WAG Level 5 Gym Switch?

[volleymom7]

I could use some input on my 10 y/o Level 5 daughter. She really enjoys gymnastics and wants to continue the sport but not at her current gym. Reasons include she knows she is not a favorite and bad behavior of some of the other girls during practice and meets. Her best friend who is a year younger had to be moved out of her training group and into another group because some of the girls were jealous and making fun of her. Switching groups may be possible for my daughter but not ideal. She is not happy at practice without her friend. She is struggling at level 5 receiving 31-32 but at her last meet scored a 34+ so is improving. She is also very hard-working and respectful and supports her teammates.

I do feel my daughter gets adequate training but is just not pushed very hard. She was actually told by her coach at her last meet not to worry about her beam score because it wouldn't count anyway. Not what we want to hear! My husband and I are also not very happy with the gym because we see the favoritism and we even had to push to have her coaches changed at one point because the coach refused to work with her at all. We didn't change sooner because my son used to be on team at the same gym but has now quit.

I contacted one of our top choices and was told to email the coach. I got a brief reply stating they have "no spots available". Is this possible or are the gyms going to be very particular about taking on a Level 5 gymnast? I didn't give any information about our daughter but I suppose the gym could look up our last name and local meet info to find out who she is and her scores. Any other tips for getting her into a new gym? There are several others in our area I can contact but maybe I am going about it wrong. Thanks for any help.

 

[AgingHippie]

How far into the season are you?

 

[volleymom7]

How far into the season are you?

We have had our state meet. There are 2 local meets left. Season is done in February. Some of the other gyms stop competing after State.

 

[CMA25]

Some gyms are very particular about who they accept in team, but they can be. Or it could be that the prospective gym called your gym and they decided she would not be a good fit for their team.

If you are willing to post where you live, I am sure that people would be willing to recommend gyms that would be a good fit for your daughter.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I would keep my name out of things until I narrowed down my choices. And I would contact everyone for basics, hours, booster or not, meets per year, how they handle move ups. What kind of meets, lots of travel or not. I would be looking up how they do on meet scores. I would inquire as to how many optionals they have, what level. Any kids getting rides at college. Price, payment schedule. Etc..... Then I would narrow down my choices.

So until I got basic information, I would reveal much about myself. I am interviewing them, not the other way around.

Then when I had enough information to know who I was actually considering I would get more specific and ask for a tryout/practice. And of course your daughter will have input.

At that point not only are you considering them, but they are also considering you, such is the nature of the beast.

 

[CMA25]

You might want to consider setting up a free generic email address that does not contain your name.

 

[gymgal]

There are gyms that maintain a specific number for each level and they won't add any gymnasts until someone quits or moves up. While uncommon, there are also gyms that won't even move up their own gymnasts until a spot opens at the next level. Higher caliber gyms may also have an specific age per level and consider your dd too old, particularly if she is not a phenom.

Another
reason could also be that the hc you emailed could be friends with your current coaches and do not want to get in the middle of it all, either coming to this on her own or after calling the current coaches.

 

[ascarter1]

Just depends on the gyms in your area. For example, our gym doesn't compete level 5 so someone like your dd would have to move up to 6 or compete excel. If you/your daughter are unhappy, set up a visit with gyms in your area. Just be prepared to hear good and bad. Keep an open mind and don't speak poorly of your current gym. That sets a bad tone. Best of luck to you guys!

 

[AgingHippie]

You are at the perfect part of the season to make a switch.

Doing research first is your best bet. A lot of gyms also require a minimum score for moves up so that would be important to know beforehand. Our gym would have your DD compete 4 for another year and maybe score out of 5 (at their minimum score) to go to 6 the following season but you would have to have that set up when you came.

It seems odd to me that the gym you contacted turned you away so quickly when they may not even know their numbers for the next season. Don't be discouraged, I think you will find other places will handle this differently.

Not giving too much personal information up front is a good plan and be positive about the gym you are leaving. Gymnastics is a small world, so the news you are looking may get out quick.

Good luck and keep us updated.

 

[volleymom7]

Thanks everyone for your input. I didn't mention my daughter's name in the email or the name of our gym (or talk badly about them just said we were looking for a change). I too was surprised we were turned away so quickly but it may be that they looked up the last name I used. I actually have a different last name from my daughter so I will enquire using only my own name from now on. I didn't think I had to be that concerned about the issue and I was just really surprised at the response from this gym since they are known in our area but not a power house and my daughter's scores were on par with many of their gymnasts. Anyway guess it's not meant to be but we have other gyms in the area I can check into - this one was just the closest.

One last question - is the coach having "favorites" the norm? It is really obvious at our gym and many people have pulled their kids out for this reason. But will we likely face the same thing somewhere else given my daughter is not a phenom.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Favorites is rather subjective and open to interpretation. More detail would help.

There are some at our gym who think the coaches have favorites. I don't think so. I do think they know who the hard workers are and who the slackers are and who the serious kids are and who aren't. To some that's favorites, I call it realistic.

 

[volleymom7]

I wish this wasn't the case at our gym. My daughter is complimented by her coaches for being a "very hard worker" but isn't really a favorite. There is one girl on her team who tells the rest of the girls "I'm XXX's favorite" and she does get extra attention from the coaches by getting extra turns on bars, vault, etc. To be specific, she does the skill or routine 5 times, the rest of the girls get to do it once or twice and then are moved on. The favorites are given high 5's after their routines at meets and comforted when they fall and even cry. My daughter is often just ignored and has never gotten even a pat on the back after a fall.

