Parents Mckayla maroney Instagram

[Geoffrey Taucer]

This thread really hits a major pet-peeve of mine, so I think I'm going to rant, and then make my exit from this thread.

Athletes do not belong to their fans (or to the parents of their fans). Each athlete is their own person, free to do what they enjoy and make their own decisions, just like the rest of us. It happens that what they enjoy doing (in this case gymnastics) happens to draw a lot of fans, but when they leave the floor they're their own person, doing their own thing, for their own reasons, and it's nobody else's business but their own.
Concern for the examples set for your kid is fine, but it does not give you (and this is a general and hypothetical "you;" I'm not directing this at any particular person) the right to pass judgement on what they do when they're off the floor. It's almost always phrased as "well she has the right to, but I sure hope my kids don't....." or "well she has the right to, but if I were her mother, surely she would never...." or something else equally condescending and judgemental. Prefacing it by stating she has the right to doesn't make it any less condescending or judgemental, nor does the fact that the subject of your judgement is on the internet. Once she steps off the floor, you have no right to pass judgement on what she does.
Imagine your kid at 18 years old. Whether that's in the past, present or future, imagine it for a moment. Now imagine a bunch of complete strangers sitting around passing that sort of judgement on what your kid wears, and what sort of pictures your kid takes, and how many, and so on. To say it would be creepy is an understatement. If they were to dress it up as concern for your kid or for their kid, that would not make it any less creepy.

Miley Cyrus is an oft-used point of comparison lately, but you know what? The same applies to Miley. When she first became a Disney icon, she was too young to even sign her own contracts. She spent the next few years doing being a wholesome Disneypop icon, presumably because that's what she (and her parents) decided for her when she was young. But now that she's an adult, she is under absolutely zero obligation to spend the rest of her life still being that wholesome little Disneypop icon. She's her own person, doing her own thing, for her own reasons. It makes absolutely zero difference whether or not you approve of her decisions or her reasons for making them. She does not belong to her fans, and she does not belong to the parents of her fans.


Furthermore, every generation has lamented "kids these days," and prophesized that the world would go to hell when this generation of kids grew up and had to take the reigns. And yet with very few exceptions, every generation of kids seems to grow up to live longer, happier, and healthier lives than the previous one.

 

[shelovestoflip]

This thread really hits a major pet-peeve of mine, so I think I'm going to rant, and then make my exit from this thread.

Athletes do not belong to their fans (or to the parents of their fans). Each athlete is their own person, free to do what they enjoy and make their own decisions, just like the rest of us. It happens that what they enjoy doing (in this case gymnastics) happens to draw a lot of fans, but when they leave the floor they're their own person, doing their own thing, for their own reasons, and it's nobody else's business but their own.
Concern for the examples set for your kid is fine, but it does not give you (and this is a general and hypothetical "you;" I'm not directing this at any particular person) the right to pass judgement on what they do when they're off the floor. It's almost always phrased as "well she has the right to, but I sure hope my kids don't....." or "well she has the right to, but if I were her mother, surely she would never...." or something else equally condescending and judgemental. Prefacing it by stating she has the right to doesn't make it any less condescending or judgemental, nor does the fact that the subject of your judgement is on the internet. Once she steps off the floor, you have no right to pass judgement on what she does.
Imagine your kid at 18 years old. Whether that's in the past, present or future, imagine it for a moment. Now imagine a bunch of complete strangers sitting around passing that sort of judgement on what your kid wears, and what sort of pictures your kid takes, and how many, and so on. To say it would be creepy is an understatement. If they were to dress it up as concern for your kid or for their kid, that would not make it any less creepy.

Miley Cyrus is an oft-used point of comparison lately, but you know what? The same applies to Miley. When she first became a Disney icon, she was too young to even sign her own contracts. She spent the next few years doing being a wholesome Disneypop icon, presumably because that's what she (and her parents) decided for her when she was young. But now that she's an adult, she is under absolutely zero obligation to spend the rest of her life still being that wholesome little Disneypop icon. She's her own person, doing her own thing, for her own reasons. It makes absolutely zero difference whether or not you approve of her decisions or her reasons for making them. She does not belong to her fans, and she does not belong to the parents of her fans.


Furthermore, every generation has lamented "kids these days," and prophesized that the world would go to hell when this generation of kids grew up and had to take the reigns. And yet with very few exceptions, every generation of kids seems to grow up to live longer, happier, and healthier lives than the previous one.

Yup, this!

