WAG Missing Practice - Coaches and Parents Input Please

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My daughter missed a month right before her first Level 4 meet(this was the whole month of Dec.) because of a family trip to Asia. She again missed 3 weeks at Level 5 and Level 6 for european vacations (one was in February-mid season). She has always missed two weeks every year on various times of the year/season for vacations (with 4 kids, I try to save money by going non peak and they were still young so school was not an issue as much). In addition to that, we have family in the west coast (we live in the east coast) that we visit at least once a year for one week. Special events at school, I let her go all the time; friends parties not all the time. She has to pick and choose which friend's party is more important to her. She is now 14 and a second year Level 10. None of the vacations, parties and time off gym affected her progress. Had she not missed all those weeks, I think she'd still be where she is. My daughter is not a phenom or will never be elite. But she does pick skills up pretty quickly.

What is your husband so worried about?
 
I hope our coach feels the same way. Dad is pretty upset with me right now.

Dad might need to do a little research on the concept of burnout. It really is a thing, and it is a thing that is exacerbated by too much pressure from parents.

IMHO, kids need to learn how to make choices for themselves. They won't be able to make decisions based on their internal voices, if those voices are always trumped by the external ones. Don't you want your kid to want to be participating in things they WANT to do? If 99 out of 100 times she chooses gymnastics, that is all you can hope for and it's a good sign.

I have a L10 gymnast who almost always picks gym if there is a choice. That is why she has excelled. But occasionally she'll choose going to a school event, or to her sister's concert, or her cousin's track meet, or stay home if she's feeling exhausted, and it has never once set her back. If she was constantly choosing not to go, then I would understand she didn't love doing it anymore and we'd be having a different conversation. Ultimately, it's her call what she wants to put into it, both daily and for the long term, and I'll support her either way.
 
Dad might need to do a little research on the concept of burnout. It really is a thing, and it is a thing that is exacerbated by too much pressure from parents.

IMHO, kids need to learn how to make choices for themselves. They won't be able to make decisions based on their internal voices, if those voices are always trumped by the external ones. Don't you want your kid to want to be participating in things they WANT to do? If 99 out of 100 times she chooses gymnastics, that is all you can hope for and it's a good sign.

I have a L10 gymnast who almost always picks gym if there is a choice. That is why she has excelled. But occasionally she'll choose going to a school event, or to her sister's concert, or her cousin's track meet, or stay home if she's feeling exhausted, and it has never once set her back. If she was constantly choosing not to go, then I would understand she didn't love doing it anymore and we'd be having a different conversation. Ultimately, it's her call what she wants to put into it, both daily and for the long term, and I'll support her either way.
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I hear you guys. I think Dad is getting caught up on the money factor. He doesn't want her to miss for social things and then she says she needs a private later. I do see where he is coming from but in all reality this will only be the 2nd time in 3 years she has missed for something social (they just happen to be REALLY close together). Add to that we have only done 3 privates in 3 years (each one for that dang Vault) and he's just dare I say it being annoying about it. Now that I made a firm decision he has backed down on it although I suspect I will get a smirk or two if she is upset about something after her first meet. Then I can come here and vent to you guys all about that!
 
Secret confession: Perhaps I don't disclose exactly how much money we're paying for gymnastics to Puma...I would NEVER lie if he asked me, but it's kind of an unspoken rule that he doesn't really want to know so I don't really talk about...please tell me I'm not alone! Lol!

Well, if I'm paying with a check, then he would know, because he is the one consolidating the checkbook. But if it's a private, and I'm paying cash, he doesn't really need to know about it, does he? lol
 
Now that I made a firm decision he has backed down on it although I suspect I will get a smirk or two if she is upset about something after her first meet. Then I can come here and vent to you guys all about that!

That's what we're here for!!!

I was going to give my own 2 cents on the "should she/shouldn't she", but you've made your decision (which I agree with).
And typically, what I would be doing (Oh - I have only ONE child, that will help you understand), is I'd let her miss the practice for the important social event. And then, if she felt she wanted gym time, I'd pay for a private. I know that goes completely against your husband's issues, so that wont' help... (and no, it doesn't happen a lot, I just don't want her missing time with school friends if it's important to her).
But I'm another vote of support that you're doing the right thing!!!
(said as mom of a 7th grade L6).
 
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With Dd sometimes I make the Mother -call & tell her she has to miss practise ( eg grade 6 -end of primary school -dinner ) as if left up to her she'd never ever miss practise but I don't want her to look back as an adult and think of her gym experience as a childhood lost.

