Parents Looking at Other Gyms - Is This Typical?

[e'smum]

When my DD left the last artistic gym she switched from, she left her ankle weights, a spare leo, and a couple other things behind. They were gone for good and written off as the part of the price of leaving. We specifically left the day after a meet because that meant she had her grips with her and not at the gym.

did she know she was leaving? just curious. were they left as part of a strategic move just so no one thought it weird she was leaving? or was it a ok, that's it we're leaving and i don't care what's at the gym situation?

i can't imagine our HC, even if he was upset and a little angry about someone leaving, not allowing a kid to come back and get her stuff. i can totally see him getting upset with the right set of circumstances but to not to the point to where he wouldn't at least let the kid come back in or have another girl get the items for her.

 

[MILgymFAM]

did she know she was leaving? just curious. were they left as part of a strategic move just so no one thought it weird she was leaving? or was it a ok, that's it we're leaving and i don't care what's at the gym situation?

i can't imagine our HC, even if he was upset and a little angry about someone leaving, not allowing a kid to come back and get her stuff. i can totally see him getting upset with the right set of circumstances but to not to the point to where he wouldn't at least let the kid come back in or have another girl get the items for her.

It was more the meet was the straw that broke the camels back. We decided to leave on the ride home, no more waiting or dithering. She could have gone to the next practice first to get her stuff back and then left, but it felt like it was important that she never have to be coached by him again. Her relief was worth replacing a few things. Honestly, had the grips been left behind my husband would have gone there and demanded them back. Less because they’re expensive and more because they’re a pain to break in.

 

[Ty’s Dad]

I live in the Bay Area, my wife and I was talking to another gym parents at the level 10 state meet. The gym we attended seen us then gave us the boot after my daughter had her state meet the next week.

 

[duyetanh]

I live in the Bay Area, my wife and I was talking to another gym parents at the level 10 state meet. The gym we attended seen us then gave us the boot after my daughter had her state meet the next week.

I am sorry.

 

[gymbeam]

I had always thought the reason looking at another gym could get you removed from your current team had more to with a breakdown of the critical athlete/coach trust more than it had to do with just being a spiteful, insecure reflex.

While I think it is extremely unfortunate, from a coach’s perspective I can understand how the relationship could be injured beyond repair when you learn an athlete is considering leaving.

After all, unless you are relocating, then moving to another local gym usually means you have some sort of issue with your current gym.

 

[txgymfan]

I live in the Bay Area, my wife and I was talking to another gym parents at the level 10 state meet. The gym we attended seen us then gave us the boot after my daughter had her state meet the next week.

Unless they heard you say negative things about your gym this seems extreme. You could have been chatting about mutual friends. How do they know what you were talking about? I hope you find a great new gym.

 

[Ty’s Dad]

Unless they heard you say negative things about your gym this seems extreme. You could have been chatting about mutual friends. How do they know what you were talking about? I hope you find a great new gym.

Yeah we found a great gym that my daughter loves. We wasn’t even talking about gymnastics, but I didn’t realize we was sitting with all the gym parents and not with other gym parents

 

[e'smum]

I live in the Bay Area, my wife and I was talking to another gym parents at the level 10 state meet. The gym we attended seen us then gave us the boot after my daughter had her state meet the next week.

what?!? just for talking to other parents? that's ridiculous.
i talk to other parents at meets all the time.

 

[GymMom4]

I live in the Bay Area, my wife and I was talking to another gym parents at the level 10 state meet. The gym we attended seen us then gave us the boot after my daughter had her state meet the next week.

That’s horrible! Just for talking to other parents? I always try to be friendly and talk to other parents around me at meets. It doesn’t mean you are trying to leave your current gym

 

[sce]

I live in the Bay Area, my wife and I was talking to another gym parents at the level 10 state meet. The gym we attended seen us then gave us the boot after my daughter had her state meet the next week.

That is too crazy! I mean you can’t be friendly with other gym parents? What if you just had a friend or cousin at another gym and thus were sitting with your friend and cheering on their child?

