Parents Looks like we're done

[nettyinpa]

Hi everyone. It's been a rough week. Over the past few months Olivia's been experiencing bad stomach pain, some days bad enough to keep her home from school. Last Thursday Olivia missed practice so we could go to see her brother's concert. While we're sitting there she started complaining of pain. Friday morning she woke up still complaining and said it was worse then the night before. We kept her home from school and I took her to a clinic for blood work. (We saw the doctor back in October, we tried tons of remedies, none worked for very long. The doc prescribed 5 different blood test so we had them done Friday. Still waiting for results.) Anyway, Saturday I wake her up to go to practice, she's still moaning, just miserable. I call the gym again, telling them she's not coming. As the day went on she was better and didn't complain too much. Yesterday morning, she's up in the morning, saying mom, I really should go to practice tonight, I don't think I should miss again ~ all the while she doesn't look good, her stomach hurts......Yesterday my dh & I ran into a mom from our old gym who had 2 daughters that made the elite level, one is still there, we told her what's going on and she said it sounds like nervous stomach, like she feels sick whenever she thinks about going to the gym. She said over the years she's seen a lot of girls experience that, some more so than others, depending on the kid. My dh and I looked at each other like Aha! that's gotta be what's going on with her. I'm not saying there isn't something medically wrong with her, I'll wait for the results but it really sounds to me like it's more a mental thing with her.

Anyway, sorry I got so wordy. Last night we sat her down and asked her if she wanted to go to practice and she shook her head no. Then we asked her if she ever wanted to go back and with tears in her eyes she said no! She said she's just too afraid, doesn't think she'll ever catch up, is getting kind of tired of the whole thing and really wants to try new things. Part of me felt so sad but the other part felt relief. Even if this nervous stomach isn't her problem, she's done. She was adament about it again this morning, really wants to try other things. Of course, the dollar signs being flushed down the drain are enough to make me cry, it's all okay. I'm going to talk to the gym owners and coaches tonight. I'm sure I'll lose it as soon as I go in there. :bawling:

I will probably still lurk around here, check up on everyone. Who knows, she may totally have a change of heart and want to go back. It's up to her. I want to thank everyone for their advise here and all the cyber friendships I've made over the last 3 years. I'll miss everyone!

 

[Gymdad2]

Netty,

I want to wish the very best for you and your dd and I sincerely hope that you and your family will find peace, happiness and fullfillment in new experiences and endeavors as your lives go forward.

 

[mariposa]

Netty,

Ditto on what Gymdad2 said. And sending you all a big hug. I think you are doing the right thing by letting her decide right now. Hope the stomach things resolves with the decision. She is still very young and may just need a break. She had some stressful moments and maybe it is just all catching up with her. Even though she is in a new gym, she might still be carrying the stress over from her old gym, the expectations, etc.

Hope you keep in touch here!

 

[bookworm]

This happened with my other child and piano lessons...always had a "headache" and "stomachache" before heading to piano...one day I mentioned we'd take time off from piano and never another headache!!

 

[Azgymmiemom]

oh, I am sooo sorry that she had to go through this!! On one hand, I know that you wish she still wanted to do gym(us, too!!), but on the other, I am really hoping that this is the issue with her stomach and not something medically wrong 'cause that's just plain scary
Wishing you both health and happiness...and stick around...you are right, she may want to come back to it! THere's a girl on my dd's team that quit for two years and is back now.
let us know the results...

 

[bogwoppit]

Oh Netty I know this is very tough to face, and we all will face it one day. BUt I am so glad you were able to put Olivia first and to try to help her.

My oldest went through abdominal pain for a whole year of a new school, she had every teat known to man, nothing wrong. It gradually went away as she made new friends and settled down. But the pain was real and she looked terrible. I really hope Olivia feels better once the gym has been told and then she can relax and thnk about what she would like to do in the future.

Do stick around, you have much to offer here, even if your DD doesn't so gym, you do have the expereinces that can help others.

 

[MdGymMom01]

Oh Netty--I am so sorry that Olivia is going through this. There is a girl on Dani's old cheer team that went through this. She would get sick right before they performed and even while they were performing. Her nervous stomach got so bad that she decided to quit cheer alltogether--it was just too stressful for her.

And never think that the money that you put into this sport is a waste--she had many great years and many great memories of her hard work throughout the years. It is the day to day journey that is important, NOT the end result of what level you made it to.

I wish you and Olivia the best and hope that she finds a new passion that makes her just as happy as when she started gym. Good luck and Happy Holidays!!!

 

[gymmom14]

Netty I am sorry you are going through this. It is something we all will face sooner or later. I am proud of the way you are handling this. It is very apparant that your dd did gymnastic for herself. Not to make you happy. There are a lot of girls I know who are doing it for the wrong reasons. You dd sounds very mature. Good luck and stick around and see how all of this craziness works out for the rest of us!