 

[shelovestoflip]

Oh, come on. The people who should be ashamed are the commentators. I see no reason to pathologize psychologically an extremely talented, hardworking athlete who's been very successful. Nothing in her posts suggests that she is insecure or lacking in self esteem. And she is not engaging in pre-teen sexualization; she is only barely a teenager.

I find it distressing that female athletes' behavior is so much more tightly policed than men's. McKayla Maroney owes nothing to my daughter or yours, and she did not interview for the job of role model. If you prefer not to have your daughter follow her instagram, that is of course your choice.

Today's teenagers strike me as no more or less narcissistic than any generation of teenagers since the dawn of time.

agreed

 

[my4buffaloes]

Y'all almost have me wanting to get an Instagram account to see what all the fuss is about. But honestly it is just a big time suck that - well, I just don't have the time for.

 

[twinmomma]

This thread really hits a major pet-peeve of mine, so I think I'm going to rant, and then make my exit from this thread.

Athletes do not belong to their fans (or to the parents of their fans). Each athlete is their own person, free to do what they enjoy and make their own decisions, just like the rest of us. It happens that what they enjoy doing (in this case gymnastics) happens to draw a lot of fans, but when they leave the floor they're their own person, doing their own thing, for their own reasons, and it's nobody else's business but their own.
Concern for the examples set for your kid is fine, but it does not give you (and this is a general and hypothetical "you;" I'm not directing this at any particular person) the right to pass judgement on what they do when they're off the floor. It's almost always phrased as "well she has the right to, but I sure hope my kids don't....." or "well she has the right to, but if I were her mother, surely she would never...." or something else equally condescending and judgemental. Prefacing it by stating she has the right to doesn't make it any less condescending or judgemental, nor does the fact that the subject of your judgement is on the internet. Once she steps off the floor, you have no right to pass judgement on what she does.
Imagine your kid at 18 years old. Whether that's in the past, present or future, imagine it for a moment. Now imagine a bunch of complete strangers sitting around passing that sort of judgement on what your kid wears, and what sort of pictures your kid takes, and how many, and so on. To say it would be creepy is an understatement. If they were to dress it up as concern for your kid or for their kid, that would not make it any less creepy.

Miley Cyrus is an oft-used point of comparison lately, but you know what? The same applies to Miley. When she first became a Disney icon, she was too young to even sign her own contracts. She spent the next few years doing being a wholesome Disneypop icon, presumably because that's what she (and her parents) decided for her when she was young. But now that she's an adult, she is under absolutely zero obligation to spend the rest of her life still being that wholesome little Disneypop icon. She's her own person, doing her own thing, for her own reasons. It makes absolutely zero difference whether or not you approve of her decisions or her reasons for making them. She does not belong to her fans, and she does not belong to the parents of her fans.


Furthermore, every generation has lamented "kids these days," and prophesized that the world would go to hell when this generation of kids grew up and had to take the reigns. And yet with very few exceptions, every generation of kids seems to grow up to live longer, happier, and healthier lives than the previous one.

This. All of it.

 

[happychaos]

This thread really hits a major pet-peeve of mine, so I think I'm going to rant, and then make my exit from this thread.

Athletes do not belong to their fans (or to the parents of their fans). Each athlete is their own person, free to do what they enjoy and make their own decisions, just like the rest of us. It happens that what they enjoy doing (in this case gymnastics) happens to draw a lot of fans, but when they leave the floor they're their own person, doing their own thing, for their own reasons, and it's nobody else's business but their own.
Concern for the examples set for your kid is fine, but it does not give you (and this is a general and hypothetical "you;" I'm not directing this at any particular person) the right to pass judgement on what they do when they're off the floor. It's almost always phrased as "well she has the right to, but I sure hope my kids don't....." or "well she has the right to, but if I were her mother, surely she would never...." or something else equally condescending and judgemental. Prefacing it by stating she has the right to doesn't make it any less condescending or judgemental, nor does the fact that the subject of your judgement is on the internet. Once she steps off the floor, you have no right to pass judgement on what she does.
Imagine your kid at 18 years old. Whether that's in the past, present or future, imagine it for a moment. Now imagine a bunch of complete strangers sitting around passing that sort of judgement on what your kid wears, and what sort of pictures your kid takes, and how many, and so on. To say it would be creepy is an understatement. If they were to dress it up as concern for your kid or for their kid, that would not make it any less creepy.

