WAG Inconsistent Bars are making me crazy!!!!

[munchkin3]

DD has some really kick butt L4 bars, straight arm kip, really powerful, nice cast to hollow horizontal. Her long hang kip is straight and to horizontal too, decent swings, a bit of work needed on the half turn.....she is working on casting to above horizontal and keeping really hollow and tight.

This is on a good day.....on a bad day, they are like beginner bars. Just awful....

She had a meet a few weeks ago and seriously botched her bars....fell twice, cried.....etc,

I keep telling myself not to worry, that it is perfectly normal to have good day, and bad days and this is a hard sport, and it takes time to develop the consistency....I know BUT I can't help but feel so anxious for the next meet!!!!!!!
Her coach says the same thing. If she could only be more consistent on bars!

I think what I need to do is:
Not go to watch practice.
Stop caring.....not in a bad way, but rather, tell myself I don't care how she places.
Any thoughts?

 

[kayjaybe]

You just need to take your own wonderful advice you gave me on my thread.

I completely understand. The funny thing with my dd is that her "weak" event has changed each of the 3 years she competed. Old L5, it was definitely vault. Old L6 & new L5, that was one of her best events.

This past year, she actually was most consistent on floor, and that has always been a middle of the road event.

She'll get her bars consistent....and then something else will be less consistent. That just seems to be the way of this sport.

Just keep being there for her and focus on the areas where she is excelling and give her hugs for areas where she is struggling.

You and I will get through this together!

 

[Firefly]

Ugh. I'm in the exact same boat. My L4 has days when her bars are spot on, and days when her back hip circle is practically bent in half and her legs are apart on every single skill. It's maddening. For us it's especially challenging because bars is her "thing". She struggles with vault and floor but has always been able to rely on bars. We haven't started competing this season yet, and I'm worried that if bars doesn't come together by the time we do she's going to be super discouraged.
I'm not watching or asking about it for now. She has great coaches who I trust completely and hopefully they will help her figure out what's going on when she's "off".
I do care, though, how she scores and places. Because she cares. A lot.
I just hope it starts to click in the next few weeks.
Good luck to both of us!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Yea, get out of the gym. Nervous mom equals nervous child equals inconsistent performance and slowed progression. Sorry folks but your children do better when you are not in the gym. I mean that in the kindest way.

 

[lovemygymnast]

It is so tough to watch them, knowing how well they CAN do but don't. All we can do is watch & cheer & be supportive either way. I agree though, so hard to watch...

 

[JMACAZ]

Same issues here with kips, squat ons and tap swings. I have stopped watching and when she says she did bars at practice I just say "great, did you have fun" Figure I will see how it all worked out at her first mock meet.....(Sometimes I do ask a friend who watches how she looks though

 

[MeetDirector]

I have said it before on here and I will keep saying it (now with a L10 dd), learn to trust the coaches and stay away from practice. You also have to develop the trust in your dd that this is her sport and that there will be bumps along the way that will push her to the limits; your job is to be the cheerleader and the shoulder to cry on. Skills come when they come; a parent cannot make them come any faster or return after they have departed.

Good luck and hang in there.

 

[hearts_and_stars]

Yea, get out of the gym. Nervous mom equals nervous child equals inconsistent performance and slowed progression. Sorry folks but your children do better when you are not in the gym. I mean that in the kindest way.

DD actually does better when I'm in the gym...not necessarily watching her, just being there. We are fortunate enough to have a gym that has telescopic seating, so I can scuttle upstairs and get some work done will keeping one eye on her and practice. If it is something super important that she (or HC) wants me to see, HC will text me to watch her next couple of turns....This usually happens when she has a breakthrough, or gets a new skill, or something of that nature. Otherwise, I'm up in my hidey-hole with all my work and only glance up every now and again.

I'm sure, though, that if I did watch practice with hawkish eyes I, too, would be very stressed out. Sometimes it's less about consistency (even though that is probably the most important thing for the sport) and about DD's attitude and work ethic on that particular day. We have a kid in the gym who is amazing at meets but coasts at practice, believing she'll be able to pull it out at a meet. HC constantly tells her that that will only work to a point; she will hit a level where she will not be able to do that and it's going to set her back as she will likely have to repeat that level. Unfortunately, that's one of those reality-is-the-best-teacher issues...

 

[munchkin3]

You just need to take your own wonderful advice you gave me on my thread.

I completely understand. The funny thing with my dd is that her "weak" event has changed each of the 3 years she competed. Old L5, it was definitely vault. Old L6 & new L5, that was one of her best events.

This past year, she actually was most consistent on floor, and that has always been a middle of the road event.

She'll get her bars consistent....and then something else will be less consistent. That just seems to be the way of this sport.

Just keep being there for her and focus on the areas where she is excelling and give her hugs for areas where she is struggling.

You and I will get through this together!

Thanks, you are right! Advice is easier given than taken!!!!

CoachP, I agree with you. A few weeks ago, my 'little girl' very sweetly told me that she didn't want me in the gym anymore. She clarified that she loves me there watching her, but she hates me being there.....makes sense right??? LOL she even said it would be great if I could come in a disguise, so I could watch, but then she would not know I'm there!!!!!

Seriously, I was so glad to agree on me staying for only one practice per week, mostly because Friday we get ice cream after practice so I get to pay....but she does MUCH better without me there and so do I. I am much less stressed and worried about skills and meet....I am very proud of my young lady. She is remarkable in many ways.....we were both ready to let go a bit.

 

[kayjaybe]

Ah yes....not being there is definitely helpful. We aren't allowed to stay for practices, so that helped me a ton. From my vent thread, I see her once/week at her private and then for about 10-15 minutes after practice when one of the coaches has offered to stay to help those girls on bars that need some extra assistance. I'm never sure if she might change her mind about staying, so I get there regular time to pick her up in case she wants to go. But now I'm thinking maybe I should try to NOT be there during that time.