 

[Megley]

Netty, I am so sorry to hear that you and Olivia are struggling so much with this. I cannot imagine my own reaction if I were in your shoes. I truly hope that the decision to quit helps Olivia to feel better about everything and that it stops the stomach aches. Better that they be in her head that caused by some unknown disease.

Big huge hugs to both of you!! I truly hope that she finds something that she can be passionate about and fully enjoy. As they say, when one door closes, another opens and I am sure that will be true for Olivia.

 

[mariposa]

Do stick around, you have much to offer here, even if your DD doesn't so gym, you do have the expereinces that can help others.

:yes: Totally agree with Bog on this!!

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

Netty, I am so sorry you and Olivia are both going through this. I have to give kudos to you though, for putting your daughter's health and happiness first. We all have to fast our DD's leaving this sport, one way or another. It's just hard when it really does happen (Harder for US!!). I truly hope it's just a nervous stomach (kind of sounds like it, doesn't it?). You have had a lot of wonderful advice over the years, please stick close by!

 

[GymnastJoy]

You sound like a caring mom who makes her dd's well-being (whether it be physical or emotional) most important. I believe that supporting her now will show her that you are right behind her through life. I'm sure that the decision to stop gym will make her feel more "settled" since it was her own. And she knows that you are there for her if she decides to go back. Gym is great for all of the lessons that it teaches our dds (and ourselves!) and if a positive experience shouldn't be considered a waste of money- as I keep reassuring myself . Good luck to you and your dd. And please continue to post and reply as I have learned much from your down-to-earth attitude and experiences in this crazy sport.

 

[gym law mom]

Netty, I want to congratulate you for sitting down with Olivia and asking what she wanted and then backed her up. Some parents would have tried to talk or bribe her into changing her mind or completing the season. You could see she was hurting---physically and emotionally and were strong enough to say its ok to stop.

I know she's had injuries and had to work on recovering from those. My wish for her and you is that 2011 brings new and wonderful activities.

Keep coming by!!

 

[taximom]

Netty, hugs to both youn and Olivia. As others have mentioned we all will be in your shoes at some point. You have put Olivia first and handled the scenario beautifully! Best wishes on future endeavours hopefully you pop in once in a while to give us an update.

 

[Empowered]

I think everyone has already summed up any advice I could have given so I'll just send some warm holiday hugs to you and your daughter.

 

[nettyinpa]

Thanks everyone for all your kind words and support. This was definitely not an easy choice for her. Or me. But, she's really showing me what an awesome kid she is with her attitude and her ability to handle this situation. She just called me, she got home from school and her stomach doesn't hurt! Go figure!

In the words of Arnold ~ "I'll be back!!"

 

[Monkeygirlsmom]

Good for you for checking all basis! and as hard as it is , sounds like you are doing what any good parent does , The child and health come first!

Many wishes to you and your family.

 

[lhmom]

My heart goes out to you guys. When my daughter and the other girls moved to team this past spring, there was one who started experiencing stomach issues (pain, diarrhea). Her mom took her to specialists over a span of 2 months until they determined the same thing. She was getting so anxious she was making herself sick. She took a few months off from gym and after going back to rec classes, she joined the tumbling team. Her mom told me recently she has not had a problem since. Sounds like you guys have put her first which is the most important thing. I wish her the best and I'm sure she will succeed in whatever she goes to next!

 

[gymjourneymom]

Oh Netty I'm so sorry to hear Olivia is feeling so stessed by gymnastics. Sounds like it is eating her up inside literally! I'm so proud of both her & you for doing what is right for her & looking out for her physical & mental well being!!! As others have said kudos to you for being supportive of her & giving her permission to let it go & trying new things! And I'm sooooo happy to hear she is feeling better today!!!

Let me say I LOVE your attitude!!!! What a wonderfully supportive mom you are!!! We here at CB, can all understand what a difficult situation is for you & your family. And you have handled it with grace & LOVE for your child. I've seen so many parents make it about themselves & not the child! Forcing kids to stay with the sport b/c "so much time & money has been put into it". I always tell them "Look at ALL she has done & ALL she is taking with her from this sport!!! Money spent on THAT was certainly NOT wasted!". Please, please do stick around here we NEED your input of sanity here at CB!!!!

Wishing your family, good health, peace & joy in the coming new year! And Good Luck to Olivia as she ventures on to new experiences!!! Such an exciting time for her! The world is her oyster!!!

 

[kristilyn73]

Netty, It must have been really hard for Olivia to tell you that she wanted to quit. Poor kiddo. I can imagine it will be hard for you as well. This sport becomes such a big part of our lives.

I do hope you keep in touch! I would love to hear the new and wonderful things that Olivia will take part in. i am sure what ever it is she will shine.