Parents In between levels- where to place?

[MeetDirector]

And now upon telling our old gym that my daughter isn't happy in the L2 class and we're going to be leaving they are going to talk and see about moving her to L3. I'm going to sleep on this... need to clear my head.

Lilou -

Please don't fall for this attempt to placate you. Your current gym hs shown you their true colors and now that they realize you are serious they want to keep a money paying customer. Don't go for it; you have found a new gym now take your money and go someplace that sees the ability your dd has.

Good luck.

 

[Lilou]

Agreed. I had a moment of confusion but I think you are all correct, too little too late. She needs her gymnastics to be fostered elsewhere. After all of this, I want to stay put for a long while.

 

[triplethreat+1]

So happy to hear you found a place that seems to have the right balance of intensity and keeping your daughter progressing and happy!

 

[duyetanh]

And now upon telling our old gym that my daughter isn't happy in the L2 class and we're going to be leaving they are going to talk and see about moving her to L3. I'm going to sleep on this... need to clear my head.

They are b.s.ing you. Get out. Quick.

 

[RosellaJam]

From what I remember (please correct me if I'm wrong) but they already knew your DD wanted to be in the l3 group. They had the opportunity already to move her to l3 and had decided to leave her at l2, so what will have changed in your DD's skills for them to consider moving her now? Answer is nothing, so this just screams out that they don't want to lose out on the fees you pay.

Just remember how positive you felt about the new gym you found and stop letting the old gym play mind games with you and your DD.

 

[RosellaJam]

Sorry, that was a bit harsher than I intended. I have a similar situation playing out in my extended family at the moment and their old gym keeps promising the world and then not following through with it. It's all about the money for them.

Good luck with the switch. I know it's not easy.

 

[e'smum]

i hope you are happy in her new gym. the issues you are having at the old gym will remain. maybe they do move her up but decide to keep her in lvl3 another year when she is ready for level 4. you won't trust them that it's the right decision and you'll be unhappy again.
just move. sometimes a new change of scenery is best anyway.

 

[Lilou]

Update: The gym I thought I wanted to switch to isn't so convincing anymore. We watched a class yesterday (no trial classes allowed) and I was not impressed with what I saw. I could explain a lot about that but the coaches just sat on the side and let kids do things, were not hands on (and I was not impressed with the L3 form compared to where we are now). So, I'm no longer convinced we should move there. The uber competitive gym only has hours that are too difficult for us to make right now. And our current gym FINALLY gave me details why they didn't move my child to L3 to start- her attitude isn't consistent. One day she gives it 100% and the next she's at 25%. She needs to try every practice. They said she can do all of the skills but she needs to adjust her attitude and effort. So they said if in two weeks she can show consistent effort then they'll give her a two week trial in L3. If this goes well, then she can stay in L3. I really love the coaching at L3/4 and see how it's superior to the other gym we visited before so I'd like her to have that coaching (but definitely not L2 coaching at our gym again). My daughter absolutely wants to do L3 no matter what gym that means she competes L3 for. I kind of feel like we're back to square one again.
(This gym thing is pretty tough finding the right place... I may be over-thinking it but I'm a bit lost right now.)

 

[suebee]

That is tough. I'm glad they finally explained to you the issue - but I also think that they could have told you this before.

I know that although dd's gym competes levels 1-3, most people feel that "team" officially starts at level 4. The reason is that the same coaches coach levels 1-3, and levels 1-3 are sort of separate. I think the head coach probably very loosely oversees levels 1-3, but much more tightly oversees levels 4 and up, and these levels warm up and condition together, so there is more of a team type feeling, even among different levels. Your gym might be similar between level 2 and level 3. So poor coaching at level 1 and 2 may not be reflective of the rest of the coaches or even the gym philosophy.

I also think that for some younger kids, it's easier to give your 100% if you're interested and challenged. I would imagine it is hard for *any* young level 2 who is bored in level 2 to give it 100% effort 100% of the time. I personally don't like how they said she needs to give 100% effort in level 2 first for 2 weeks before a 2 week trial of level 3. Why not just see what her effort is like during the 2 week trial of level 3? Is that something you would feel comfortable proposing to them?

It sounds like the other 2 gyms are out for other reasons.

 

[gymcat]

I don't like the fact that your gym is basically making you commit to their gym with no guarantees. I'm assuming you can't put the other gyms off for a month while your gym spends two weeks deciding if they should give your dd a shot and two more weeks deciding if it's permanent.

I think you should strongly consider moving your daughter because I think there is a reasonable chance things will not turn out well at your current gym.

 

[Lilou]

The head coach said she won't move her until she shows consistent effort in 2 first. I'm a little annoyed still though because she was 6 and just 7 now, nothing is super consistent at that age. The L3 coach was really tough with my daughter in a lesson yesterday.
I may just move her anyway instead of gambling. Or we could gamble and move gyms in a month if she doesn't stay on L3 here. If that's even possible in September.
It's really just a year and like people said, still technically developmental not L4 yet.

That is tough. I'm glad they finally explained to you the issue - but I also think that they could have told you this before.

