For Parents Miscommunication with Coaches

skygirlpc

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Mar 3, 2016
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We live in a fairly small town with not a lot of gym choices and the gyms we have are not the huge, highly organized gyms that some places have. I honestly do love the gym we are at and I think that their coaching approach is a perfect fit for us.

My daughter is 7 and has been in gymnastics since "mommy and me". She is extremely passionate and seems to (at the risk of sounding like a bragging mom) have a good bit of natural talent as well as be a good student.

A coach that has been with her for years and was my contact at the gym left a few months ago and I am now having to talk to the owner or his assistant (who are now teaching my daughter's class). My daughter had been doing private lessons with the previous coach. When he left she said that she wanted to get used to the new coaches before doing privates so we took some time off. Once she was feeling comfortable she asked if she could start taking private lessons again so I approached the assistant. That conversation was one big cluster. I honestly think it was just a huge miscommunication. I am probably overly sensitive but I walked away feeling like the gym viewed me as a "crazy gym mom". I also felt like she was telling me that my daughter was behind in skills but that they were refusing to do private lessons because they didn't want to give any girl an advantage. I walked away from that conversation totally confused, embarrassed and unsure of what the plan was for my daughter.

My sister, who is like a second mom and does most of the transporting to and from the gym, has since talked to the owner and the assistant and tells me that the conversation I had was a huge misunderstanding. They were concerned about my daughter building a relationship with the new coaches and that is what they felt she was behind in, not skills. Apparently now they want to do private lessons but do it as a one on two with her best friend to help the girls progress more equally (I love that idea and I was never trying to push my daughter ahead).

The issue for me is that the last conversation was such a mess that I am now scared to approach them. I am feeling very confused about the plan for my daughter and would love some clarity. Part of me thinks that I should just trust the gym and the process and then the other part of me wonders if a few years down the road I may regret not pushing for more clarity, will my daughter fall through the cracks if I don't make it clear what our desires are?
 

GymDadWA

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Dec 30, 2017
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IMO private lessons should be reserved for when a gymnast needs additional time to work on a particular skill or routine. They should be getting enough practice time without them.

Do you want to do privates just because she wants extra gymnastics? Maybe just doing open gym would satisfy that itch without taking up the coaches time, that might be why they were hesitant to do a private in the first place.
 
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skygirlpc

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Mar 3, 2016
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IMO private lessons should be reserved for when a gymnast needs additional time to work on a particular skill or routine. They should be getting enough practice time without them.

Do you want to do privates just because she wants extra gymnastics? Maybe just doing open gym would satisfy that itch without taking up the coaches time, that might be why they were hesitant to do a private in the first place.
Yes, I was just wanting to let her get more time in the gym because she wanted it.
Our gym doesn't really do an "open gym" time, but we did end up doing something similar to that.
I guess my frustration is that I felt like I was told no to privates because of the advantage issue then my daughter tells me that a girl in her class knew how to do the beam mount they just started learning because she does private lessons. I don't think they mean to be sending mixed messages but that's how it comes across.
 
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ldw4mlo

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Feb 13, 2015
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Relationships takes takes time to establish. And that includes parents to. The only way they get better is to keep having conversations. This is one of those try again situation
 
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skygirlpc

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Relationships takes takes time to establish. And that includes parents to. The only way they get better is to keep having conversations. This is one of those try again situation
But I'm scared!!

I get it.. You are probably right. I just need to pull up my big girl panties and face the possible chaos again.
 

gymgal

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Schedule another meeting and clear the air now, for both you and the coaches. Don't let it fester as it will get worse in the long term. Also Remember that you are the paying customer. You have the right to be treated respectfully and have your questions answered. Now, sometimes that answer maybe be "We don't know yet" but they should be open about it at least.
 

ldw4mlo

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Feb 13, 2015
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But I'm scared!!

I get it.. You are probably right. I just need to pull up my big girl panties and face the possible chaos again.
Yes. And as I tell my daughter.
“How do you get better?”

And she says now with eye rolls because she is 15. “By doing it.”

If you avoid discomort, you will never become comfortable.
 

Mom9024

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Aug 16, 2020
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Schedule another meeting with DD's gym owner/manager, and ask what their overall coaching philosophy is for practice versus privates. Also ask yourself what you're really trying to achieve with scheduling your DD for privates with a coach no longer at the gym. If your DD wants more gym time, it could be more uptraining during regular practice would challenge her.

Our gym will do privates to help a gymnast clean up or achieve a skill, but they have clear expectations the gymnast should attend practice regularly. They do not like substituting privates for practice.

Also, the gym may have valid concerns she's being coached in a manner that conflicts with their current program, or as you noted above, delays her connecting with her current coaches. If you feel the current gym is a good fit for DD, you need to make a decision whether you want to commit to it, or follow the old coach to their new gym.
 

skygirlpc

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Mar 3, 2016
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Schedule another meeting with DD's gym owner/manager, and ask what their overall coaching philosophy is for practice versus privates. Also ask yourself what you're really trying to achieve with scheduling your DD for privates with a coach no longer at the gym. If your DD wants more gym time, it could be more uptraining during regular practice would challenge her.

Our gym will do privates to help a gymnast clean up or achieve a skill, but they have clear expectations the gymnast should attend practice regularly. They do not like substituting privates for practice.

Also, the gym may have valid concerns she's being coached in a manner that conflicts with their current program, or as you noted above, delays her connecting with her current coaches. If you feel the current gym is a good fit for DD, you need to make a decision whether you want to commit to it, or follow the old coach to their new gym

Schedule another meeting with DD's gym owner/manager, and ask what their overall coaching philosophy is for practice versus privates. Also ask yourself what you're really trying to achieve with scheduling your DD for privates with a coach no longer at the gym. If your DD wants more gym time, it could be more uptraining during regular practice would challenge her.

Our gym will do privates to help a gymnast clean up or achieve a skill, but they have clear expectations the gymnast should attend practice regularly. They do not like substituting privates for practice.

Also, the gym may have valid concerns she's being coached in a manner that conflicts with their current program, or as you noted above, delays her connecting with her current coaches. If you feel the current gym is a good fit for DD, you need to make a decision whether you want to commit to it, or follow the old coach to their new gym.
Thank you for responding! I think you misunderstood my post, or maybe I wasn't clear.
I was trying to get privates lessons from her current coaches, not the old coach.
Also, She goes to every practice but just wanted more time. The private lessons I was asking about was not to substitute from her regular class.