Parents Is this a conflict of interest?

[Greyhound]

There is a "crazy gym mom" who drives her daughter hard. She wants her to be on top, and wants lots of attention for her. She brown noses the HC. Personally, I have never had a problem with her, but she is not very friendly. Recently, she became a conditioning coach at the gym and is training girls on the same level as her daughter as well as others. I have no idea who initiated that arrangement. I do not believe she has any fitness training certification nor credentials other than being a strong, non-professional athlete (I looked into it). Her lack of "professional" qualification concerns me, but I also think this is a conflict of interest. Why should a team member's parent be any kind of a coach? I get having a desk job, but I don't think a parent should be on the floor. Thoughts?

 

[cbifoja]

We have a parent/coach who at times conditions the girls. I love it because she is a badass and works the girls in novel ways. She also coaches kids the same age/level as her kids who compete for our gym. Of course, she is an actual fitness trainer and a certified coach, so not exactly the same but I don't know that even in your situation I would consider it a conflict of interest.

 

[raenndrops]

Our HC is the mother of a team gymnast (she was the HC even before her daughter was on team).
We have other coaches with girls on team.
To me, it's no different than my dad coaching my baseball team when I was a kid (he started as an assistant coach, but my last two years, he was my head coach).

No real conflict. As long as the conditioning is safe, it's fine, IMHO.

 

[rd7]

In the UK if you took away all the parent coaches you'd lose 50% of the work force - lol.

And a lot of them are volunteers and don't get paid very much at all. However we are all qualified or working towards qualification as we have to be over here.

No conflict if the adults are behaving professionally.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I don't believe it's a conflict at all. Every gym my girls have been a part of has had parents coaching on some level. Whether or not this parent is qualified is a different story, and I don't know.

 

[mom2newgymnast]

My dd's gym also has several parents on the coaching staff. I was a little surprised at first when one of dd's teammates mom suddenly became a team coach, but it's been fine (and she was qualified). Another mom became a preteam coach, although that wasn't her exact background. Everyone seems happy with it. It seems to be quite normal here. We did have 2 coaches leave within the last year that had dd's on the team. Obviously the coach and child left together to go to another gym, although I don't know the exact reasons.

 

[Gymmommy71]

That would annoy me personally because of the personality profile of this mom. I don't like it when parents who weren't coaches before their child became seriously involved in a sport suddenly decide that they want to coach the sport their child does at their gym - and when they are on the crazy competitive personality spectrum it's even more annoying.

My DD has had several coaches who were parents of gymnasts, etc., over the years - and they were all fine and never gave their daughters any preferential or special treatment that my DD or I could notice (if they would have we probably wouldn't have stayed in those situations for long). However, I would say that in every one of those cases those people were coaches of that sport BEFORE their child started to participate in it, and none of them were the type that needed their kid to be "the star" to be happy (I think we all know that type ;(). Some gyms w/ parent coaches even went to the extent of making sure that the parent never coached their child directly (like parent had level 2 when their child was a 6 for ex.) to prevent even the appearance of impropriety.

The sport this mom did, it was not gymnastics I assume? If she moves beyond this "conditioning" role and starts coaching team(s) and inserting herself into situations where she could impact stuff like who's in what training group, who moves up and who repeats, who gets what choreographer/song for optional routines, etc. then that is cause for major concern IMO.

 

[profmom]

Unless it is having a direct impact on your child -- i.e., she is coaching your DD and you believe she is unqualified to do so -- I don't really see any reason to get fussed over it.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

I don't like it when parents who weren't coaches before their child became seriously involved in a sport suddenly decide that they want to coach the sport their child does at their gym

This I don't agree with, the majority of coaches I know got into a sport purely because their children were in it, and a lot of them went on to be very good coaches. When you spend so much time around a sport then its hard not to get involved.

Maybe its a cultural difference, most sports in the UK are run on a shoestring with a lot of parental help, and all coaches are required to be qualified, or working towards a qualification as @rd7 said.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

I also vehemently disagree with the statement that (paraphrasing) "no parent should be qualified to coach unless they were involved with the sport before their kid got into it".
I'm one of those parents. And guess what, I'm also a qualified, certified coach who is progressing in my coaching as my child is progressing in the sport. I did NOT have this as any sort of career before, although I have coached other sports and have been a teacher before. As I learn about the sport I develop as a coach and get into higher level things. I'm sure there are parents who sit on the sidelines and grumble in discontent about me not being qualified and several years ago that would have been true BUT I have learned and progressed and keep learning and keep progressing as a coach!! They don't necessarily know what courses I have taken or what qualifications I have updated....
No, I didn't do competitive gymnastics as a child or adult. No, I don't have an extensive background in gymnastics other than the past five-six years. That doesn't exclude me from eagerly learning about the sport and working my way up to working with the team girls as I am becoming qualified to..!
Yes, at this point, I am even helping with my own DDs group, but only overseeing conditioning and dance assignments. I'm not teaching them new skills, I'm simply a second set of eyes working on their HCs behalf.

