WAG I just don't know what to do.

[Guenhwyvar132]

One more thing you could try is rock climbing . Good luck deciding!! Maybe make a t chart of the reasons you do and don't want to leave.

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

So from my original post, you've now said you are 15 and so much has changed. I think a break is in order as well. You CAN go back if you find you can't live without it. I do get that it has likely Been your whole life to here, so it is scary. But, you have so much of your life ahead of yu, new things to try, experience, etc.

Have you thought about coaching little kids at your gym? Is that an option? Maybe a clean break is better?

 

[Flipomaniak]

So from my original post, you've now said you are 15 and so much has changed. I think a break is in order as well. You CAN go back if you find you can't live without it. I do get that it has likely Been your whole life to here, so it is scary. But, you have so much of your life ahead of yu, new things to try, experience, etc.

Have you thought about coaching little kids at your gym? Is that an option? Maybe a clean break is better?

I don't know if I could go back, so I feel it's either I stay or leave. I would like to try and experience new things as well. I don't think my gym would hire a 15 year old...

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

We have 15 year olds train as jr. Coaches who start out teaching rec.

Are you in good terms with your coach? If so, I'd talk to her or him. If not, well yu just have to know in your heart if yu can put in 20 or so hours very week for the next year feeling the way you do now. Because unless one of the variables changes, the situation is not likely to.

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[Flipomaniak]

We have 15 year olds train as jr. Coaches who start out teaching rec.

Are you in good terms with your coach? If so, I'd talk to her or him. If not, well yu just have to know in your heart if yu can put in 20 or so hours very week for the next year feeling the way you do now. Because unless one of the variables changes, the situation is not likely to.

Good luck whatever you decide.

30 hours a week, shoot me now! I don't think I can keep doing that... I'm on alright points with my coach, he's not my best friend but we're not enemies either, hahaha

 

[txgymfan]

Please have this conversation with your mom too. If it would help, show her this thread. I know she said it is your decision but let her help you with the struggle.

 

[Flipomaniak]

Please have this conversation with your mom too. If it would help, show her this thread. I know she said it is your decision but let her help you with the struggle.

I have, she is completely neutral. Saying it's my choice and everything. She says I can definitely look into dance and cheer and even try it for a week or so. She doesn't want me to quit but she wouldn't force me to stay either. I'm just so torn!

 

[superflipgirl]

I assume that since you're 15, you're probably in high school, so does your school have a high school team? High school gymnastics is really great, especially if, like you, you feel like if you don't do NCAA it's not worth it anymore. It's only one season a year, and not so much pressure. I definitely suggest trying your high school team and if you feel like that's enough to satisfy your pleasure of doing the sport, you could just do that and maybe try cheer/dance or whatever you want to do in the other seasons. Regardless, be proud of yourself for making it to level 10!!! That alone is a HUGE accomplishment. And whether you decide to continue a lot, the skills that you've gotten from gymnastics are SO helpful in other sports, that if you have the ability to use them in other sports, you almost don't miss it that much. I did club gymnastics for a really long time, and I still do high school in the winter, but the skills I've gained help me SO MUCH in other sports. I'm flexible for hurdles/high jump etc. in track, when I was a cheerleader I was already good at tumbling/jumps, I'm a pretty good diver, and I'm pretty sure I want to pursue dance in college and I already feel like I'll be pretty good at it with my gymnastics background. Just being a gymnast opens so many doors for you. Good luck with whatever decision you choose!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

You owe it to yourself to give more time. At your age this happens a lot, meaning u could have a different outlook in 6 months. 6 months is a short duration, commit and let time decide. You know this is what u need to do at this point so do it. .

 

[Fire.Wind.Rain]

My daughter at Level 6 felt the same way. She took a 2 month break, came back refreshed and blasted through new skills that had previously eluded her.