 

[munchkin3]

When I'm NOT there, the usual after practice talk is, 'how was practice??' Answer, 'great!'.
That's it......

 

[kayjaybe]

When I'm NOT there, the usual after practice talk is, 'how was practice??' Answer, 'great!'.
That's it......

Hey, be happy with the "great!" For pretty much a full year, I'd get a "terrible" or "meh." I was thrilled with an "OK."

So if she feels great about her practice, cherish and trust that!

 

[munchkin3]

Absolutely!!!! I'll take it.
Thank you......CGM moment averted.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

DD actually does better when I'm in the gym...not necessarily watching her, just being there. We are fortunate enough to have a gym that has telescopic seating, so I can scuttle upstairs and get some work done will keeping one eye on her and practice. If it is something super important that she (or HC) wants me to see, HC will text me to watch her next couple of turns....This usually happens when she has a breakthrough, or gets a new skill, or something of that nature. Otherwise, I'm up in my hidey-hole with all my work and only glance up every now and again.

I'm sure, though, that if I did watch practice with hawkish eyes I, too, would be very stressed out. Sometimes it's less about consistency (even though that is probably the most important thing for the sport) and about DD's attitude and work ethic on that particular day. We have a kid in the gym who is amazing at meets but coasts at practice, believing she'll be able to pull it out at a meet. HC constantly tells her that that will only work to a point; she will hit a level where she will not be able to do that and it's going to set her back as she will likely have to repeat that level. Unfortunately, that's one of those reality-is-the-best-teacher issues...

If this is the case, (which you will not know because it sounds like you are always in the gym, and staying out means a duration not individual workout) then it sounds like your DD is dependent on you. Ultimately an independent athlete progresses further than a dependent one, Think about it. I mean that in the kindest way.

 

[Mimiluv]

I am a coach and a mom. I hate watching my daughter practice lol. I tended to nitpick at her after I did watch. So I stay away as much as I can. I actually like it because at the meets I am always so impressed and notice how much better she has gotten, where if I watched all the time I didn't notice as much improvement. Kind of like when you see your kids everyday you don't notice how much they've grown, but people who don't see them all the time do. I don't know if that makes sense or not.

Hang in there.

Angela

 

[z2akids]

We have a gym mom who stays every practice. She is often very frustrated because she does not see progress as well as she would if she didn't stay so often. She gets her CGM on as well because she counts how many turns the girls get; who was praised; who got a skill before her DD, etc. Her DD looks to the patent area for approval all the time. The mom motions directions to her. Generally, her DD would be way better off if she would just get out of the gym. When her skills improved, she would see the results rather than the day to day inconsistencies, etc.

And, mom would be happier because she would not worry from day to day about the skills, the other girls, etc.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

We have a gym mom who stays every practice. She is often very frustrated because she does not see progress as well as she would if she didn't stay so often. She gets her CGM on as well because she counts how many turns the girls get; who was praised; who got a skill before her DD, etc. Her DD looks to the patent area for approval all the time. The mom motions directions to her. Generally, her DD would be way better off if she would just get out of the gym. When her skills improved, she would see the results rather than the day to day inconsistencies, etc.

And, mom would be happier because she would not worry from day to day about the skills, the other girls, etc.

The child will quit in a few years... Guaranteed

 

[cbifoja]

Hey, be happy with the "great!" For pretty much a full year, I'd get a "terrible" or "meh." I was thrilled with an "OK."

So if she feels great about her practice, cherish and trust that!

Yes, some days I'd be quite happy with a "great".

Instead I get...."Sally did her vault. But she landed crooked and Ms. X said that she had to go do it again. And then I got in trouble because of how I was doing my skin the cats. Oh, can we get a cat? I really want a cat and I would take care of it. Coach Y said we need to take care of the bar area better. We are using too much chalk but I have to chalk up between every turn if we are doing giant routines but if we are just doing kip routines I can get 2 routines in for every chalk up. I don't think I use too much chalk. Do you think I use too much chalk? You know who uses too much tape? Susie! Susie tapes something up every single practice and she doesn't bring her own tape so she has to use the gym's tape. But Mr. K said I wasn't allowed to use the gym tape and I have to bring my own tape but I don't think that's fair because I NEVER get hurt. Do I, mom? Mom? MOM?!?!?!? I never get hurt, do I? I split the beam and get rips but that's not really being hurt. Being hurt is like how Katie was with her ankle and how she hurt it every two months. I got so tired of hearing about her ankle. I have a bug bite on my ankle. It's really itchy. I wanted to itch it during my floor routine but that's probably a deduction at a meet. Is it, mom? If you REALLY have an itch, is it a deduction if you scratch it? Maybe if you could make it look like it's part of your choreography, they it would only be about one tenth or so."

And this goes on for the ENTIRE. 30. MINUTES.

 

[Moxiegrl83]

^

 

[munchkin3]

Ooooo I love the extended stories! I try and listen to all of it! well Susie cut in the line because Mary was taking too long in the chalk and yadda yadda........I know I will miss it big time one day.

It is a good thing NOT to be there. I stay for 20 minutes in the beginning, and then leave. My husband picks up.
Coach was very happy to hear that DD doesn't want/need me there anymore.

Anyway, DD said that when the bars are at the correct setting, she rocks her routine. I have only asked her to try and memorize her setting, but it's harder than it seems. It's not vault. The bar has to be at a certain height, then the springboard at a certain distance, then the bars have to be spaced correctly. Of course, her setting has GOT to be different than everyone else's!!!!