I know that although dd's gym competes levels 1-3, most people feel that "team" officially starts at level 4. The reason is that the same coaches coach levels 1-3, and levels 1-3 are sort of separate. I think the head coach probably very loosely oversees levels 1-3, but much more tightly oversees levels 4 and up, and these levels warm up and condition together, so there is more of a team type feeling, even among different levels. Your gym might be similar between level 2 and level 3. So poor coaching at level 1 and 2 may not be reflective of the rest of the coaches or even the gym philosophy.

I also think that for some younger kids, it's easier to give your 100% if you're interested and challenged. I would imagine it is hard for *any* young level 2 who is bored in level 2 to give it 100% effort 100% of the time. I personally don't like how they said she needs to give 100% effort in level 2 first for 2 weeks before a 2 week trial of level 3. Why not just see what her effort is like during the 2 week trial of level 3? Is that something you would feel comfortable proposing to them?

It sounds like the other 2 gyms are out for other reasons.

 

[MuggleMom]

I agree its good they finally gave you a reason but they should have been able to do that upfront. It doesn't pass the sniff test for me that they didn't give you what you want or communicate with you till you threatened to leave. At our gym if you say well I am leaving cause DD isn't on a certain level or in a certain time slot they wish you luck...which I think is a good thing it helps you know where you stand there (this makes it sound like you are threatening to leave to get what you want and I know that is not the case so sorry about the awkwardness of the wording). You don't want to have to threaten to leave every time you need a straight answer or to get the ball rolling with changes.

I would almost want to ask why you weren't told about her attitude when you first brought up moving up with them. That seems like a valid question to me.

 

[Lilou]

Agreed! Huge communication issues at this gym. They never even announced the new coach was leaving. The coach disappeared one day. Its so tough because the coaching at my current gym is superior so if she could be here st that level I'd want her to stay. Otherwise I'd move her to the other place so she could do L3. Not sued if moving in September is too late.

I agree its good they finally gave you a reason but they should have been able to do that upfront. It doesn't pass the sniff test for me that they didn't give you what you want or communicate with you till you threatened to leave. At our gym if you say well I am leaving cause DD isn't on a certain level or in a certain time slot they wish you luck...which I think is a good thing it helps you know where you stand there (this makes it sound like you are threatening to leave to get what you want and I know that is not the case so sorry about the awkwardness of the wording). You don't want to have to threaten to leave every time you need a straight answer or to get the ball rolling with changes.

I would almost want to ask why you weren't told about her attitude when you first brought up moving up with them. That seems like a valid question to me.

 

[suebee]

I agree that I do not like what your current gym is doing.

I think you have to compare the other gym's L3 to your gym's L2, since that is what you've definitely been offered at current gym. I know you're comparing other gym L3 to L3 at current gym, but you don't know for sure that L3 at current gym for this year is even an option. Or compare L3 at other gym compared to L3 at current gym for next year - but realize also that coaches can move on, current gym may still find reasons not to move your dd up, especially if one reason is work ethic and that is something that may not improve if she continues to be bored and unhappy and not coached well in L2 at current gym.

Is there no way you can make the schedule work at the competitive gym?

 

[MILgymFAM]

Maybe it's all shading and perspective and the limits of print, but your gym comes off really shady here. They won't move her up, they will, they *maybe* will. They're all over the place, saying whatever they think is the minimum to keep you there. If your girl has such a work ethic/motivation issue then why (1) haven't you known about it for awhile now (2) why didn't they mention that when offering to move her up to keep you (before dropping that back to maybe move her up for a trial). I would be making lists of pros and cons for the other two gyms and making the best choice I could between those two.

 

[Lilou]

Thank you all (again)! I can't believe how roundabout this all has become. I'm not sure if my gym is a shady as it sounds (could be the way I'm phrasing things, or they really could be I suppose!) I don't have any place else to compare to really on a long term basis. I don't know why they never mentioned her lack of consistent effort before. I too feel like this should have been brought up many months ago if it was a real issue. We've since talked to our daughter and she says she's just so bored. If she were in L3 I think the challenge would be there and she's try harder and be more focused since she knows she'd have to work on skills, form more, etc... She knows what's on the line now and is giving great effort in each class now. The coach agreed that she can do all of the L2 skills well enough, and nearly all L3 skills to be able to move forward. Super frustrating!

Unfortunately we really can't make the very competitive gym hours work since they start before my daughter gets out of school. I'm on a wait list for more regular hours.

If my DD can stay in L3 at our current gym, I'd like to stay. If not, then I'd move her. Timing is getting tight though and with our current gym's timing we won't know until mid-September if she'll stay in L3 or not. Not sure if moving in September is too late.

 

[gymbeam]

I feel for you. I remember all the anxiety I had over making a decision to switch gyms. There are so many factors to consider!

To play devil's advocate, it could be argued that your current gym simply thought another year of maturing would bring her greater success in the long term.

Do you know if current gym is rigid in girls only moving a level at a time? Or do you have girls who sometimes skip levels or move up mid season? (I'm talking more about your Level 4/5 and Optionals than at the stage you're at now.)