 

[fliptwisttwirl]

I went through a time period this summer where I felt the exact same. I was just miserable and done. I've been in gymnastics since I was 2 or 3 and I didn't think I wanted to do it anymore. I cried in the middle of workout..multiple times..and told my coach that I was just done. I just didn't want to do it anymore. He said if I was done and couldn't find the motivation inside then there was nothing he could do. I had some talks with my parents about pressure and with my coaches about how to have fun in the gym again instead of think towards competition and finally it passed. If I was still miserable there I'm not sure if I would have continued when school started. There's no point to be somewhere if you're miserable. If it's pressure getting to you, try to find someway to get the pressure away for a while and just remember how to have fun again. If you aren't having fun and doing well..then move on. I'm sure gymnastics has taught you so much that you will be able to carry on for the rest of your life. It won't be wasted just because it ended sooner then expected. Good luck with everything. I hope it works out for the best.

 

[Luvs2coach]

I have had athletes in your position... The feeling of being hopeless & confused causes a lot of anxiety. You become more critical of your skills & the definition of a "successful" workout. The more unsuccessful you feel, the more you spiral out of control with your emotions.

I have had luck with having open conversations with these athletes that were in similar circumstances as you. Most moved on with their careers. 1 athlete knew she was going to commit for 1 last season. She gave herself goals and as a level 9, had an undefeated season on floor- ending with being westerns champ!

I suggest:

1. Speaking to your coach honestly. They are there to not only help you physically, but also mentally through this sport.

2. Possibly cut back a day of workout for a month. Allowing for a little down time- simply to get homework done and getting to bed at a decent hour may do a lot for your psyche. A rested mind can definitely be beneficial to a more successful attitude = more successful workout. Things simply may feel easier.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others/ thinking you aren't meeting expectations. The only expectation that matters is yours! Take each day at a time. Keep a journal and write down 3 positive things from your workout. At first it may simply be that you didn't rip or You enjoyed a conversation with a teammate. Eventually, (1-2 months) hopefully you will notice that you will write more about your skills or performances. If not... Then the outcome of this awesome gymnastics career may become more clear.

4. I always tell my kids... Don't retire from gym before trying another gym. It could simply be a change of pace/atmosphere that can bring you back to life. Yes, I will be sad to know that your career can't/won't continue with me. BUT it is SO much more important to me that you continue to love this sport. So... Maybe try another club?

5. Gymnasts tend to fall into other sports quite easily. Don't stress over what you will do without gym- if that is the decision in the end.

6. Talk to an athlete in NCAA gymnastics. Ask about the pros & cons. Team life is so different than club life. What you think you can't handle now, may only be for a (relatively) short time... To reach a truly awesome reward- NCAA gymnastics!

7. If you simply can't imagine life without gym- you aren't done.
If you cry thinking about not doing gym- you aren't done.
If you know deep inside, if it felt easy you would not be thinking about giving up gym- you aren't done.

The simple fact that you have been working your way thorough this the last 6 months tells me there is still something there. Be sure to be open & start with a conversation. You owe yourself & your coaching staff that.

Best wishes to you.

 

[LizzieLac]

You can always go back. I have seen it many times at my DD's gym. It sounds like you need to explore other things. Going through that exploration can help you determine if you still have passion for the sport.

The reason why they call it "transitioning" is because quitting has such a negative connotation. And it really isn't fair to call it quitting. People move on to new/different things in all phases of life and it is not quitting the way giving up or avoiding a challenge is quitting. Many people thrive on exploration and change. Embrace it, but remember you can always go back.

Good luck and give yourself a hug. You sound stressed by all of this.

 

[Flipomaniak]

I have had athletes in your position... The feeling of being hopeless & confused causes a lot of anxiety. You become more critical of your skills & the definition of a "successful" workout. The more unsuccessful you feel, the more you spiral out of control with your emotions.

I have had luck with having open conversations with these athletes that were in similar circumstances as you. Most moved on with their careers. 1 athlete knew she was going to commit for 1 last season. She gave herself goals and as a level 9, had an undefeated season on floor- ending with being westerns champ!

I suggest:

1. Speaking to your coach honestly. They are there to not only help you physically, but also mentally through this sport.

2. Possibly cut back a day of workout for a month. Allowing for a little down time- simply to get homework done and getting to bed at a decent hour may do a lot for your psyche. A rested mind can definitely be beneficial to a more successful attitude = more successful workout. Things simply may feel easier.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others/ thinking you aren't meeting expectations. The only expectation that matters is yours! Take each day at a time. Keep a journal and write down 3 positive things from your workout. At first it may simply be that you didn't rip or You enjoyed a conversation with a teammate. Eventually, (1-2 months) hopefully you will notice that you will write more about your skills or performances. If not... Then the outcome of this awesome gymnastics career may become more clear.

