devoted to her training. She will compete at XXX meet and YYY meet because those are indeed paid for in full and it is important to see the commitments through. Then, effective XXX date, we would like to terminate her tuition / training costs (however you refer to it). Please let me know if I need to sign anything or if this email will suffice as notice. Again, thank you for all of your hard work - it is appreciated."

There is 0 reason to elaborate, get into the weeds or give feedback. State the facts and move on. If they ask, you can just say "We feel that it is in DD best interest to train elsewhere at this point." Less is more here.
You are awesome. I will do exactly this. Thanks so much.
 

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