Several of our best friends at the gym have also left over issues like these so I don't think it's something we're just making up. This is one of the reasons why we would like to switch. The favoritism also breeds jealousy amongst the girls since they know which ones are the favorites. This leads to the girls not really being supportive of their teammates. Unfortunately I can tell my kid doesn't thrive in this environment. She really wants everyone to do well and doesn't like the mean comments she heads and is disappointed when her teammates don't support her as well. I wish I could have moved her earlier but it would have been difficult when her brother was still competing.

 

[AgingHippie]

Unfortunately I have seen this before with one coach in particular in our 3 years. I would not say it's the norm but it can and does happen.

I did breed some jealousy but mostly between the parents. I never noticed it but the parents that stayed for practice sure did and a few others told me their dds complained about it to them.

Either my dd was oblivious or it didn't phase her but either way it's not a fun situation.

Once you have a better idea of which direction you want to go watching a few practices without yoir dd might be helpful.

 

[beachgirl]

My daughter changed gyms earlier this year as a 10 year old L5. We have a lot of gyms within 45 minutes of our house. I researched all of the gyms and then narrowed it down to the gyms that I thought would be a good match for my daughter. I had one gym in mind that I thought would be the best match. I then went to the 3 gyms that I was interested in about an hour before I thought practice was over and watched the practice, the coaches and listened to the parents picking up. Based on that, my opinion of which gym I preferred changed. I set up appointments for my daughter to go in to all 3 gyms, 2 had my daughter work out with the team, 1 just a try out with head coach. All 3 asked my daughter's name and they seemed to know which gym she was from when she came in , even though I didn't tell them. I let my daughter have the final decision on which gym to go to. All 3 asked her to be on their team. I'm glad that we didn't just go with the first team that I thought would be the best and did some research. She's been at her new gym for 6 months and loves it. The gym she is at is not the gym that I always thought she would go to, but it is the perfect fit for her.

 

[Gymbee06]

We changed a couple of months ago I called and had no problem telling them honestly why we were looking for a new gym but we don't seem to have then culture over here of the new gym calling the current gym to find out info we were told to take her to tryout out when we got there the hc didn't even know my dd was trying out and immediately said there was no space on her team but would take a look after practice dd was offered a place I wonder if it's just something that is said so coach doesn't have the confrontation of saying your dd isn't up to their standards(not at all saying your dd isn't good enough) just that it's much easier to say there isn't any space and then take her on after a tryout that say ok tryout and then they decide they don't want her maybe you could ask for a tryout anyway you already know that she may not get offered a space but they may change their minds if they see she is a hard worker

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I had a group that almost fell apart because all the moms and kids were talking about favoritism and how that group was the B group..... Talk is cheap and causes problems all the time in sports. That B group ended up doing extremely well, but a few people can absolutely create chaos.... Talk to your head coach first.

 

[profmom]

Have you talked to the head coach or owner about the current problems? If your daughter's coaches were telling her not to worry about a bad beam score after a tough day because it would not count toward the team's score, it sounds like they are very aware that she is a real team player and appreciate that aspect of her personality.

My two have been in the same gym since they started, so I don't have a lot of good advice about switching, but what I have learned from being around here is that norms differ dramatically from area to area. Furthermore, some gyms in the same area have longstanding histories with each other that color the way they treat requests to move from one to another by athletes. This can range from almost an informal feeder system (weaker gym just sends their most ambitious and stronger athletes along when they need a stronger program) to intense and bitter rivalries where coaches cut former athletes dead at meets. You really need to figure out your local climate before you develop strategies to approach other gyms. If many other gymnasts have left your gym, where have they gone?

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I wish this wasn't the case at our gym. My daughter is complimented by her coaches for being a "very hard worker" but isn't really a favorite. There is one girl on her team who tells the rest of the girls "I'm XXX's favorite" and she does get extra attention from the coaches by getting extra turns on bars, vault, etc. To be specific, she does the skill or routine 5 times, the rest of the girls get to do it once or twice and then are moved on. The favorites are given high 5's after their routines at meets and comforted when they fall and even cry. My daughter is often just ignored and has never gotten even a pat on the back after a fall.

Several of our best friends at the gym have also left over issues like these so I don't think it's something we're just making up. This is one of the reasons why we would like to switch. The favoritism also breeds jealousy amongst the girls since they know which ones are the favorites. This leads to the girls not really being supportive of their teammates. Unfortunately I can tell my kid doesn't thrive in this environment. She really wants everyone to do well and doesn't like the mean comments she heads and is disappointed when her teammates don't support her as well. I wish I could have moved her earlier but it would have been difficult when her brother was still competing.

The reality is people have biases and favorites, can't do much about that. But professionally they need to keep in check.

Regarding training time all kids should be getting what they need. Some may actually need an extra turn or 2. One kid gets something quickly and can move, another needs more. Doing what is fair, doesn't necessarily mean everthing is equal. Doing what is right for each child doesn't necessarily mean everything is equal.

But the bratty behavior of the girl really needs to be addressed and stopped.

Has any one tried to address these issues with the coaches?
Are the powers that be aware?

Because if they are not, nothing will change.

If they are and nothing has changed, you have your answer and time to move on.

Personally, I am not concerned with who is a favorite or popular. I am only concerned that my kid is getting what she needs. As long as she does we stay put, if that should change, so will we.

 

[sce]

I don't know what your states competitive season is, but if you are mid season gyms may be less willing to take a transfer than they are at the send of the season

 

[kris]

We did switch gyms after level 8. I would second/third/whatever the recommendation to go watch a part of practice if you are allowed. DD didn't move because of favoritism, but is very glad she made the switch.