Miley Cyrus is an oft-used point of comparison lately, but you know what? The same applies to Miley. When she first became a Disney icon, she was too young to even sign her own contracts. She spent the next few years doing being a wholesome Disneypop icon, presumably because that's what she (and her parents) decided for her when she was young. But now that she's an adult, she is under absolutely zero obligation to spend the rest of her life still being that wholesome little Disneypop icon. She's her own person, doing her own thing, for her own reasons. It makes absolutely zero difference whether or not you approve of her decisions or her reasons for making them. She does not belong to her fans, and she does not belong to the parents of her fans.


Furthermore, every generation has lamented "kids these days," and prophesized that the world would go to hell when this generation of kids grew up and had to take the reigns. And yet with very few exceptions, every generation of kids seems to grow up to live longer, happier, and healthier lives than the previous one.

Deeming someone's public behavior inappropriate, or stating "I hope my kids never do that" is absolutely NOT condescending or judgmental. It's being a good parent. When my children and I encounter "miley" type behavior, I take the time to explain to them the consequences of that behavior, and the potential ramifications on their life if they choose to behave the same way. Most people cannot lead a successful life while engaging in the extreme attention-seeking and obnoxious behaviors that celebrities can.

I am truly sorry for the paparazzi that many public figures have to deal with, and I do feel sorry when privacy is violated. HOWEVER, public behavior and public social media accounts are fair game for criticism. Of course MM does not belong to her fans- no one said she did. But, when someone my DD looks up to is PUBLICALLY behaving in a way that is not in line with the values I am trying to teach DD, you'd better believe I am going discuss it with DD. And yes, PUBLIC social media posts are fair game for PUBLIC criticism.

Of course Miley (or anyone else) has the right to do what she wants. But she does NOT have the right to be free of criticism for her public behavior. I am trying very hard to teach my kids that the things they post online need to be carefully weighed. Most young people don't understand the ramifications their social media behavior can have on their future.

Miley and other celebrities can get away with being obnoxious, provocative, and self-centered. In the real world these behaviors will leave you jobless and friendless.

 

[twinmomma]

Make no mistake, saying you hope your kids don't do something or you would parent differently is absolutely casting judgement. The reality is, we judge others all the time. The problem lies in when we expect them to change their behavior as the result of our judgement.

I don't believe posting photos on instagram in which MM is covered more than she would be in a bikini (or for that matter leaves more to the imagination than a skin tight leotard does) is something that deserves public derision, but you do, and that's your prerogative as a parent. However, if you truly believe being provocative, self centered and obnoxious leaves you jobless my guess is you haven't spent much time in corporate america recently.

 

[sce]

I told mine "If you wouldn't send it to grandpa, then do not put it online".

This is wonderful advice

 

[emorymom]

Social media tells a public story. For some jobs it's more important to have a story out there than others. For some jobs if you don't have a social media presence, you lack that competitive edge, while for other jobs, young adults are as likely to shoot themselves in the foot as help themselves because it's less important. I don't know what job she's aiming for. I can't judge this approach unless I understand the goal but understand this is possibly not idiocy.
I previously thought selfies were just ridiculous all the time. I've since modified my position and can see that they can have strategic utility, largely thanks to this guy http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/29/arts/the-meanings-of-the-selfie.html?_r=0 And I know he's gone off the deep end with social media a few times (maybe more than a few times) and I can't say the story he's telling me is helping me feel like I "know, like and trust" him. But I'm probably not his target audience.

 

[gracyomalley]

The thing is, as parents, when public figures push social norms we DO have to make a judgement call at least about how to speak to our children about this behavior and how much to allow them to be exposed to. That's why I come back to the parental responsibility part - Don't let your kids have social media access before they are old enough to filter the material (and 13 is by far the youngest I would consider...). DISCUSS with your children what they think the behavior means (I'm thinking Miley right now - MM's instagram in my opinion is her choice...) and what the consequences of putting a "different" you out there for the world to see may be. It's true that technology "allows" historical teen/young adult narcissism to reach new heights - and that our culture has become more self-centered....but this is the culture our kids are growing up in and we are responsible for how we help them frame the culture with their own (and our personal family) values...if we don't discuss and help them process the long term implications of choices others make we miss out on opportunities to guild them through their own someday.

None of this is to say that I "pass judgement" on the said public figures (and anyone who invites more than a few close friends to "follow them" on Instagram becomes a "public figure" - athlete, actress or whatever). If I think the possible consequences of someones actions make it not the best choice and discuss this with my kids, that is not a judgement against the person - after all, we have the same discussion about some of my choices from when I was a similar age...

It's called parenting