I don’t know what the optimal solution is in terms of college visits but fwiw, you keep bringing up your selfish reasons but you don’t sound selfish to me. You sound like a mom who wants your kid to be happy, and to enjoy the fruits of her labor, and like a mom who is simply trying to figure out how to enable her to do that. You may not be able to (figure it out), but don’t be so hard on yourself, Mama. This is hard enough as it is.