Now, I will also say though that I am about as far from a CGM as one can get. I have complete and utter faith in my kids' coaches and I would never dream of interfering with their relationship with my child or their coaching. The only "advantage" me working there with these people get me is that I definitely can have more access to them for a quick chat if there's a concern about my child (which I try hard not to abuse) and every now and then I might have access to information slightly earlier than other parents simply because we confer with each other as coaches (I am the HC for the developmental team and often need to coordinate things with the other teams). That's it. I don't have any say in who goes where or does what, and I certainly don't have any sort of illusion that my DD should get any special treatment because of me, I think probably the opposite!

 

[gymjunkie]

I coach my daughter as well as her team. Pretty much every gym I know of has at least one coach doing the same. Some were coaches before their kids came along, some after. In the case you described, the mom might learn how to behave professionally now that she is an official coach (you can only hope!).

 

[UnoMas]

We have had several moms at our gym who coach. Some were coaches before their kids became gymmies, some became coaches after their kids started gym. I totally get what you are saying though about the CGM personality...and it is probably true that for this mom, more time at the gym is not necessarily a good thing. Not a conflict of interest though unless a parent coach shows preferential treatment for their child to the detriment of others.

 

[Gymmommy71]

I think there is a fine line between parent involvement and people who are trying to get their kid an extra advantage (the description the OP gave of this mother sounds like she's the type who would be looking for the latter). I've seen this stuff get out of hand in other activities more than once.

I also feel that suddenly deciding to become a coach of a sport that you've never been involved in or coached before in your life, at your child's place of training, perhaps coaching your child and her teammates, is the polar opposite of the "don't watch practice, let the the coaches do their job, don't coach your child" advice that is always given to new gym moms.

 

[duyetanh]

I don't see an issue with it, as long as she is being fair.

 

[AmandaLynn]

Can I just put this out there... I would rather teach kittens to do backhandsprings than coach my own child. Occasionally I have to step in with her group and I usually end up wanting to bash my head into a wall. That is all...

 

[duyetanh]

While I would rather eat horse manure than coach my own child, there are so many gyms out there that would not survive without that type of parental support. May I gently suggest (I mean this kindly) that it is who the parent is that causes the issue, which is very understandable? If it was another parent who was not such a brown nose and pusher of their child, would it still bother you?

 

[MBJ974]

Can I just put this out there... I would rather teach kittens to do backhandsprings than coach my own child. Occasionally I have to step in with her group and I usually end up wanting to bash my head into a wall. That is all...

This is hilarious because it is so true!!! I feel your pain

 

[mommyof1]

Can I just put this out there... I would rather teach kittens to do backhandsprings than coach my own child. Occasionally I have to step in with her group and I usually end up wanting to bash my head into a wall. That is all...

This times one million. We have paid a lot of money over the years to have other people teach our child various things that we are fully qualified to teach her ourselves (and, when we were younger, were paid to teach other children) simply because she will not take any coaching from us.

 

[raenndrops]

Can I just put this out there... I would rather teach kittens to do backhandsprings than coach my own child. Occasionally I have to step in with her group and I usually end up wanting to bash my head into a wall. That is all...

Our HCs daughter is learning giants - her mom can't watch, lol. Its too scary to watch her own daughter, but she can watch other girls work them.
As for me, i do whatever is asked of me. I do have a little influence on move ups (a VERY little - because I have all the stats from every meet and make recommendations based on those stats, effort, and attitude... HC looks at my recommendations, but then makes her own decisions

 

[Deleted member 14190]

There is a "crazy gym mom" who drives her daughter hard. She wants her to be on top, and wants lots of attention for her. She brown noses the HC. Personally, I have never had a problem with her, but she is not very friendly. Recently, she became a conditioning coach at the gym and is training girls on the same level as her daughter as well as others. I have no idea who initiated that arrangement. I do not believe she has any fitness training certification nor credentials other than being a strong, non-professional athlete (I looked into it). Her lack of "professional" qualification concerns me, but I also think this is a conflict of interest. Why should a team member's parent be any kind of a coach? I get having a desk job, but I don't think a parent should be on the floor. Thoughts?

Don't worry about any conflict of interest. The only person who will suffer and probably quit in 2 -3 years time will be her daughter.(if she is indeed pushing her daughter). Because,,,, lets say it together,,,, "kids progress faster and last longer without parental presence or pressure". Other than that I wouldn't worry about a thing, so long as she is doing a good job.