"This is exactly what is going on! They set the bars for an average girl and she has to work twice as hard! At the next Sectional, it will be my DD and 2 girls who are 12 yrs old and just under 5 feet tall. There is no way my DD can catch the bar at "their" setting! If I say something to the coach, I will get one of those "stop coaching you're a parent" looks..... "
I am sure it is difficult for you to watch you little one going through this - it is never easy to sit back and watch - especially when you think you may know what the prob is... I am curious to know do you have any other problems w/the coaching in your gym? You must trust them for you to allow your dd to train right - now there are truly some coaches that just use the trial and error method, I have witnessed some pretty bad coaching both on the rec and the comp side of gym, but hopefully the majority of we parents trust our coaches with our sweeties
& see that they usually provide the best outcome.
Now that said, could it be that your dd is still just a little intimidated by this jump? She is still teeny and may just need a little more time to feel 100% comfortable... however maybe the coaches feel she is quite capable of making the jump and want her to challenge herself - I have no idea if this is the case however it all goes back to trusting your dd's coaches... Your dd is still a young L5 and sounds like she is doing fantastic! She will get to that comfort level - it does come lol. My dd is also, ummm, a height challenged L5 LOL, and she was the LAST in her class to "catch" the high bar- which she has only been doing for the last couple of weeks (she could make the jump, but refused to do more than tap the high bar FOREVER LOL, slight exaggeration) after having her squat on for about a YEAR! lol. She is not quite 43" tall, and her coach has the bar setting on either a 4 or a 6 - I really have no idea which but my dd said it was one of those lol. When bar coach had her practicing initially he would set it to 0, 1 & 2 - and she was actually more terrified she would over jump with the lower setting.... she is not 100% in her comfort zone as of yet, but I trust her coach to get her there. He is the greatest bar coach out there IMO
My dd is also the smallest on her team, but the next smallest is a 9 yr old (about the size of your dd) and our tallest L5 (she has to be almost 5 ft) all use the exact same bar setting, but our coach must know what he is doing because our team always medals on bars w/great scores
... these little ones can be amazing - I think its fantastic your dd can "hang" with the big girls
... best of luck to you guys