She is getting better at making that call.;)
 
I hear you guys. I think Dad is getting caught up on the money factor. He doesn't want her to miss for social things and then she says she needs a private later. I do see where he is coming from but in all reality this will only be the 2nd time in 3 years she has missed for something social (they just happen to be REALLY close together). Add to that we have only done 3 privates in 3 years (each one for that dang Vault) and he's just dare I say it being annoying about it. Now that I made a firm decision he has backed down on it although I suspect I will get a smirk or two if she is upset about something after her first meet. Then I can come here and vent to you guys all about that!

Vent away!!! I am glad that I am a single parent, because I don't have to run the financials by anyone! On the flip side, I don't have anyone to complain to when the gym bill and the grocery bill are in conflict ;)

But the thing is, it's an expensive sport, and it just gets more so the higher up in the levels they get. So I just don't split hairs about how much it costs, because it will never be inexpensive. Also, I have never paid for a private..I can't anyway but I won't! If they aren't getting it done during paid time, that's the coach's problem. :D
 
Secret confession: Perhaps I don't disclose exactly how much money we're paying for gymnastics to Puma...I would NEVER lie if he asked me, but it's kind of an unspoken rule that he doesn't really want to know so I don't really talk about...please tell me I'm not alone! Lol!

I like to think and talk about the cost of gymnastics in terms of the monthly total (tuition + competition costs) instead of thinking about line-item costs separately. If you break it down, tuition sounds like a fantastic deal and the competition expenses sound outrageous, at least to me. If you divide the total cost by the number of hours she spends in the gym, it comes out to less per hour than we pay or have paid for other activities, and the whole thing is much easier to swallow.
 
I like to think and talk about the cost of gymnastics in terms of the monthly total (tuition + competition costs) instead of thinking about line-item costs separately. If you break it down, tuition sounds like a fantastic deal and the competition expenses sound outrageous, at least to me. If you divide the total cost by the number of hours she spends in the gym, it comes out to less per hour than we pay or have paid for other activities, and the whole thing is much easier to swallow.
This this this this this!!!!:D:D:D:D:D
 
Secret confession: Perhaps I don't disclose exactly how much money we're paying for gymnastics to Puma...I would NEVER lie if he asked me, but it's kind of an unspoken rule that he doesn't really want to know so I don't really talk about...please tell me I'm not alone! Lol!
My husband actually asked me to alter my direct deposit at work to route more money to my solo account. he wants me to use that account to pay gym. He knows how much we spend, mostly. He just says he likes gymnastics better when he doesn't see the main account take the hit. :D:rolleyes:
 
I feel the same as you so you are not alone! DD rarely misses practices, except for vacations (spring break, summer) and we work to make those up when we are back. However sometimes, esp if they ask, it is important. I know DD is hungrier for gym time after missing, she even says she needs to get back in the gym herself. With a day off she seems to come back better than ever. If your DD is struggling with a few skills could you set up a make up or a private? That way she can attend the event yet still get some quality gym time in.
 
We ended up letting her miss. She had a great practice when returning on Saturday. If she needs more help we will move forward with privates later in the season. She is going to comeet BHS on beam so the BWO stress is gone for the time being. Her BHS is strong. Maybe she needed a day off.
 
Let her go. D misses for things like that and he is training level 9. I don't wnat him to resent gymnastics. That is what makes kids quit. I say let her go, no guilt, no conversation. In the end, it will make her a better gymnast..
Yes, this^^^^
I couldn't have said it better.
Balance between special school activities and gymnastics is key.
 
Yes! Glad she had a good "return" practice.

My DD recently ended up missing the final practice before their home meet. It was unintentional... they rescheduled a practice like 3 days before and we'd already RSVP'd to a party for DD's close friend. Anyway, I was terrified, especially as were new to the gym, there are high expectations, and she'd just had a beam fall the meet before. She ended up having her best meet to date. I think the time off helped.

If the pattern holds true, DD will also likely miss the last practice before her next meet (this weekend). Her "other" close school friend's bday party is this Friday. She missed the party last year for a meet. I did email coaches before RSVPing to see if they thought they might reschedule this one like the previous ones and I got no reply. So, DD is going to go to the party. If practice is at normal time, there is no conflict.

Prior to this, she's missed at most 5 practices over 10 months.

Being as rational as possible, missing one practice won't result in the need for privates. :)
 
LOL about not telling the dh. I think most dhs know. And they know it goes up every year. But unfortunately it is depressing to talk about. So we try not to discuss it. I am not trying to hide it in any way. But I also don't want to flaunt it either. So we don't really talk about it.
 
LOL about not telling the dh. I think most dhs know. And they know it goes up every year. But unfortunately it is depressing to talk about. So we try not to discuss it. I am not trying to hide it in any way. But I also don't want to flaunt it either. So we don't really talk about it.
Exactly!!!
 

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