If it's the latter, then perhaps they do look at each kid individually and don't try to fit everyone in the same box. That can be a good thing if done well. Time to mature now may not necessarily end up putting her "behind". She could end up skipping a level later and "catching right back up".

Do you also have Xcel at your gym? I ask because we do have both and if a girl in JO ends up not being a good fit, they are given the suggestion of Xcel. If they are given the suggestion of repeating JO, it means the coaches still see the long-term potential, but think it's in the athlete's best interest to work on some things before moving on. Any chance your gym operates the same way and that might give you a little confidence they haven't just "given up on her"?

 

[Randomactsofcheer]

Honestly, it sounds like your gym doesn't intend to move your daughter to level 3 for the year. How did they expect your DD to fix a problem they had with her if she (and you) had no idea it was a problem to begin with? If they were sincerely going to move her to level 3, they would move her now and give her two weeks to prove herself at that level, especially if she already has the skills and is bored in level 2. It sounds an awful lot like they created an excuse when you told them she was leaving. And if her effort and attitude has been a problem all along, it is a huge issue they are just now telling you (and your DD about it). In my opinion, an ongoing problem that begins to prevent a gymnast from progressing forward needs to be addressed with them. Most of the time, younger gymnasts aren't even aware there is a problem. While you aren't sure if switching gyms in September will be too late, I have a feeling your current gyms knows that it will be difficult for your DD to switch gyms in September. The "inconsistent effort" excuse sounds like their way of keeping you on the hook for another month until it is too late to switch. Why else would this be brought up now?

Thank you all (again)! I can't believe how roundabout this all has become. I'm not sure if my gym is a shady as it sounds (could be the way I'm phrasing things, or they really could be I suppose!) I don't have any place else to compare to really on a long term basis. I don't know why they never mentioned her lack of consistent effort before. I too feel like this should have been brought up many months ago if it was a real issue. We've since talked to our daughter and she says she's just so bored. If she were in L3 I think the challenge would be there and she's try harder and be more focused since she knows she'd have to work on skills, form more, etc... She knows what's on the line now and is giving great effort in each class now. The coach agreed that she can do all of the L2 skills well enough, and nearly all L3 skills to be able to move forward. Super frustrating!

Unfortunately we really can't make the very competitive gym hours work since they start before my daughter gets out of school. I'm on a wait list for more regular hours.

If my DD can stay in L3 at our current gym, I'd like to stay. If not, then I'd move her. Timing is getting tight though and with our current gym's timing we won't know until mid-September if she'll stay in L3 or not. Not sure if moving in September is too late.

 

[CLgym]

Just to share a slightly different perspective: When you come to a fork in the road, you make the best decision you can with the information you have. There is usually not just one correct answer, and there will almost always be future opportunities to choose a different path if you want.

If staying at the current gym to see how it goes feels like the best choice for your family right now, that's totally OK (even if that means Level 2 for some or all of the next season). In our case, my DD (age 6 at the time) was pushed from pre-team into Xcel. To make it worse, she had received a JO offer only to have it rescinded several weeks later with no clear explanation. The advice from chalk bucket was, across the board, to change gyms. However, with the options and information available to me at the time, I made the decision to stay and give Xcel a try. DD competed one year of Xcel Bronze at age 7. It was a success. We moved gyms after that Xcel Bronze season, and DD competed L4 at age 8 (also successfully). My DD was never gonna be on any kind of elite/fast track.... so taking a year in Xcel to figure things will have no long-lasting, negative consequences.

Make the best decision for your family right now. You can always make a different choice in the future (whether that's in September or a year from now). Good luck.

 

[Lilou]

Our gym will allow gymnasts to skip a level. They do not move mid season. We have Xcel, but my daughter is not interested in it. I do think she does better with the structured nature of JO (but I had thought about Xcel). She does need to mature though but that's only because she's a new 7. Unfortunately our gym isn't uptraining during the year though so if she stays L2 again, she'll be bored just doing L2 moves all year.

I feel for you. I remember all the anxiety I had over making a decision to switch gyms. There are so many factors to consider!

To play devil's advocate, it could be argued that your current gym simply thought another year of maturing would bring her greater success in the long term.

Do you know if current gym is rigid in girls only moving a level at a time? Or do you have girls who sometimes skip levels or move up mid season? (I'm talking more about your Level 4/5 and Optionals than at the stage you're at now.)

If it's the latter, then perhaps they do look at each kid individually and don't try to fit everyone in the same box. That can be a good thing if done well. Time to mature now may not necessarily end up putting her "behind". She could end up skipping a level later and "catching right back up".

Do you also have Xcel at your gym? I ask because we do have both and if a girl in JO ends up not being a good fit, they are given the suggestion of Xcel. If they are given the suggestion of repeating JO, it means the coaches still see the long-term potential, but think it's in the athlete's best interest to work on some things before moving on. Any chance your gym operates the same way and that might give you a little confidence they haven't just "given up on her"?