4. I always tell my kids... Don't retire from gym before trying another gym. It could simply be a change of pace/atmosphere that can bring you back to life. Yes, I will be sad to know that your career can't/won't continue with me. BUT it is SO much more important to me that you continue to love this sport. So... Maybe try another club?

5. Gymnasts tend to fall into other sports quite easily. Don't stress over what you will do without gym- if that is the decision in the end.

6. Talk to an athlete in NCAA gymnastics. Ask about the pros & cons. Team life is so different than club life. What you think you can't handle now, may only be for a (relatively) short time... To reach a truly awesome reward- NCAA gymnastics!

7. If you simply can't imagine life without gym- you aren't done.
If you cry thinking about not doing gym- you aren't done.
If you know deep inside, if it felt easy you would not be thinking about giving up gym- you aren't done.

The simple fact that you have been working your way thorough this the last 6 months tells me there is still something there. Be sure to be open & start with a conversation. You owe yourself & your coaching staff that.

Best wishes to you.

Thank you, we do 30 hours a week and I want to cut back. My parents have suggested going to a different gym that does like 24. I do compare myself, and I do have a lot of anxiety...

 

[cbone]

If you were my daughter, I'd ask if you felt you could get a scholarship. If you could, I'd encourage you to keep going and turn your hard work over the years into a free education. If not, I would tell you to make a value decision. At our gym graduating L10s get honored at our year-end banquet and the little ones really look up to graduating 10s. It would come down to a question of how important finishing high school as a gymnast and setting the example for the younger ones that look up to you is. If that didn't matter, I'd encourage you to walk away with a smile. If it does matter, I'd encourage you to fight on.

 

[Redford]

Oh dear, this is a tough situaion. To me it sounds like you are ready for a break. In the end it is your decision and yours alone. But I will give you some facts to think about:

-Gymnastics is a sport that relies a lot on physical ability. But it relies even more on your mental and emotional position. I can promise you, that taking a break of a few months or weeks will either make you miss gymnastics desperatly or you will have that deep, burning feeling of not wanting to go back. If you feel that, you are really ready to move on. However, if you go back with a tummy full of fresh motivation, you will reach far more than if you would have stayed and fought through it.

-Think about what gymnastics means to you. All those years, why did you spend your summers in the gym? Why did you keep going, although you were covered in sweat and your hands were bloody? Why did you try again and again? Was it all just for reaching NCAA?
I bet not. I bet it was also for the sake of twisting and flying and sticking. And if it was, it was all worth it.
Some clever person once said: "It is not about reaching your goal, it's about getting there." And girl, it' not about achieving NCAA, it's about all the things you've achieved along the way. They made you to the strong and beautiful person you are today.

-And last but not least, moving on doesn't mean you are quitting the sport forever. You can always come back, as a gymnast or a coach. You have a lot of experience to share.
I quit gymnastics when I was 12 and did not put foot into the gym for 5 YEARS. Now at age 19 I'm back in the gym as a gymnast and as a coach and I'm so much happier than I was back than. I did not regret quitting. Never. I needed those 5 years to realize what I love about the sport.

Take your time. I'm sure whatever decision you wille make, it will be the right one for you.

 

[Luvs2coach]

Thank you, we do 30 hours a week and I want to cut back. My parents have suggested going to a different gym that does like 24. I do compare myself, and I do have a lot of anxiety...

Start with a conversation with your coach. Get everyone on the same page- YOURS! Hopefully they will be willing to work with you and allow a day off. Having this day will allow you to feel a little "free" time.

If after the conversation, they are unwilling to allow you some time to sort things, (hopefully not) then I do encourage you to look in to other gyms BEFORE leaving the sport.

Your mental game is off. This is why you are struggling and comparing yourself. It could've began with something physical, but now it is most likely mental & emotional. Working on that aspect will significantly change how you perform.

If you are nervous about speaking to your coach, you can always write a letter. Sometimes it is a good way to get your thoughts out there and then the coach can lead the conversation and ask you additional questions.