 

[tomtnt]

Yeah we found a great gym that my daughter loves. We wasn’t even talking about gymnastics, but I didn’t realize we was sitting with all the gym parents and not with other gym parents

alright, now I'm really curious - is this the SF bay area and was it one of the "big 2" gym programs there?

 

[LindyHopper]

I live in the Bay Area, my wife and I was talking to another gym parents at the level 10 state meet. The gym we attended seen us then gave us the boot after my daughter had her state meet the next week.

This is crazy! My husband's cousin has a daughter who competes the same level as Short Stack, but for a different gym.

When we are at the same meet and session, we sit together because we're family.

Those other parents could have been friends/family/neighbors. How dare they assume you were being disloyal in any way and give your daughter the boot. (Especially for something she has no control over, because she is on the competition floor)

And I really wonder about the quality of coaching during the meet, if the coaches have time to scan the crowd and monitor parent behavior.

 

[duyetanh]

No offense to the poster who said they were talking to parents at other gyms and then got kicked off...i find that wild...but was this out of the blue, or did the old gym that kicked off the gymnast think they were unhappy for any reason? Was there already dissension in the ranks, so to speak? I guess I find it just unbelievable to be kicked off a team for simply talking to other parents at a meet unless there was already some issue. I still think it’s crazy, either way, it’s just plain bizarre.

 

[MILgymFAM]

No offense to the poster who said they were talking to parents at other gyms and then got kicked off...i find that wild...but was this out of the blue, or did the old gym that kicked off the gymnast think they were unhappy for any reason? Was there already dissension in the ranks, so to speak? I guess I find it just unbelievable to be kicked off a team for simply talking to other parents at a meet unless there was already some issue. I still think it’s crazy, either way, it’s just plain bizarre.

Obviously I don’t *know*, but having been in the Bay Area... I believe it.

 

[momnipotent]

Yeah we found a great gym that my daughter loves. We wasn’t even talking about gymnastics, but I didn’t realize we was sitting with all the gym parents and not with other gym parents

This makes it sound to me like they had already found (or tried out) another gym and were sitting with those parents at the meet instead of the parents from the current gym. I would assume if that was so, then the daughter was kicked off because of the trial at the other gym and not because of where the parents sat at the meet. I feel more clarification is needed.

 

[BridgetHelen]

My daughter has been in gymnastics for five years now, and has been at three different gyms. We have learned the hard way that, at least around here, so much as looking at another gym will get you immediately kicked out, no questions asked. In the experience of other gymnastics parents, is this sort of thing typical?

Our first gym, Gym 1, was no-nonsense and produced very positive results at first. Once she moved above level 3, the coaches became borderline abusive, so we quickly and quietly looked around for other gyms. Our daughter went to do a short, trial class at a gym one of her friends attends. We weren't committed to it or anything, just seeing what else was available. Anyway, as we were walking to the car after the class, we got a text from the owner of Gym 1, who had learned that we had been to another gym. We were told that we were kicked off the team and never allowed to so much as set foot on the property of her gym.

We were creeped out by how she had found out so quickly, but since we were about to pull our daughter out anyway, it didn't bother us too much. After a little more looking around, we settled on a gym we were all reasonably happy with (Gym 2), which was about a 30 minute drive from our house. For the next year-and-a-half, all went well, but all the driving back and forth took its toll on us.

Last year, a new gym opened up about a 5-minute drive from our house (Gym 3). We checked it out and my wife and I fell in love with it immediately. Our daughter liked it, but didn't want to leave her friends, so we decided to wait a few more weeks before making a final decision. Long story short, the owner of Gym 2 found out we had looked at another gym and kicked us out without warning. Since we hadn't yet determined that we were leaving, this caught us completely unprepared. Luckily, we were able to get her into Gym 3 less than a week later, and we have been happy with it ever since.

Is this sort of thing normal? Are gym owners out there really so possessive that simply looking at another gym is considered grounds for immediate dismissal and banning, no questions asked?

Some of these gym owners are ridiculous. The coach at my daughter’s first gym didn’t seem to care when my kid left but is super rude to other kids (that I’ve heard of) and has threatened that they better not even look at other gyms. I think it’s funny because we pay them to coach our kid. We don’t owe them anything. They also don’t own our children.