I know you may feel you have the "I don't know" type answers to some questions. Try NOT to answer them that way. Say what you feel. Coaches can help more the more we know.

Hang in there & I hope you can set up a meeting ASAP. Meanwhile- don't compare yourself to anyone. Go in to gym today and choose one thing on one event that you are going to do better on today- put more effort in today- allow it to be something you KNOW you will be successful doing. A small goal. See how it feels when you just evaluate yourself on that one aspect of the day's workout.

Gymnastics is a building block of small steps... Take 1 small step today.

 

[Natasha]

If you were my daughter, I'd ask if you felt you could get a scholarship. If you could, I'd encourage you to keep going and turn your hard work over the years into a free education. If not, I would tell you to make a value decision. At our gym graduating L10s get honored at our year-end banquet and the little ones really look up to graduating 10s. It would come down to a question of how important finishing high school as a gymnast and setting the example for the younger ones that look up to you is. If that didn't matter, I'd encourage you to walk away with a smile. If it does matter, I'd encourage you to fight on.

I have to disagree with this. If you were my kid I would tell you to take the pressure/thought of college scholarship out of the equation. And do not worry about any perceived example to younger kids. Luvs2Coach gave you some great advice. If, after you have taken all the steps she suggested either you will know that you want to stick it out or not. But your decision needs to be about what is best for YOU. So, after you have tried everything, if there is still no joy in gym, then move on to the next thing with your head held high, knowing that you gave it your all, you did what you could to make sure you really were done. At that point your motivation cannot be to stick with it because younger kids look up to them- staying in a sport you dread is not setting an example, but having the courage to move on and do what is best for you is an example. As far as the "free" education- it will not be free- it will be dependent on you doing gymnastics in college. Now, you may find that gymnastics on a college team is lots of fun and completely different than what you experience now, but if you are miserable, it may not be worth it.

 

[cbone]

GTM, I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree. To point out that a scholarship would require doing gymnastics is correct, but I think an important life lesson gets missed. Unless you have parents who are willing and able to pay for all of your college , you're going to have to put in work for your education. That can come in the form of sacrificing after you are out of school by paying student loans. That can come by working your way through school. That can come from meeting the requirements of an offered scholarship. If you think four years of gymnastics is soul crushing, try four years of waiting tables.

To my point about setting the example, I said that was a value decision. What is important to you? For my family, we place a high value on our obligation to our teams. Setting an example for younger teammates would certainly warrant consideration in my family as part of our value system.

To the OP- it's really about what works for you and your family. Every single bit of advice (mine included) is an opinion that will ultimately be trumped by your and your family's values and needs. Good luck!

 

[bookworm]

GTM, I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree. To point out that a scholarship would require doing gymnastics is correct, but I think an important life lesson gets missed. Unless you have parents who are willing and able to pay for all of your college , you're going to have to put in work for your education. That can come in the form of sacrificing after you are out of school by paying student loans. That can come by working your way through school. That can come from meeting the requirements of an offered scholarship. If you think four years of gymnastics is soul crushing, try four years of waiting tables.

To my point about setting the example, I said that was a value decision. What is important to you? For my family, we place a high value on our obligation to our teams. Setting an example for younger teammates would certainly warrant consideration in my family as part of our value system.

To the OP- it's really about what works for you and your family. Every single bit of advice (mine included) is an opinion that will ultimately be trumped by your and your family's values and needs. Good luck!

I have to agree with GTM...to put the pressure on the OP to stay because she may get a scholarship is unfair...being on a college team is fun but it is a TON of work in many different ways , and the pressure of doing the sport to relieve your parents of a financial burden to educate you can be daunting. Think of it this way, you're 15, do you want to stay in the sport (doing it) another SEVEN years (which would take you thru college) ? If the answer is negative, then cut your losses and move on. There's no shame in leaving this sport or any other , you gave it your best and it just might have run its course...

I also agree with GTM that this decision needs to be made in the context of what's best for the OP...not her parents and their financial interests or the other little kids who look up to the 10s . She 's not considering robbing a bank, she's just considering stopping gymnastics ...and that's how it needs to be seen as....